We broke up because...
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She made me broke buying her shoes0
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He threw caution to the wind. Wait...no, he kept blowing wind!
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Couldn't accept losing flex-offs0
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Wasnt comfortable being my sub
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It was all games for her.0
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Didn't like to play.0
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She couldn't handle my game0
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He could handle my game
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She was always plotting something evil0
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So many games. I couldn't keep up0
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Couldn't keep up because she always had to wear heels! Even on a hike!0
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She didn't believe in vacations, or taking a day off... Such was her workaholic nature. I got tired of being ignored.0
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She demanded too much attention0
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He couldn't handle a princess like myself0
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Too much of a diva0
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He was a mob boss0
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She wouldn't carry out hit jobs0
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Kept forcing me to carry a gun0
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Kept dropping her guns in public0
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Marriage got it the way0
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Because you ate the last piece of cake!!
haha 
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want me to look up her nose at night0
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Had an unhealthy fascination with noses0
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Didn't like my nose enough0
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my beard was soooooo ticklish...0
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He would t let me stoke his head0
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She liked her boobs more than she liked me. 0
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wore sunglasses at night0
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He was outta my league!0
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She kept trying to dye my hair red0
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