How to cook for 4 people when I am the only one that wants to be healthy.
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wretchedeinstein wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »
Or go out and buy something else. Not unusual for men to do rather than argue. The standoff approach rarely works when it comes to food.marilandica wrote: »Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves.
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Then they're free to do so, IMHO. I work long hours, i'm active in my job. And I come home and cook. Generally, BF is satisfied with what I make, so I don't have that issue. But, were than an issue, i'd point him to the bread and sandwich meats.
Per her profile, she travels with her boyfriend. My guess is she's not out working long hours and her job is to take care of the family, meaning cook for her bf along with his dad and uncle. It's completely reasonable for them to expect her to make them food they like/want.
Thank you for paying attention lol. I do not work. The guys work 12 hours/day at the moment, but they will be working 16 hours/day pretty soon. The do this for months at a time with no off days. I don't feel like I have to do anything, I do this for them because they work hard. My bf's dad and uncle do not travel with their wives. His dad and uncle give me $100/each, each week to get groceries. My cooking for them isn't the problem I have. It's cooking for them, and change my eating habits. I'm not trying to change theirs. I don't "owe" them anything, I do it out of the kindness of my heart.
Someone suggested a food scale, do those really help? When I calorie counted before, a few years ago, I was single. I ate frozen "health" entrees, things like that. Anything that had calories on the label was easy. But it's hard to measure calories for something you've cooked. Does that make sense?
hmmm...to the bolded...who pays the rent?hydro? gas to travel? just curious as it's not you...
as to thiswretchedeinstein wrote: »Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me?
no it won't..get the food scale. Log accurately.
Learn this one lesson...it's not the types of foods you eat it's the quantity of food you eat...
As for measuring what you cooked. Log "cooked roast beef", "cooked chicken breast" using the correct method and weight...if you look at my diary you will see it is easily Done...or if it's a recipe put it in the recipe builder.
As I said I cook for 2 men who work 12-14 hour days too and want lots of high calorie high fat food...I still managed to lose 60lbs eating the food I prepared.
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wretchedeinstein wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »Scenario.
If the one that was attempting a more nutrious lifestyle worked many hours a day, and the eats more calorie person(I won't say unhealthy-food eating, since I look at no food as unhealthy) was preparing the meals, and they always made butter-laden potatoes, fried chicken, cheesecakes, rolls, macaroni, etc, should the person that needs less calories eat what they have prepared for them, or should meal-maker be required to buy/prepare other foods, because they don't like that? Not trying to ruffle feathers, I am just curious. I feel that a person who requires/wants a higher calorie meal plan would not be as accomodating. Not sure, though.marilandica wrote: »Either they eat what you put on the table or they cook for themselves.
Wow, you must be so caring and loving. These men have serious caloric needs based on the work that they do. If she's going to take on the responsibility of cooking for everyone, she needs to make sure they meet those caloric needs. There are ways to cook meat and potatoes without them being considered what some would label 'unhealthy'. They can have larger portions and she can have smaller portions. I can't eat a lot of foods, so I make different meals for myself and my husband. Or, as many have suggested, she can make salad for herself to go along with the meal. There are workarounds for every situation, if a person is willing to take the time.
I am. four years together, including in the same dwelling.
LIke I said, I generally don't have that issue. When I make his burger, I don't put lettuce and tomato on it like I do mine, since he does not like those veggies. His stuff has some extra cheese on it, because he's a little rat, lol. If I have a salad planned, he will make a sandwich or order pizza.
If OP does not work, then no, I don't see an issue with perhaps preparing her stuff in a way that gives her less calories. But if all someone wants is meats/taters, they best be helping with the grocery bill....and the dishwashing!
I do see your point, however, OP did make the point that she is the cook for all these people. We could, of course, take it a step further, and ask if she works, who shops, etc. That would provide the bigger picture. Assuming does get us nowhere.
Yeah, and I haven't noticed that she's come back yet. Perhaps just quietly stalking our somewhat heated responses, lol.
Again, the above was simply my opinion, and my life. There's plenty of suggestions in the thread! my SO has bee out of town; it's time like this that I save my tofu or sushi or avocado based meals, since he doesn't care for those. I'm really not munching on tuna and screaming at him to make his own food. But the time he said he preffered my spaghetti with beef instead of turkey, I mentioned that we have a ton of sandwich makings.
lol.... I slipped turkey into several things I make and it turns out my hubs likes them just as much or better with the turkey, so we've made the switch. I will admit there have been times I've made the offer for him to find something that suits him if he doesn't like what I took out of the freezer for the evening.
lolol. I've tried that whole turkey switcharoo thing. It didn't work.
Try 1/2 turkey and 1/2 beef, that might work. Still get the beef taste, less fat and calories.0 -
I use weekends for food prep for me. I'll cook something that I can heat/rewarm during the week and then whatever else the heck he wants to eat throughout the week. While he's having fried chicken and gravy, I opt for the meal I've already precooked/prepackaged for myself.
