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Telling people to "smile."

12346

Replies

  • MonsoonStorm
    MonsoonStorm Posts: 371 Member
    999tigger wrote: »

    Perhaps it's a cultural thing. As a Brit the "smile" thing is incredibly common and carries no weight or meaning. Sometimes the acknowledgement that somebody notices your pain/misery is actually reassuring when you're depressed. Sometimes it is used out of genuine interest.

    "Have a nice day" on the other hand annoys the heck out of me. I find it fake, meaningless and forced. But then, like I said, I'm a miserable Brit. So I ignore it and chalk it down to a cultural quirk.

    You dont speak for all Brits, so no its not cultural. or it can actually be intrusive and irksome.

    I said "perhaps"...

    Oh my goodness this forums is full of nark this past couple of days...
  • haleklausen
    haleklausen Posts: 1,857 Member
    Well if it's a good environment then I will be kick back and smile, but if it's awkward moment I'll look at him as if he's crazy.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 7,030 Member
    I do not have to smile to be happy. And I do not have to smile because someone tells me to.

    A bus driver once told a woman who got on the bus to smile and she retorted, "I'm German, we don't smile." Well, I'm not German, but I only smile when I want to.

    68m614ipu62n.jpg
  • buffer221
    buffer221 Posts: 4,751 Member
    Always smile, it worries people >:)
  • mcguvs
    mcguvs Posts: 54 Member
    :)
  • Omar_Apocrypha
    Omar_Apocrypha Posts: 794 Member
    edited June 2015
    I have many problems in my life .
    But my lips don't know that .
    -They always smile.
    ...................................................................................................... Charlie Chaplin :)
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    zyxst wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.

    Don't overanalyse things.

    I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol

    Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
    tumblr_inline_n9bzzyONyb1rg3gnz.gif

    Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.

    For some reason this sounds like "I'm a nice guy"-ism.
  • tretoptreece
    tretoptreece Posts: 425 Member
    Depends on my mood. Most times I would probably nod and at least give an attempt at a smile and say "Yeah, I suppose." or something like that. If he caught me on a bad day, I would probably misinterpret his meaning and instead hear this in my head:

    uh-oh-sounds.jpg

    Then depending on the shop, I would probably leave before I smashed something.

    Bwhahaha for some reason I see you smashing your food with your fist lol.
  • tretoptreece
    tretoptreece Posts: 425 Member
    And to how it feels- no one really wants someone else, especially a stranger, telling them how to run their own emotions or expressions. So ultimately irritating.

    Seriously. Some guy at my last gym went bananas after he went out of his way to get my attention (I was on the leg press, with my earbuds in listening to music, you know, BUSY), to ask me why I wasn't smiling. I was SO annoyed. Really? You stopped me in the middle of exercising to ask me to smile? Why? I told him I wasn't smiling because I was there to work, not to look pretty for anyone there. As I went to put my earbuds back in, he tried grabbing my arm to argue with me. I yanked away and went to the counter to let someone know and he followed yelling about how I was a *kitten* and he was just trying to make "conversation".


    Yeah. Okay.


    The problem usually with people who tell strangers to smile, is that they feel these strangers are obligated to do so. It's obnoxious entitled behavior.

    What a psycho!
  • MarziPanda95
    MarziPanda95 Posts: 1,318 Member
    <---observe my username. I have RBF and I don't appreciate people telling me what to do.

    Additionally, I find the "smile!" thing doubly offensive because sometimes people have a legit reason to not be smiling. Depression, hard times and stress are real things, yo. Simply plastering a fake smile on your face and pretending like things are OK is not good, at all.

    There's no need to...

    Shrug, say "yeah" and they will get the message.

    Perhaps it's a cultural thing. As a Brit the "smile" thing is incredibly common and carries no weight or meaning. Sometimes the acknowledgement that somebody notices your pain/misery is actually reassuring when you're depressed. Sometimes it is used out of genuine interest.

    "Have a nice day" on the other hand annoys the heck out of me. I find it fake, meaningless and forced. But then, like I said, I'm a miserable Brit. So I ignore it and chalk it down to a cultural quirk.

