Gave up again...sad...got any tips for coming back?

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I got "stuck" in the mid-170s and I lost hope. And dedication. And commitment. I figured, "I'm NOT going to achieve this and I can't stick to just eating so few calories because I feel sluggish and depressed all the time." Really, I tried. But then I just sort of gave up. I ate FAR too many things that are bad for me. I counteracted them with raw carrots and lots of salads, and I'm still in the mid-170s, although on the high side now. I feel SO disheartened, like I just don't have the character or willpower or focus or something. I feel weepy and chubby and unlovable.

I really thought when I began here that I'd see consistent weight loss, even just a half pound a week. I actually began going backwards. I understand CICO. I think some of it was water.

I'm sure there must be some other people who have gotten to this point and broken through. Please tell me how you did it. I seem to feeling more and sad every single day. Ironically, I ate better and exercised more BEFORE I got on MFP than I am doing right now.

Thank you in advance to anyone kind enough to respond.
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Replies

  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
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    You know what's great about MFP? You'll meet folks who believe in you, like me.

    This is important to you. It's worth it. It's OK to struggle and fall. We all do. It happens, and it's OK.

    I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're trying. That's character. That's strength.

    Never forget why you're doing this. Remind yourself that this is something you said you would do, and you're the kind of person that follows through. You got this.

    I believe in you.
    Brandon
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
    edited May 2015
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    I don't worry about what I weigh today. Weight goes up and down a bit due to the way the body works. As long as I have an overall downward trend, I'm happy.

    I really like having a record of exactly what I've eaten. It gives me a sense of control.

    It sounds to me like the things that I like about MFP just stress you out. Calorie counting may not be for you. You need to find something that does work for you without making you sad. There are a lot of weight loss plans out there that don't require such specific focus.

    How many pounds were you trying to lose a week? If you want to keep trying to use MFP, I would suggest that you set it to 1 pound per week or even 0.5 pounds per week for a while. It might be that you were just trying to be too strict with yourself too quickly.
  • jschleit
    jschleit Posts: 4 Member
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    Hello Cali. I got stuck for several weeks and also got frustrated. On top of it I had lost enough weight that MFP had recently reduced my calories and I was starting to feel sluggish and maybe a bit lightheaded with the reduced amount. It took several weeks, but I finally started losing again. I increased my calories intake slightly so I still ate at a deficit, but added enough that I felt better. I was eating at a lower deficit and would lose more slowly, but at least I felt better and was much less likely to cheat. I also started being much more careful with my logging to ensure I actually was eating the amount I was logging.

    If you are eating so few calories that you are sluggish and depressed I would suggest increasing your intake slightly (others may disagree). Breaking through a plateau takes time, but you need to stick with it (you can do it!). You'll be much better off with a calorie intake that you can sustain on the long term versus trying to lose more quickly but being miserable in the process. My two cents.
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
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    I agree. You can create a deficit without being miserable. You just have to be smart about it.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,687 Member
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    One of the biggest fears for anyone is success. Sounds dumb, because who doesn't want success? But once you get success, then there is expectation of maintaining it and more. Just like taking on a weight loss plan, sometimes it's just EASIER to not start than to try to finish.
    It does take a bit more intestinal fortitude to sometimes overcome it, but you can mentally get yourself to believe you deserve it. Once you do, you'll be surprised at how much more resistance you have to letting it go again.
    Good luck.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • Gabrielm80
    Gabrielm80 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    Yes I made a topic on that very thing. Click the link and check it out

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/comment/32351271#Comment_32351271
  • kpodaru
    kpodaru Posts: 133 Member
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    it took me SEVEN YEARS to get back on the healthy wagon. tried, stopped, tried again, stopped again. it happens to everyone.
    that said you have to WANT it bad enough to stick to it. there's no other way to say it. we've all plateaued, we've all hit the wall with our weight/weight loss but that should not stop you; in fact, it should push you to keep going!

    do not look at the scale. it's one of the first things i say to people who start a weight loss journey - go by inches lost, how your clothes fit and how you feel. the scale will drive people mad! when i started, i did not look at that damn thing for two years and when i finally did step on the scale i realized i had lost nearly 30lbs (at 135lbs). i stepped on the scale about 10months later and was 130lbs but down to a size 4. now, a year later, i'm at 128lbs but down to a size 2 so while my weight hasn't changed much, i've dropped inches and body fat which i think counts more.

