Anyone ever lose a very close pet?
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I know I will not. I will be stunned if i get a pet and if i am ACTUALLY ready it will not be for year and then it may not be.I'm sorry for your loss.
I have grieved hard when pets have died before. You loved your pet. They were a special part of your life. It takes time just like if a person you loved died.
Someday you will probably have another pet in your life. Don't rush it. I got another cat before I was ready and never really bonded with her because she wasn't my beloved cat. When I waited a few years to get another dog it was easier.
And your experiance is a part of the many reasons i won't. I don't want to resent it for marshmellow not being around0 -
I have said goodbye to a lot of pets over the years. None were easy. But the toughest one was the day I held the lead while my first horse was put to sleep. He was 36 years old and had been with me for 22 years. I was 13 when I got him and he was with me through college and marriage and then the death of my husband. It took me quite a while to get over loosing him. But it was his time to go and soon another horse came into my life that I love just as much.
It is okay to be sad at the loss of a pet or person that you love but if your grief is really causing a disturbance in your ability to function i day to day life, you might benefit from getting some grief counseling. And don't listen to anyone who says it was just a bunny or just a dog or whatever. Our pets are part of our family as much as any person. It is perfectly okay to be saddened when they pass on.0 -
shadowfax_c11 wrote: »I have said goodbye to a lot of pets over the years. None were easy. But the toughest one was the day I held the lead while my first horse was put to sleep. He was 36 years old and had been with me for 22 years. I was 13 when I got him and he was with me through college and marriage and then the death of my husband. It took me quite a while to get over loosing him. But it was his time to go and soon another horse came into my life that I love just as much.
It is okay to be sad at the loss of a pet or person that you love but if your grief is really causing a disturbance in your ability to function i day to day life, you might benefit from getting some grief counseling. And don't listen to anyone who says it was just a bunny or just a dog or whatever. Our pets are part of our family as much as any person. It is perfectly okay to be saddened when they pass on.
WOW. Im so sorry for you too! Gosh 22 years is crazy & I love horses they are exceptional animals and would love to own a horse but i don't see it happening and glad to hear of responsible horse and general pet owners.
Yes it is that bad Im afraid. Theres a group that gets together twice a month my husband i will be going to. I feel like counselors won't listen to me. That I'm just talking to help myself. Which thats what it is. but i do expect a person to hear me out. Im worried i guess a may end up with someone who would rather eat food at home than listen to me whining and sobbing. But i just lost my rabbit.
Its not like its been a month and I'm still not functioning. I do see improvements-minor though. I lost him Monday so the grief is very real and alive and very deeply painful. Unbearable pain that i cannot explain. Monday at 3-5 he passed. I felt him last at 5 p m post death just 3 1/2 days ago.
Through my college we are going on a navajo reservation trip for 2 weeks to learn about the navajos way of life and culture in Arizona and in new mexico. We are leaving in 2 weeks so i will be around people and distracted in positive ways. I will have support if i need it I'm sure. I won't force to stop my grieving i feel it will affect me negatively if i force myself to keep things inside.
I will let the trip director know. But to be out in the desert will help me. I won't have to worry about making sure my hubby spending time with him and/or taking meds….but i could cry because i would not have minded that.
Getting his ashes monday.
I want to get a locket to put some in there. haven't decided yet. Or just a picture of him in a locket. Or his picture with some ashes. Idk if i want to divide his ashes now that I'm typing out loud. oh sigh my buddy.
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RedArizona5 wrote: »
I know I will not. I will be stunned if i get a pet and if i am ACTUALLY ready it will not be for year and then it may not be.I'm sorry for your loss.
I have grieved hard when pets have died before. You loved your pet. They were a special part of your life. It takes time just like if a person you loved died.
Someday you will probably have another pet in your life. Don't rush it. I got another cat before I was ready and never really bonded with her because she wasn't my beloved cat. When I waited a few years to get another dog it was easier.
And your experiance is a part of the many reasons i won't. I don't want to resent it for marshmellow not being around
We have 2 dogs, 3 cats and fish right now.