    As a fellow Brit... I've had the EXACT opposite experience and I don't agree with you at all! I've actually never had a random stranger tell me to smile. Throughout this thread I thought it was an American thing because I've never heard it - so no, it's not 'incredibly common'. In fact, only my dad has ever said that to me, and he is met with a cold glare. If I don't want to smile, then I don't bloody smile. Nobody can demand that I be happy. On the other hand, 'have a nice day' is not demanding imo. Instead of demanding that you be happy, it's hoping that you will be happy; that you will have a good day. I feel good when I leave a shop and the cashier says 'have a nice day'.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,019 Member
    senecarr wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    zyxst wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.

    Don't overanalyse things.

    I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol

    Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
    tumblr_inline_n9bzzyONyb1rg3gnz.gif

    Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.

    For some reason this sounds like "I'm a nice guy"-ism.

    Then you not reading it right.

  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,785 Member
    emdeesea wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    zyxst wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.

    Don't overanalyse things.

    I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol

    Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
    tumblr_inline_n9bzzyONyb1rg3gnz.gif

    Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.

    Then why not just say "Hi!" or "Good Morning!"

    I don't really understand what's so hard about breaking the ice by just a simple greeting. It's always worked for me.



    But... what if it's not a good morning? Isn't that pretty much the same thing as "smile, it can't be that bad?"




    Hopefully, the (subtle?) point I've tried to make isn't missed.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,827 Member
    edited June 2015
    TR0berts wrote: »
    emdeesea wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    zyxst wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.

    Don't overanalyse things.

    I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol

    Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
    tumblr_inline_n9bzzyONyb1rg3gnz.gif

    Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.

    Then why not just say "Hi!" or "Good Morning!"

    I don't really understand what's so hard about breaking the ice by just a simple greeting. It's always worked for me.



    But... what if it's not a good morning? Isn't that pretty much the same thing as "smile, it can't be that bad?"




    Hopefully, the (subtle?) point I've tried to make isn't missed.

    See but you're right and this is where social cues need to be noticed. If a person is scowling and looking down at the floor when walking, I won't say anything to them, because their cues to me say, "Leave me alone."

    But if I'm walking past someone and they smile or nod at me in a friendly greeting, then I'll say Hi or good morning, because their social cue has suggested they're friendly.

    I can't help it if people are socially stupid and can't or won't pick up on cues.



  • undergloom
    undergloom Posts: 531 Member
    I'm not just going to give you a smile; then it's valueless. Do something to earn it, you freeloader.
  • maeld51
    maeld51 Posts: 3,415 Member
    We're talking smiling people, not donating an organ.
    You grumpy *kitten* people keep on scowling that way the happy people know who to avoid.
  • undergloom
    undergloom Posts: 531 Member
    I'm not scowling; I'm in a deep state of profound introspection. :|
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,827 Member
    edited June 2015
    maeld51 wrote: »
    We're talking smiling people, not donating an organ.
    You grumpy *kitten* people keep on scowling that way the happy people know who to avoid.

    Try being told to "smile! It can't be that bad" on a day you've been to the doctor and been told you can never have children, or on a day you've lost your job, or on a day when your beloved pet has been put to sleep.

    We can't always be happy. A tiny bit of social understanding from strangers would be appreciated sometimes. Because sometimes it is "that bad."

    Jerk.

  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,859 Member
    i hate it.
  • maeld51
    maeld51 Posts: 3,415 Member
    undergloom wrote: »
    I'm not scowling; I'm in a deep state of profound introspection. :|

    Can't br in
    undergloom wrote: »
    I'm not just going to give you a smile; then it's valueless. Do something to earn it, you freeloader.
    emdeesea wrote: »
    maeld51 wrote: »
    We're talking smiling people, not donating an organ.
    You grumpy *kitten* people keep on scowling that way the happy people know who to avoid.

    Try being told to "smile! It can't be that bad" on a day you've been to the doctor and been told you can never have children, or on a day you've lost your job, or on a day when your beloved pet has been put to sleep.

    We can't always be happy. A tiny bit of social understanding from strangers would be appreciated sometimes.

    I have been told to smile by a stranger on a very bad day. I was grateful for the opportunity to realize that I was walking around spreading negativity.
    I have been told the things you listed, lady parts gotta go, you're fired, my beloved Sampson being put down.
    Life, I'm happy to be alive.
    I'm going to smile.

    The Social Understanding you talk about, is mostly absent on this thread.
  • baby_firefly_666
    baby_firefly_666 Posts: 192 Member
    edited June 2015
    Sometimes I think it can be unnecessarily rude and irritating tbh. I get told it a lot because I have a natural resting b**ch face hahaha. I don't like smiling because I hate my smile, I look so ugly when I smile lol.