self appearance and appreciation and depreciation

jenmarie72011
jenmarie72011 Posts: 25 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I feel terrible I really want to be happy and confident about myself and to do that I need to get into shape, but I also want to do it so I can look better than my boyfriends ex girlfriend who just lost a lot of weight, I know that's silly but for some reason I feel the need to be better than her.

Replies

  • glenelliott5872
    glenelliott5872 Posts: 150 Member
    Do it for yourself. Then you cannot fail.

    The ex girlfriend is probably doing just that
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I'd work on getting some self esteem first...
  • JakeBrownVB
    JakeBrownVB Posts: 399 Member
    edited May 2015
    I'm guessing:

    A. Your young, aka under 25.
    B. Your relationship is less than 1 to maybe 2 years old.
    C. This is your first real relationship.

    You have listed possibly the worst reasons to want to get in shape and unless you find some other motivation, your going to quit I guarantee it. Because those insecurity issues you have right now are going to leave or lessen one day.

    First 4 of my 6 year relationship I was fat and so was my partner. Now we have both been in shape for the last 2 and I have to say, I'm glad we spent those fat and hideous years together lol. It meant the relationship was about more than that. Surely you want yours to be too?
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    jenmarie72011 wrote: »
    I feel terrible I really want to be happy and confident about myself and to do that I need to get into shape, but I also want to do it so I can look better than my boyfriends ex girlfriend who just lost a lot of weight, I know that's silly but for some reason I feel the need to be better than her.

    No.

    To do that, you need to realize that you're valuable, and loveable, REGARDLESS of your shape and size.

    Once you realize your self worth is not tied to the size of your clothes... That your beauty is not dependent on what people see with their eyes... THEN you can be confident.

    And at that point, you become the sexiest and most attractive person.... Because that kind of confidence is rare.

    Sure... Get in shape... That is a great goal. But don't let it be your defining characteristic.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Get in shape to be nice to yourself. You deserve to feel good about yourself.
  • HaibaneReki
    HaibaneReki Posts: 373 Member
    JakeBrownVB wrote: »
    I'm guessing:

    A. Your young, aka under 25.
    B. Your relationship is less than 1 to maybe 2 years old.
    C. This is your first real relationship.

    You have listed possibly the worst reasons to want to get in shape and unless you find some other motivation, your going to quit I guarantee it. Because those insecurity issues you have right now are going to leave or lessen one day.

    First 4 of my 6 year relationship I was fat and so was my partner. Now we have both been in shape for the last 2 and I have to say, I'm glad we spent those fat and hideous years together lol. It meant the relationship was about more than that. Surely you want yours to be too?

    ^^THIS!

    don't degrade Yourself like this. Especially being a girl - Your body is going to change so much so many times anyway. If You're looking for a life long relationship, to have Your "shape" as a foundation is silly.
  • 00figg
    00figg Posts: 111 Member
    ehh...just go to the gym. and then keep going. hopefully your need to change your appearance for others will morph into a desire to keep getting stronger for yourself. that is what is going to keep you going and that is what is going to give you confidence. also? you will no longer care about those other people...
  • pineapple_peach10
    pineapple_peach10 Posts: 239 Member
    JakeBrownVB wrote: »
    I'm guessing:

    A. Your young, aka under 25.
    B. Your relationship is less than 1 to maybe 2 years old.
    C. This is your first real relationship

    Ahh young love <3 I don't miss it lol
  • jenmarie72011
    jenmarie72011 Posts: 25 Member
    Thank you everyone! And you're all right, I shouldn't be doing this to be better than someone else, I should be doing this for me, and solely me.
  • Momma_Raucks
    Momma_Raucks Posts: 69 Member
    jenmarie72011 wrote: »
    Thank you everyone! And you're all right, I shouldn't be doing this to be better than someone else, I should be doing this for me, and solely me.

    "If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value".

    You are beautiful, hes with you because he likes you. Dont be anything else.
  • brianengland
    brianengland Posts: 12 Member
    You're absolutely right...do it for you. However...if being in better shape than the ex is good motivation for you...go for it! At the end of the day, whatever your reasons are...logging your food and exercise is only going to benefit you.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    If your boyfriend doesn't make you feel beautiful and desirable, and you don't do the same for him then you need to think about that

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