    this your health and important to you so stick with it! find activities you like doing. start researching all you can about healthy eating and how to eat right. knowledge is power, my friend!
  • Kitcandoo
    Kitcandoo Posts: 93 Member
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    Drink a ton of water. Always be on the move. Walk. Don't underestimate the power of that simple movement. You don't need grand gestures to lose weight or to feel good about what you are doing. Just make small, meaningful steps everyday and track what you eat and your exercise. That will hold you accountable. You can do this. Don't give up. You got this.
  • iofred
    iofred Posts: 488 Member
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    It only really works if you think "you have to" rather than "you want to".
    1. Get someone close to you supporting you, that way you can motivate (and inspire) each other
    2. Change your routine. One of the easiest things to stop is getting bored. If you change every couple of weeks you will have something new to look forward to and get motivated by.
    3. Set achievable goals. Having goals out of reach will get you demotivated because you cannot reach them
    4. Reward yourself for goals achieved. That will get you going
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    You are just having a lapse in confidence. patience, determination and bloody mindedness is what gets you through assuming your plan is an intelligent one. I see you sometimes on Helens feed, what you need is consistency and just to keep doing the right things. It cna be tough at times when it doesnt move, but im confident in what im doing so I never doubt it will move eventually, so giving up has never been an option , it just makes me more determined. Giving up is dull if you wnat it enough, then its not really on the table.

    Go to maintenance, take a break, relax and look after yourself. Re-evaluate things and deal with the things you feel are going wrong then come back at it when you are ready.
  • funchords
    funchords Posts: 413 Member
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    Hi CaliforniaRower,

    Today is day 302 and I'm down 105 pounds from 298 in 10 months. Don't compare me to you, I'm tall and was very heavy and very inactive when I started.

    My advice to you is to do what I'm doing...

    1. Log accurately and completely in MyFitnessPal
    2. Be moderately active -- set an achievable goal and meet it every week
    3. Get some outside support, such as Take Off Pounds Sensibly or Overeaters Anonymous or some similar community weight loss support group of real people

    And then do it every day, every week, every month, indefinitely. I'm entering maintenance now, and my plan is unchanged. Same three things.

    When I have a screw up, the screw up doesn't impact those three rules -- it's just a screw up. I log it and -- this is the important part -- I keep going. The three rules don't demand perfection. The three rules don't even insist that I hit the calorie goal. My fitness goal is walking 3x a week for 30 minutes minimum and in ten months, I only missed that one week. The TOPS group is not a strong difference, but all three things pulling together make a nicely rounded-out program and I've been successful on it.
  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
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    I got "stuck" in the mid-170s and I lost hope. And dedication. And commitment. I figured, "I'm NOT going to achieve this and I can't stick to just eating so few calories because I feel sluggish and depressed all the time." Really, I tried. But then I just sort of gave up. I ate FAR too many things that are bad for me. I counteracted them with raw carrots and lots of salads, and I'm still in the mid-170s, although on the high side now. I feel SO disheartened, like I just don't have the character or willpower or focus or something. I feel weepy and chubby and unlovable.

    I really thought when I began here that I'd see consistent weight loss, even just a half pound a week. I actually began going backwards. I understand CICO. I think some of it was water.

    I'm sure there must be some other people who have gotten to this point and broken through. Please tell me how you did it. I seem to feeling more and sad every single day. Ironically, I ate better and exercised more BEFORE I got on MFP than I am doing right now.

    Thank you in advance to anyone kind enough to respond.

    If you were/are feeling sluggish and depressed, you were likely under eating.

    Eating at a deficit is tricky, because a lot of us need to create a balance - we want to lose weight, but feel good while doing it. The reality is, especially if you just want a consistent loss of 0.5lbs per week, that's only a deficit of 250 cals per day. That definitely will not make you feel sick or depressed and if it does, you need to re-evaluate the foods you're eating.

    I eat 1700 cals a day, maintenance for me is around 2100-2300 depending on my activity level that week (I'm a little all over the place because of my job) which means I'm creating a 400-600 calorie deficit each day. I don't feel tired on that (though I do on anything above about 600 cals deficit), but that has a lot to do with how I eat. Yeah, I could eat an entire pizza and demolish my cals for the day, but then I am going to be hungry, lethargic, and probably light headed at some point from not getting to eat.

    You ate a lot of filler foods in terms of veggies it sounds like, but did you ever pay attention to your macros? I find it's a lot easier to drop my calories when I've got moderate carb, protein and fat in the mix. Protein and fat become the most important for me though, and I actually tailor my day around hitting those goals because otherwise, I'll be hungry and likely have lulls of less energy during the day. 100 grams of carrots (so just less than a cup) is 50 cals and less than a gram of protein; I'm a lot fuller eating a cheese string which is 60 cals, but has 6 grams of protein and 4 of fat. It's all about your choices.

