Question for the fit who hit the gym
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As has been mentioned previously, I won't approach people to offer aid unless one of the following 3 things happen:
1) They look like they're doing something dangerous and/or are about to hurt themselves (or others);
2) They specifically ask. Of course, that's them approaching me, so I guess that shouldn't necessarily be in here;
3) They look like they're completely unsure of things. In that case, I'll ask if they're looking for something (like a piece of equipment). That way, if they want advice/help, the ice is broken. If not, no big deal.0 -
T-nation.com is another site if you want to check out too, its female friendly.0
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RedArizona5 wrote: »T-nation.com is another site if you want to check out too, its female friendly.
really?0 -
Wow. I really have to commend you, and I salute you. I totally mean that. A lot of people give in to "gymtimidation," but not you. You're obviously struggling with this issue, but you're choosing to face it. That sort of thing makes me so proud.
I just observed a discussion between two obese women and a former "fatty." The two overweight women were talking about how they don't want any fit, muscular people around when they work out. They even applauded the fact that their gym tries to keep those kind of people away. You choose to educate yourself instead though, and I respect that more than words can express.0 -
I joined the gym last month, first time I've ever went to the gym, previously I just used a treadmill at home. But I wanted to do more than just cardio. I felt very out of place at first, and still am a little timid. The gym I joined is smaller than a place like Golds gym or Planet Fitness, which I prefer. But the more I go, the more comfortable I am starting to feel. I try to scope out what other people are doing with weights or on the machines, while I'm doing cardio, so I can learn from them. I can't afford a personal trainer either, and I'm not comfortable yet to ask anyone for help, so I just watch others and watch a lot of YouTube videos on stuff I want to try, such as deadlifts, squats, etc. Pat yourself on the back for that first step of even joining the gym b/c it can be intimidating. Everyone is there for the same reasons tho...to lose weight and/or get healthy. Nobody is there to stare at you and make you feel bad about yourself. I have a hard time learning that myself, so thank you for this post. Congrats and good luck! Keep it up!!0
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Oh no, did I say something wrong? Ok then never mind the female friendly. i added that int ere for some weird reason. but i like t-nation its a good site just forget the last part of my sentence i didn't word it correctly or should have left it out.0
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I wholly agree with JoRocka. Get yourself educated and you will feel so much more confident.
The only time I judge anyone in the weight room is when I see people using awful form and risking injury.
The best way to look like you know what you are doing in the weight room is to actually know what you are doing in the weight room, and the best way to do that is to get someone to teach you. If you can't afford that (I couldn't either) then watch videos on youtube from a knowledgeable source. Please look into a program that will teach you how to lift safely. If you injure yourself, you will set back all your goals.0 -
Nobody should consider that offensive. A lot of us used to be fat too, including me. Unfortunately, a lot of people who struggle with their weight choose to treat the word itself as though it's the cause of offense.englishmermaid wrote: »I don't mean to offend anyone by saying fat and fit, I guess I'm just used to saying I'm fat
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. nevermind .0
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I only notice people at the gym who look like famous people. I go late at night when my kids are in bed and so far I've seen a couple of Beibers, Larry David, Selena Gomez (she wasn't hanging out with Beiber), Larry the Cable Guy, and Tyler Joseph from 21 pilots. Ok, maybe I'm just tired and dont see well.
Once I went very early in the morning and I swear I saw my little brother. He lives 3 hours away. Dude looked so much like him that I sent my bro a text at like 6am asking why the hell he was at my gym.
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I haven't read the other replies, but just wanted to say not to be intimidated. I am quite shy and it took me a while to feel comfortable in the weights section of my gyms. Now I have no trouble and feel confident and strong. It has helped me in so many other aspects of my life as well as that confidence carries over. You can do it! Maybe take a friend with you for support
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enterdanger wrote: »I only notice people at the gym who look like famous people. I go late at night when my kids are in bed and so far I've seen a couple of Beibers, Larry David, Selena Gomez (she wasn't hanging out with Beiber), Larry the Cable Guy, and Tyler Joseph from 21 pilots. Ok, maybe I'm just tired and dont see well.
Once I went very early in the morning and I swear I saw my little brother. He lives 3 hours away. Dude looked so much like him that I sent my bro a text at like 6am asking why the hell he was at my gym.
so hilarious 0 -
Those fitties in the back room may seem like the cool/mean kids on the playlot (and, perhaps one or two is) but for the most part this anxiety you feel may be unfounded. Go and try it, you'll probably like it and forget all about them (and better, still might they were/are you)
Cheers!0 -
As has been mentioned previously, I won't approach people to offer aid unless one of the following 3 things happen:
1) They look like they're doing something dangerous and/or are about to hurt themselves (or others);
2) They specifically ask. Of course, that's them approaching me, so I guess that shouldn't necessarily be in here;
3) They look like they're completely unsure of things. In that case, I'll ask if they're looking for something (like a piece of equipment). That way, if they want advice/help, the ice is broken. If not, no big deal.
