Binge Eating................ How to stop the emotional roller coaster?

serribrat wrote: »

Hi Charlie, everything you've written resonates nearly exactly with my experience.

I also am chronically depressed, but choose to abstain from medication because I don't want to lose all sense of who I am.

common misconception of what medication can do. yes, some medications can do that but the right medication can work miracles. its a matter of finding the right one with the help of your doctor.
Saying things like that only keeps people from asking for help because they are afraid this will happen.

Due to medication, I found myself admist the fog and swamp of my depression and anxiety

Medication may not be needed for everyone. but let's not perpetuate myths

Moyer,

I can only speak to my experience. Medication is certainly a good option for many, but it is not the only option. I am at a place where I am surviving without medication, a decision which has been acknowledged and supervised by my doctor, and I think that is a reality for lots of people with chronic depression. My doctor and I have been unable to find a medication that alleviates the depression without side effects that are, at least in my opinion, as bad as or worse than the depression itself. If I can cope without it, why not?

I don't appreciate your attempt to invalidate my experience as a "myth" because you disagree with it.

bogvarmint wrote: »

.... I forgive myself and talk to myself as if i would a friend in that position. Whats done is done, try not to make it anyworse, have a bath and a good sleep yada yad....

I think positive self talk and forgiveness, at least as much as we would offer a friend, is so important.

Thank you for sharing your story. And all the replies.. so helpful! I too, am struggling with this battle. Depression sucksss... emotional eating sucks... but it's even harder to find "what is the trigger".. so when someone asks that, what do you say?! I don't know why.. except for I get sad, upset, etc. But there's always more.

@jgnatca: Yes, thank you. Those are a few things that I have been trying to incorporate. But old habits die hard. Not that I CAN'T, because I CAN. Just have to remind myself that I can and will and am good enough, etc. That is where I struggle. That is where the tornado happens.

It's a matter of perfection and being too hard on myself. And I get it. I do, but it's hard going forward and taking steps back to not want to give up. The disappointment is torture in itself.

Charlie003 wrote: »

Depressed people, are not depressed over anything specific. I believe that coddling a depressed individual only ligitimises their mental state. They do not need support, they need empowerment. I am not depressed now. So I can think clearly, but, when it hits, rational thought goes out the window. The trick, is to find something to ground yourself during these times.

I'm quite honestly not sure what you mean by 'empowered'. Are you saying anyone feeling sad should just suck it up and deal? That doesn't work with clinical depression. Granted, there are people that just say they're depressed because they feel sad and just want a happy pill. And there are people that have times when they feel depressed, which is perfectly normal, but they're able to pull out of that. And sometimes pulling out of that requires help and support from friends. Think about it, if you have to deal with the death of a loved one, that'll make you sad and depressed. It should, really. Wouldn't you want your friends and family supporting you through that? Or would you want them 'empowering' you, however you mean it by?

But that kind of sadness is normal in the course of life. Real clinical depression is a chemical problem with the brain. It's a constant undertone to everything you do in your life. It manifests differently for everyone. For me, it's the fail cycle. It's a voice inside my head telling me I suck and just repeated variations of that constantly. I had other issues too, but that was the worse one. My doctor and I tried various things, including getting my B12 back up to normal. That helped, but there was still a lot of issues that I had trouble dealing with. I did eventually go on meds, which helps me keep balanced. It's not a happy pill, it's just something that helps me shut the voice up before it goes on for days. Doing so helps me keep emotions under better control, which allows me to interact with people better. I needed help, which took me a very long time to admit, and I didn't want meds. I still don't like being dependent on them to function normally. But it is what it is.

I am stealing this from some article I saw online, but unfortunately can't remember who wrote it (sorry author!). But the guy said that being in a binge is like having a dream. You don't even know you're in it until it's too late. But you can try to identify some commonalities that occur BEFOREHAND so you can prepare. For me the signs to look out for a possible binge are:

- Being alone. That means my kids are out of the house or asleep and my husband is working late/traveling/etc. This is rare, so I think I end up viewing it as an "opportunity" and then it gets out of control
- Not having what I REALLY want to eat available at home, so I end up going crazy over something mediocre since it never satisfies me.

So when I find myself in the above scenario, my radar is way up and it often prevents me from starting a binge in the first place because I'm aware that this is a strong possibility.

If you can develop a checklist of where/when you typically are during a binge you might be able to catch yourself before it happens. Maybe not every time, but SOME times is better than never.

Charlie, I've definitely had issues with binge eating in the past (that loss of control feeling) and although it wasn't due to depression I think my suggestions might still be relevant for you.

For me, weight loss and fitness are easy, even pleasant, when I am paying attention and my logical brain is in charge. I can rationally assess whether or not a treat is worth it. But every now and then, I used to have binge experiences, usually lasting from 1 hour to 2 days. Essentially for me what happened in those situations was my logical brain seemed to shut off and compulsion would take over. I'd eat food I didn't really want, barely enjoy it, and feel confused about why I was doing it, but it still seemed impossible to stop. It's like my logical brain was disengaged.

What has worked for me is essentially to create mechanisms/scaffolding that force my logical brain to re-engage, to pay attention - mechanisms that don't allow the inertia of a mindless binge to go unchallenged. For example:

- In my phone's address book, the local delivery restaurant names are all "THINK ABOUT IT - Fred's Pizza" or whatever. If I'm on the verge of a mindless binge, that's often enough to wake me up. Having pizza is fine, even if it means going over calories, as long as I am consciously deciding to have pizza. The key is to not be mindless about it.
- I have reminders for a bunch of stuff, for example, a smartphone app that prompts me for a weight update at regular intervals and an app that sends me messages if I don't log any food or workouts for a while. Prevents me from being able to pretend everything is fine if I go off track.
- I journal regularly, and if I notice myself feeling out of control, I write about it before eating anything. This helps me immensely because often the real problem is I am frustrated about something and writing helps me get to the source. Writing also helps me pay active attention to the cravings to see them for what they are.
- I increase the difficulty of getting crap food: if I want ice cream I go out for it. No pints in the fridge means I can't lose control and devour one. Having to drive to the grocery store increases the chance of the brain kicking in.

And overall I have worked for greater self-awareness and tried to understand my eating emotional patterns better. The more I understand, the better I handle it. I still have the urges now and then, but I recognize them for what they are and I can deal with them rationally. It's kind of like being your own psychologist: "Ah, you want to eat an entire pint of ice cream, eh? Why do you think that is? Did you have a hard day? Are you worried about something?" Binging doesn't really happen anymore, happily!

I also make sure that I am eating enough food and enough sleep. I have developed other coping mechanisms for stress and frustration: walking, music, going out for a drink with friends and talking.

Hope this helps!

Thanks for bringing up this problem, Charlie003. I don't consider myself depressed, but, at certain times, my job is relentless. When the stress is high (and gym time is not to be found), I reach for doughnuts, candy bars, or anything that contains unhealthy quantities of sugar. (Normally, I don't have much of a "sweet tooth.") After I inhale two candy bars and a doughnut, I start swimming in self-loathing. What you described differs a bit, but these replies have given me some strategies to consider. Thanks again!

Don't buy the bad foods, and wait. Seriously, drink water, drink tea and just breathe. Wait. While you wait, think repeatedly about how bingeing is just doing you harm. I struggle with it every day. I almost threw away a whole wheel of my favourite thing in the world (cheese) today. Instead, I cut off a few slices and put the rest in the fridge. Because I waited, and thought about it, I made a better decision (and did not waste food). You'll never, ever be cured. Just learn how to deal with it one day at a time. Good luck!