Anyone else doing the cabbage & espresso cleanse?

pollypocket1021
pollypocket1021 Posts: 533 Member
edited November 19 in Chit-Chat
I may have made some less than smart food choices today...

:/
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Replies

  • barbecuesauce
    barbecuesauce Posts: 1,771 Member
    No, but I ate a processed food earlier and I think I have been toxinated? Is this a three-day deal or
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,334 Member
    Do you do this orally or...
  • PeachyCarol
    PeachyCarol Posts: 8,029 Member
    I am doing the "I've lost almost 43 pounds and my thyroid is whacked out because my medication needs to be adjusted" cleanse.

    Endo appointment is in July. I hope the cleanse doesn't last until then. The weight loss rate is PHENOMENAL, though.
  • pollypocket1021
    pollypocket1021 Posts: 533 Member
    edited June 2015
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Do you do this orally or...

    Lol. I was not planning on getting "cleansed" today. Too much fiber and caffeine...

    Trying to look on the bright side. Like the fact that some people do this to themselves on purpose.
  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,008 Member
    This sounds like a nightmare for anyone within a 1 mile radius of you.
  • DeguelloTex
    DeguelloTex Posts: 6,652 Member
    I can't even tell reality from satire on here anymore.
  • Wiseandcurious
    Wiseandcurious Posts: 730 Member
    I usually do a pear and espresso cleanse :) But the most inadvertently "successful" one I've done was the ice-cream and beer cleanse. Freezes, drowns and intoxicates all your bugs at the same time :) and ensures you catch up on all your washroom reading.
  • FitForL1fe
    FitForL1fe Posts: 1,872 Member
    sounds like a hot mess
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Wiseandcurious wrote: »
    I usually do a pear and espresso cleanse :) But the most inadvertently "successful" one I've done was the ice-cream and beer cleanse. Freezes, drowns and intoxicates all your bugs at the same time :) and ensures you catch up on all your washroom reading.

    SO who do I call for a good time these days?
  • pollypocket1021
    pollypocket1021 Posts: 533 Member
    shrinkingletters wrote: »
    This sounds like a nightmare for anyone within a 1 mile radius of you.

    Thank god I'm charming, otherwise this would be unforgivable.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    edited June 2015
    I might consider it if I wanted to be glued to my toilet for a few days.
  • Narcissora
    Narcissora Posts: 197 Member
    Just make sure you are eating at least 1200 calories of cabbage or you will go into starvation mode. :p
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
    Narcissora wrote: »
    Just make sure you are eating at least 1200 calories of cabbage or you will go into starvation mode. :p

    Not if you break it up into six cabbage meals a day. That will keep your metabolism boosted up.
  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
    Is it gluten free, paleo, clean, & keto approved?
  • iheartdinosaurs
    iheartdinosaurs Posts: 45 Member
    Sounds suspiciously like my daily routine during my year in Ethiopia... Ahhh *reminiscing*
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Dont forget to add in isagenix ,shakeology,and all those other mlm scams....i hear theyre great for cleansing!!!
    Just kidding

  • pollypocket1021
    pollypocket1021 Posts: 533 Member
    Really, no ones gonna do a sympathy cleanse with me?????
  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,008 Member
    Sympathy, no.
  • juliebowman4
    juliebowman4 Posts: 784 Member
    I have this really cool thing that automatically cleanses for me!
    It's called a liver
  • FitForL1fe
    FitForL1fe Posts: 1,872 Member
    juliebowman4 wrote: »
    I have this really cool thing that automatically cleanses for me!
    It's called a liver

    tell me more
  • Jaxxie1181
    Jaxxie1181 Posts: 138 Member
    True story. My sister was dating a guy who decided to lose weight he was going to do a master cleanse that involved drinking a gallon of distilled water mixed with baking soda, lemon juice, and hot sauce right before bed. He had explosive diarrhea all over her in the bed that night. Trufax.
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  • juggernaut1974
    juggernaut1974 Posts: 6,212 Member
    MrM27 wrote: »
    Honestly all I can think of when picturing those 2 things together is having to lock myself in the bathroom with matches to burn.

    And plenty of reading material
  • pollypocket1021
    pollypocket1021 Posts: 533 Member
    MrM27 wrote: »
    Honestly all I can think of when picturing those 2 things together is having to lock myself in the bathroom with matches to burn.

    In my defense, they weren't technically together, just coexisted on the same day.
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
    Jaxxie1181 wrote: »
    True story. My sister was dating a guy who decided to lose weight he was going to do a master cleanse that involved drinking a gallon of distilled water mixed with baking soda, lemon juice, and hot sauce right before bed. He had explosive diarrhea all over her in the bed that night. Trufax.

    Oh, that just sounds like he was drinking that awful stuff, 'prepping' for a colonoscopy . . . That is awful! I think that would be justifiable homicide if that happened to me . . . (or twin beds would have come in handy). :blush:
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    edited June 2015
    Jaxxie1181 wrote: »
    True story. My sister was dating a guy who decided to lose weight he was going to do a master cleanse that involved drinking a gallon of distilled water mixed with baking soda, lemon juice, and hot sauce right before bed. He had explosive diarrhea all over her in the bed that night. Trufax.

    Well, that's enough Mfp for me tonight. :wtf:
  • candacekate
    candacekate Posts: 4 Member
    This entire thread had me cackling. You guys are so open and hilarious
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Narcissora wrote: »
    Just make sure you are eating at least 1200 calories of cabbage or you will go into starvation mode. :p
    ceoverturf wrote: »
    Is it gluten free, paleo, clean, & keto approved?
    Azdak wrote: »

    Not if you break it up into six cabbage meals a day. That will keep your metabolism boosted up.

    Do you guys have a newsletter I can subscribe to?

    :)
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,334 Member
    I think my 'best' cleanse is the alcoholic cider cleanse. Man, I like that stuff but it does NOT like me.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    I started Biggby's White Lightning cleanse today so you have my sympathy.
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