To all of my gym rats!!
jtraska594
Posts: 35 Member
Need your help ASAP!!
I know this forum is more about exercise and routines etc. etc. But I don't know where else to turn to at this point. i really need some advice from men who know a lot about bodybuilding and who really go hard at the gym. (Or even if you've seen someone do a 4 hour workout) My boyfriend has been going to the gym for about 9 to 10 years and the gym he has been going to since we've been together is only 10-20 mins away from our house depending on traffic. when i first met him he was at the gym for 2 hours max around 5 days a week. He stopped that routine for almost 2 years and started going 3 days a week for only 2 hours i believe. Recently since about around 4 or 5 months ago maybe 3 he started going for 3 hours then it progressed to 4. He is very muscular and looks like he works hard but 4 hours? that just sounds ridiculous. I have heard some people going for longer than 2 hour and I do also understand there are people who are addicted to the gym and could be the case, but i just have a feeling it may be more. I do not have a car to go to the gym to see what's really going on and is really hard to get there by bus. really do not know what to do at this moment and just need some advice about this situation and what other people may think this sounds like
I know this forum is more about exercise and routines etc. etc. But I don't know where else to turn to at this point. i really need some advice from men who know a lot about bodybuilding and who really go hard at the gym. (Or even if you've seen someone do a 4 hour workout) My boyfriend has been going to the gym for about 9 to 10 years and the gym he has been going to since we've been together is only 10-20 mins away from our house depending on traffic. when i first met him he was at the gym for 2 hours max around 5 days a week. He stopped that routine for almost 2 years and started going 3 days a week for only 2 hours i believe. Recently since about around 4 or 5 months ago maybe 3 he started going for 3 hours then it progressed to 4. He is very muscular and looks like he works hard but 4 hours? that just sounds ridiculous. I have heard some people going for longer than 2 hour and I do also understand there are people who are addicted to the gym and could be the case, but i just have a feeling it may be more. I do not have a car to go to the gym to see what's really going on and is really hard to get there by bus. really do not know what to do at this moment and just need some advice about this situation and what other people may think this sounds like
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I've had a few sessions that lasted 4 hours but usually they are 2 hours max.
Without PEDs 4 hours seems overkill. I'd be physically unable to move.
The only reason I'd stay at the gym for 4 hours is to get away from the outside world to do something I enjoy.
That being said I have had sessions that lasted way over 2 hours just because I love it (sounds like your boyfriend does too)0 -
4 hrs? Some people are bad with time management at the gym, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions yet OP, but you should definitely talk to him about it. Tell him it's bugging you that he is gone so long. Possibly he is using it as an escape. Exercise is cheap therapy, he might be using it that way too. Best way to find out is suck it up and just go when he does.
Unless he is a professional bodybuilder and is seriously training for large-scale competitions, even most full body workouts take 2 hours max to complete. I know a couple amateur bodybuilders that are in and out of the gym in under 90 minutes every day.0 -
Have you asked him about this change? Or ask him what he does? Ya know....communicate (therein may lie the root of the issue)...
That being said....4 hours seems like A LOT of time. I can easily spend a couple hours there, with working out, and then hitting the jacuzzi and shower. But 4 hours? Wow. I hear you.0 -
i can easily put in 2-2.5 hours doing my program. If im chatting with friends between sets it can run into 3 hours. I spend longer at the gym when i don't wanna go home. Give him a reason to wanna come home.0
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I've asked about his routine and he has told me he does 6 diff exercises, 3 sets of each exersizes 12 reps. Sometimes 20 if the weight is lighter. He usually does 2 -3 muscle groups. So one day he will do biceps, triceps. The next day he will do legs shoulders, and so on. His muscle groups are split up into 4 daysCarlydogsMom wrote: »Have you asked him about this change? Or ask him what he does? Ya know....communicate (therein may lie the root of the issue)...
That being said....4 hours seems like A LOT of time. I can easily spend a couple hours there, with working out, and then hitting the jacuzzi and shower. But 4 hours? Wow. I hear you.
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That could be it but that's not my main concern since he comes home from work usually really early and stays home until he goes to the gym. I'm more worried about that he may be doing something on the side before or after his "workout" that I would not be okay with.i can easily put in 2-2.5 hours doing my program. If im chatting with friends between sets it can run into 3 hours. I spend longer at the gym when i don't wanna go home. Give him a reason to wanna come home.
