Telling people to "smile."

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Replies

  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,031 Member
    Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.

    Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,009 Member
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.

    Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !

    Better yet, just leave strangers going about their day-to-day alone? Leave the chit-chat to bars, restaurants, dates, work....
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,236 Member
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.

    Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
    The point you are missing is it can be said in different contexts and some people may find it irritating to have the smile police going round. You might welcome it but other people might not.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    edited June 2015
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    zyxst wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.

    Don't overanalyse things.

    I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol

    Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
    tumblr_inline_n9bzzyONyb1rg3gnz.gif

    Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.

    Then why not just say "Hi!" or "Good Morning!"

    I don't really understand what's so hard about breaking the ice by just a simple greeting. It's always worked for me.


  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,031 Member
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.

    Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !

    Better yet, just leave strangers going about their day-to-day alone? Leave the chit-chat to bars, restaurants, dates, work....

    Yup thats some real creative Human interacting right there :)
    Look I'm smiling and you didn't even have to ask

  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,031 Member
    emdeesea wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    zyxst wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.

    Don't overanalyse things.

    I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol

    Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.
    tumblr_inline_n9bzzyONyb1rg3gnz.gif

    Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.

    Then why not just say "Hi!" or "Good Morning!"

    I don't really understand what's so hard about breaking the ice by just a simple greeting. It's always worked for me.


    Its not that hard at all,,a lot of people do just that , The point is a lot of people use that as a hi or a good morning,, they don't mean anything derogatory or mean spirited at all , I dunno maybe I'm just to old to understand .
  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,009 Member
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.

    Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !

    Better yet, just leave strangers going about their day-to-day alone? Leave the chit-chat to bars, restaurants, dates, work....

    Yup thats some real creative Human interacting right there :)
    Look I'm smiling and you didn't even have to ask

    I guess I'm just crazy with the understanding that people aren't obligated to interact with me. *shrugs*
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,031 Member
    999tigger wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.

    Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
    The point you are missing is it can be said in different contexts and some people may find it irritating to have the smile police going round. You might welcome it but other people might not.

    So that makes them not so full fledged Human being ?
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,031 Member
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.

    Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !

    Better yet, just leave strangers going about their day-to-day alone? Leave the chit-chat to bars, restaurants, dates, work....

    Yup thats some real creative Human interacting right there :)
    Look I'm smiling and you didn't even have to ask

    I guess I'm just crazy with the understanding that people aren't obligated to interact with me. *shrugs*

    No you ain't crazy at all,,,, Maybe I'm just to friendly .
  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,009 Member
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    999tigger wrote: »
    Tigg_er wrote: »
    Honestly, if your reaction to a complete stranger being upset by your request to appear more pleasant for you is "they're being too uptight/too sensitive", then you don't understand the basics of interacting with full-fledged human people who happen to have thoughts and emotions and lives that you're not aware of. Also really, really self-centered.

    Ya maybe people just shouldn't say anything to anybody,, they could just look at each other and grunt !
    The point you are missing is it can be said in different contexts and some people may find it irritating to have the smile police going round. You might welcome it but other people might not.

    So that makes them not so full fledged Human being ?

    I've seriously never argued this hard to convince complete strangers that they react pleasantly to my completely unsolicited commentary about their face.
  • 460mustang
    460mustang Posts: 196 Member
    I'll say that over the years I have learned to stay away from the unhappy people and to be friendly to the happy people. Unfortunately, there are people that think it is fun to irritate people or to pretend they are being friendly when they are really being rude.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,031 Member
    edited June 2015
    460mustang wrote: »
    I'll say that over the years I have learned to stay away from the unhappy people and to be friendly to the happy people. Unfortunately, there are people that think it is fun to irritate people or to pretend they are being friendly when they are really being rude.

    You know unfortunately that is true. And that probably the part I'm missing.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
    edited June 2015
    Women don't really tell me to smile, but men on the street will. It gets so annoying. I smile for a living (I'm a performer), I smile when I'm happy. But I don't just go walking down the street constantly smiling for other people's entertainment/happiness.
  • MillyFleurs
    MillyFleurs Posts: 57 Member
    If you want to see me smile, tell a good joke or say something pleasant.
  • zcb94
    zcb94 Posts: 4,127 Member
    <---observe my username. I have RBF and I don't appreciate people telling me what to do.

    Additionally, I find the "smile!" thing doubly offensive because sometimes people have a legit reason to not be smiling. Depression, hard times and stress are real things, yo. Simply plastering a fake smile on your face and pretending like things are OK is not good, at all.

    There's no need to...

    Shrug, say "yeah" and they will get the message.

    Perhaps it's a cultural thing. As a Brit the "smile" thing is incredibly common and carries no weight or meaning. Sometimes the acknowledgement that somebody notices your pain/misery is actually reassuring when you're depressed. Sometimes it is used out of genuine interest.

    "Have a nice day" on the other hand annoys the heck out of me. I find it fake, meaningless and forced. But then, like I said, I'm a miserable Brit. So I ignore it and chalk it down to a cultural quirk.
    I've known folks like that. All but one person with whom I regularly speak appreciates being genuinely wished to "have a blessed day!" For me, such a wish shows that my/their joy in life is deep and supernatural, but can definitely offend in the wrong company.
  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
    People have been telling me this all of my life. It annoys the hell out of me and I want to smack anyone who says this to me!!! If I don't want to smile that's my own business.
  • honkytonks85
    honkytonks85 Posts: 668 Member
    I used to have a guy at work tell me this often as I passed. And have had it many more times. People, if you do this, please stop. It's really annoying and disrespectful. You don't know what this persons day/life is like and have no right to ask total strangers to do things just because it makes you feel better. There's no excuse for it - just don't do it!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,347 Member
    I'd probably blow it off because it's not that big of a deal, it's probably someone's misguided attempt to be friendly.

    But here's the thing: Sometimes it IS that serious. And I don't feel obligated to wear a smile I don't feel just make strangers more comfortable.
  • history_grrrl
    history_grrrl Posts: 59 Member
    edited June 2015
    When I was younger, I used to get this all the time from strangers passing me on the street (I'm a woman), and so did all of my women friends. I think of it as somewhere on a continuum with other kinds of street harassment that men do to women; usually it would be, "Smile! You'll look prettier," or "Hey, baby, how 'bout a smile?" or some of the comments others have posted here. (And then if I didn't respond like I was thrilled to smile for them, I'd hear them mutter, "*kitten*!") It wasn't a greeting; it was more like, "You're a woman out in public, which means I have a right to treat you like you're available or here for my benefit somehow." I think that, if you see someone on the street and are in a friendly mood, it's fine to say hi as you pass by. But the smile thing was just creepy; aside from the obvious rudeness, it almost always felt like it was just a few steps away from, "Nice tits!" or "I'd like to eat your *kitten*." There was a lot of that, too. This is an aspect of being young that I really do not miss.
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 21,031 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    I haven't read the thread so forgive me if this has been covered.

    Only men say this. And they only say it to women.

    No only men don't say this, And the majority of the time I have said it to other guys,, maybe its just the Business I'm in. Its said all the time. I just must be weird ,