I hate men....

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  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    CrabNebula wrote: »
    Actually I am more annoyed by the fact that my husband could lose the 20-25lbs he needs to just by cutting back to around 2200 a day for a few months, but chooses not to. 2200 is a good amount of food and his maintenance at goal would be around 2700. Somehow that is just too hard for some reason. :weary:

    It's a good amount of food for you...that is the entire point. You all are acting like because 2200 or 2300 would be a good amount of food for you that we would be equally satisfied. Believe me...when you eat 3000 calories per day to maintain weight, you feel it big time when you'r ONLY eating 2200 or 2300 or even 2500.

    This. I'm regularly trying to eat under 1800- and it feels impossible to me. It's sad. But it is what it is- and yeah I get it listening to guys at my gym complain about cutting on 3000 calories a day - it's hard- but for my friend gregg- he's like 5'9" and he's as wide as he is tall in muscle- 3000 calories a day is peanuts for him.

    makes me sad- but I know for him that's not much at all.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    kmsoucy457 wrote: »
    Lounmoun wrote: »
    On the positive side, it takes less food/fuel for me to exist and be healthy than a larger person with a similar activity level. I can eat between 1200 and 1500 calories and be pretty satisfied and they can't. It isn't their fault. They were born to be bigger than me. I try not to make them feel bad about it. ;)

    That is a lovely silver lining. I mentioned that my SO has trouble eating enough food to maintain his weight, let alone gain as is his goal. And sometimes I actually feel encouraged towards my personal goal when I see that the food on my plate is going to fill me up, when double that amount on his plate probably won't quite do the trick for him. Also I imagine it gets tedious HAVING to eat so much food ALL of the time.

    I think it would be tedious too... and cost more.
    I choose to look at the benefits to being a shorter person.
  • Hausisse1
    Hausisse1 Posts: 165 Member
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    Um, I don't really feel that way... like, I feel satisfied with the amount of food that I need to eat because I'm a smaller person the same way my male friends feel satisfied with the amount of food they have to eat because they're men and are in need of more food. I'm not hungry any more often than they are! Haha.

    Besides, having to eat more food means having to spend more money on more food!
  • Hausisse1
    Hausisse1 Posts: 165 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »

    It's all relative...I can cut on 2300 calories per day too...and it pretty much sucks...because for me, 2300 calories isn't a lot of food and while I'm certainly not starving, I'm not exactly satisfied at that intake either.

    This.

    I'm a taller girl so I need around 2500 to maintain. I can lose eating around 2000 cals but there is still a deficit of 500 cals and my body certainly feels it. 2000 cals may seem like a lot of food to the OP, but I have more mass to carry around, so for me, it is not.

    Exactly! Because of my size I eat around 1,700 calories to maintain, but I'm not jealous of folks who need to eat more because, well, it's all relative... I just don't need as much energy as you and would not enjoy eating 2,000 calories of healthy, filling food every day.
  • isulo_kura
    isulo_kura Posts: 818 Member
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    I wonder what would happen if I started a thread saying 'I Hate Women?'. I'm sure it would rightfully get pulled. So why is this title acceptable?
  • teaflowermfp
    teaflowermfp Posts: 5 Member
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    Umm, yes. My boyfriend is 21 years old. He used to be really into swimming back in high school. He was captain, he still holds a record he broke back in 9th grade, so yeah. You get the idea. He was really athletic. He's still riding off that metabolism although his physique isn't muscular anymore, he's still lean.

    Here I am, trying so hard to eat healthy while he's eating taco bell, Domino's Pizzas, Chinese takeout, mountain dew, anything he wants.

    But, there is a bit of a different side to this. Sure, he can have all those yummy things I tell myself I can't, but I'm able to tell myself no.

    We all have our own issues, even if it looks fantastic from our viewpoint. He tells me he's jealous that I can just pass up doritos without thinking twice. Apparently he's a foodie xD
  • PowerKickChic
    PowerKickChic Posts: 108 Member
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    First thing, Your not obese, your 122lbs which is great and you should be proud of that. I calculated your TDEE and its 1660 (That is the amount of food you can eat to maintain your weight). Any exercise deficit or calorie deficit will make you lose buuuut it takes -3500 calories to lose a pound of fat. If you burn 300 calories 5 days a week it will take 2 weeks and 2 days to lose a pound.