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jtraska594 wrote: »I've asked about his routine and he has told me he does 6 diff exercises, 3 sets of each exersizes 12 reps. Sometimes 20 if the weight is lighter. He usually does 2 -3 muscle groups. So one day he will do biceps, triceps. The next day he will do legs shoulders, and so on. His muscle groups are split up into 4 daysCarlydogsMom wrote: »Have you asked him about this change? Or ask him what he does? Ya know....communicate (therein may lie the root of the issue)...
That being said....4 hours seems like A LOT of time. I can easily spend a couple hours there, with working out, and then hitting the jacuzzi and shower. But 4 hours? Wow. I hear you.
If he's doing 3x12 of 6 exercises ,there's no way he would be taking 4 hours.
Unless he's very poorly managing his time0 -
jtraska594 wrote: »That could be it but that's not my main concern since he comes home from work usually really early and stays home until he goes to the gym. I'm more worried about that he may be doing something on the side before or after his "workout" that I would not be okay with.i can easily put in 2-2.5 hours doing my program. If im chatting with friends between sets it can run into 3 hours. I spend longer at the gym when i don't wanna go home. Give him a reason to wanna come home.
So then what is the point of your thread? You think he's doing something other than working out. How is this fitness related? Maybe post it in the chit chat area?0 -
jtraska594 wrote: »That could be it but that's not my main concern since he comes home from work usually really early and stays home until he goes to the gym. I'm more worried about that he may be doing something on the side before or after his "workout" that I would not be okay with.i can easily put in 2-2.5 hours doing my program. If im chatting with friends between sets it can run into 3 hours. I spend longer at the gym when i don't wanna go home. Give him a reason to wanna come home.
Doesn't sound like the problem is the gym.
This is a relationship question, not a fitness question. Your common sense should know that if he's gone from standard 2 hour workouts, to suddenly doing 4+ hours, there's a reason for the change that isn't the gym.
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Well i know plenty of married people at my gym that are hitting a back room between sets. Or those early morning runs just to meet someone around the block and hop in their car for a 'drive'. anything is possible. Good luck with that. Put a GPS tracker in his car and stalk him.0
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It is fitness related because all I really want to know is, is it really possible to workout for 4 hours 4 days a week for a man? a man who really lifts and has a "the rock" body type and figure and is almost as big as someone like the rock. Thought putting it in the fitness section would guarantee some good responses and advice from real body builders who do not competejtraska594 wrote: »That could be it but that's not my main concern since he comes home from work usually really early and stays home until he goes to the gym. I'm more worried about that he may be doing something on the side before or after his "workout" that I would not be okay with.i can easily put in 2-2.5 hours doing my program. If im chatting with friends between sets it can run into 3 hours. I spend longer at the gym when i don't wanna go home. Give him a reason to wanna come home.
So then what is the point of your thread? You think he's doing something other than working out. How is this fitness related? Maybe post it in the chit chat area?
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Look, if you think something is wrong to the point where you're asking a bunch of internet strangers whether something seems wrong, there's probably something wrong.
Either way, it's obvious that you don't trust him, either because he is not worthy of your trust or because you're not in a space mentally where you're able to trust people.
Why would you want to be with someone you don't trust?0 -
But are you talking about big men who definitely look like they work really hard on their body or are we talking about the average man who goes to the gym or it just doesn't matter?Well i know plenty of married people at my gym that are hitting a back room between sets. Or those early morning runs just to meet someone around the block and hop in their car for a 'drive'. anything is possible. Good luck with that. Put a GPS tracker in his car and stalk him.
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That is what my common sense is telling me but then I think of ppl who are really addicted to the gym. Just don't know what to think so just need some adviceSarah4fitness wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »That could be it but that's not my main concern since he comes home from work usually really early and stays home until he goes to the gym. I'm more worried about that he may be doing something on the side before or after his "workout" that I would not be okay with.i can easily put in 2-2.5 hours doing my program. If im chatting with friends between sets it can run into 3 hours. I spend longer at the gym when i don't wanna go home. Give him a reason to wanna come home.
Doesn't sound like the problem is the gym.
This is a relationship question, not a fitness question. Your common sense should know that if he's gone from standard 2 hour workouts, to suddenly doing 4+ hours, there's a reason for the change that isn't the gym.
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jtraska594 wrote: »It is fitness related because all I really want to know is, is it really possible to workout for 4 hours 4 days a week for a man? a man who really lifts and has a "the rock" body type and figure and is almost as big as someone like the rock. Thought putting it in the fitness section would guarantee some good responses and advice from real body builders who do not competejtraska594 wrote: »That could be it but that's not my main concern since he comes home from work usually really early and stays home until he goes to the gym. I'm more worried about that he may be doing something on the side before or after his "workout" that I would not be okay with.i can easily put in 2-2.5 hours doing my program. If im chatting with friends between sets it can run into 3 hours. I spend longer at the gym when i don't wanna go home. Give him a reason to wanna come home.
