Anyone else doing the cabbage & espresso cleanse?

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2

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  • Jaxxie1181
    Jaxxie1181 Posts: 138 Member
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    True story. My sister was dating a guy who decided to lose weight he was going to do a master cleanse that involved drinking a gallon of distilled water mixed with baking soda, lemon juice, and hot sauce right before bed. He had explosive diarrhea all over her in the bed that night. Trufax.
  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
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    MrM27 wrote: »
    Honestly all I can think of when picturing those 2 things together is having to lock myself in the bathroom with matches to burn.

    And plenty of reading material
  • pollypocket1021
    pollypocket1021 Posts: 533 Member
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    MrM27 wrote: »
    Honestly all I can think of when picturing those 2 things together is having to lock myself in the bathroom with matches to burn.

    In my defense, they weren't technically together, just coexisted on the same day.
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
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    Jaxxie1181 wrote: »
    True story. My sister was dating a guy who decided to lose weight he was going to do a master cleanse that involved drinking a gallon of distilled water mixed with baking soda, lemon juice, and hot sauce right before bed. He had explosive diarrhea all over her in the bed that night. Trufax.

    Oh, that just sounds like he was drinking that awful stuff, 'prepping' for a colonoscopy . . . That is awful! I think that would be justifiable homicide if that happened to me . . . (or twin beds would have come in handy). :blush:
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    edited June 2015
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    Jaxxie1181 wrote: »
    True story. My sister was dating a guy who decided to lose weight he was going to do a master cleanse that involved drinking a gallon of distilled water mixed with baking soda, lemon juice, and hot sauce right before bed. He had explosive diarrhea all over her in the bed that night. Trufax.

    Well, that's enough Mfp for me tonight. :wtf:
  • candacekate
    candacekate Posts: 4 Member
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    This entire thread had me cackling. You guys are so open and hilarious
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    Narcissora wrote: »
    Just make sure you are eating at least 1200 calories of cabbage or you will go into starvation mode. :p
    ceoverturf wrote: »
    Is it gluten free, paleo, clean, & keto approved?
    Azdak wrote: »

    Not if you break it up into six cabbage meals a day. That will keep your metabolism boosted up.

    Do you guys have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

    :)
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I think my 'best' cleanse is the alcoholic cider cleanse. Man, I like that stuff but it does NOT like me.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    I started Biggby's White Lightning cleanse today so you have my sympathy.
  • FitForL1fe
    FitForL1fe Posts: 1,872 Member
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    Jaxxie1181 wrote: »
    True story. My sister was dating a guy who decided to lose weight he was going to do a master cleanse that involved drinking a gallon of distilled water mixed with baking soda, lemon juice, and hot sauce right before bed. He had explosive diarrhea all over her in the bed that night. Trufax.

    looooool :joy:
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    mamapeach910 wrote: »
    I am doing the "I've lost almost 43 pounds and my thyroid is whacked out because my medication needs to be adjusted" cleanse.

    Endo appointment is in July. I hope the cleanse doesn't last until then. The weight loss rate is PHENOMENAL, though.
    It would never sell because of how small the font would have to be to fit all that on a magazine cover.
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member
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    My favorite cleanse is the dirty Chinese food cleanse. I go to the greasiest place I know and order up some pork fried rice, General Tso's/Gau's chicken and some crab rangoon. The next day the cleansing begins. I usually experience 3-4 cleansings throughout the day actually.
  • andympanda
    andympanda Posts: 763 Member
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    pollypocket1021 wrote: »
    I may have made some less than smart food choices today...

    :/

    This cleanse is more full of crap then others.

  • crazyjerseygirl
    crazyjerseygirl Posts: 1,252 Member
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    Wait, there's espresso? WHO HAS THE ESPRESSO?!???
  • bpetrosky
    bpetrosky Posts: 3,911 Member
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    Is it a suppository?
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    I was on a cleanse for years until I stopped drinking "Up & Go" for breakfast. That's bad stuff.
  • Azexas
    Azexas Posts: 4,334 Member
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    I've done the Lean Pocket cleanse :s 0/10 do not recommend
  • SherrieTrifle
    SherrieTrifle Posts: 148 Member
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    This sounds like my regular diet.
  • coreyreichle
    coreyreichle Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I prefer either the Sugar Free Haribo Cleanse, or the 6 PBR's and a krispy kreme cleanse.

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