OR
I'll eat what he's eating and swap out extra veggies. Fill half your plate with veggies and the rest with meat/carb and you'll be ok. Just watch your portion sizes.
OR
Keep some fresh greens and salad fixings at all times. Swap out a salad for you for whatever else they're eating.
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Well, $200 "extra" dollars a week, for groceries, yeah, be more accomodating.
I think a scale is very important. What we think as "can't be that many caories" is...yowza sometimes.
That beng said, you can have meat and taters, there's no food that is off limits. If you don't want to cook something different, then yeah, you can have that just not as much. Or, you can prepare your own meal t accomodate you.0 -
wretchedeinstein wrote: »Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me?
I think you should eat what they are eating, but in smaller portion. It is easier, probably cheaper, and you will be getting your protein. You have to deliberately work to get your protein if you go vegan. Perhaps cut down on some things like gravy and butter. Add more veggies if you want. Or cook your meat differently than they like it, (for example, if they like their meat fried, you could bake or broil or grill yours)
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wretchedeinstein wrote: »Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me?
No, I would not go vegan for this situation.
It's actually pretty easy to measure the calories in something you've cooked. MFP has a recipe builder. You just enter your ingredients and the number of servings (one hint: if you make all servings 1 oz. or 100 grams, it makes it easy to figure out how much you're eating.) When you make the recipe the next time, measure your ingredients again (in case they change slightly) and then edit your recipe.0 -
wretchedeinstein wrote: »Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me?
Why? Just do smaller portions of meat, you need the protein. The only reason people go vegan is for beliefs or if they can't eat meat for some reason. Or don't like it.
I notice a lot of folks are saying it's portion control issues, I'm thinking that is most likely my problem.
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@wretchedeinstein , I think your problem will be solved with a food scale. Use the recipe builder here. Find out how many calories are in your home cooking.
I live in the middle of oil country and the last small town I lived in was full of truckers, miners, and prison guards. All the local restaurant meals were super-portioned with extra cheese. Yes, these guys need to fuel their days. I would see a work crew come in the morning to the restaurant and have themselves a massive breakfast, which they would use for the rest of the day.
I suggest a big breakfast, lots of eggs, cheese, bacon, sausage, the whole works, to get them out the door.
Your problem is solved with judicious portioning, and skipping lots of the fats and cheeses. Take more vegetables. Your breakfast will be one or two eggs, one toast, a couple slices tomato, and a glass of milk.0 -
wretchedeinstein wrote: »Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me?
How would this solve anything? I could only imagine it would add more. Instead of eating leaner meats/less meats, now you just eat no meat, dairy, cheese, etc? Unless if you WANT to eat vegan, I have zero clue how this would help things.
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I would become best friends with the grill. Pork tenderloin, chicken breasts, pork chops, 85/15 burgers, steaks, etc. I love grilled corn on the cob. Baked potatoes are also not bad at all if you don't drown them in toppings. To be honest, even when I was obese, I generally only ate them with kosher salt. They didn't really need anything else. I also do oven baked fries, potato chips. Actually a portion of potato chips has been, IME, always MORE than what the bag says it will be when I weigh it.
For breakfast, I would just make my own thing on the side or after they left.0 -
That works with kids. Adults have money and will go out and buy something else to eat and more than likely have animosity created between each other at dinner time.This is how i'd deal with it. I'd make the food i want and i'd say "this is what i made for dinner." If someone says, "i don't want that" i'd use the same line my grandma used to tell me, "well don't eat."
The OP is trying to lose weight, not the others. No reason to insist putting them on the same "health kick" as the others.
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I can understand the animosity part. But I also feel I am the one who's cooking, I don't have to cook for anyone. I am willing to cook for everyone, if they want to eat what i make. I am thinking of this in the relationship context. If i have a girlfriend I would like for her to be happy. SHe obviously has the freedom to eat what she wants, but in the other hand, I would hope she's considerate and understanding of my goals, and she would want to assist me. If the tables are turned, I would be supportive of her goals and help her. If she goes vegan(not my thing), then I frankly would do it. I'd just make my own food.
I agree with you partially on this..
for me it all depends on their contribution to the household.
And if I didn't work...wow...those to men would have 7 course meals every night....I love them and they are good hard working men and deserve at the very least a great meal when they get home.0 -
wretchedeinstein wrote: »Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me?
I think it would be better solved by you working more activity into your day so you could eat more yourself. Walking, jogging, stairclimbing, following aerobic class vids on YT, are all free and can be done about anywhere. Seems like you probably have enough downtime to work in a good hour or two a day of cardio.0 -
oh so that changes with a ring...interesting.
Chances are with attitudes like that no ring will be forth coming...
coming from someone's Mom and a wife...