So then what is the point of your thread? You think he's doing something other than working out. How is this fitness related? Maybe post it in the chit chat area?
Yes it is possible. Your problem is not based on possibilities though. It's an issue of probability. And that's something you have to figure out. Strangers on the internet can't tell you what's going on in your relationship.0 -
jtraska594 wrote: »But are you talking about big men who definitely look like they work really hard on their body or are we talking about the average man who goes to the gym or it just doesn't matter?
anyone at the gym. looks or size doesnt matter. 4 hours a day at the gym 4 times a week isn't necessarily unreasonable,. If he's doing a few hours lifting and an hour cardio. Its a bit excessive but not totally alarming to me, If the rest of your relationship is good, then why worry. If you suspect something, then go with your suspicious. I can spend up to 2.5 hours with my trainer at the gym, and 2 hours round trip commute. When i'm training for a meet, i'm gone 4 days a week and not home until 10 at night. if my boyfriend ever questioned my gym time, i'd tell him to get lost.
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Does his gym have recreational stuff? Hot tub, sauna, etc that he might be spending time in after his workout? Or a place to get a protein shake where he might get talking with gym friends?
I dunno, I would go the "communicate with him" route. If you're worrying for nothing, it can be solved with a conversation, and if there's something else going on (an addiction or infidelity or avoiding you) then a conversation is the simplest way to find out.0 -
I have a lot of reasons behind what I am doing. I have trust issues because of things that happened in this relationship. Never had such bad trust issues with a man.PeachyPlum wrote: »Look, if you think something is wrong to the point where you're asking a bunch of internet strangers whether something seems wrong, there's probably something wrong.
Either way, it's obvious that you don't trust him, either because he is not worthy of your trust or because you're not in a space mentally where you're able to trust people.
Why would you want to be with someone you don't trust?
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My workouts last about an hour. I don't feel like I'm making any more gains after that. I have my head phones on so I'm not very sociable at the gym so I don't get caught up in too many conversations. I see some of the regular guys who know everybody chatting quite a lot with others and it can be quite a social thing for some people because they are like minded and there for the same reason. People chat to the guys on reception, chat to other staff, chat to their friends/workout partners etc as well as getting their routine done. So it's probably something like that in his defense. Saying that, their is a hell of a lot of fit girls at the gym!!
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interesting story. Maybe he is finding excuses to stay longer away from home. I wonder why.0
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He's only doing cardio 1 day per week
I do also know people can be addicted but idk if that's the case with himjtraska594 wrote: »But are you talking about big men who definitely look like they work really hard on their body or are we talking about the average man who goes to the gym or it just doesn't matter?
anyone at the gym. looks or size doesnt matter. 4 hours a day at the gym 4 times a week isn't necessarily unreasonable,. If he's doing a few hours lifting and an hour cardio. Its a bit excessive but not totally alarming to me, If the rest of your relationship is good, then why worry. If you suspect something, then go with your suspicious. I can spend up to 2.5 hours with my trainer at the gym, and 2 hours round trip commute. When i'm training for a meet, i'm gone 4 days a week and not home until 10 at night. if my boyfriend ever questioned my gym time, i'd tell him to get lost.
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jtraska594 wrote: »I have a lot of reasons behind what I am doing. I have trust issues because of things that happened in this relationship. Never had such bad trust issues with a man.PeachyPlum wrote: »Look, if you think something is wrong to the point where you're asking a bunch of internet strangers whether something seems wrong, there's probably something wrong.
Either way, it's obvious that you don't trust him, either because he is not worthy of your trust or because you're not in a space mentally where you're able to trust people.
Why would you want to be with someone you don't trust?
Trust issues. Well you more likely have the answer already.0 -
ask him to take you with him one day, if he squirms about it for any reason, dump him. If he is happy and proud to take you, keep him.0
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So, 240 minutes, minus drive time, 18 sets puts him at around 11 minutes per set. Even when I'm doing heavy deadlifts it doesn't take me 11 minutes per set. I can spend a solid 15-20 minutes doing an intense deadlift, squat, or clean routine, but if he's doing a split I don't see a lot of long winded sets. Maybe 3-4 minutes per set on the high side, with a lifting buddy working alongside.