    Men have are more muscular than us so they burn more calories, its just the way it is. It sucks but you cant change it and trust me I have fallen into the trap of eating like a man hehe

    I have also calculated your BMI and your at 22-23 which is normal and really really good for your age. If you go down to 114 (your goal) it is only 2.3 points away from being underweight. There is no reason for you to be starving yourself at night to lose weight. If anything you should be maintaining. 1660 cals a day isn't bad at all and if you exercise you can eat more.

    http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm
    http://www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html
  • rosebette
    rosebette Posts: 1,660 Member
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    First thing, Your not obese, your 122lbs which is great and you should be proud of that. I calculated your TDEE and its 1660 (That is the amount of food you can eat to maintain your weight). Any exercise deficit or calorie deficit will make you lose buuuut it takes -3500 calories to lose a pound of fat. If you burn 300 calories 5 days a week it will take 2 weeks and 2 days to lose a pound.

    Men have are more muscular than us so they burn more calories, its just the way it is. It sucks but you cant change it and trust me I have fallen into the trap of eating like a man hehe

    I have also calculated your BMI and your at 22-23 which is normal and really really good for your age. If you go down to 114 (your goal) it is only 2.3 points away from being underweight. There is no reason for you to be starving yourself at night to lose weight. If anything you should be maintaining. 1660 cals a day isn't bad at all and if you exercise you can eat more.

    http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm
    http://www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html

    Thanks for your positive feedback. I know I'm not obese, but I have to eat very little to keep from becoming that way. I also have high cholesterol and 31% body fat, and when I started at 126, it was recommended that I lose 10% of my bodyweight to keep it under control, which would bring me to 114, still a healthy BMI of 21.5. I also use a FitBit HR which measures my burn all day. On a heavy exercise day (zumba, kickboxing, etc.) I might use 1600+. Most days, I use between 1300-1400. (I've actually been plateau'd for a while.) I'm just an older, smaller person with a low metabolism. And I don't really "hate men" just how much they get to eat!
  • pcrucifer
    pcrucifer Posts: 71 Member
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    I am that guy. After my 12 mile run last week, MFP set my goal at 4000. Base is 2300 and I burned 1700. So yes, it is unfair that I get to eat ice cream. But I have no control over my metabolism or height. And I am eating at a deficit; I am as hungry as someone else eating at a deficit. It does not make the journey pleasant. Again, it is not fair, because I can eat more. But I still get just as hungry, just as tempted, and need just as much support on my journey as a petite female.
  • mwyvr
    mwyvr Posts: 1,883 Member
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    I'm a software guy - sedentary job. If I don't run 35km a week I turn into a blimp and I have the photos to prove it.

    Don't hate us. :smile:
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
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    kmsoucy457 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    kmsoucy457 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    kmsoucy457 wrote: »
    But it's relative. A deficit is a deficit. A deficit puts your body under stress because you are eating less than you should to maintain. No matter what size you are, it's the same relative amount of food.

    As a short woman who has never been more than a little overweight I beg to differ. I get 1200 calories per day (without exercise) to lose less than 1lb per week. I can easily house that in one meal at a restaurant or family gathering, especially if alcohol or other tasty beverages are involved. My solution is eating back exercise calories, otherwise I would be perpetually hungry. I also drink a LOT of water, as in I stop counting at 9-10 glasses; it helps!

    So OP I feel your pain. It is very difficult not to compare and get jealous while sitting at the same table as your SO. Mine isn't exceptionally tall (5'9"), but is rather muscle-y and has an extremely active job, so has trouble eating enough to maintain his weight. I comfort myself with the fact that, while his woes may not be the same as mine, he still has his own :)

    I think you missed the point...