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This is my husband, unfortunately he is the one cooking dinner most nights as he is retired. I have gotten around it by adding more veggies to my lunch and snacks and allowing for what he fixes in the evening. I can usually eat the meat, the potatoes and whatever veggie he fixes. With the exception of the veggie I eat smaller portions. I can add a salad to what I eat. I try to fix make ahead meals on the weekends so I can get more variety, he eats as much as he wants and adds whatever things I don't want to eat to his meal or snack. There is noting wrong with meat potatoes and green beans, it just gets boring. Try broiling or grilling the meat to cut down on calories.0
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I got a tip from the forums that made my life a lot easier a few weeks ago. Use the recipe builder to put all the ingredients you are using in the recipe you are making, but count the entire recipe as one serving so you know how many calories are in the total batch you cooked. They, use the food scale to weigh the entire finished product and divide the entire recipe by the number of grams the total finished product weighs. That way you can accurately know how much you can or should be eating and how many calories are in it. It can be tricky when you are cooking for a crowd but I thought that was really helpful!
Also my dad used to work offshore a lot and unless things have changed they eat like friggin kings out there so a little cauliflower won't kill them!0 -
hollyrayburn wrote: »If they don't participate in the shopping/cooking, then I'd say they can eat it, or not.
"back in my day" I had two choices when others prepared meals for me. Take it or leave it.
No, just take it, because momma said we don't waste food.
If they wish to be particular about the meals, they can purchase and make their own meals.
Yup.0 -
You can still cook and eat what they eat but just smaller portions of the meat or higher calories stuff and just add more veggies for yourself.0
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wretchedeinstein wrote: »I notice a lot of folks are saying it's portion control issues, I'm thinking that is most likely my problem.
Portion control can be hard to learn. You'll need a kitchen scale for that as it will show you what a portion is.
Once you get used to weighing everything, it's not hard and takes very little time.
Eat a piece of meat (weigh it), add a lot of veggies and some starch. There's your meal. Your family can eat meat & potatoes, if that's what satisfies them. You won't have to cook anything different for yourself, except adding the veggies. It can be done. My husband is a true meat & potato eater. It wasn't a big deal to cook for both of our needs & wants while I was losing.
Who knows? Maybe the family will start eating more veggies, too. 0 -
I have a very active husband and two little boys. They all love burgers, potatoes, macaroni and cheese etc. As do I. The difference is they metabolize it faster and dont pack on the pounds. What I do is eat light for breakfast and lunch, (usually 300 calories or less for each meal). This leaves me lots of calories left to have a family meal at the end of the day. Its easy to make my breakfast and lunch differently just with quick substitutions.0
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oh so that changes with a ring...interesting.
Chances are with attitudes like that no ring will be forth coming...
coming from someone's Mom and a wife...
Honey, for your information, not that it matters to me, but I'm married and have been for more than 10 years. We BOTH work 40+ hours per week, and we BOTH do our OWN cooking. Why? Because we're adults, and I'm on a diet and he's diabetic. So things that I CAN eat he can't, and things he wants, I don't.
As far as your asinine comment about a ring being forthcoming, one thing I've learned is that you can't buy someone's love by doing things for them. If a guy has someone who's doing his chores, doing his cooking, doing his laundry, what's his motivation for marrying her?
She can do what she wants and that's fine if it works for them. In her situation, she's not working so it's sort of fair for her to do the cooking (for the entire household, no less) if she's okay with that. And as others have said, she can eat what she cooks, she just needs to measure it out on a scale. It's no different than anything else.
So if domestic servitude is your thing, good for you. Wear that badge proudly. It sure as hell isn't for everyone.
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I adjust my calorie intake for breakfast (150-200) and lunch (300-400). This leaves 600-750 for dinner. Small portions of steak, potatoes, and veggies will fit 600-750 calories! I prefer to eat the same as my family. I feel it's almost as important as sharing dinner as a family at our table.0
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wretchedeinstein wrote: »Do you guys think my problem could be "semi-solved" by going vegan? What I mean is, do you think it'd just make things easier for me?
Why would that be any easier than just eating what they are eating, but in smaller portions?0 -
...because he loves her, hopefully.
oh so that changes with a ring...interesting.
Chances are with attitudes like that no ring will be forth coming...
coming from someone's Mom and a wife...
Honey, for your information, not that it matters to me, but I'm married and have been for more than 10 years. We BOTH work 40+ hours per week, and we BOTH do our OWN cooking. Why? Because we're adults, and I'm on a diet and he's diabetic. So things that I CAN eat he can't, and things he wants, I don't.
As far as your asinine comment about a ring being forthcoming, one thing I've learned is that you can't buy someone's love by doing things for them. If a guy has someone who's doing his chores, doing his cooking, doing his laundry, what's his motivation for marrying her?
She can do what she wants and that's fine if it works for them. In her situation, she's not working so it's sort of fair for her to do the cooking (for the entire household, no less) if she's okay with that. And as others have said, she can eat what she cooks, she just needs to measure it out on a scale. It's no different than anything else.
So if domestic servitude is your thing, good for you. Wear that badge proudly. It sure as hell isn't for everyone.
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eat smaller portions than them. problem solved. i eat what my husband eats. just a lot less.
and why are you cooking for all these people? if im cooking, you eat what i cook or go make your own and dont forget to clean up after yourself.0 -
...because he loves her, hopefully.
Key word there is "hopefully."
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