Things that people just SHOULDN'T say!

Somewhat on that thread i have

Them :ooo how much do you want to loose'
me : i want to be about 12 stone
them: oh why not try for 9..

or outside a restuarant with my OH
'you need to loose weight'
'really? now? do you not thing i am trying' then scream at him
he walks over.. 'but i love you either way'...

Well i am guna throw a spanner in the works now..................BIG TIME

Whats wrong with paying someone a compliment if it is deserved. Being a gentlemen is it wrong that I say someone looks amazing in their photos.

If someone looks good should you not tell then???????

I have my reasons for loosing weight and its cause I know deep down that I am not happy and I always say after the compliment that they must feel the same as me and they have there own motivations.

With my clothes on I look OK, but off is another story. I think we all can say that cant we????????

I think with my close friends on here by asking them that question you find out what really makes them tick, what really is their motivation then I can help them and support them on that motivational path.

Summer holiday right, cool, u got the bikini yet, keep that in mind, is the picture of the villa on your biscuit cupboard.

Maybe thats just me but I cant go into a full blown MFP friendship being able to motivate them by saying yer I can see why you wana loose weight.

please don't slate me. maybe my close friends on here can back me up, PLEASE.

compliments are great - when sincere. not when coming from a place of jealousy.
"you look fine" and "keep up what you're doing, you look great" are 2 very different things.

we all need to be on this journey for ourselves, but compliments and more importantly encouragement from people we care for and respect are essential.

Some older man, I am 47 he is in his late 60's (sorry don't want to offend anyone). That is an aquaintance of our family constantly flirts with my 24 year old size 2 daughter (ewwww), and barely notices me. Which creeps me out but I am OK with. I hadn't seen him in awhile since I lost the 35 lbs and he asked me if I had been doing something different with my hair, he wanted to strike up a conversation. SUDDENLY he is interested in ME....ewwww After I felt the need to shower I quickly answered NOPE are you doing something different with your hair??? He blushed because, He is bald!!!! I guess what bothers me is it's sad that people should notice you when your heavy because of your size but you tend to go unnoticed.....or get made fun of. I wish we could change that as a society.

now that you've lost weight, you can really notice your smile lines.

thanks! i'd rather be healthy with wrinkles than fat with chipmunk cheeks!

My family continually tries to over feed me.

"theres lots left have some more"

"Oh, you weren't that big!"

Stand your ground! I am nursing and my family keeps telling me that my milk production will stop if I don't eat a TON! I count every calorie and I know how much I need to eat to keep making milk for my daughter! Do not let them make you feel like you have to eat more! Eat what means YOU feel good/full!

My family asks me all the time, "You can eat that"? It's like why wouldn't I be able to have a small piece of something.

My family asks me all the time, "You can eat that"? It's like why wouldn't I be able to have a small piece of something.

Oh yeah, I hate that one too. My husbands granma is the worst. I dont even like eating in front of her anymore!

Two people today asked me what I am doing besides exercise to lose this weight...ummm...like what are you trying to suggest? I am just working out and watching what I eat...what else do I have to do?

oh man, i can remember clearly two incidents when i got so angry (kept it inside, of course ). they are both exactly the same but with different people - "are you on a diet?" why does someone assume that?

the first was years ago, about 3. i was 16 or so and me and my friends were sitting in the school canteen. if i remember right, this was during one of my attempts to lose weight by barely eating. it failed, but anyway. we were sitting there and i wasnt having anything to eat for lunch. this girl, who i am still friends with, turned to me and said "Jade are you on a diet?". first of all, she just blurted it out loud at the table infront of everyone, and suddenly people were thinking about my weight. and second, why would she say it? just because a fat girl does not happen to be eating at any particular moment doesnt mean she is on a diet. i could have been feeling unwell. i may just have not been hungry. but no - with the fat girl, it was automatically a diet, because that is the ONLY reason i could possibly have stopped stuffing my face.

the second was the following year i think. i was at work on a saturday afternoon. it was a cafe. at lunch i decided instead of crispy chilli chicken like i usually had, i would have a sandwich. this was not during a diet. my boss, who is a woman, asked me "Jade are you on a wee diet?" again, in the middle of work where im sure many people overheard. thanks for drawing all attention to my fat rolls. really, i appreciate it.

"you have such a pretty face"

It's like Oh well, even though you're big and fat, at least you have an ok face

The other thing that I never ever want to hear again is: "oh well just start exercising a little, like maybe walk around the block or park your car in the furthest spot"

That rates right up there with "oh well if you give up soda, you'll lose 10 pounds like that"

Um, yeah, so even when I'm not trying to lose weight I don't drink soda or juice or anything with sugar other than a single daily cup of coffee with 32 calories from sugar. I walk daily for health and I do most of my errands on foot even when I'm not making an extra effort at weight loss. I get sooooo annoyed by the assumption that I'm big and fat because I never leave my couch and drink soda all day and all I have to do is quit soda and walk around the block and I'll be thin.

I was typing that one as you posted it...LOL

*such a pretty face* HELLLOOO I have a body attached to the face too... grr

Thank you so much for posting that. We all know how hard we work, wouldn't it be nice if the people around us gave us a little more encouragement, rather than a lot of backhanded compliments?

I do think people say the things they do, because they feel bad about not making the effort themselves. I don't want to make them feel bad about that, I just want them to try and see, eventually, how rewarding it is. But, it's like most things in life, you only get out of it what you put in.

For all those struggling with negative comments, just comtinue to believe in yourself. After all, you are the one doing all the hard work xxxxxx

My mother in law ' ohh no you cant have that'..

er yes I can but not the entire box of.


My mother in law - it's not very low in cals sorry (not too bad a comment I guess)

Thats ok I only want a small piece anyway.



My father in law - how yer gastric-elastic band?? boing boing

my mother in law - ^ shut up Roger! just shut up.

Being told I don't need to lose weight will never, ever bother me. (I've never been told that, by the way.) It would give me a sense of freedom, knowing that I don't have to do something but I can if I want. I suppose it depends on how it's phrased and the attitude behind it.

I don't like being told to "take a day off" during a food-centric family function. What people don't understand is that a day off for me can turn into weeks off, maybe even months. I have a problem with food. A day off can lead to disastrous consequences for someone like me.

Of course, the above situation doesn't bother me half as bad as when amateurs critique my eating. "I thought you were on a diet," this while I'm eating a plate of healthy but hearty food. Because being on a diet means only eating carrots, celery, and an apple on occasion? Sorry, kiddo, but I don't do starvation diets. Only amateurs, the kind of people who crash diet for a month, give up, then gain it all back, work in that way.

There's a reason why I've managed to keep off 50 lbs for the last 3 years.