I agree with this. I wouldn't approach someone and assume they wanted my help...they would either need to look helplessly around or approach me. I know I wouldn't want anyone to offer me assistance if I didn't need it. I still have people (well, men) offer to take 45's off the bar for me, which annoys me no matter how much I try not to let it get to me.0 -
OP I recently read something and when I saw your post and it felt like the encouragement you need to hear. "Fear is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. In overcoming our fears we can move forward stronger and wiser within ourselves." So my advice is to just try it a few times so that you can make an informed decision on how it actually is instead of what you think it might be like.0
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Every time I see someone who is unfit seeking to get fit I admire them knowing how they are out of their comfort zone seeking to get healthy and strong. Go for it.0
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All sorts of fitness levels are present at my gym. No, I wouldn't think anything of an overweight person using the equipment - it's even likely I wouldn't notice you. I'm busy doing my thing.
And unless you are doing something dangerous, I'm not going to comment or provide unasked for input. If you do want pointers or help, just ask (please not while I'm actually in a lift). I'll be glad to help.
I would recommend that you talk to the staff and have them spend a short session showing you the equipment if you have doubts. And yes, as others have said, find a good program, read up, watch videos and certainly ask people here for input.0 -
If you aren't comfortable approaching people (I wasn't either) then I really recommend googling lifting weights at the gym. That is what I did, that and I observed other people. Don't be afraid to approach, I think you'll find that most people are willing to help! Everyone is there for the same reason (more or less) so most should be willing to help.0
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englishmermaid wrote: »So if you see a fat girl at the gym, who's been there every day doing cardio, would you be kind and helpful if you saw her attempting weights?
No, I'd assume she was perfectly fine with what she's doing and wouldn't appreciate someone randomly coming up to tell her she's doing it wrong. If she asked me for my advice though, I'd help her as best as I could. To be honest, I doubt I'd even notice her to begin with as I'm just focused on what I'm doing. Everything and everyone else is just in the background. I assume it's the same for most people.
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I have felt the same way. more embarrased that I didn't know what I was doing and wasn't familiar with anything than that I was overweight.
I went SUPER early in the morning before work once (about 4am!). Just so that I could check out the weight room machine while no one was around. I literaly just read the instructions on the sides of the machines and worked all the little ajustment knobs and tested out a couple moves ( nothing heavy or dangerous, might I add, because there was no one around) then I would use a couple of the machines I felt comfortable on after my run untill the room/people felt firmiliar, then I would try new stuff a little at a time.
Also I got a free one day free pass for my friend, (most gyms do that) so that I could try new machines with someone ( in other words, I thought it would be better if we both looked dumb than just me! haha
)
But I agree that no one will Judge you at all one way or the other!
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I literally for the first time just went for it at my new gym, the weight area is mostly just men. I did pay for a few sessions with a trainer to get an idea of the equipment. It helps that we have a small rack and bench at home so I got comfortable feeling out how much I could lift, squat, etc.
Yesterday I turned up my iPod, walked in and just tried my best to focus on form and getting it done, they guys were cool and the only question I asked is "how much does this bar weigh"? LOL! It's heavier than our bar at home so I"m soooo glad I asked and they were helpful. I saw a girl lifting with them, after a couple of weeks I'm going to see if I can be down with their lifting crew, I want muscle, lots of them.
On a side note when I performed 3x3's (you can google) last year I did not lose a tone of weight but I lost a ton of inches and I wished I'd kept it up. So I'm back setting a goal to lift heavy, your body will change in amazing ways, don't let your mind stop you from going to the back of that gym!0 -
englishmermaid wrote: »this is going to sound so silly, I'm 35 years old and shouldn't be concerned with this.
I know those at the gym most likely don't even give others a second glance, as they're busy doing their thing, I know I rarely notice anyone while I'm doing cardio.
But there's a big room at the back with the weights, full of fit people. I've not been in there yet, feeling embarrassed and out of my league.
I'm new to the gym in the U.S. I used to go back in England and all the equipment there was all in the same area, I found people were really helpful, if I was unsure of something I felt ok asking anybody.
Here, having gained 50lbs since moving to the U.S. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I feel like they'd look at me and laugh at the fat girl trying to lift weights she knows nothing about, you know?
So if you see a fat girl at the gym, who's been there every day doing cardio, would you be kind and helpful if you saw her attempting weights?
