Open relationships. Your take... (Married/non-married)

LesieliSky
LesieliSky Posts: 26 Member
edited November 17 in Chit-Chat
I'm considering this for a number of reasons.
«1

Replies

  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
    If both parties are accepting of it, then go for it. it wont make you any less commited to your partner. make sure you have rules of engagement on the table first.
  • iamangrydoug
    iamangrydoug Posts: 1,020 Member
    Whatever works for consenting adults is just fine with me.
  • ladykate26
    ladykate26 Posts: 1,134 Member
    I am far too jealous to even consider it and if my partner suggested it we would be over.
  • Praying_Mantis
    Praying_Mantis Posts: 239 Member
    Isn't that called dating? For me, would consider if single. Would not consider if married.



    Though like other replies - if agreed upon between both consenting adults, why not.

  • aaronff63
    aaronff63 Posts: 54 Member
    My wife (of 13 years) and I kicked this idea around for the last year or so. But I'm not so sure either one of us would be able to go through with it without jealousy causing a divorce. Some couples pull it off. Does your other half know you are considering it?
  • BlueSkiesSway
    BlueSkiesSway Posts: 55 Member
    edited May 2015
    I know some people that make it work and it strengthened their marriage. They said it's all about trust and communication.
  • NJbabe
    NJbabe Posts: 113 Member
    edited May 2015
    I'm married. I'm not sure this would work for my husband and me. We've discussed it when we were younger and before we got married... more as a joke than anything else. Neither of us is "the jealous kind." But it's most likely not something we'd explore.

    But if it works for 2 people and they agree on the "rules", hey, by all means - go for it.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    Ugh...one boyfriend is more than enough, why torture yourself with more?
  • MuchAdoAboutMuffin
    MuchAdoAboutMuffin Posts: 72 Member
    Praying_Mantis wrote: »
    Isn't that called dating? For me, would consider if single. Would not consider if married.



    Though like other replies - if agreed upon between both consenting adults, why not.
    Dating... Is this the category where boyfriend and girlfriend labels live? If so sweet!
  • ginny92802
    ginny92802 Posts: 66 Member
    I know some people who did it for a limited period of time and it made their relationship better. You definitely have to be able to trust your partner, though.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    Just consider that one party may find someone while the other may not.

    How would you feel if your partner was out having fun with someone while you sat at home?

    Not saying that would happen, but it's something to consider.

    It can work for some. Not for me.
  • yelliezx
    yelliezx Posts: 633 Member
    No way! I'm never sharing my boyfriend! Why would I bother with others when I already have somebody perfect for me?
  • BuckyArden33
    BuckyArden33 Posts: 146 Member
    each to there own i guess but i personally wouldn't be accepting it
  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,008 Member
    I've done it, and I've been a party to other open relationships. It can definitely work so long as both parties in the primary relationship are 100% on board. There's actually a ton of rules involved (usually), that require check-ins, for the SO to approve or sometimes get to know the other party, and you always come back home to your Primary Relationship and don't use other people to fill an emotional need that you're not getting in the Primary.

    It's simply about sex, and for some people it's a safe way to explore desires and attractions outside of the primary relationship. Some people feels it actually deepens trust. I've known several successful relationships that work this way.

    That being said, it isn't for everyone. I totally get why some people wouldn't go for it, but I wouldn't immediately knock it.
  • RebeccaChemmy
    RebeccaChemmy Posts: 66 Member
    Boyfriend and I have considered this. We're in a long distance relationship so I think that's a factor... Threesomes, etc are goooooooood though! :naughty:
  • tiffanybrooks530
    tiffanybrooks530 Posts: 140 Member
    edited May 2015
    with ex he pushed the issue and looking back I see it was a cover up for deeper issues... now I have a new boo (now married) only mentioned it while dating (as a way to make sure you are ready to be in a committed relationship, no judgement if you want to see others go ahead)- so no I would not bring an "open" arrangement into my marriage-for a number of reasons. But one thing we talked about (in passing) was a vacation from each other (no questions asked - unlike a hall pass- it's not sexually motivated) it's a get away from everything work, family, each other ...
  • RebeccaChemmy
    RebeccaChemmy Posts: 66 Member
    MilicaX wrote: »
    RebeccaChemmy wrote: »
    Boyfriend and I have considered this. We're in a long distance relationship so I think that's a factor... Threesomes, etc are goooooooood though! :naughty:

    Wanna have a threesome or foursome with my boy and me? :P

    Sure thing! ;)

    Your first post on here did make me chuckle.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • alyci
    alyci Posts: 50 Member
    I have an open relationship with my husband. I am the only one currently involved with anyone else right now and it does take a lot of communication to make sure everyone feels like they are getting enough time and attention.
  • Gabrielm80
    Gabrielm80 Posts: 1,458 Member
    edited May 2015
    LesieliSky wrote: »
    I'm considering this for a number of reasons.

    Both have to be honest with each other. Have you ever been jealous before, had your partner ever become Jealous before, because the ability of reasoning in open relationship doesn't always make that go away. Often it quietly builds and eats away at the relationship. It's far easier to enter an open relationship than build on an existing. It's not impossible but the people I know have never got it to work. Usually one person is fine until one feels left out of flirting and feels replaced. It doesn't fix failing relationships and doesn't fix a dishonest partner. If they are a cheater in a tradition relationship they will be the same person in an open relationship. Step into one foot at a time, and good luck.
  • justjack18
    justjack18 Posts: 720 Member
    If both people agree to it then why not. I have friends who do this. Wouldn't work for me though.
  • RebeccaChemmy
    RebeccaChemmy Posts: 66 Member
    MilicaX wrote: »
    :p Whaha, where do we meet?

    Ahahaha! We'll I'm chillin' in the UK right now. :p
  • kickassbarbie
    kickassbarbie Posts: 286 Member
    Hmm.. I have mixed views on this.

    Whatever works for the couple involved.

    I did this and it worked brilliantly for a couple of years, then I realised I wanted to do the whole monogamous raising a family with a little picket fence thing. Once you've done an open relationship with someone it's hard to close it again fully without always wondering if the other wishes it back the way it was. (Many other reasons this relationship ended badly but I think trying to close what was once open was the starting point.)
  • bryantparson
    bryantparson Posts: 516 Member
    It's probably difficult for most but works for some. I think serial monogamy is probably more reasonable.
  • needernt
    needernt Posts: 675 Member
    I don't have even one :/ let alone 2
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
    From what I gather, it takes A LOT of trust to pull this off. You also should set down some ground rules so you know what you and your partner are comfortable with, such as stating whether or not friends are off limits (I know someone in an open relationship who had this issue come up).
  • blueyellowhorse
    blueyellowhorse Posts: 708 Member
    I don't have an opinion on them. For others, whatever works for them. For myself, I don't know how I feel about them. I've never been in a relationship before, so I don't know if I would get jealous or not. I guess I'll have to see.
  • ladykate26
    ladykate26 Posts: 1,134 Member
    If you love your oa
    bryantparson wrote: »
    It's probably difficult for most but works for some. I think serial monogamy is probably more reasonable.
    Hear, hear! I believe monogamy is underrated these days.
  • needernt
    needernt Posts: 675 Member
    edited May 2015
    I was thinking if I started this thread wouldn't majority of women and some of men attack me and tell me off?

    You know, I had such an experience before. I don't know why if a man bring up such an issue he is mean and immoral but if a woman raise it, it's just natural and everyone seem OK with it.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    If I don't have feelings for someone then I can share, if I have feelings I can't. However I've dated girls who slept with other girls while we were together. But I never considered our relationship open.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories