Keep Getting "I am glad I don't have to do that"
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I live in the big city where life goes on fast and many people are impatient. I can easily imagine people’s reactions, if someone asked a calories related question before ordering in the deli. I would probably have been one of those people, if that had happened more than a year ago at my deli.
At that time I did not want to deal with my weight issue. Similar reaction to the one you described would be my way of suppressing the thought that this issue actually concerns me, too. It would be a kind of psychological self-defense against an unpleased thought.
Those who don’t have to deal with weight loss issue will never fully understand our state of mind and our behaviors. We can understand them, because we used to be them, but they don’t understand us.
I think we get the best support from people who are dealing with the same challenges that we are. Family and friends should be the most supportive, but as you experienced at the family function, sometimes it happens differently.
My experience is that the acquaintances I met online provide the most valuable support.0 -
Wow, measuring your food at a family function seems pretty extreme to me .... I get measuring at home while you are learning about the right kind of portion sizes, but can't you judge it by eye when you are out? Honestly I think if you do this (which you have to admit is pretty unusual behaviour) you will just have to put up with the comments.
To me its all about making choices - I choose to be discreet with choosing what and how much I eat when I'm in public because I don't want comments!
Having said this, I think their comments are rude, some people just have no idea. I think though that they are probably saying it in self defense because seeing other people making healthier choices makes them feel guilty about the junk they are putting in their mouth!
As I stated we are still trying to learn what each portion size might look like so we do measure if we go to families houses to eat. We have not been eating out yet because we want to do this right and not knowing serving sizes by sight yet is not helpful. If someone had to give themselves an insulin shot before they eat to keep themselves on track with their diabetes I wouldn't say "I am glad I don't have to do that". I would figure they are doing what they have to do and not try and embarass them by saying something like that. I honestly don't feel that measuring is extreme or unusual behavior when you are really trying to make a difference in the amount you are eating.0 -
Wow, measuring your food at a family function seems pretty extreme to me .... I get measuring at home while you are learning about the right kind of portion sizes, but can't you judge it by eye when you are out? Honestly I think if you do this (which you have to admit is pretty unusual behaviour) you will just have to put up with the comments.
To me its all about making choices - I choose to be discreet with choosing what and how much I eat when I'm in public because I don't want comments!
Having said this, I think their comments are rude, some people just have no idea. I think though that they are probably saying it in self defense because seeing other people making healthier choices makes them feel guilty about the junk they are putting in their mouth!
As I stated we are still trying to learn what each portion size might look like so we do measure if we go to families houses to eat. We have not been eating out yet because we want to do this right and not knowing serving sizes by sight yet is not helpful. If someone had to give themselves an insulin shot before they eat to keep themselves on track with their diabetes I wouldn't say "I am glad I don't have to do that". I would figure they are doing what they have to do and not try and embarass them by saying something like that. I honestly don't feel that measuring is extreme or unusual behavior when you are really trying to make a difference in the amount you are eating.
I didn't mean to put down what you are doing, but I have never in my life seen anyone measuring how much they are eating when they are at a family function. It's not a bad thing to do, but you have to admit it is unusual! Which unfortunately means that people will comment.
If it's working for you, that's great, go for it, hopefully the family will get used to it and stop being so rude.