    Like you, I get stuck a bit (160s rather than 170s for me). I've been losing weight for almost 4 years now; initially I paused around 180, eventually managed to get my butt in gear enough to stop doing that, but now I also tend to commit and get completely thrown off around 163, then work my way back up to 169 and repeat. For me, it's been about re-evaluating my lifestyle now that I'm only about 20lbs from my goal; where I've been mostly focused on nutrition, now exercise is starting to be important to me (which really is so that I can keep my TDEE on the higher end of the range and eat more consistently) so that I can enjoy foods that you likely consider "bad for you" (like pizza, and brownies, and ice cream) just in moderation.

    Best advice I can give is to add some caring people from this thread to your friends list, log consistently (if you're going to run a small deficit like 250 cals a day, a food scale will be incredibly helpful for you), don't force yourself to eat foods you do not love, and when you get discouraged remember that a lifestyle change is as easy as getting off the couch for 20 minutes to go for a walk around the block.

    Baby steps. It's your life, not just a number on the scale.
  • CaliforniaRower
    CaliforniaRower Posts: 187 Member
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    Thank you all for this encouragement. I'm glad I reached out! I'm stepping back on the path today.
  • David_2015
    David_2015 Posts: 231 Member
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    What's your goal weight? And height? I would *love* to be in the 170s....! Good job!
  • chelleshepherd
    chelleshepherd Posts: 5 Member
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    I got stuck too, short term though. I was doing so well, and then went away for 3 days. Refusing to spend my break counting calories in everything I ate, I tried to be sensible, and I walked a lot but was so disheartened when I got home and found I'd gained 4lbs that I gave up. It took me three weeks to get back on trackk, and I think I'm back doing okay again. Just put it behind you, you can't change what's happened, just look forward and set small achievable goals. If you're feeling tired/sluggish, make sure that you're eating enough, don't try starving yourself. Keep an eye on your nutrition stats too, and make sure you're getting enough vit C and iron - even if it means taking supplements. Good luck x
  • BEVERLYSTEEN
    BEVERLYSTEEN Posts: 106 Member
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    Last spring I started at 240 and I successfully got down into the 180's (not my goal), then Winter set in, stopped tracking, and quickly regained AGAIN! I tell myself every time that I won't let this happen again. I am starting back again today at 222, I am just lucky I didn't gain it all back again.
  • andympanda
    andympanda Posts: 763 Member
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    Find your reason for doing this and stay motivate. Find good support. Remember everyone slips up, just need to stay the course for the long term.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
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    Maybe the reason you feel sluggish is because you are not eating the right kinds of food to properly fuel your body.

    That's how I felt on Weight Watchers. I would only eat low point foods and did NOT get enough fats, protein, and iron. I ate a lot of veggies but not much of substance.

    Since I have been using MFP and have been paying attention to meeting macro goals (meet in my minimum fats, protein, fiber, iron, carbs, etc. ) and exercising a bit (to earn additional calories) I feel sooooooo much better.

    I don't cut out foods or worry about sugar or carbs...I eat what I truly love and make sure I het at LEAST 40+ grams of protein and 100% of my iron and fiber daily.
  • CaliforniaRower
    CaliforniaRower Posts: 187 Member
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    I got stuck too, short term though. I was doing so well, and then went away for 3 days. Refusing to spend my break counting calories in everything I ate, I tried to be sensible, and I walked a lot but was so disheartened when I got home and found I'd gained 4lbs that I gave up. It took me three weeks to get back on trackk, and I think I'm back doing okay again. Just put it behind you, you can't change what's happened, just look forward and set small achievable goals. If you're feeling tired/sluggish, make sure that you're eating enough, don't try starving yourself. Keep an eye on your nutrition stats too, and make sure you're getting enough vit C and iron - even if it means taking supplements. Good luck x

    I read this twice, the second time with tears in my eyes. That's EXACTLY what happened, and I fumbled. Thanks to the ASTONISHING support I got here, I'm 100% back on track today (about 75% yesterday) and I hope to not let it happen again. THANK YOU!
  • gonebeast
    gonebeast Posts: 102 Member
    edited May 2015
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    @CaliforniaRower
    Hey I been at this for 3 years. I started skinny now I got some mass on me, doing w.e not counting anything. This year and the next ones am I serious about the quality of my nutrition but of course we are not perfect. I want to get to at least 10% body fat. I think I'm at 15-18, 170 lbs

    Anyways, I had injuries (knee, shoulders and wrist that still lingers) that made me stop multiple times. Then during a bulk, I went too aggressive. Gained 15 pounds in 2 months. Cellulite appeared on my obliques. I always been active, MMA, boxing, muay thai and weight lifting. Ate relatively healthy. When I saw some bumps on my obliques I wanted to die. Just dying. There are people who never do anything and don't get that. Why me? All my efforts seemed pointless.

    I had to make a decision, either try to fix this, become stronger as a person or let this keep me down. The decisions we make define who we are and I can't imagine myself not trying hard, not training or eating healthy. I wouldn't know who I'd become. Fall, get up, fall, get up stronger this time.