My personal trainer dilemma

bigdawg025 · May 2011

So... I didn't know exactly where to post this, but nutrition seemed appropriate. I have an issue with the plan my new trainer laid out for me, and I will tell you why...

1. This is MY program... tailored to MY own personal goals... not the goals of the guy I just paid $55 a session to train me!!! I said I would be happy reaching my goal weight in 6 months to a year... he said, "Oh, no that's way too long. I'm going to set it at 3 months... 3 months to lose 30 pounds!!!! Are you kidding me???" I'm not in a hurry here... nor am I interested in being the biggest loser. Those aren't MY personal goals.

2. He set me up with a very strict diet... basically told me to throw out all my cereal... no beer... I could go on and on... I have a list of foods I'm "allowed" to eat. That again... is not a goal of mine. I happen to enjoy a few beers... the occasional ice cream... wings on Fridays... etc. That's MY choice. I never once said I wanted to eat a 1500-1800 calorie diet. (That's a 1000 calorie a day deficit, which is ridiculous.)

3. This is the kicker... I was coerced... ok... more like convinced... after all I did make this decision on my own... into buying $77 worth of dot fit products. 2 boxes of very expensive protein bars, which is a shame (2.50 and 2.66 a bar is OUTRAGEOUS) because they are really tasty. And... a bottle each of multivitamins and calcium supplements that I could probably get at Walgreens for half the price.

So... how did I go from being someone with simply having a goal of adding some weights into my daily/weekly routine... keeping in mind... I am already doing Bodypump class twice a week... to basically becoming a body builder and losing extremely quick amounts of weight??? That's not who I've ever been... and I have NEVER believed in or desired to eat a strict diet and deprive myself of all the foods I enjoy (except for ONE cheat MEAL per week... YAY!!! Which he says to keep down to 800 calories... ummmm... EXCUSE ME!!! I had that for dinner just be eating 2 lean burgers on whole wheat buns with a slice of cheese on each. That to me was NOT a cheat meal.

Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

rharris86dc · May 2011

Personally, I would just be honest with the trainer and tell him the issues you have with what he has set up for you. Tell him this is your life, your body, and your program, and you want to do it on your terms. Tell him that while it is awesome that he thinks you have the potential to get to your goal in 3 months, that just isn't your timeframe. Slow and steady wins the race.

I would be thinking, very loudly in my head, "Hey *kitten*, I'm paying you to help me. NOT to make my life miserable for 3 months."

And then I would probably find another trainer.

But I'm interested in what others have to say, so I'll be keeping an eye on here, lol.

registers · May 2011

I am more of a blunt person. So this may not before you... You have to tell him directly. Something such as, "I told you what my goals, by when I want to achieve my goal. I think you're pushing me to fast, The point is to keep this a life style not a crash course." IF that doesn't budge him, say something along the lines of. "Let me remind you, I am the one paying you, I am telling you what I want. The one who is paying is the one who makes the calls, not the employee's"

alliecore · May 2011

As an aspiring personal trainer, I am outraged at every aspect of this story. One of the most basic aspects of being a PT is the "PERSONAL" part. Where you listen to the client, and really HEAR what they are saying. Listen to THIER goals. Then design a program that is custom-made to suit the exact needs and wishes of the individual.

It sounds to me like that trainer needs to find a new career. I hate to be judgemental here, but you were treated with such disrespect. You have every right to be angry and dissatisfied. Actions like you described give all trainers a bad name. You deserved to be respected, and to have your goals and desired validated. I'm truly sorry that you had such a bad experience. I promise, not every trainer is like that!:flowerforyou:

courtneyweiss · May 2011

Sounds like this trainer doesn't listen. Plain and simple. He's not going to have much success in his business if he doesn't listen to his clients and set realistic, attainable goals. Sounds like you just have to be honest with him. And if he's too hardcore about it, dump him. It may be a tough break-up, but in the end you need to be happy, right? :drinker:

PS: I love my beer, too!

annastacia10 · May 2011

I would say either have an honest sit down with your trainer or find another one. No one should set their weight loss goals at higher than 2 pounds per week. In accounting, which is what I do, a month is pre-set at 4.33 weeks (because there are some variances in there for months with longer weeks or shorter weeks per month, Feb. for example). So just going by this formula if you were to go hard core at weight loss you would lose 24 pounds in 3 months at 2 pounds per week.. I really think a more realistic goal is .75-1.4 per week for weight loss. You will be more likely to keep the weight loss you have achieved off and still have a life you can enjoy. Whatever you decide good luck in achieving your goals!

catniss · May 2011

Maybe you could copy exactly what you just wrote, hand it to the trainer, tell him you'd like to discuss it, give him a couple of minutes and then ask to start again from the beginning. I would also ask to return the items. Lastly, if he still doesn't/can't listen to you, ask for your money back and find another one. Good luck.

Katie320 · May 2011

I agree that you need to speak up. Your money and time is not being put to good use. Maybe you could tell him that you really thought and reflected on what he said/suggested and have decided that it will not fit into your life style. Therefore the two of you need to go over the plan and make some adjustments. If he tries to convince you otherwise, find another trainer. He will not be effective for you. If finding another trainer is not possible go over his head and talk to his supervisor. I also find it somewhat disconcerting that he convinced you to buy products. Ask if you can return them, or at least make clear that in the future you will not be purchasing more.

No matter what, stand your ground.

Celo24 · May 2011

Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

You fire the *kitten* and find someone who will listen to you and help you achieve YOUR goals.

NavyWifeag · May 2011

Tell him what you want. Why did you hire him and what did you expect to get from hiring him? If you hired him to push you during a workout and teach you new exercises then that's what he needs to do. You hired a trainer, not a nutritionist. Return your protein bars and supplements or sell them on Ebay. Tell him what you want. If he doesn't listen tell him it's not going to work. Fitness and nutrition should be livable for you. Some people may love his plan, but you do not. If you don't like the plan you won't stick to it and you won't see change. It's as simple as that. Personally, I'd be looking for a new trainer, someone who doesn't try to push you into his plan so he can sell you crap.

CatseyeHardcast · May 2011

You don't need a PT, not one with that attitude anyway. Save your money. There is plenty of support and advice in this and many other similar communities around.

alliecore · May 2011

Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

You fire the *kitten* and find someone who will listen to you and help you achieve YOUR goals.

That too!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Way to say it straight, "Mr. Popularity"!

Thexplodingirl · May 2011

Best yet, print out this thread, hand it to him, and tell him you'd like to discuss your options with him when he's finished reading it.

hroush · May 2011

I'd almost guess he's getting kickbacks from all that stuff you bought. I'd simply say, "listen to what I want or I'm finding someone else." Truthfully, he doesn't even deserve that much.

sugarbeans · May 2011

I agree you will most likely have to sit him down and tell him how upset this has made you feel. Let him know that exactly and tell him that if he doesn't help you the way that you would like then you will find someone else. After all YOU are his BOSS and your work hard for your money. Inform him you are looking for something that will suit your lifestyle not a quick fix.

I have had both negative and positive experiences with trainers one I had to let go because they simply would not listen and it came to a point where I just stopped going all together so that I wouldn't have to deal with it. That lasted a week and then I woke up and said this isn't right talked to them about how I felt and they said we weren't a right fit and I was transfered to someone else.. My new trainer was amazing and we still keep in touch even though we haven't worked together in a while. (too expensive=( )

I'm sorry you had such a rough experience.

Celo24 · May 2011

Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

You fire the *kitten* and find someone who will listen to you and help you achieve YOUR goals.

That too!!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Way to say it straight, "Mr. Popularity"!

Lol. That's what I do. :drinker:

Pandorian · May 2011

I'm not keen on the trainers that's for sure, I have only used one of my two complimentary sessions with a trainer because 1) he wanted me to sign up on the spot for a 6 month plan with a trainer while I was still even trying out the fit for the gym, which I had signed up for. 2) he wanted me on products, I don't DO supplements or pills, it takes a LOT for me to take something for a headache, when I go for one you know it's a pesky one (whey protein and bran fiber etc I consider as something else)
3) he took me from what he knew was essentially entirely inactive and had me do 150 squats, I didn't walk for about a week after that.
4) just his attitude rubbed me wrong, oh I'm X weight, you should get yours down in this time frame yada yada. My weight loss will take the time it takes, doing it on MFP has me down 30 lbs in 4 months, not too shabby considering I'd gone up 15 lbs in the last 2 years, so I'm reversing the trend a lot faster.

I still haven't gone back for my second session, and, really I haven't been to the gym itself in a month (new job and I haven't figured out how to have the life I want and have time for gym and visiting friends around work as yet)

But if you're paying the trainer they should certainly be listening to you for setting your goals and all. Yes I expect me to be listening to them for workouts, they're the ones "trained" in it but when it comes to laying out goals and time-frames...

mere282 · May 2011

i diagree with that comment... a trainer can be a important part of making a complete lifestyle change...You have to find the right one..Thats the hard part...Look for a trainer that motaviting,well educated,pateint...and who truley lisens to you!!!

Noctuary · May 2011

I suggest that whatever you decide to do...you take care of the problem before you decide to get another trainer. That problem, being you. You've learned a lesson and now the next time you will know better. I'm sorry if I am being blunt. But no one and I mean NO ONE can make me part with that much money without my consent. No way! Tell him you have changed your mind.

Russellb97 · May 2011

I'm a trainer and nutrition coach.
I had a similar issue today, my client wanted to follow my diet plan which means she eats low-carb during the day and more at night.
She tried for a day and says she can't do it, but instead of making her feel low. I told her the honest truth, if she stays within her calorie goals she will lose weight. Sure she will lose more body-fat my way, but the main point is the calorie goal, and if that is within range she will be just fine.
if it can't work for you then it simply can't. Don't try and fit a round peg in a square hole, work with what you can do. What's the point of trying to lose weight in a way that you won't maintain as a lifestyle, because sooner or later the weight will come back. If you or my client are already saying you can't, than you won't. You need to be upfront with your trainer about your ideas, you know your body better than they do. Yes they will give you great advice, but ultimately it comes down to you. So a plan needs to be in place that you feel comfortable with. Does that make sense?

ivyjbres · May 2011

Now... the real question is... how do I go about putting my trainer in his place and telling him that we're going to revamp this program so that it's more tailored toward me and my own fitness/weight loss goals???

Fire him, and the the *kitten* on EBay!

You've got the checkbook, you're in charge, he doesn't like, he can pack it up...

My personal trainer dilemma

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