single! and wondering

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  • Starrr126
    Starrr126 Posts: 90 Member
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    Some of the things ppl said on here make me laugh. I sometimes feel that way...but then I ask WHY I feel that way.

    If I feel that way because I read stories or hear messages about how the older I get it'll be harder to find someone or for me the stats that educated women stay single longer or don't have children....I try to ignore those stats. I tell myself the choices I make will lead to a better life for me and my family someday and stats never say 100% of ppl end up that way, only it's a trend...and I've never followed trends!

    My thought process is "why am I doing all of this?". I feel like working (to pay for fun) and the fun I have and everything else should be shared with someone. Not just friends, not on message boards, not with family. No offense to anyone. I want someone who is a lover and partner to share my joys and troubles. Someone I can do the same for. Maybe we won't share EVERY interest...and that's cool, I need my ME activities. It's just having a partner in crime would be wonderful, and NO I don't need to just love myself...I DO love myself...that's why I think/know I'd be great for someone else to love too. Haha
  • paigemang♥
    paigemang♥ Posts: 102
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    People shouldn't settle, the right person will come along when you least expect it.

    If I hear that OR "just stop looking, she'll find you" one more time.. someone is getting cut!

    Haaa...I KNOW!!! Grrrr...."just stop looking and he'll be there" .....right...wutever :grumble:
  • CriticalX
    CriticalX Posts: 212 Member
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    I think about that alllll the time. I meet guys, and theyre great and all, but I tend to find flaws with them where I tell myself I can do better...but can I? I either feel like I'm settling....or the guy is way too good for me...never just content in the middle. Maybe we all need therapy lol
    wow my thought!
  • jbond80
    jbond80 Posts: 356 Member
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    I think about that alllll the time. I meet guys, and theyre great and all, but I tend to find flaws with them where I tell myself I can do better...but can I? I either feel like I'm settling....or the guy is way too good for me...never just content in the middle. Maybe we all need therapy lol
    wow my thought!
    I have spent my life settling just because I don't want to be alone.
  • kseier
    kseier Posts: 91 Member
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    psh. i'm not single. i'm in a relationship with my BICEPS...
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    It's better to be alone and happy then alone with someone.
    As long as you have a Rabbit, TV, and Friends what more do you need!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I thought only lucky people got to be in love...and that it just wasn't for everyone, so I focused on being self-sufficient and successful...when I needed him the most, at the most inopportune time, the man of my dreams pile drove into my life...with his 5 year old kid! 4 years later we're gettng married and I have a kid turning 9 in August lol...it happens when you least expect it, just have fun and keep your mind open. My fiance isn't ANYONE that I would ever think I'd end up with, but I have never been happier.
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
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    Right with you!
  • sla0814
    sla0814 Posts: 240
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    I very recently got out of a relationship and I'm looking forward to focusing on myself. I got lost in that relationship and neglected my health, needs, and wants.

    Be thankful for the time you have with yourself! You'll be a better/confident person being content with your life, the current people that are in your life that love you, your goals, your treasures inside of worrying why you DONT have a person in your life....And when that right person comes into you're life, you'll be ready :).
  • jessilea53
    jessilea53 Posts: 87 Member
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    Wow! Everyone seems to be having the same problem as me. You know what Im tired of hearing..."You're so cool and great, why are you still single?" You know if I knew that answer than I probably wouldnt be single anymore, would I?!?! I guess right now with all that has happened to me, Im just going to focus on me and my life. Get healthy again and be happy again with myself . Then maybe Ill be lucky enough to either find that special someone or that special someone from my past will reappear.

    Like others have said, love will shows its beautiful face when you least expect it.
  • CriticalX
    CriticalX Posts: 212 Member
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    I very recently got out of a relationship and I'm looking forward to focusing on myself. I got lost in that relationship and neglected my health, needs, and wants.

    Be thankful for the time you have with yourself! You'll be a better/confident person being content with your life, the current people that are in your life that love you, your goals, your treasures inside of worrying why you DONT have a person in your life....And when that right person comes into you're life, you'll be ready :).
    easy said coming out of a relationship.. tell me that after a couple years of being single! being burned by what u thought was the right person over and over and over!
  • fitnhealthyccthatsme
    fitnhealthyccthatsme Posts: 359 Member
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    Ditto!