We thought one of the dogs might not make it through the winter. She is 15 years old. It will be really hard when she is gone. When all our pets die off I think we are done having pets. I say that but in reality we are suckers for animals who need homes and it is lonely without pets so we will probably adopt again.
My cat was really old when she died and our new cat was a stray who adopted us that same year. She looks eerily like my first cat... like I thought it was my dead cat the first time I saw her in our yard. She is nice enough and needed a home. We have had her about 12 years now but I have never felt a close relationship to her and I feel bad about that sometimes.
It was about 7 years before I got a dog after my old dog died. I was okay by then and the dog was so different.
My mom made a sweet little scrapbook of my first cat for me. It was nice to have. I still miss her but do think more of the happy times and good memories than feel super hurt thinking about her now that years have gone by.
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My wife stole the cats when she left me put of the blue... I'm getting them back today though.
I know exaxtly how you feel.0 -
I completely understand what you're feeling. My advice: let yourself grieve and sort through this, and when you feel that it's a respectable time (one that doesn't feel like you're replacing your old friend), adopt a new pet. You'd be surprised by what you might discover.
Just over a year ago, I lost my cat Xena to old age. We grew up together, her as a frightened ex-stray and I as a shy little toddler, trying to grasp our new lives. She didn't like most people but became my shadow. My elementary-school career was rougher than most, but she helped me through it, greeting me after every day and comforting me if it had been a bad one. She kept me company through my studies, even the all-day sessions, and the second I felt even a hint of negativity (stress/sadness/etc.), she came to my rescue.
That was my life till halfway through my senior year in high school, when she fell ill during my family's yearly Christmas trip. I wasn't there to comfort her, to repay her for all she'd done, except for the couple days prior to her being put to sleep. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that.
But I went on without her and managed to prevail over what I think was the most trying semester of school I've ever experienced. I graduated and had my eighteenth birthday over summer, right before I was to begin my first semester of college. One of my gifts was a trip to the shelter for a new cat. In a kennel of three kittens I found a little black tom with such intelligence in his eyes that it was clear how bored he was with his rowdy sisters. I adopted him, and on the first night of his stay with us, he exchanged the bed I'd made him for a spot next to me, in my bed. Since then, he's taken on ALL Xena's traits, and while we have a slightly different relationship (given I'm his "mama"), he's everything she was: my shadow, my protector, and my teacher.
I find it funny to think about. Xena entered my life just in time to show me through the toils of growing up. Once I felt I was getting the hang of it, she left me, but now that I'm trying to grasp adulthood, Winston happens to be here, providing me with the same support.
I'm sorry for the long anecdote. All I mean is that a time will come when another friend enters your life and heals the void. It may not be soon, but it will happen, and it will happen on its own. Likewise, it will feel different...but also not different. Personality-wise, Winston is a complete 180 from Xena, but although he's practically the feline equivalent of a germophobic hippie (compared to Xena's being like the grandmother who loves all over you then lashes out with her wooden mixing spoon when you try to sneak a cookie), he reserves part of his love for me and me alone, the part with which I was so used to having before him. Let yourself grieve, and when your new friend joins you on the ride, embrace the change.
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I though if anything maybe a beta fish. Sigh. maybe not. I don't know. Im sorry your not close to your cat as you maybe hope to be. Maybe spending time with it-or do you already?RedArizona5 wrote: »
I know I will not. I will be stunned if i get a pet and if i am ACTUALLY ready it will not be for year and then it may not be.I'm sorry for your loss.
I have grieved hard when pets have died before. You loved your pet. They were a special part of your life. It takes time just like if a person you loved died.
Someday you will probably have another pet in your life. Don't rush it. I got another cat before I was ready and never really bonded with her because she wasn't my beloved cat. When I waited a few years to get another dog it was easier.
And your experiance is a part of the many reasons i won't. I don't want to resent it for marshmellow not being around
We have 2 dogs, 3 cats and fish right now.
