loving yourself not the number on the scale. What I learned through my 90lb loss.

What a heart rending post. I wish I could say the right words to make you feel good about yourself, but I know nothing really sinks in unless it comes from within. I don't know if you've tried counseling with someone who specializes in eating/weight issues, but it did help me when I went through it. But I understand if that's not available to you or you're not interested. In any case, I'm wishing you all the good things in the world, so that someday you will truly love yourself.

I am afraid I may feel the same way as you do when I get to my goal. I used to be very underweight as a teenager and hated my body then, now I still have 25or so lbs to loose (lost 25 already) and I know I will still be picking out the flaws in myself, but I hope I won't. It's not really a number I am looking for, it's looking fit and healthy, no large amounts of fat here and there. I want to be healthy and have the energy to do things with my family and not get any bigger as I get older. I know we are all our worst critics. When I see your picture, I see a very beautiful and healthy looking woman. I know everyone else sees it too. We can't get so down on ourselves. No one is perfect, we all have things we don't like about ourselves, but everyone else isn't seeing it. If people are saying things to you go make you feel like you didn't have any worth when you were heavier, you may need to stay away from them, or say something to make them realize they are total jerks. You were a very beautiful girl in your before picture too, but your current picture, shows me a girl who is beautiful and healthy and can do anything she sets her mind to. Congratulations on your new healthy life and don't let anyone get you down. Maybe a specialized councelor on the subject would be a great help for you.

You've made amazing transformation in many ways. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes for your continued success!

If you want any local friends, my wife and I live just north of Greenville. :-)

Congrats on your success, but honestly this was very depressing. I'm not sure how to feel after reading this. I hope you find your happiness.

sandyskw1967 wrote: »

I understand what you are saying. I have lost 62 so far and have at least 40-60 to go, we,ll see when I get there. I know my body will not be perfect when I get there (lost a lot previously about 25 years ago and regained it) I will never have a bikini body, or a remotely perfect body, I will have some loose skin and there will be clothes I try on at the store that still will not look good on me(no matter what size I am), but I will be healthier,fitter and will have many things that I will like about my body and shape and myself in general. Getting smaller will not make all clothes automatically fit and look good, it will not fix all body areas you don,t like, it will not make everyone like you, you could still get judgements, comments, for anything anyone chooses to dislike about you, it won,t automatically make you like yourself if you don,t already. Thanks for sharing your story, lots of times I think most of us feel everything will be great and the weight loss will fix all our issues, and it couldn,t be further from the truth. Its something I think each individual has to deal with and work through, to get to the best possible place all around in their own life.

This! You are a beautiful girl, inside and out, heavy and thin. Start to believe that and what other's think will begin to be put into perspective. Wish I'd known this when I was your age, trust me. But start learning it now. Demand respect from yourself. You deserve it.

Jenepher,

I agree and I'm so glad to hear someone else talk about this. I've tried explaining this to my husband before but he thinks I'm mad.

I've never liked the idea of being "more acceptable" and being treated differently just because of my size. I've been both skinny and obese (currently obese and working on it). At skinny level I did get attention but until I was big I didn't notice how size changes people's perceptions and you become more invisible ... or worse. Frankly, I'm introverted and I prefer NOT to be the centre of anyone's attention but noticing the difference in treatment annoys the stubborn part of me

Part of me revolts inside about losing weight and how people will say the things you've talked about or "congratulate" me on losing weight. Part of me thinks that I should just stay as is because I am 'me' regardless of my size and I'd like to be appreciated for being myself.

Because I know that, for a lot of people, losing weight is about changing how you look not changing how healthy you are - if they're completely honest.

Anyhow, so glad I read your post

I can relate, I dread seeing certain people in my life because of the well meaning but hurtful *kitten* that comes out of their traps. "I see your taking care of yourself now" "you look great, in fact, my friend was mentioning that you look more like me (says my mother)" do these people even hear themselves talk. You look great and I hope someday you can learn to love your body. It may help to seek counselling. I did before my weight loss journey, it really helped me discover why I was overweight in the first place and forgive myself and whoever else I was blaming for my issues.

I've found that when I'm trying to love my body it helps me to step back and think about all the amazing things it can do.

But when I'm in front of a mirror and I start picking things apart, it helps to talk to myself like I would talk to a friend. We usually refer to our friends with care so I try to talk to myself that way.

However, you might want to talk to a therapist to help you put things in perspective. I've found therapy incredibly helpful for many areas in my life.

Best,
-H

Wow ~ almost the same story here. 235 to 152 and experienced many of the similar feelings. Not perfect then nor am I perfect now or may ever be for that matter. Proud that I accomplished some much & working on strength and health in maintaining more than a number. You appear to be an inspiration to many & look amazing; girl! Be proud and keep up the wonderful healthy journey that you are on!

LAMCDylan wrote: »

First of all, you are gorgeous. I know the mental part can be hard. I struggle with it sometimes too, just as you explain. But I also see how I physically look as only a part of me. Who I am internally; all my beliefs, values, personality, spirituality etc, all make up other parts of me and are equally important. You gotta find balance between body, mind, and soul. I think as a person I am interesting, funny, caring and all that. I prefer people to know and like me for those things rather than my physical appearance or what possessions I have. Try to see exercise and dieting as a way to be more active and physically strong. The physical "attractiveness" is only a consequence of that lifestyle. So many people get into healthy living for vain reasons and therefore it screws with them mentally. The only person you need to impress is yourself. You have to define your own value and worth in life. You have to be one of those people who is happy with yourself on the inside and therefore do not need to compete with others. Life isn't perfect and people aren't perfect, and this is all perfectly fine. Learn to accept this.

^^^This X 1000! I am still working on this type of mindset, but this is really what we should aim for.