Marriage.

Amen!

I TOTALLY AGREE....ME AND MY HUSBAND WILL HAVE BEEN MARRIED 12 YEARS ON JULY 4TH AND WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH MANY ROUGH PATCHES...IT'S NOT ALL SMILES AND LAUGHTER....I FEEL THAT US BEING GOD FEARING PLAYS A LARGE PART IN OUR RELATIONSHIP AND WE CAN TALK TO EACH OTHER ABOUT ANYTHING! KEEP LOVE ALIVE PEOPLE...IT'S WORTH IT IN THE LONG RUN :flowerforyou:

I totally agree

You now,

I was married for 15 years and got divorced 7 years ago. Looking back, we should have separated at least 5 years earlier. Goals, objectives and values change when you grow up, and if they diverge, what is the point of trying to argue which each other. I was, and my ex likely too, not happy at all.

Met someone else with a kid, 10 now and we have a 3 year old, got together 5 years ago and got married 4 years ago. Haven't had a single fight or argument yet. So, bottom line is, if you are not happy in your marriage, fight or argue about essential things, move on. Life is too short; you can only live in once. And making a drastic change can be good for both you and your spouse, but looking back do it sooner rather than later. When there are issues, they are not going to get better, just worse over time.

I'll add my two cents...So much life happens. There are good reasons and there are bad reasons...Guess it all depends on your point of view and whose side you're on. I am very blessed to have been married to a real great guy for 27 years now. Have I wanted to wring neck? Yes. I've even thought/expressed a wish to divorce. The difference in my marriage? Communication and deep down, I really do love him whole heartedly. Now, whenever I think I want to leave, I remind myself of that and sooner or later, things smooth out. However, I'll state again, I am VERY blessed to have a really great guy who treats me well and loves me. So, that's the difference I guess in a marriage that succeeds or fails. Respect, communication and Love....gotta have those on both sides.

I just say No to marriage..... maybe when I'm 65 & need retirement $$$ LOL but. Nah, I'm good just the way I am

Great post...and really sad that divorces now make the paper...I've never seen that before. Or atleast I've never noticed them in my local papers.

My husband and I have only been married 2 years this October but we've been together for 10 years. EVERY day is hard work but those moments where you look at someone and think "geez, you really do always have my back" is the most fulfilling lovely feeling in the world. I realize marriage isn't for everyone and some people truly do need to split up, but I guess I'm old school with thinking..."not without a fight". (This is my opinion applying to my marriage only)

Sometimes it's not that easy.
My first marriage my X was my high school sweetheart, I found as I got older 30, I never was in-love with him. never had the butterflies or anything, I felt like I loved him like my brother or family member. Yes I divorced him.
I found the love of my life and we had a great relationship, the thought of divorce never entered my mind. Until, he became disabled from back problems, started drinking heavily, hanging with another women who was giving him Oxy's and our marriage meant nothing to him. I decided to end it, told him I'm never living like this again. He decided he wanted our marriage to work, he cleaned up and I'm in the healing process. Yes things are good now but I'm ready to walk if I ever have the feeling things are going bad again. I will no longer live like I did for almost a year and I am putting me first and if that means divorcing him, then so be it, I'll be better off.

So many people I know that are getting married already talk about the prospect of divorce. Granted, yes, it's always good to be prepared.... but marriage isn't exactly a natural disaster (lol.) Can't stock up on water bottles and canned beans. It's the emotional turbulence you need to prepare for. Marriage is hard. But the way I see it, anything worth doing isn't easy. I love being married! It's so much fun! I married my very best friend. We fight CONSTANTLY!! That just means we REALLLY care. In the end, though, you have to do what's best for you and your family.

Marriage is just a label people!

In the end, if you are happy as a couple, you'll stay together, if you are unhappy then perhaps you shouldn't be together. People change a lot over long periods of time, the person you were at 18 probably is different to you at 30, and you may no longer click with your 'other half', its natrual. Divorce doesn't have to be an "EVIL" thing - surely its almost always the right thing to do. If one half is considering a divorce for whatever reason, then there must be unhappiness there. Of course for some people, love and friendship can prevail and marriages can last and that is great.

We are all on a quest for happiness in the end. Staying with someone, married or not, when you and/or they are actually unhappy isn't clever.

Part of the problem is that lots of people get married way to young. How can you possible promise to love someone forever if you haven't lived with them, or picked their hair out of the plughole, or had sex. It takes time in life to figure out exactly who you are, and what you need from a partner in life. I doubt anyone really knowns that at 16 although some get lucky with teenage marriages.

And a special message to @atkinssucks - Marriage is just a label! It sounds like you are pretty devoted to each other if you live together and have kids. If you are happy together, surely that's all the matters. Of course most of us girlies want the big day in the white dress but in the end, its just a piece of paper.

For the record, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we have lived together for the last 3 and just bought a house together (which is interestingly just as legally binding as getting married). We'd like to do the big day sometime, but in no particular rush.

How will getting married prove that he has no desire to ever not be with you? The whole thread is about divorce!! Marriage is not any kind of certainty. Standing in a church and saying "I do" will not mean that your circumstances might not change in the future.

What I was trying to say is that if you love him, you should be happy with what you have (which sounds like quite a lot). And trust that when he says he loves you, it is the truth - why do you need some sort of extra assurance that he isn't going to leave you?