And soon you will have to get used to the comments of "wow, you are looking so great, how did you do it"
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Don't let anyone make you feel bad about what you're doing. "Glad I don't have to do that?" Well, you probably should be doing it. Who is acting more foolishly in that situation? The person who is monitoring what goes into their body, or the person who isn't? Keep with it, don't let people get you down.0
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I've had several people over the years (generally family based on what and how I eat at family functions) who make snide remarks about my eating and exercise habits. My favorite was always, "With all that exercise you do, you don't need to watch your fat intake, so just eat _____ and quit with all the measuring and asking questions (about how it was made, contents)" or the "glad I'm naturally skinny so I don't have to do all that work to get there like you do." Being the blunt person I am, I point out that more unfit skinny people die each year then fit slightly overweight people. And if they don't believe that, all they have to do is look at our family tree. (Both my Mom and my Grandmother died in their 50's from cardiovascular issues.) So while they are *****ing about how I eat and exercise, I'm planning on how peaceful my life will be when they kick off early from not eating right and exercising. Shuts them right up! :laugh:0
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The girls and guys i work with say that to me everyday " oh i dunno how you could just eat that or i dunno how you can be bothered to go to the gym at 6am every morning" i now just say back " it keeps my weight down, it makes me healthier on the inside as well as the outside, it sets me up for the day cos im feeling refreshed and above all, i can sit comfortable at my desk all day without the waistband of my trousers cutting me in two
it shuts them up at least lol 0 -
My Mother-In-Law means well, but everytime I see her she says to me, "If I had to eat that I would be in a bad mood all the time! I couldnt do that!" Well, if you want to be healthy and feel good about yourself then you do what it takes, right?! So don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Do what YOU need to do and forget the rest. :happy:
my future mother in law called my weight loss efforts "fanatical" yesterday. I wanted to point out that if she went to the same efforts, she might be able to loose the extra weight she complains about along with lowering her cholesterol and other medical issues she is now blaming for her weight issues.0 -
ps - I held my tongue0
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I've been guilty of saying the gym one but it wasn't meant as a put down. I've tried it and I STILL don't understand how some people can go at daft o clock in the morning and manage to get through the day without falling asleep on their feet. I'm just sooooooo not a morning person lol, getting up early leaves me exhausted all day even without going to the gym. I used to force myself to go after work instead and I'd get the same sort of comment from people who'd go before work "I don't know how you can be bothered going to the gym after a full days work". We all figure out what works for us and use it I guess.The girls and guys i work with say that to me everyday " oh i dunno how you could just eat that or i dunno how you can be bothered to go to the gym at 6am every morning"
The whole "Oh I couldn't do that!" when it comes to calorie counting and watching what we eat baffles me. Yes, you could do it if you had to or wanted to, the fact is you just don't want to. Well I don't particularly want to either but I'd rather count calories than take a load of medication for blood pressure, diabetes and any other health problems my weight is causing. Oh, and I'd rather be fit than fat of course.0 -
My Mother-In-Law means well, but everytime I see her she says to me, "If I had to eat that I would be in a bad mood all the time! I couldnt do that!" Well, if you want to be healthy and feel good about yourself then you do what it takes, right?! So don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Do what YOU need to do and forget the rest. :happy:
my future mother in law called my weight loss efforts "fanatical" yesterday. I wanted to point out that if she went to the same efforts, she might be able to loose the extra weight she complains about along with lowering her cholesterol and other medical issues she is now blaming for her weight issues.
hahahah I can relate to this.
Mine will say snarky comments just to piss me off. I don't know what world she is living in, but she seems to think that she is smaller than me. And she thinks that because she lost 30lbs in 2 months (because she ate nothing but pudding while her FALSE TEETH WERE BEING MADE), that makes her a health guru. Right. lol
When I was in her daughter (my sister in law's) wedding last year, I left my bridesmaid's dress at her house. My MIL tried the dang thing on and was like, "Miranda, that dress CANNOT fit you. I am about 3 sizes smaller than you are and I couldn't even get it zipped. You need to get another size!!!" ... She shut up pretty fast when I put the dress on and it zipped with no problem.0 -
Someone said that to me the other day and my response was, "I'm glad I have to do that. I'm happy to be accountable for what I'm doing to my body. I'm happy to be working towards a goal and to be reaching that goal. I'm glad to be taking control of my life."0
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I've had several people over the years (generally family based on what and how I eat at family functions) who make snide remarks about my eating and exercise habits. My favorite was always, "With all that exercise you do, you don't need to watch your fat intake, so just eat _____ and quit with all the measuring and asking questions (about how it was made, contents)" or the "glad I'm naturally skinny so I don't have to do all that work to get there like you do." Being the blunt person I am, I point out that more unfit skinny people die each year then fit slightly overweight people. And if they don't believe that, all they have to do is look at our family tree. (Both my Mom and my Grandmother died in their 50's from cardiovascular issues.) So while they are *****ing about how I eat and exercise, I'm planning on how peaceful my life will be when they kick off early from not eating right and exercising. Shuts them right up! :laugh:
This is a good one.