We thought one of the dogs might not make it through the winter. She is 15 years old. It will be really hard when she is gone. When all our pets die off I think we are done having pets. I say that but in reality we are suckers for animals who need homes and it is lonely without pets so we will probably adopt again.
My cat was really old when she died and our new cat was a stray who adopted us that same year. She looks eerily like my first cat... like I thought it was my dead cat the first time I saw her in our yard. She is nice enough and needed a home. We have had her about 12 years now but I have never felt a close relationship to her and I feel bad about that sometimes.
It was about 7 years before I got a dog after my old dog died. I was okay by then and the dog was so different.
My mom made a sweet little scrapbook of my first cat for me. It was nice to have. I still miss her but do think more of the happy times and good memories than feel super hurt thinking about her now that years have gone by.
that must pretty sad to see a version of your cat but not your cat so you detached yourself fro it. I think I would due the same thing like oh there my old pet-oh wait its not never mind that sucks i miss my old pet sorry new pet.
or maybe if that happened to me i would pretend it was marshmallow and kind of treat it the same way but because I'm that much denial about his passing. 7 years is long time. But for someone is who isn't interested in kids and loses the best pet ever-and like i mentioned i did have pets but because i could care and fell in love with marshmallow he remained to be number 1 in my life. So i feel pretty loyal to my feelings but as an animal lover i could see myself being suckered into being tempted to get a new one.
I was at the cincinati petting zoo and they had baby bunnies there and I got excited and as i was petting them i thought of marshmallow and then kind felt like i can enjoy them but not to get ideas of replacing him.
And he felt he was being replaced when i rescued a black rabbit named scarlet from the shelter. She was fine and my rabbit and her became buds but i dropped her from 3 feet off the ground by mistake and calmed her and put her in marshmallows cage and she hadn't moved when she normally moves so idk if i just needed to give her time. i took her to the vet and put her down-the vet said that to her the room is spinning and it may or may not cause nausea and treatment was in the hundreds and not guaranteed-i should have maybe put her back in the shelter but why live like that.0 -
That last part forced a little chuckle.TickingPwny wrote: »I
I find it funny to think about. Xena entered my life just in time to show me through the toils of growing up. Once I felt I was getting the hang of it, she left me, but now that I'm trying to grasp adulthood, Winston happens to be here, providing me with the same support.
I'm sorry for the long anecdote. All I mean is that a time will come when another friend enters your life and heals the void. It may not be soon, but it will happen, and it will happen on its own. Likewise, it will feel different...but also not different. Personality-wise, Winston is a complete 180 from Xena, but although he's practically the feline equivalent of a germophobic hippie (compared to Xena's being like the grandmother who loves all over you then lashes out with her wooden mixing spoon when you try to sneak a cookie), he reserves part of his love for me and me alone, the part with which I was so used to having before him. Let yourself grieve, and when your new friend joins you on the ride, embrace the change.
I did wonder about that about marshmallow because i was all alone he was there but now that i have my husband he felt less presence from me and maybe sometimes enjoyed the peaceful moments he got since my mom wasn't around to annoy him and always picking him up he grew up himself and knew he lived long enough to show me lessons too. yea he did teach me stuff. Like love above all else. A good example was when i was constantly grooming his fur on his checks from his weepy eyes (infection plus catarax-now i think of it maybe it was cancer that did THAT too him too) Sorry off focus but i would try to clean his fur up and gently but he would move his head away like stop that, stop grooming me and knit picking over my fur and pet me and enjoy me. As if he was saying i know I'm a mess but i need love right now and am willing to accept your awesome massages despite of my matted fur-i can take the pain from that but not the void i feel from you not petting me -he was a mommas boy-fragile spirit that always wanted my attention and love.
he also taught me how to give the best treats and treats as food instead of healthier food he should have had like crackers and chips versus hay. But i also used reverse psychology on him. He would sometimes not do something i wanted him to do like try a strawberry (least favorite) so i would pull it away from him and he would yank it from me. If i need him to move i would make him stay. but other times he would listen as ordered if he knew i had to give him his eye medicine-strong attitude is what he showed me. the vet was even impressed with his tenacity and patience he was a true example of that-wow0 -
RedArizona5 wrote: »I read EACH n EVERY response. I relate to all of you who mentioned any relation to pets you love or had loved. I could personally hug everyone who has and will reply. I will read these again for comfort when i need too-i will def. need too. I have 3 candles going in his room with his picture. I usually put a votive where i last saw him when before i left for ever that day and i start sobbing when i think of getting his decent sized tarp like pen out of his room-his somewhat dirty bedding is there , his pet toy/friend/comapnion/lover was put by his side and the toy * not moved since the day and and i just don't want to know that i have to rid of it. I don't want to see how the room looks with pen gone-i don't want* that aaaaaack. I don't want anymore pets, i won't. He stole my heart and now broke my heart. I pretend he is still in his pen lots. When we gone for our first walk-my hubby and i we saw extra more rabbits and one so close-closest ever. I lost it then and there saying he is with us in spirit and can feel him ;_________( I want him back so badly.
Hugs-all of you Hugs
I visit his pen and move his bedding around-analizing and think and wishing but also understanding he couldn't be with us forever and we have lots of memories. Just never wanted to let go.
I too have read all the posts, and I am so, so sorry for your loss. That is the one thing about most animals, we humans are cursed in that we often live longer than they do. I have an 8-year old Corgi mix that even last night my husband was looking at her saying he couldn't bear the thought of this dog leaving our lives at some point (we've already had one other dog who lived a long full life with us). Regarding your statement "I don't want anymore pets," yes, I think all of us who have written in and who are reading this have that feeling right when the loss is so acute. But oh, the good times and the love they gave you is so worth it. You wouldn't give up that love and those memories for even the worst of sorrows when they're gone, would you?
In between the tears, when the good memories help you get through your sadness, don't forget that you are obviously a loving, generous, kind, and empathetic pet/animal owner, and it would be a shame to all of us on this earth if you were to close your heart to taking in other animals at some point in the future. This world, and the critters in it, need more people like you.
Take care of yourself and I wish you peace.0 -
Im glad your getting your kitties* back. Although I don't know both sides of the story I am sure now that your aware of how much they mean to you, you will treat them well. Which doesn't imply that you never have.ninjakiwi84 wrote: »My wife stole the cats when she left me put of the blue... I'm getting them back today though.
I know exactly how you feel.
In any case however its good news and am glad to hear that for you. Hug your kitties for me=] I could def. use a hug from a animal right now. particularly my rabbit0 -
Aw that was sweet- i thought that thought just once and then tossed it out. I will reopen that for reconsideration then. Because when its put that way-this world does need love.CarlydogsMom wrote: »RedArizona5 wrote: »I read EACH n EVERY response. I relate to all of you who mentioned any relation to pets you love or had loved. I could personally hug everyone who has and will reply. I will read these again for comfort when i need too-i will def. need too. I have 3 candles going in his room with his picture. I usually put a votive where i last saw him when before i left for ever that day and i start sobbing when i think of getting his decent sized tarp like pen out of his room-his somewhat dirty bedding is there , his pet toy/friend/comapnion/lover was put by his side and the toy * not moved since the day and and i just don't want to know that i have to rid of it. I don't want to see how the room looks with pen gone-i don't want* that aaaaaack. I don't want anymore pets, i won't. He stole my heart and now broke my heart. I pretend he is still in his pen lots. When we gone for our first walk-my hubby and i we saw extra more rabbits and one so close-closest ever. I lost it then and there saying he is with us in spirit and can feel him ;_________( I want him back so badly.
Hugs-all of you Hugs
I visit his pen and move his bedding around-analizing and think and wishing but also understanding he couldn't be with us forever and we have lots of memories. Just never wanted to let go.