When I went to the gym that wasn't attached to my house it was a 30 minute drive both ways, and I typically stopped at the grocery store on the way home and I didn't take four hours. I'd say there are some extra curricular activities going on, but that's between you and him, and I don't know why you decided to broadcast it to the world over the internet, just ask him what the deal is.
Rigger0 -
He's only doing cardio 1 day per week
I do also know people can be addicted but idk if that's the case with him. The relationship is okay not the best. Have trust issues for a reason (not that I caught him cheating) but similar situation that I am not 100% sure about that he keeps denying. He has been talking about having kids and marriage a lot. Want to figure this out before I make a horrible decision. Would love to find a way to his gym but do not have a carjtraska594 wrote: »But are you talking about big men who definitely look like they work really hard on their body or are we talking about the average man who goes to the gym or it just doesn't matter?
anyone at the gym. looks or size doesnt matter. 4 hours a day at the gym 4 times a week isn't necessarily unreasonable,. If he's doing a few hours lifting and an hour cardio. Its a bit excessive but not totally alarming to me, If the rest of your relationship is good, then why worry. If you suspect something, then go with your suspicious. I can spend up to 2.5 hours with my trainer at the gym, and 2 hours round trip commute. When i'm training for a meet, i'm gone 4 days a week and not home until 10 at night. if my boyfriend ever questioned my gym time, i'd tell him to get lost.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I have a lot of reasons behind what I am doing. I have trust issues because of things that happened in this relationship. Never had such bad trust issues with a man.PeachyPlum wrote: »Look, if you think something is wrong to the point where you're asking a bunch of internet strangers whether something seems wrong, there's probably something wrong.
Either way, it's obvious that you don't trust him, either because he is not worthy of your trust or because you're not in a space mentally where you're able to trust people.
Why would you want to be with someone you don't trust?
Trust issues. Well you more likely have the answer already.
It hurts me to say this, but I'm afraid he is both a gym rat...and a love rat.
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He's definitely hooking up with multiple women at the gym0
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I am asking other people because even if I ask him he will not tell me that truth. Want to know what people who really workout and have the rock body type and size would say this situation sounds like
He's only doing cardio 1 day per week
I do also know people can be addicted but idk if that's the case with him. The relationship is okay not the best. Have trust issues for a reason (not that I caught him cheating) but similar situation that I am not 100% sure about that he keeps denying. He has been talking about having kids and marriage a lot. Want to figure this out before I make a horrible decision. Would love to find a way to his gym but do not have a carjtraska594 wrote: »But are you talking about big men who definitely look like they work really hard on their body or are we talking about the average man who goes to the gym or it just doesn't matter?
anyone at the gym. looks or size doesnt matter. 4 hours a day at the gym 4 times a week isn't necessarily unreasonable,. If he's doing a few hours lifting and an hour cardio. Its a bit excessive but not totally alarming to me, If the rest of your relationship is good, then why worry. If you suspect something, then go with your suspicious. I can spend up to 2.5 hours with my trainer at the gym, and 2 hours round trip commute. When i'm training for a meet, i'm gone 4 days a week and not home until 10 at night. if my boyfriend ever questioned my gym time, i'd tell him to get lost.navyrigger46 wrote: »So, 240 minutes, minus drive time, 18 sets puts him at around 11 minutes per set. Even when I'm doing heavy deadlifts it doesn't take me 11 minutes per set. I can spend a solid 15-20 minutes doing an intense deadlift, squat, or clean routine, but if he's doing a split I don't see a lot of long winded sets. Maybe 3-4 minutes per set on the high side, with a lifting buddy working alongside.
When I went to the gym that wasn't attached to my house it was a 30 minute drive both ways, and I typically stopped at the grocery store on the way home and I didn't take four hours. I'd say there are some extra curricular activities going on, but that's between you and him, and I don't know why you decided to broadcast it to the world over the internet, just ask him what the deal is.
Rigger
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Have you ever met or seen someone who looks like the rock and works out for THAT long?slideaway1 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I have a lot of reasons behind what I am doing. I have trust issues because of things that happened in this relationship. Never had such bad trust issues with a man.PeachyPlum wrote: »Look, if you think something is wrong to the point where you're asking a bunch of internet strangers whether something seems wrong, there's probably something wrong.
Either way, it's obvious that you don't trust him, either because he is not worthy of your trust or because you're not in a space mentally where you're able to trust people.
Why would you want to be with someone you don't trust?
Trust issues. Well you more likely have the answer already.
It hurts me to say this, but I'm afraid he is both a gym rat...and a love rat.
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Can you suggest to go and work out with him one evening out of the blue. Lets see him sustain a four hour workout then with you watching him whilst do a little light cardio.
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