fat > skinny-fat > fit (+imgz)

highest - happiest


3 years today.
I am not exactly where I wanted to be by now, but I promised myself to post my story on my third MFP anniversary. If I wasn't half-assing things (mainly food wise), I could have been in my 'desired' shape, but in all fairness, what matters is, that now I'm the healthiest I have ever been. Physically, and getting there mentally too.
So... I signed up three years ago, 19th of May 2012, 6 months after my daughter's birth, to lose weight. Logged it all. My pre- and post pregnancy weight was sort of the same, I was borderline overweight. (167cm - 72kg / 5'5 - 158lbs) I started on the 1200kcal route, and lost around 20kg/40lbs within just 4 months, hitting my lowest, 53kg/116lbs, which put me to borderline underweight. Things have spiralled out of control, my body didn't at all look how I wanted it to, so I thought I needed to lose more. I started to starve on purpose, then came the binge-purge cycle, and gained half of the weight back within a few months. This was around the time, when I realised, I have always been a binge/emotional eater, without knowing it, thus why I was always the chubby girl. Basically have gone from one eating disorder to another.
In February 2013 I decided to get a grip on things, and took up jogging, because more food I guess. I hated (and still dislike) it. I lurked on the forums, reading up success stories, educating myself on how to achieve the look I want to. Learned about nutrition, body fat-lean mass ratio and whatever else.
In April 2013 I bought *the* starter book, NROL4W, and jumped into lifting. And I'm lifting since. It has done wonders to my body, and my mind too. Not going to lie, it does feel like a chore sometimes, I do wake up every so often, thinking, let's just screw it all, I can't be bothered... But it became a habit by now, a lifestyle, a therapy... And as soon as I lift my bum off the sofa and get to finish the first set, I'm all over it, wanting to push myself.
However, I still have issues with bingeing. I'm not ashamed, as I've learnt to accept it, but this doesn't mean I do not fight against it daily. I came far, and I'm trying my best, for me, and that's what really matters.

highest - lowest - healthiest


because squats



dat traps and delts and bicep vein doe