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  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    mcornall88 wrote: »
    justinegibbons wrote: »
    I don't agree with blowing her off or making her chase you.. We are adults. Just be straight forward with her. Explain to her what you're saying here.. You like her, enjoy spending time with her and understand that she's not ready to get back in to another relationship but you want to make sure your efforts aren't in vain. No need to play games.

    I would do this, but she is TERRIBLE at talking about emotions lol it makes her crumple into a ball of awkward, though one time we went out and had more than a few drinks she was able to open up and was really sweet.

    Uh Oh. I heard all this before. As in exactly what I am in right now but like poster said above Tell her how you feel man. I don't understand how some women can't express themselves but it is what it is.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
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    Lrdoflamancha wrote: »
    Back off a bit. I think you are too available... Let her miss you. If she pursues or does not, then you have your answer.

    ^^This^^
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
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    _incogNEATo_ wrote: »
    The most important question is, why did your other girlfriends break up with you?

    Why the flag? I'm trying to help OP get to the bottom of the issue.
  • magneticreikipaul
    magneticreikipaul Posts: 61 Member
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    stop being her tampax man up ffs
  • jazzine1
    jazzine1 Posts: 280 Member
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    Sometimes its just great sex, lots of great sex. :D I usually tell a guy I don't want a relationship when I truly don't want to be exclusive, I want to leave my options open. BUT that doesn't mean I don't enjoy his company and being pampered, hugged, kissed. I can like a guy but yet not want a relationship with him. A woman knows when she falls deep for a guy and when she does she wont hesitate to be official.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    Sounds like a friend with benefits. I dont know...I think you could do both. Stop seeing her as much - and when she asks why, be up front and honest and ask her to *kitten* or get off the pot!
  • _incogNEATo_
    _incogNEATo_ Posts: 4,537 Member
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    dakotababy wrote: »
    Sounds like a friend with benefits. I dont know...I think you could do both. Stop seeing her as much - and when she asks why, be up front and honest and ask her to *kitten* or get off the pot!

    Assuming she's into that kind of stuff??
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
    edited May 2015
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    jazzine1 wrote: »
    Sometimes its just great sex, lots of great sex. :D I usually tell a guy I don't want a relationship when I truly don't want to be exclusive, I want to leave my options open. BUT that doesn't mean I don't enjoy his company and being pampered, hugged, kissed. I can like a guy but yet not want a relationship with him. A woman knows when she falls deep for a guy and when she does she wont hesitate to be official.

    Yep. This. She doesn't want a relationship with you, just wants to *kitten* and have someone to cuddle with. I had cuddle buddies when I was single. Guy friends that would cuddle, sometimes we had sex and they always spent the night, but we were most definitely not dating exclusively in any way shape or form in my opinion.

    And you could not see her as often and she will probably ask you why and miss you. But it's probably because she got lonely and noticed you were missing........ from my perspective, you are a cuddle buddy....
  • Sweetiepiestef
    Sweetiepiestef Posts: 344 Member
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    kinkyslinky16 wrote: »
    mcornall88 wrote: »
    aaronff63 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Lrdoflamancha wrote: »
    Back off a bit. I think you are too available... Let her miss you. If she pursues or does not, then you have your answer.

    This

    What they said. Your in super friend zone. I've been there before. Not a good place.

    I'm not sure if I didn't explain this right, definitely not in friend zone, we have sex, a lot.

    I had a lot of sex with my friends, too. Sorry, I think you are friend zoned. I told a guy I was semi dating that I didn't want a relationship either, but once I met my husband I did. I told the guy I was semi dating that I found someone. He was like what the *kitten* I thought you didn't want a relationship. I said I didn't... but that was a relationship with you. Sorry, I'm sure it sucks :'(