I too have read all the posts, and I am so, so sorry for your loss. That is the one thing about most animals, we humans are cursed in that we often live longer than they do. I have an 8-year old Corgi mix that even last night my husband was looking at her saying he couldn't bear the thought of this dog leaving our lives at some point (we've already had one other dog who lived a long full life with us). Regarding your statement "I don't want anymore pets," yes, I think all of us who have written in and who are reading this have that feeling right when the loss is so acute. But oh, the good times and the love they gave you is so worth it. You wouldn't give up that love and those memories for even the worst of sorrows when they're gone, would you?
In between the tears, when the good memories help you get through your sadness, don't forget that you are obviously a loving, generous, kind, and empathetic pet/animal owner, and it would be a shame to all of us on this earth if you were to close your heart to taking in other animals at some point in the future. This world, and the critters in it, need more people like you.
Take care of yourself and I wish you peace.
I would not trade in all the moments to lose the sorrow you are right and i may have thought it would have been worth it but it was just irrationalization I'm experiencing and ager is settling in at times now and just really worried about myself. I haven't worn makeup and don't care for showers will take them to not smell instead of feeling good. just feel like crap. i have small good moments. Doesn't last long. Maybe i will change but gosh. i will alway remember marshmallow in every last moment till the last day of my life. i think of the good times and then cry because even though we had many-it wasn't enough. i wish they could get old as trees0 -
I know exactly what you're going through. I lost one of my beautiful dogs on Friday night and it has absolutely devastated me.
Her name was Smiley, she was a greyhound and 9 and a half years old. We had to have her put to sleep which ripped my heart out. We don't even know what was wrong with her, she was fit as a fiddle then we took her for a dental clean, 3 weeks ago and she was sick ever since. We had been in and out of the vet constantly in the past few weeks, trying to get her better but nothing worked. She had become so ill that she couldn't eat, or drink without vomiting it straight up and that Friday night she was in so much distress, so weak and vomiting blood that I just couldn't let her go through it anymore.
I layed with her when she was passing, kissing her nose and stroking her face and I will never forget that heartbreaking moment. I told her I'll see her in the morning, just like I always did every night.
Smiley had the most scatter brained, sweet and funny personality. She loved cuddles and attention and you could see the love on her face when she got it from you. She would follow me around the house which used to drive me nuts but I'd give anything to hear her scampering claws on the wood floor again now. I still have my other dog which has been a great comfort but it doesn't take away from the pain of losing my girl! He is much calmer and laid back than she was so the house is so quiet! Everything feels wrong! Making dinner for just one dog instead of two, walking just one dog not two, her bed is gone and there's a huge empty space reminding me every time I look over. I miss her greeting me when I get up in the morning and when I come home from work. It's just the most horrible horrible feeling to be forced to go through.
I'm so sorry about your rabbit, I have no advice for you as I'm having the same kind of heartbreak but I really feel for you. Everything you said about those little things that you used to do for/with him , I can totally relate to.
Sending hugs0 -
^^^ crying^^^
Im so sorry but i feel the way you do so I'm in support of you now, everything is so SURREALLLLLL every.thing. from my make up to getting ready to looking for something completely unrelated to him reminds me of HIM.
I to wish i could take more of him shedding-i would not mind it at all.
I saw the lint roller (hubby watched me from the recliner as i was in the kitchen of our apartment) sitting next to the wall on the counter where i was standing and ALL i needed to do before i went off crying was i took it and helt it to my lips the handle and the sticky part and said i will never need to use these as much now and bawled because i had to have so many of them and complained about it and and i will miss that awfulness but now what could be great if i could relive that moment.
Im sorry you had to go through that with her. Its how i imagined my last moment but i couldn't even be there for him when he was scared he was *sniff*sniff*
um i wonder if your greyhound contracted an infectious bacteria from the offices tools? not properly cleaned? i would look into that or did you have a biopsy?
***I re-read your response to my husband as well as carly dogs mom's last response without containing myself. My voice shook throughout the text. And tears fell when I finished.
dammit marshmallow ;\ I must remember him through good times* and, through good times he will remain alive and as our heavenly father said that death has lost and love has won
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RedArizona5 wrote: »I want to get a locket to put some in there. haven't decided yet. Or just a picture of him in a locket. Or his picture with some ashes. Idk if i want to divide his ashes now that I'm typing out loud. oh sigh my buddy.
