Telling people to "smile."
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MonsoonStorm wrote: »Kinda like "have a nice day"?
I will NOT have a nice day thank you very much...
You are taking a perfectly innocent saying that has been in use for a long time and making it personal.
Why? All it does it make you feel angry/mad/offended/whatever.
Not really. Context is everything and they can say it with varying motives. If they mean have a nice day or how is your day going then why not ask that? I cna imagine wrong person wrong day then they would find it intrusive and really irksome. Ive had this happen to me when someone has died and it wasnt received kindly.0 -
Had that happen before, I smile and start talking with them. I'm usually happy most of the time anyway, unless I'm thinking about something or making plans.0
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UltimateRBF wrote: »<---observe my username. I have RBF and I don't appreciate people telling me what to do.
Additionally, I find the "smile!" thing doubly offensive because sometimes people have a legit reason to not be smiling. Depression, hard times and stress are real things, yo. Simply plastering a fake smile on your face and pretending like things are OK is not good, at all.
There's no need to...
Shrug, say "yeah" and they will get the message.
Perhaps it's a cultural thing. As a Brit the "smile" thing is incredibly common and carries no weight or meaning. Sometimes the acknowledgement that somebody notices your pain/misery is actually reassuring when you're depressed. Sometimes it is used out of genuine interest.
"Have a nice day" on the other hand annoys the heck out of me. I find it fake, meaningless and forced. But then, like I said, I'm a miserable Brit. So I ignore it and chalk it down to a cultural quirk.0 -
MonsoonStorm wrote: »Kinda like "have a nice day"?
I will NOT have a nice day thank you very much...
You are taking a perfectly innocent saying that has been in use for a long time and making it personal.
Why? All it does it make you feel angry/mad/offended/whatever.
Not really. Context is everything and they can say it with varying motives. If they mean have a nice day or how is your day going then why not ask that? I cna imagine wrong person wrong day then they would find it intrusive and really irksome. Ive had this happen to me when someone has died and it wasnt received kindly.
I guess my post above covers the context part.
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MonsoonStorm wrote: »
Perhaps it's a cultural thing. As a Brit the "smile" thing is incredibly common and carries no weight or meaning. Sometimes the acknowledgement that somebody notices your pain/misery is actually reassuring when you're depressed. Sometimes it is used out of genuine interest.
"Have a nice day" on the other hand annoys the heck out of me. I find it fake, meaningless and forced. But then, like I said, I'm a miserable Brit. So I ignore it and chalk it down to a cultural quirk.
You dont speak for all Brits, so no its not cultural. or it can actually be intrusive and irksome.0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »What's worse is when people tell you "please DON'T smile"
**contains orgasm**
PM me and let it loose.
Let's PMS together!!0 -
MonsoonStorm wrote: »
Perhaps it's a cultural thing. As a Brit the "smile" thing is incredibly common and carries no weight or meaning. Sometimes the acknowledgement that somebody notices your pain/misery is actually reassuring when you're depressed. Sometimes it is used out of genuine interest.
"Have a nice day" on the other hand annoys the heck out of me. I find it fake, meaningless and forced. But then, like I said, I'm a miserable Brit. So I ignore it and chalk it down to a cultural quirk.
You dont speak for all Brits, so no its not cultural. or it can actually be intrusive and irksome.
I've never uttered those words, even to people I KNOW. If it matters, I'm a Brit too.0 -
How about cheer up it wont ever happen or it cant be that bad?0
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I was about to ask you about the rbf on your name. It's why we friends cause I too, have RBF.UltimateRBF wrote: »<---observe my username. I have RBF and I don't appreciate people telling me what to do.
Additionally, I find the "smile!" thing doubly offensive because sometimes people have a legit reason to not be smiling. Depression, hard times and stress are real things, yo. Simply plastering a fake smile on your face and pretending like things are OK is not good, at all.
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What's even worse is when you think you ARE smiling, and someone tells you to smile...0
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I want to slap my co-workers with the all day "are you ok? What's wrong?" to the "are you mad at me?" Which then pisses me off for real and now I'm mad. *kitten* off!0
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Others' happiness is not my responsibility and vice versa. When strangers on the street have told me to smile, I basically just ignore them entirely and pretend I didn't hear.0
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MonsoonStorm wrote: »They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.
Don't overanalyse things.
I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol
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This always annoys me. Or just plain pisses me off. I suffer from depression and I don't need some stranger telling me to smile when they have no clue how I'm feeling.0
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Cindy4FunFit wrote: »And to how it feels- no one really wants someone else, especially a stranger, telling them how to run their own emotions or expressions. So ultimately irritating.
^This. My face naturally looks pissed off, plus I have horrible vision so I often squint (aka glaring). I get pretty offended when people tell me to smile. I had one co worker do this, and then my actually pissed off face and attitude came out and I think my natural face looked pretty friendly afterwards.
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MonsoonStorm wrote: »They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.
Don't overanalyse things.
I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol
Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
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Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.0
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MonsoonStorm wrote: »They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.
Don't overanalyse things.
I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol
Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.
Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
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shrinkingletters wrote: »Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.
Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
Better yet, just leave strangers going about their day-to-day alone? Leave the chit-chat to bars, restaurants, dates, work....0 -
The point you are missing is it can be said in different contexts and some people may find it irritating to have the smile police going round. You might welcome it but other people might not.shrinkingletters wrote: »Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.
Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
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MonsoonStorm wrote: »They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.
Don't overanalyse things.
I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol
Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.
Then why not just say "Hi!" or "Good Morning!"
I don't really understand what's so hard about breaking the ice by just a simple greeting. It's always worked for me.
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shrinkingletters wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.
Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
Better yet, just leave strangers going about their day-to-day alone? Leave the chit-chat to bars, restaurants, dates, work....
Yup thats some real creative Human interacting right there
Look I'm smiling and you didn't even have to ask
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MonsoonStorm wrote: »They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.
Don't overanalyse things.
I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol
Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.
Then why not just say "Hi!" or "Good Morning!"
I don't really understand what's so hard about breaking the ice by just a simple greeting. It's always worked for me.
Its not that hard at all,,a lot of people do just that , The point is a lot of people use that as a hi or a good morning,, they don't mean anything derogatory or mean spirited at all , I dunno maybe I'm just to old to understand .
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shrinkingletters wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.
Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
Better yet, just leave strangers going about their day-to-day alone? Leave the chit-chat to bars, restaurants, dates, work....
Yup thats some real creative Human interacting right there
Look I'm smiling and you didn't even have to ask
I guess I'm just crazy with the understanding that people aren't obligated to interact with me. *shrugs*0 -
The point you are missing is it can be said in different contexts and some people may find it irritating to have the smile police going round. You might welcome it but other people might not.shrinkingletters wrote: »Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.
Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
So that makes them not so full fledged Human being ?0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.
Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
Better yet, just leave strangers going about their day-to-day alone? Leave the chit-chat to bars, restaurants, dates, work....
Yup thats some real creative Human interacting right there
Look I'm smiling and you didn't even have to ask
I guess I'm just crazy with the understanding that people aren't obligated to interact with me. *shrugs*
No you ain't crazy at all,,,, Maybe I'm just to friendly .0 -
The point you are missing is it can be said in different contexts and some people may find it irritating to have the smile police going round. You might welcome it but other people might not.shrinkingletters wrote: »Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.
Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
So that makes them not so full fledged Human being ?
I've seriously never argued this hard to convince complete strangers that they react pleasantly to my completely unsolicited commentary about their face.0
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