Unsupportive Sister

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K_saine
K_saine Posts: 58 Member
in Motivation and Support
So my sister is one of those people where unless you do something her way its not a good method at all. Yesterday, I mentioned that I started this a few days ago and couldn't eat a whole lot because I only had so many calories to last me dinner and an evening snack. So she responds with "wanna know my advice? Don't count calories." I responded with "This plan is better than I have been doing and it makes me aware of what a portion actually is and although its only been a few days its made me more aware of what I eat and how much I eat." Then she looks at me with a look that says "is that the best argument you can come up with?"

I know I can't change her mind but is there anything anyone else would say to someone not supportive of this method of trying to lose weight?
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  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    I would ignore her to be honest. Do your thing, make your progress and maybe she'll see that what you're doing works for YOU and that she should just, I dunno shut up. ;)
  • canadjineh
    canadjineh Posts: 5,396 Member
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    Results are the best answer, lol. When she asks you to eat something off your planned intake, just smile & say, "No thanks, I don't feel like any right now." What can she say to that? Then change the subject, don't feed into her approval/disapproval mentality.
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 701 Member
    edited May 2015
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    Don't discuss it with her. From my personal experience, people who are disparaging of this method rarely change their mind.
  • Lourdesong
    Lourdesong Posts: 1,492 Member
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    What was her argument for her position? Make her argue it and defend her assertions.
  • alt5057
    alt5057 Posts: 62 Member
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    That look could have been because she had no comeback. I think that is a pretty good response. You could add "I am doing this to feel better about myself". You may not be able to change her opinion, but hopefully she will learn that you are doing this and her unsupportive remarks won't change it...and when she sees it working, maybe make her a little jealous ;)
  • K_saine
    K_saine Posts: 58 Member
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    Lourdesong wrote: »
    What was her argument for her position? Make her argue it and defend her assertions.
    She didn't give me her argument because she was too busy looking disapprovingly at me when my younger sister (who also uses my fitness pal and know how awful my sister can get) stepped in and changed the conversation and it was dropped (at least for now).
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    Lourdesong wrote: »
    What was her argument for her position? Make her regurgitate whatever the latest buzzwords/fads/diets areand defend her assertions.

    FIFY
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    Learn how to cope with disapproving looks.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    edited May 2015
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    You have got the flaw of expecting anything from her at all. Remove her from your strategy, suppprt yourself and that should be enough. Energy spent on trying to persuade or worrying about what others might think is wasted and could be better used on making sure your diet is effective.
  • Lourdesong
    Lourdesong Posts: 1,492 Member
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    K_saine wrote: »
    Lourdesong wrote: »
    What was her argument for her position? Make her argue it and defend her assertions.
    She didn't give me her argument because she was too busy looking disapprovingly at me when my younger sister (who also uses my fitness pal and know how awful my sister can get) stepped in and changed the conversation and it was dropped (at least for now).

    The point is that you don't have to be tasked with defending yourself when she put herself out there to be tasked with defending herself.

    She offered her opinion, from there it's her who should defend her opinion, not you. If you make her opinions come with the condition of her having a job to do (the task of defending it) she may be reluctant to give her opinions in the future.

  • Angelfire365
    Angelfire365 Posts: 803 Member
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    canadjineh wrote: »
    Results are the best answer, lol. When she asks you to eat something off your planned intake, just smile & say, "No thanks, I don't feel like any right now." What can she say to that? Then change the subject, don't feed into her approval/disapproval mentality.

    THIS

    This is what I've been doing. My family is filled with garbage 'nutritional advice' they've read off Facebook. My mother almost laid a brick when I told her I was thinking about running; she firmly believes I'd wind up in a wheelchair because my knees would blow out. So I started running and just never told her.
  • moesis
    moesis Posts: 874 Member
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    Weight loss is simple Calories In - Calories Out, if you don't know what you are putting into your body how can you possibly know that you are running at a calorie deficite?

    She won't change her mind. All you can do is use her nay saying as motivation to prove her wrong, take pride in yourself, and make yourself feel good.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    edited May 2015
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    My sister yelled at me because I don't eat breakfast. "You need fuel in your tank!" I lost 30 pounds skipping breakfast...clearly I did it wrong. I ignored her
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    You can't convince someone who thinks they've got it all figured out.

    My best response is just to say something like, "Noted. Thanks." And then just do my own thing.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    Results really are the best answer - don't explain your choices, just do your thing.
  • NewMeSM75
    NewMeSM75 Posts: 971 Member
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    I've learned to ignore what other people think. I do what I know is best for me.
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
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    Uh, tell her to go *kitten* herself? Seriously, she's your sister, why the hell does it matter what she thinks?
  • ktothema
    ktothema Posts: 37 Member
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    In my opinion (because clearly you need someone else's opinion shoved down your throat ;) ) every one is different and different things work for different people. If counting calories works for you then brilliant. If it doesn't work for your sister but she's getting results then that's also great. But there's no point in following any eating plan that doesn't work for you and you alone. Good luck, keep going and just nod and smile at her.
  • SRedd314
    SRedd314 Posts: 21 Member
    edited May 2015
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    UltimateRBF wrote: »
    She's your sister, tell her she can piss off. You don't need her approval and it sounds like you're on the right track anyway :)
    LyndseyLovesToLift wrote: »
    Uh, tell her to go *kitten* herself? Seriously, she's your sister, why the hell does it matter what she thinks?

    Exactly my thoughts.

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