You might like to look into Raku pottery. It is a process where they take the hair and place it on the pottery when it goes into the kiln. The hair becomes a part of the pottery and leaves beautiful dark patterns on the pale colored pottery. A friend of mine had a raku picture frame made with some of my old horse's tail hair.0 -
I've lost many a fur baby.
it sucks.
really really sucks.0 -
i'm so sorry for your loss... i understand how painful it is to lose a fur baby as i lost my kitty baby this February. it took me a week to stop crying over his passing and another three to get back into a workout routine again. even now i still think of him. and occasionally i still cry. but, i know he's not in pain and is in a better place. just hang in there and time will ease the pain for you. much love and hugs to you...0
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shadowfax_c11 wrote: »RedArizona5 wrote: »I want to get a locket to put some in there. haven't decided yet. Or just a picture of him in a locket. Or his picture with some ashes. Idk if i want to divide his ashes now that I'm typing out loud. oh sigh my buddy.
You might like to look into Raku pottery. It is a process where they take the hair and place it on the pottery when it goes into the kiln. The hair becomes a part of the pottery and leaves beautiful dark patterns on the pale colored pottery. A friend of mine had a rake picture frame made with some of my old horse's tail hair.
It is funny you mentioned that B/C I was mad at myself for not clipping some off of him before sending him to be autopsy an straight to cremation.
Maybe I can search for some but only hear i may find is the white fuzzes from his awesome cotton tail or user coat.
Thats such a brilliant idea though will reconsider getting a pet maybe way down the road when my mom gets very old so i can have a furry critter to help cope with HER death -that will be difficult but the funeral gives closure where my buddy can i mean have a funeral -a personal one one but its not the same…anyways…good idea!0 -
I lost my best friend Clyde (put him in my profile pic so you can see him) a little over two years ago. We were joined at the hip for 17+ years, since he was a teeny baby in a barn. He was perfect in every way and loved me completely. When he was really little he used to come in the shower with me, then when he got old I kept the litterbox next to the toilet and he used to poop whenever I did. He fetched balls and he loved dogs and he also faked having a sore leg once to get sympathy from me.
It's still hard - I have not been able to get another pet so far - but time does ease the pain. I remember at first every time I walked in the door and he wasn't there I broke down completely. This is the price we pay for real love.
I'm really sorry that you lost Marshmallow. I'm really happy for him that he was so well loved and cherished during his life.0 -
oh def. yea it does. and so hurt we all had to go through this. Before when someone said they lost an animal i felt sad of them but didn't know and tried to feel what they felt and could not. Now, well now do I know nowcallsitlikeiseeit wrote: »I've lost many a fur baby.
it sucks.
really really sucks.0 -
We had to put our family dog, Jemima, down about a month ago. We got her for free off the side of the road when we were kids as a tiny puppy in Guanajuato, Mexico 17 years ago, and she became a member of the family.
She was obviously really old, and had been declining in health for some time, (we knew she had cancer, but operating would have only bought her a little time as she was so old) but it was still so much harder to say goodbye than I thought it would be, even though we all had ample time to prepare.
A vet made a house call for us, and all of us were able to be there and gather around her doggy bed and pet her. I held her head in my lap and told her to go to sleep as she got the injection. You think you're ready, and you never really are. It destroyed us all, all grown adults with our own families, even my 65 year old parents were sobbing. My dad made her a little wooden casket in the garage that night, and the next day we all met again to bury her in the backyard. The grandkids lost it when they saw us lower her into the ground. It's still hard to remind myself that she won't be there to greet us at the door when I go to my mom's house. The sweetest little dog ever. Did we ever love her. Damn it, now I'm crying again.
The best comfort is reminding yourself what you did to make your pet's life happy. If you know you did right for your little bunny, or dog, or cat, and that you gave them a good life, it eases the pain a lot. I know we gave our Jemima a long and extremely lucky and happy life, and in the end isn't that all you can do for an animal you love?
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