How to convince a family member that her 800/day calories TOTAL (not net) is very unhealthy
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deceived1
Posts: 281 Member
Hey MFP. So, a relative of mine is on a weight loss journey as well. However, she is eating a very low amount of calories per day. Around 800 total. She also is working out a ton, probably around 5 times per week.
What are some very solid articles or stats I should link her to show that she is way under eating?
Anyone have any experience with this?
She is (this are all estimates): ~38 years old, female, about 5'3" and probably around 160 pounds.
What are some very solid articles or stats I should link her to show that she is way under eating?
Anyone have any experience with this?
She is (this are all estimates): ~38 years old, female, about 5'3" and probably around 160 pounds.
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Replies
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If she's just trying it out, she'll probably quit after a week or two, because that's very restrictive and unpleasant. Most people who embark on these silly fad diets don't last long on them, and probably won't do themselves a serious amount of damage in the process. I'd say just stay out of it and let her come to that realization on her own... it probably won't take long.
If she is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder or seems to be at risk of doing herself long term damage, see here for some resources for eating disorders for concerned friends and family members:
nationaleatingdisorders.org/family-and-friends0 -
She needs to go to a psychologist. Eating disorders, and that's what that is, are VERY unhealthy. Maybe she should read some articles about those and the long term effects. They're not pretty and they don't make you pretty0
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If she's just trying it out, she'll probably quit after a week or two, because that's very restrictive and unpleasant. Most people who embark on these silly fad diets don't last long on them, and probably won't do themselves a serious amount of damage in the process. I'd say just stay out of it and let her come to that realization on her own... it probably won't take long.
If she is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder or seems to be at risk of doing herself long term damage, see here for some resources for eating disorders for concerned friends and family members:
nationaleatingdisorders.org/family-and-friends
I agree with this. Plus, if she is not weighing and measuring her food, she's likely getting more than 800 calories.
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Did she ask for your advice? Is she trying to convince you to eat 800 calories/day? If not, I would just leave her be.
We are all free to make our own choices. Chances are, she's eating more than she thinks she is.
While I agree that it is not healthy, and that it can be hard to watch a family member do unhealthy things, it really is not your place to educate her. If she asks your opinion, then give it. Otherwise, lead by example and hope that she learns eventually that what she is doing isn't optimal. Most people who eat that way do not sustain those habits long term. They may develop an eating disorder, but criticism from family members is not going to prevent that. If she has a disordered outlook on food, then that's just who she is.0 -
Is she following a weight loss plan? If its the one I'm thinking about she will move up to a higher calorie intake in a week or two. It is her choice at the end of the day and the more you try and convince her the more she will stick to her guns. If she not on a weight loss plan believe me she will start craving normal foods very soon on her own. I'm not saying its healthy but she is an adult can is responsible for her own body and actions.0
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She has a digital scale and weighs and logs everything. My gut tells me that she doesn't have an eating disorder but is just greatly misinformed about the whole process.
Do you guys think if I linked her, say, a TDEE Calculator, for example, and maybe an article or two (not sure which or if that is a good idea) - that this could help show her that her current plan is not a long-term one?0 -
Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »Did she ask for your advice? Is she trying to convince you to eat 800 calories/day? If not, I would just leave her be.
We are all free to make our own choices. Chances are, she's eating more than she thinks she is.
While I agree that it is not healthy, and that it can be hard to watch a family member do unhealthy things, it really is not your place to educate her. If she asks your opinion, then give it. Otherwise, lead by example and hope that she learns eventually that what she is doing isn't optimal. Most people who eat that way do not sustain those habits long term. They may develop an eating disorder, but criticism from family members is not going to prevent that. If she has a disordered outlook on food, then that's just who she is.
This is also a very valid point. Don't want to come off the wrong way to her. Just want what's best for her - a healthy diet, and for her to healthily achieve her weight goals.
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800 net in calories is also bad.0
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She has a digital scale and weighs and logs everything. My gut tells me that she doesn't have an eating disorder but is just greatly misinformed about the whole process.
Do you guys think if I linked her, say, a TDEE Calculator, for example, and maybe an article or two (not sure which or if that is a good idea) - that this could help show her that her current plan is not a long-term one?
Again, just leave her alone unless she asks your advice.0 -
Do you guys think if I linked her, say, a TDEE Calculator, for example, and maybe an article or two (not sure which or if that is a good idea) - that this could help show her that her current plan is not a long-term one?
I think it's pointless to try to educate people who haven't asked for it. The information is out there and readily available, and if she were truly interested, she'd find it.
Maybe she's gotta stumble through this before she learns from them and is ready to do this the healthy way. Probably, she'll be hungry and grumpy and end up cheating within a week and quitting before two weeks are up. Maybe she'll learn slowly. Maybe she'll never learn.
But by getting involved or trying to set her straight, all you'll likely do is alienate her and put her on the defensive.
If she's an adult and she's not exhibiting signs of an eating disorder, you gotta let her make her own mistakes.0 -
I agree that 800 net is bad but if she is losing, I'm pretty sure she's not going to care that you're giving her good advice.0
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Did she ask for your help? If not, stay out of it.0
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I concur---if she's at 800 per day, it'll be very difficult to maintain, even with drugs, and she'll give up quickly.
More than likely, she's doing like maidentl says and consuming far more than she thinks she's eating.0 -
Alright, thanks for the input everyone. General consensus seems to be to mind my own business. I appreciate all of the input.0
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dolliesdaughter wrote: »Did she ask for your help? If not, stay out of it.
That is hard to do when you see family harming themselves.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »dolliesdaughter wrote: »Did she ask for your help? If not, stay out of it.
That is hard to do when you see family harming themselves.
Agreed...0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »800 net in calories is also bad.
That's what I was thinking, as well. I haven't quite decided whether I think 800 net or 800 total is worse.0 -
I had a coworker that decided she wanted to lose weight before a certain birthday. She ate very low and exercised alot. Her hair started falling out and she developed an eating disorder. When she finally got help, she had to start medications to help with it. When she was losing though, no one could tell her anything. But when she started losing hair, it woke her up very quick!
To this day, she still has issues. She is very very thin but thinks she needs to lose.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »dolliesdaughter wrote: »Did she ask for your help? If not, stay out of it.
That is hard to do when you see family harming themselves.
True, but a little perspective: A short term low calorie diet probably won't do her any serious harm. And it's likely to be short term, since most people can't keep that up very long.
If she's still at it after a month or two, I'd be (a) shocked, and (b) convinced she's probably eating more than she thinks she is.
In the unlikely event that it's (c) and she actually is exhibiting signs of an eating disorder, there are ways you can try to gently steer her towards trying to get some -- professional -- help.
But in most cases, it's the kind of thing where you have to just let people figure it out for themselves.0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »800 net in calories is also bad.
That's what I was thinking, as well. I haven't quite decided whether I think 800 net or 800 total is worse.
800 total calorie intake could have a negative net.
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