Take things to the next level

soldiergrl_101
soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
edited November 17 in Chit-Chat
If you are interested in taking things to the next level with a long time friends how do you do it without making the situation awkward...Do you pounce on them like a dog in heat and hope they accept the advance or maybe some alcohol LOL. How would you do it?
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Replies

  • StereophoneyGaz
    StereophoneyGaz Posts: 406 Member
    Definitely get a drink on board ;)
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Wine?
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  • aaronff63
    aaronff63 Posts: 54 Member
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    That's pretty much it. Drinking and pouncing. Let the rest figure itself out.

    Would work for me!
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    The question is, would the guy go along with it even if he wasn't interested or push them away and be like umm no..(the ultimate fear)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    The question is, would the guy go along with it even if he wasn't interested or push them away and be like umm no..(the ultimate fear)

    Only 1 way to find out!
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    The question is, would the guy go along with it even if he wasn't interested or push them away and be like umm no..(the ultimate fear)

    So what is it that you want because to me these two options are both the same if I want to get serious with the person.
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  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    The question is, would the guy go along with it even if he wasn't interested or push them away and be like umm no..(the ultimate fear)

    Unless they are gay or married, most guys that I know would go along with it.

    Yeah, most guys in the "friend zone" aren't there by their choice...
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
    Personally, I'd just ask.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    If you are interested in taking things to the next level with a long time friends how do you do it without making the situation awkward...

    What level are you on now and what level are you shooting for?
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    Well normally im never scared to make the first move...but in this case he is very hard to read. I'm not looking to start a long term relationship, just see where it goes...but I dont know if I can rely on him to make the first move he is shy. He was my high school boyfriend way way back in the day and the relationship was too juvenile to really count. Ive finally come home after ten years so I want to see if any thing is there we have been hanging out alot and we talked while I was gone. How should I do it, I dont even know if I am still his type :(
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    Well normally im never scared to make the first move...but in this case he is very hard to read. I'm not looking to start a long term relationship, just see where it goes...but I dont know if I can rely on him to make the first move he is shy. He was my high school boyfriend way way back in the day and the relationship was too juvenile to really count. Ive finally come home after ten years so I want to see if any thing is there we have been hanging out alot and we talked while I was gone. How should I do it, I dont even know if I am still his type :(

    So you still like him. Does he know this? If he does not then why is that?

  • mistikal13
    mistikal13 Posts: 1,457 Member
    Go for it....drink, pounce, bed? lol
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    Ive given off all the signs that I like him
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited May 2015
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    Ive given off all the signs that I like him

    Have you said 'i like you'? boys don't often notice 'signs'
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    Ive given off all the signs that I like him

    You said he is shy. From my experience, I do not pick up all these so called signs. Watch him not really know for sure you want him until the clothes are gone.

    Also I see you have not just came out of told him you still like him.

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  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    soldiergrl_101 wrote: »
    Ive given off all the signs that I like him

    Have you said 'i like you' boys don't often notice 'signs'

    That's for dam sure, I just dont want to *kitten* it up. I figured I'd see if any fellow MFPrs had a similar situation

  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    asflatasapancake wrote: »
    Kiss him on the ear. If he asks you what you were doing, just say you thought you saw some barbeque sauce. Then you can say, 'Should I stop?'. Then he can either say 'Yes' or 'No'. If you need to know how to do the rest, I would need some more time to prepare a document for you.

    Lmao this is awesome, I had a similar idea in mind since we are taking a day trip via train to NYC Saturday. I was like hmmm I need to find a cleaver way to be like its late we should just get a room and leave early tomorrow and then go from there haha. But that is probably too obvious

  • aaronff63
    aaronff63 Posts: 54 Member
    Honestly just get it out in the open and say it. Saves time, worry, heartache etc. You know, it's the Band aid theory just jerk it off already and get it over with. I couldn't imagine a guy that is not otherwise committed saying "no lets just be pals".
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    You say you have given him signs. I'd like to know what these are to determine whether or not they are overt or covert. Something you might see as a huge sign may not be viewed that way by him. Also, how is his self esteem? I know from personal experience that even though I recognized signs, i simply thought that there was no way the girl liked me and convinced myself I was misinterpreting them.

    You know what might also be good? Just coming out and saying that you want to explore the feelings to see if they are legitimate or if they are just something that you are remembering from the past. This way you are on the same page - no guarantees. I mean, what if he has been pining for you for 10 years, and you pounce on him and decide it's not for you? That's probably going to sting a little.

    But if you let him know up front, that you aren't sure and want to test the waters, then you don't give him an unrealistic expectation.

  • michaela4910
    michaela4910 Posts: 544 Member
    I like the bbq sauce idea, that'd work for me. But, I also think just coming out with it and being truthful is the best approach. I'm a shy guy and I can tell you that "signs" don't work. I can convince myself that all of those "signs" mean something else altogether. I also think that he isn't hanging out with you just because you're buds. I'm guessing there's some interest on his part.
  • angelxbaby714
    angelxbaby714 Posts: 937 Member
    Just start humping him & hope he gives in. ;) jk.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    You say you have given him signs. I'd like to know what these are to determine whether or not they are overt or covert. Something you might see as a huge sign may not be viewed that way by him. Also, how is his self esteem? I know from personal experience that even though I recognized signs, i simply thought that there was no way the girl liked me and convinced myself I was misinterpreting them.

    You know what might also be good? Just coming out and saying that you want to explore the feelings to see if they are legitimate or if they are just something that you are remembering from the past. This way you are on the same page - no guarantees. I mean, what if he has been pining for you for 10 years, and you pounce on him and decide it's not for you? That's probably going to sting a little.

    But if you let him know up front, that you aren't sure and want to test the waters, then you don't give him an unrealistic expectation.

    I think his self confidence is pretty high, not arrogantly so but enough to make a move if he wants. That said my resume intimidates most guys and with him knowing me since before I left for the military and began working at MIT I think it intimidates him. Like he thinks he wouldn't be good enough, I know a few guys who have told me that.

    As far as the signs, just the normal flirting things most chicks do eye contact, texting...I have also been out of the game for about 5 years so I probably dont even know how to flirt as well as I used to come to think about it

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  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    Whats a good line.. "You have really sexy eyes, lets hump!"
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