I focus on body composition rather than body weight, so when I have the “naturally skinny” (skinny-fat) relatives that chime in on my eating and exercise habits I bluntly point out that “while you may weigh less than me you are in fact fatter than me.” This tends to shut them up quickly.0 -
I've had several people over the years (generally family based on what and how I eat at family functions) who make snide remarks about my eating and exercise habits. My favorite was always, "With all that exercise you do, you don't need to watch your fat intake, so just eat _____ and quit with all the measuring and asking questions (about how it was made, contents)" or the "glad I'm naturally skinny so I don't have to do all that work to get there like you do." Being the blunt person I am, I point out that more unfit skinny people die each year then fit slightly overweight people. And if they don't believe that, all they have to do is look at our family tree. (Both my Mom and my Grandmother died in their 50's from cardiovascular issues.) So while they are *****ing about how I eat and exercise, I'm planning on how peaceful my life will be when they kick off early from not eating right and exercising. Shuts them right up! :laugh:
This is a good one.
I focus on body composition rather than body weight, so when I have the “naturally skinny” (skinny-fat) relatives that chime in on my eating and exercise habits I bluntly point out that “while you may weigh less than me you are in fact fatter than me.” This tends to shut them up quickly.
Just tell them if they don't shut up, you'll pick them up and throw them. I get that crap, too. The ones that can't believe a 5 foot tall woman doesn't eat like a bird. I'd rather lift, eat, and thrive than starve.
I get the look of scorn for bringing in a big salad everyday. "Well aren't we Martha Stewart?" "aren't we the health buff?" Seriously, making a salad has to be about the most stupid easy thing to do. You throw leftover stuff in a container and put some kind of dressing on it. For homemade meals, it doesn't get much easier than that. No cooking required.0 -
I had one coworker who kept saying what a pain it must be to log calories, I must have to obsess about calories in order to count them, how horrible that I can't eat an entire giant burrito for lunch, etc. I just politely smiled and told her it was no trouble at all. Mind you, she is now the same one whining how much weight she has gained and asking what my "secret" to weight loss is. 0
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I don't get that same comment, but I do have family members who just don't understand.
My FIL (who I don't like much to begin with) did the Atkins diet, but while doing it- he had a heart attack and is also a diabetic. Caused by the diet? Who knows, probably not. But, drinking alcohol like a fish (which is a carb even though he refuses to believe it) and living on bacon isn't heatlhy and I refuse to live my life that way.
He told me that I should try the Atkin's diet, I'll do so much better with my weight loss. No thanks, I won't deprive my body of anything and I'll continue to lose. Why he thinks HE should be the one to say anything, I have no idea.0 -
Most of my friends and family are very supportive but for those who think it is there place to commentI just say god bless you! Shuts them up everytime0
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I've had several people over the years (generally family based on what and how I eat at family functions) who make snide remarks about my eating and exercise habits. My favorite was always, "With all that exercise you do, you don't need to watch your fat intake, so just eat _____ and quit with all the measuring and asking questions (about how it was made, contents)" or the "glad I'm naturally skinny so I don't have to do all that work to get there like you do." Being the blunt person I am, I point out that more unfit skinny people die each year then fit slightly overweight people. And if they don't believe that, all they have to do is look at our family tree. (Both my Mom and my Grandmother died in their 50's from cardiovascular issues.) So while they are *****ing about how I eat and exercise, I'm planning on how peaceful my life will be when they kick off early from not eating right and exercising. Shuts them right up! :laugh:
This is a good one.
I focus on body composition rather than body weight, so when I have the “naturally skinny” (skinny-fat) relatives that chime in on my eating and exercise habits I bluntly point out that “while you may weigh less than me you are in fact fatter than me.” This tends to shut them up quickly.