    LOL... so that was a "ditto" to needing to work on myself before being concerned with a relationship.

    Maybe I'll learn how these message boards work. :-)
  • sla0814
    sla0814 Posts: 240
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    I understand however I'm just saying to live your life right now to the fullest, without someone! Be happy in today, be happy in your successes without a relationship! You don't need a person in your life to be happy!:) There is a gal out there for you, it's just not the right time...but when she does make her way into your life, you'll be twice as happy because you'll already be living your life to the fullest! Then she can compliment you're already established and successful journey!

    Trust me, I did not like when people said, "Just wait" or "He's out there" or even now "It just wasn't your time." I'm learning from my post break up that the best relationship you can have is with yourself and there is someone out there for everyone...but in the mean time, smile more, laugh often, and be patient...that gal might be someone you know right now!:)

    God Bless
  • DowntimeDesigns
    DowntimeDesigns Posts: 134 Member
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    psh. i'm not single. i'm in a relationship with my BICEPS...

    LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! and same... I mean I kiss them in the mornings and during my workouts... I have pet names for them.. lol... (all j/k, but thats one of my favorite posts I've read on here ever).
  • kelly6485
    kelly6485 Posts: 78
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    I wish I was single. I kno that's bad to say. But i kinda settled since we have kids together. We just kinda exist with each other. Not very exciting or loving. We don't even sleep together and I'm only 22

    How Sad.....That was me a little under a year ago, but, along with all my self changing I decided to take the leap and file for divorce, I refuse to ever "settle" for anyone again
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I very recently got out of a relationship and I'm looking forward to focusing on myself. I got lost in that relationship and neglected my health, needs, and wants.

    Be thankful for the time you have with yourself! You'll be a better/confident person being content with your life, the current people that are in your life that love you, your goals, your treasures inside of worrying why you DONT have a person in your life....And when that right person comes into you're life, you'll be ready :).
    easy said coming out of a relationship.. tell me that after a couple years of being single! being burned by what u thought was the right person over and over and over!

    all this, I got really lost in my soon-to-be-ex-husband and he burned me so many times. I can't wait for this part of my life to be over.
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
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    I very recently got out of a relationship and I'm looking forward to focusing on myself. I got lost in that relationship and neglected my health, needs, and wants.

    Be thankful for the time you have with yourself! You'll be a better/confident person being content with your life, the current people that are in your life that love you, your goals, your treasures inside of worrying why you DONT have a person in your life....And when that right person comes into you're life, you'll be ready :).

    Same here!

    Honestly before I was with my most recent ex, I spent years avoiding relationships like they were a death sentence. And well I was right! Before him I dated guys for a couple of months here and there, had friends with benefits and I was always so much happier then I was when I was in a relationship. I think I will be avoiding relationships for a long time, if not forever!
  • savvystephy
    savvystephy Posts: 4,151 Member
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    psh. i'm not single. i'm in a relationship with my BICEPS...

    LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! and same... I mean I kiss them in the mornings and during my workouts... I have pet names for them.. lol... (all j/k, but thats one of my favorite posts I've read on here ever).

    This was an awesome post. :tongue: Getting a little vain seems to be a side effect of body transformation :wink:
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
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    I feel like maybe you're looking for tough love here. While all the "the right one will come along" pieces of advice are totally true, it's probably hard to take them seriously at the point of cynicism you seem to be at.

    I'm single. I haven't been in a real serious relationship for a few years. I have weeded through what I don't want in a relationship and reached one conclusion:

    LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. Take care of YOUR needs. Take care of YOUR body. Take care of YOUR mind.
    Don't sit and wallow in the fact that you are single...relish it! Take a class, see a stupid movie, buy weird art, listen to Brittney Spears really loud and dance around your living room to "Toxic". Whatever makes you happy or whatever you think is worth the risk: DO IT.

    Don't expect someone to "complete" you. Expect someone to enhance you. Though it feels like it sometimes; I promise you are not doomed to be single forever.

    Keep on keepin' on!
  • Curves73
    Curves73 Posts: 134 Member
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    Newly single after 10 years and dating is interesting to say the least... Lots of freaks out there. I'm thinking about writing a book about it. Lol

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