    Have I? I understand that lack of satiety is to be expected when eating at a deficit, for anyone of any size and proportional calorie allotment. The human body isn't designed to "want" to lose weight (an opinion based on my belief that we are still hardwired to the feast and famine cycles of our caveman days, again just my own opinion), so we shouldI feel some discomfort during weight loss (though not everyone does). That is the point you are making? If so a more than valid point. If not do correct me (I do not say that sarcastically).
    But -stay with me here, i know i'm reaching- with small variation a short person has about the same size mouth as a tall person (or rather height makes a small enough difference in determining such a thing). We can take roughly the same size bite out of the same size food item, so given that we chew, swallow and continue to consume at the same rate, we will eat the same amount of food in the same amount of time. Apply this theory to the following example: We go into a bakery and each buy a croissant. I am typically not able to buy a smaller pastry of the same exact variety to account for my smaller calorie allotment, so our croissants are about the same size. You eat that croissant and have consumed 10%? of your calories for the day. If I do this, i'll be consuming 20% of my calories. Now I have to decide between cutting that croissant in half and staring at you hangrily with resentment as you eat yours (which I believe is the feeling that the OP was attempting to convey), choosing another item, exercising more, or sacrificing the selections and portions of other meals for that day. People come in so many lovely shapes and sizes, but unfortunately portion sizes do not. A serving is a standard measurement which doesn't vary until we adjust it for our individual needs.
    So while weight loss for a person of any size most definitely takes the same amount of effort and willpower, there is an extra dimension which an individual with a smaller caloric allotment must consider. And that can be stressful. I've never been significantly bigger, and will never be taller, so would never assume that this makes weight loss more difficult for short people. I would actually guess on a solid NO since, in the end, we are all aiming for a % loss overall. But when a pound is a pound, and you see someone lose 2lbs when you lose 1lb, after watching them eat almost twice as much as you, it can on occasion feelI like it's more difficult. Perception.

    sincere apologies for the long-winded answer

    You may use up a greater % of your calories....but I probably would too because there's no way that one croissant is going to make me satisfied in the least.

    So my wife and I go into a cafe...she gets a croissant and a coffee...I get a croissant with cheese and ham and a coffee...we've both used up about an equal % of our calories. She's satiated after having consumed her croisant...I wouldn't be...that's why I need the ham and cheese.

    As stated..it's all relative.

    Then I would be jealous because you get ham and cheese and I don't, just as I would feel jealous if you got to take more bites of something than I did. Adding more/different food to the scenario doesn't change the outcome. Like your wife, I would also be satisfied by a croissant and coffee, but it wouldn't stop me from wanting more food, or equal the food of my dining compatriot (read: most Americans at Thanksgiving). No science behind that, I'm afraid :/

    As I implied, you make perfect sense from a factual, logical standpoint. Which ought to be the basis for all determinations. Props. I am adding the dimension of what it can FEEL like, which cannot be quantified, only qualified.

    I'm not trying to argue with you, especially since we agree on all of the facts, but this is a very clear complaint among people with smaller caloric allotments. I was merely attempting to reason out the feeling behind the perceived injustice so that you would be able to empathize. I neither suggest or endorse sympathy for what is admittedly jealousy; I'm not saying that I am right in feeling the way I do, merely that it is indeed a very real feeling, and one which many in my boat seem to share. Your original comment just seemed to dismiss that 'human element', which is why I quoted it and added my 2cents.

    Indeed. These are our actual experiences and there is no point in others attempting to erase them by claiming they are not logical. It's not ABOUT logic. These experiences can't be reasoned or rationalized away. Saying we "should" not feel this way, or that our perspective is unimportant because we must be "doing it wrong" (which is a guess at best) changes nothing. This is how we feel, with very small calorie allotments, living beside those who eat twice what we do.
  • rosebette
    rosebette Posts: 1,660 Member
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    mwyvr wrote: »
    I'm a software guy - sedentary job. If I don't run 35km a week I turn into a blimp and I have the photos to prove it.

    Don't hate us. :smile:
    Oh no, did my husband just join MFP! You're him, without the 35 km a week.
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
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    gothchiq wrote: »
    kmsoucy457 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    kmsoucy457 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    kmsoucy457 wrote: »
    But it's relative. A deficit is a deficit. A deficit puts your body under stress because you are eating less than you should to maintain. No matter what size you are, it's the same relative amount of food.

    As a short woman who has never been more than a little overweight I beg to differ. I get 1200 calories per day (without exercise) to lose less than 1lb per week. I can easily house that in one meal at a restaurant or family gathering, especially if alcohol or other tasty beverages are involved. My solution is eating back exercise calories, otherwise I would be perpetually hungry. I also drink a LOT of water, as in I stop counting at 9-10 glasses; it helps!