Just tell them if they don't shut up, you'll pick them up and throw them. I get that crap, too. The ones that can't believe a 5 foot tall woman doesn't eat like a bird. I'd rather lift, eat, and thrive than starve.
I get the look of scorn for bringing in a big salad everyday. "Well aren't we Martha Stewart?" "aren't we the health buff?" Seriously, making a salad has to be about the most stupid easy thing to do. You throw leftover stuff in a container and put some kind of dressing on it. For homemade meals, it doesn't get much easier than that. No cooking required.
I actually had a doctor once that I threated to throw out his office window. This was when I was at the height of my body building phase and was only 13% body fat. He walked into the exam room and didn't even look up to see me. Based solely on what he was reading on the chart he started off with, "Well, the first thing you need to do is lose 50 pounds" to a brand new patient he'd never seen before (And didn't see again!). My response was "Thanks, but no thanks. That's 50 pounds of muscle that I'll be glad to use to pick you up and throw you out that window if you ever give me a stupid recommendation like that again." He looked up then and I flexed a bicep for good measure. He then sputtered and stammered as I went on to explain that BMI is bogus and he needs to look at the whole patient and their body composition not just BMI or weight to make his recommendations, but preferably someone with his lack of knowledge wouldn't be telling patients anything about weight. I then left and found a new doctor--one of my Pilates students.0 -
I've had several people over the years (generally family based on what and how I eat at family functions) who make snide remarks about my eating and exercise habits. My favorite was always, "With all that exercise you do, you don't need to watch your fat intake, so just eat _____ and quit with all the measuring and asking questions (about how it was made, contents)" or the "glad I'm naturally skinny so I don't have to do all that work to get there like you do." Being the blunt person I am, I point out that more unfit skinny people die each year then fit slightly overweight people. And if they don't believe that, all they have to do is look at our family tree. (Both my Mom and my Grandmother died in their 50's from cardiovascular issues.) So while they are *****ing about how I eat and exercise, I'm planning on how peaceful my life will be when they kick off early from not eating right and exercising. Shuts them right up! :laugh:
This is a good one.
I focus on body composition rather than body weight, so when I have the “naturally skinny” (skinny-fat) relatives that chime in on my eating and exercise habits I bluntly point out that “while you may weigh less than me you are in fact fatter than me.” This tends to shut them up quickly.
My sister is one of those who likes to stroke her own ego by being lighter then everyone around her. In my family, that is pretty easy. Well, for the past decade + I've not lived in the same state as my family, so they don't see me often. I'm also the family photographer so most of the pictures and home videos I've sent to my family are of my kids but I'm not in them because I'm the one holding the camera. About 4-5 years ago, my sister asked me on the phone how much I weigh, bragging that she was down to 140. So, I told her 180-190, but didn't mention dress size. He felt good and was gloating about being 50 pounds lighter then me. Several months later, my Mom had a stroke and I went out there to be with her in her final days. When my sister saw me, she popped off that I'd lost a lot of weight. My response was that no, I was still about 185. She didn't believe me--to the point that I had to get on the scale in the hospital to prove it to her--because at 140 she was in a size 18 but at 185 I'm in a size 8. (I'm actually 193 right now and still in a size 8.) Lets just say it was an eye opener for me as to just how much of a difference there can be in the human body based on body composition instead of weight. I've always focused more on body fat then weight, but that just really cemented it as the way for me to judge things.0 -
After reading all of these comments, I am feeling very fortunate that most of the comments I get are similar to "Wow, you eat so healthy" and "your eating habits are a real inspiration". Of course, I watch my family members stuff things in their mouths that I will no longer eat and I swear I can hear their arteries hardening over the next hour ... but I do not preach to them about it. I love them and want them to be healthy, but ultimately, it is up to them. I also suspect, given their eating habits (and my 'tell it like it is' personality), that no one will ever say anything like that to me about my eating habits, my weighing or measuring my food, etc. because they know up front that they will not be at all happy with the response it would get from me as a result 0
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