I know this is so silly, I really do, I just feel silly walking into that back room full of fit people who know what they're doing, I feel like they'd think it's a five minute wonder for me, but it's not, my mind is 100% in the zone now
Totally! I showed an girl last night how to do squats. Let her work in on my set. I love it when people are honestly trying to improve themselves.0 -
Fellow fat girl here! The cardio machines and weight area are separate at the gym I got to. I am almost ALWAYS the only girl that is in the weight area. No one has ever talked to me (other than to ask if I am done with something or if they can sneak in a set in between mine) I got over it pretty quickly - that being said I agree with another poster. Unless you are about to do something really dangerous I wouldn't expect anyone to approach you.
I found going online was the BEST and most helpful way to figure out what to do and how. I use bodybuilding.com because they have videos for all the exercises, most machines have instructions right on them for how to work the machine too. I did a run through of the weighted area, took note of all the machines and equipment on a piece of paper and then looked up how to use them and what exercises they do when I got home. The website has amazing beginner plans that will help get your started in the weight world.
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I'm a current heavy girl (overweight by fifty pounds) and I've been going to the gym around 7 in the morning for two weeks now. When I got to the gym it's mostly empty besides my friend and I, a handful of people at the weights (men and women) and several older (60-80 years old) people exercising. Yesterday I went over to the weights and did stronglifts 5x5. I just, did it. I was, at first, nervous, but then I realized that I am not the first heavy person to go into the weight section.
I will say, unlike the other people posting, I DO notice other people exercising. The fit ones, the older ones, the heavier ones, everyone. I am a total people watcher. I do it everywhere I go. However, I have never, ever once thought, "God, why are they here? They are soo wasting their time." Mostly it's just a simple, "You go!" or "I wish I looked like that!" In fact, my very first day I saw a very heavy girl in the weight section knocking it out! It was so nice to see her changing herself just like I am trying to. So in short, don't worry whatsoever about what people think.
Also, I think even if I knew what I was doing I would not approach someone else at the gym unless they looked clueless, in which case I would ask if I could help them find something, or if they looked clueless and like they might hurt themselves.0 -
Going to the gym and training on a day to day strengthens much more than just muscle, it changes your mentality completely. You not only begin to hope for yourself, but you hope others will achieve their goals as well... if somebody laughs at you or refuses to help you, then they're just as weak as the moment they walked in, no matter how physically fit they are. DONT STOP working for what you really want.. the only thing you should be ashamed of being is a quitter.0
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I only think that they're wasting their time if they are, well, wasting time. Y'know... lounging on the equipment, chit-chatting without actually working out. Or using the equipment in weird ways that involve no resistance. (I saw one woman "using" a cable machine, but without any tension on the cables, so she wasn't actually moving the weights. That's obviously an extreme situation though, and even beginners know better.)I will say, unlike the other people posting, I DO notice other people exercising. The fit ones, the older ones, the heavier ones, everyone. I am a total people watcher. I do it everywhere I go. However, I have never, ever once thought, "God, why are they here? They are soo wasting their time."
I would never say that an overweight person who's genuinely exercising is wasting his or her time. How can I? I used to be at that stage as well... and if it's obvious that they're pushing themselves hard, my respect for them goes even higher.0 -
While it is true that most lifters are just focused on what they are doing and will be glad to help out a newbie if and only if they ask for help, don't be shocked if you experience some negativity. My first day in a gym I was a skinny 16-year old and 2 larger guys were laughing at me and calling me names because I couldn't press very much. At first it hurt, but I just moved on and used it as motivation to get stronger. Everybody starts at the beginning and I think it is great to see people getting into lifting for the first time.0
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In my experience, people are always more than willing to help. I would however suggest looking into a program...something like New Rules of Lifting for Women would be a good place to start. This will provide you with your workout...you will have a plan at that point and instruction on what you should be doing, when you should do it, how often, etc. Not only will you garner better results, but you will have a plan going in...you will know that you need to do X, Y, and Z because it's Tuesday for example. Then if you need a spot or someone to check your form, etc people are more than willing to help you out.0
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My gym is one of those gyms that just always seems to be full of really fit people - I'm always miles bigger than everyone else there and I'm "only" a UK size 16. I used to hate going to classes and I'm trying to work up the courage to go again - but nobody even looked at me when I was there, everyone is just doing their own thing. I might take a glance around the gym when I walk in but after that I'm totally absorbed in my workout x0
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I would not notice you. I'm concentrating on my form and the next rep, between sets, the next set.
2 years ago, I was you. I was 70 lbs over weight. I got in there and I trained.
I gave no thought to others, other than being courteous, wiping stuff down, returning equipment and being focused.
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