    I hate to admit it but I did the exact same thing. Like to the "T". I hope the circumstances are different for you since you really seem to like this girl and who knows maybe she will change her mind if you ever try to move on or you can do as the others say and just not be so available. If you let her go and she comes back you will know...
  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
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    She doesn't want to commit because being single does have an allure to some woman and she probably doesn't want to settle after being a long term relationship. Like other posters say, blow her off and see how she reacts. If you are appearing to eager to her then she might think she already has the benefits of a boyfriend with out the label and commitment.
  • jazzine1
    jazzine1 Posts: 280 Member
    edited May 2015
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    kinkyslinky16 wrote: »
    jazzine1 wrote: »
    Sometimes its just great sex, lots of great sex. :D I usually tell a guy I don't want a relationship when I truly don't want to be exclusive, I want to leave my options open. BUT that doesn't mean I don't enjoy his company and being pampered, hugged, kissed. I can like a guy but yet not want a relationship with him. A woman knows when she falls deep for a guy and when she does she wont hesitate to be official.

    Yep. This. She doesn't want a relationship with you, just wants to *kitten* and have someone to cuddle with. I had cuddle buddies when I was single. Guy friends that would cuddle, sometimes we had sex and they always spent the night, but we were most definitely not dating exclusively in any way shape or form in my opinion.

    And you could not see her as often and she will probably ask you why and miss you. But it's probably because she got lonely and noticed you were missing........ from my perspective, you are a cuddle buddy....


    Yes you are a cuddle buddy! Great way to put it. Might not be what you want to hear OP but you have to take it for what it is. Enjoy the sex but do limit the time you spend with her since you are catching feeling because you might end up getting hurt. Stop reading too much into how she acts with you and what she allows you to do for her and LISTEN to her words, she doesnt want a relationship. I had a guy tell me once "you say you dont want a relationship but your actions say otherwise"...well I had to stop seeing him all together because I really did not want a relationship WITH HIM even though sex was good and I did like the attention he gave me and just feeling wanted by him.
  • Hybrice
    Hybrice Posts: 117 Member
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    Thanks guys, not what I wanted to hear and definitely doesn't make me happy to read, but I appreciate honesty with which your advice is given.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    jazzine1 wrote: »
    kinkyslinky16 wrote: »
    jazzine1 wrote: »
    Sometimes its just great sex, lots of great sex. :D I usually tell a guy I don't want a relationship when I truly don't want to be exclusive, I want to leave my options open. BUT that doesn't mean I don't enjoy his company and being pampered, hugged, kissed. I can like a guy but yet not want a relationship with him. A woman knows when she falls deep for a guy and when she does she wont hesitate to be official.

    Yep. This. She doesn't want a relationship with you, just wants to *kitten* and have someone to cuddle with. I had cuddle buddies when I was single. Guy friends that would cuddle, sometimes we had sex and they always spent the night, but we were most definitely not dating exclusively in any way shape or form in my opinion.

    And you could not see her as often and she will probably ask you why and miss you. But it's probably because she got lonely and noticed you were missing........ from my perspective, you are a cuddle buddy....


    Yes you are a cuddle buddy! Great way to put it. Might not be what you want to hear OP but you have to take it for what it is. Enjoy the sex but do limit the time you spend with her since you are catching feeling because you might end up getting hurt. Stop reading too much into how she acts with you and what she allows you to do for her and LISTEN to her words, she doesnt want a relationship. I had a guy tell me once "you say you dont want a relationship but your actions say otherwise"...well I had to stop seeing him all together because I really did not want a relationship WITH HIM even though sex was good and I did like the attention he gave me and just feeling wanted by him.

    That was the uh oh I was thinking about and I agree that this is happening.

  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    Being in a long term relationship for so long myself, I would wait more than six months to make it serious! However if it works for you!
  • authip85
    authip85 Posts: 49 Member
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    Tomm88 wrote: »
    6 months is pretty fast after you've both been in long term relationships man. Don't take my word on it but if it seems like she's keeping you at arms lengh she might just not be ready, you taking her out and buying her stuff, meals etc might make her think that you are ready, which might scare her off a bit. I'v been through this before and gave too much too soon. Then again everyones different. best of luck!

    I agree with Tomm..especially after being in a serious relationship she's keeping you at arms length. Continue to have fun and just enjoy each other's company!

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