    So OP I feel your pain. It is very difficult not to compare and get jealous while sitting at the same table as your SO. Mine isn't exceptionally tall (5'9"), but is rather muscle-y and has an extremely active job, so has trouble eating enough to maintain his weight. I comfort myself with the fact that, while his woes may not be the same as mine, he still has his own :)

    I think you missed the point...

    Have I? I understand that lack of satiety is to be expected when eating at a deficit, for anyone of any size and proportional calorie allotment. The human body isn't designed to "want" to lose weight (an opinion based on my belief that we are still hardwired to the feast and famine cycles of our caveman days, again just my own opinion), so we shouldI feel some discomfort during weight loss (though not everyone does). That is the point you are making? If so a more than valid point. If not do correct me (I do not say that sarcastically).
    But -stay with me here, i know i'm reaching- with small variation a short person has about the same size mouth as a tall person (or rather height makes a small enough difference in determining such a thing). We can take roughly the same size bite out of the same size food item, so given that we chew, swallow and continue to consume at the same rate, we will eat the same amount of food in the same amount of time. Apply this theory to the following example: We go into a bakery and each buy a croissant. I am typically not able to buy a smaller pastry of the same exact variety to account for my smaller calorie allotment, so our croissants are about the same size. You eat that croissant and have consumed 10%? of your calories for the day. If I do this, i'll be consuming 20% of my calories. Now I have to decide between cutting that croissant in half and staring at you hangrily with resentment as you eat yours (which I believe is the feeling that the OP was attempting to convey), choosing another item, exercising more, or sacrificing the selections and portions of other meals for that day. People come in so many lovely shapes and sizes, but unfortunately portion sizes do not. A serving is a standard measurement which doesn't vary until we adjust it for our individual needs.
    So while weight loss for a person of any size most definitely takes the same amount of effort and willpower, there is an extra dimension which an individual with a smaller caloric allotment must consider. And that can be stressful. I've never been significantly bigger, and will never be taller, so would never assume that this makes weight loss more difficult for short people. I would actually guess on a solid NO since, in the end, we are all aiming for a % loss overall. But when a pound is a pound, and you see someone lose 2lbs when you lose 1lb, after watching them eat almost twice as much as you, it can on occasion feelI like it's more difficult. Perception.

    sincere apologies for the long-winded answer

    You may use up a greater % of your calories....but I probably would too because there's no way that one croissant is going to make me satisfied in the least.

    So my wife and I go into a cafe...she gets a croissant and a coffee...I get a croissant with cheese and ham and a coffee...we've both used up about an equal % of our calories. She's satiated after having consumed her croisant...I wouldn't be...that's why I need the ham and cheese.

    As stated..it's all relative.

    Then I would be jealous because you get ham and cheese and I don't, just as I would feel jealous if you got to take more bites of something than I did. Adding more/different food to the scenario doesn't change the outcome. Like your wife, I would also be satisfied by a croissant and coffee, but it wouldn't stop me from wanting more food, or equal the food of my dining compatriot (read: most Americans at Thanksgiving). No science behind that, I'm afraid :/

    As I implied, you make perfect sense from a factual, logical standpoint. Which ought to be the basis for all determinations. Props. I am adding the dimension of what it can FEEL like, which cannot be quantified, only qualified.

    I'm not trying to argue with you, especially since we agree on all of the facts, but this is a very clear complaint among people with smaller caloric allotments. I was merely attempting to reason out the feeling behind the perceived injustice so that you would be able to empathize. I neither suggest or endorse sympathy for what is admittedly jealousy; I'm not saying that I am right in feeling the way I do, merely that it is indeed a very real feeling, and one which many in my boat seem to share. Your original comment just seemed to dismiss that 'human element', which is why I quoted it and added my 2cents.

    Indeed. These are our actual experiences and there is no point in others attempting to erase them by claiming they are not logical. It's not ABOUT logic. These experiences can't be reasoned or rationalized away. Saying we "should" not feel this way, or that our perspective is unimportant because we must be "doing it wrong" (which is a guess at best) changes nothing. This is how we feel, with very small calorie allotments, living beside those who eat twice what we do.


    But the point is that even people with larger calorie allowances would in many cases like to be able to eat more. The men the OP is hating on with their 3000 calories goals will in many cases be jealous of someone else with a 3500-4000 calorie goal. I maintain on 2500 calories but I could happily eat 3000 calories per day. What OP is feeling is not just something someone with a small calorie goal experiences, it's a feeling anyone can experience regardless of their calorie budget.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    This thread is so sad. Smh
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    randomtai wrote: »
    This thread is so sad. Smh

    Yep.

    TAOLife-Comarison-is-the-thief-of-joy.jpg
  • PearlAng
    PearlAng Posts: 681 Member
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    I know what it is to be tiny :/ I'm 4'9. But like others have mention, we require less. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy myself. I make choices based on my needs and desires and it's been working well for me. Also, exercise is key. Exercise usually puts me under maintenance during the week and at maintenance, but usually more on the weekends. The deficit during the week is usually wiped out on the weekend so I maintain, if not, just lose slowly. I don't particularly mind because I'm looking to maintain.

    But OP, you said that you eat small, nutrient dense meals but you're hungry and that you have to eat this way to prevent obesity. It seems you're already getting close to a maintenance weight, so maybe you should try to lose slower? Also, eating at maintenance or below will ensure that you maintain/lose your weight. It doesn't necessary matter where the calories come from, as long as you meet those numbers. Of course, choosing vegetables and other nutrient dense foods are good calorie and micronutrient-wise, but that doesn't mean it's all you have to eat to lose weight.

    Also, I know personally that if I eat a nice meal with a good balance, I'm satisfied for hours. Even if it means going with a higher calorie option. I eat a bagel with cream cheese, cucumbers, tomatoes and ~3 strips of bacon 2-3 times a week in the morning. This is a higher calorie option than some of my other breakfast options throughout the week, but it keeps me satisfied for hours and I don't even think about food.

    Like others have said, the low calories thing appears to be sucky, but in a way it's good because it means you're healthy and can sustain yourself on less than an obese person needs.
  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 909 Member
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    isulo_kura wrote: »
    I wonder what would happen if I started a thread saying 'I Hate Women?'. I'm sure it would rightfully get pulled. So why is this title acceptable?

    I was thinking the same exact thing.
  • faidwen
    faidwen Posts: 131 Member
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    Whaaaaa I wish this was me. I eat sub 1500, but I am HAPPY!
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,483 Member
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    Umm, yes. My boyfriend is 21 years old. He used to be really into swimming back in high school. He was captain, he still holds a record he broke back in 9th grade, so yeah. You get the idea. He was really athletic. He's still riding off that metabolism although his physique isn't muscular anymore, he's still lean.

    Here I am, trying so hard to eat healthy while he's eating taco bell, Domino's Pizzas, Chinese takeout, mountain dew, anything he wants.

    But, there is a bit of a different side to this. Sure, he can have all those yummy things I tell myself I can't, but I'm able to tell myself no.

    We all have our own issues, even if it looks fantastic from our viewpoint. He tells me he's jealous that I can just pass up doritos without thinking twice. Apparently he's a foodie xD

    Those two words do not compute together.

  • RedArizona5
    RedArizona5 Posts: 465 Member
    edited May 2015
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    I can even out the playing field here and will if it will help a little.
    I am way under my high school weight….eat what i want and when i want and can gain 10 pounds-still look pretty decent and STILL around high school weight and won't look hot in a bikini but very curvy and good (curvy in a good way not curvy I'm trying to sound hot but i have love handles up the yin-yang curvy) the real curvy ok?
    Hubby walks cuts ice cream and soda out and eats what he is allowed and isn't over weight but has a belly.
    I will forever look hotter than my hubby and i eat way better and MORE and more caloric denser foods than he.
    But he is tall dark and handsome of the sort so we actually tie-his looks make up for his belly and he has a belly I mean the front shirt lifts a little on a bad day but his height helps him with just not by much (poor baby:)). he got honked at twice the other day. But he thinks he is not sexy-pfft

    I do need to start a thread how he can get rid of his belly though. he has this beer gut that is not from beer and everything else is normal-his face could be a little smaller but he cannot run due to knee joints issues. i tell him he needs to do push ups and sit-ups and lift but he admits he's lazy. (at least he is honest with himself)

    I def. can out eat him and rock a bikini-i do envy his back thighs and booty has not one ounce of cellulite and me well the little ones I'm covered in those in the back-if I'm in natural light I* look normal but if I'm in bad over head lighting in shorts watch out people i have waves on me ;]