Telling people to "smile."

I'll say that over the years I have learned to stay away from the unhappy people and to be friendly to the happy people. Unfortunately, there are people that think it is fun to irritate people or to pretend they are being friendly when they are really being rude.

Women don't really tell me to smile, but men on the street will. It gets so annoying. I smile for a living (I'm a performer), I smile when I'm happy. But I don't just go walking down the street constantly smiling for other people's entertainment/happiness.

MonsoonStorm wrote: »

UltimateRBF wrote: »

<---observe my username. I have RBF and I don't appreciate people telling me what to do.

Additionally, I find the "smile!" thing doubly offensive because sometimes people have a legit reason to not be smiling. Depression, hard times and stress are real things, yo. Simply plastering a fake smile on your face and pretending like things are OK is not good, at all.

There's no need to...

Shrug, say "yeah" and they will get the message.

Perhaps it's a cultural thing. As a Brit the "smile" thing is incredibly common and carries no weight or meaning. Sometimes the acknowledgement that somebody notices your pain/misery is actually reassuring when you're depressed. Sometimes it is used out of genuine interest.

"Have a nice day" on the other hand annoys the heck out of me. I find it fake, meaningless and forced. But then, like I said, I'm a miserable Brit. So I ignore it and chalk it down to a cultural quirk.

I've known folks like that. All but one person with whom I regularly speak appreciates being genuinely wished to "have a blessed day!" For me, such a wish shows that my/their joy in life is deep and supernatural, but can definitely offend in the wrong company.

I used to have a guy at work tell me this often as I passed. And have had it many more times. People, if you do this, please stop. It's really annoying and disrespectful. You don't know what this persons day/life is like and have no right to ask total strangers to do things just because it makes you feel better. There's no excuse for it - just don't do it!

When I was younger, I used to get this all the time from strangers passing me on the street (I'm a woman), and so did all of my women friends. I think of it as somewhere on a continuum with other kinds of street harassment that men do to women; usually it would be, "Smile! You'll look prettier," or "Hey, baby, how 'bout a smile?" or some of the comments others have posted here. (And then if I didn't respond like I was thrilled to smile for them, I'd hear them mutter, "*kitten*!") It wasn't a greeting; it was more like, "You're a woman out in public, which means I have a right to treat you like you're available or here for my benefit somehow." I think that, if you see someone on the street and are in a friendly mood, it's fine to say hi as you pass by. But the smile thing was just creepy; aside from the obvious rudeness, it almost always felt like it was just a few steps away from, "Nice tits!" or "I'd like to eat your *kitten*." There was a lot of that, too. This is an aspect of being young that I really do not miss.

999tigger wrote: »

MonsoonStorm wrote: »

Perhaps it's a cultural thing. As a Brit the "smile" thing is incredibly common and carries no weight or meaning. Sometimes the acknowledgement that somebody notices your pain/misery is actually reassuring when you're depressed. Sometimes it is used out of genuine interest.

"Have a nice day" on the other hand annoys the heck out of me. I find it fake, meaningless and forced. But then, like I said, I'm a miserable Brit. So I ignore it and chalk it down to a cultural quirk.

You dont speak for all Brits, so no its not cultural. or it can actually be intrusive and irksome.

I said "perhaps"...

Oh my goodness this forums is full of nark this past couple of days...

I do not have to smile to be happy. And I do not have to smile because someone tells me to.

A bus driver once told a woman who got on the bus to smile and she retorted, "I'm German, we don't smile." Well, I'm not German, but I only smile when I want to.

shrinkingletters wrote: »

Cindy4FunFit wrote: »

And to how it feels- no one really wants someone else, especially a stranger, telling them how to run their own emotions or expressions. So ultimately irritating.

Seriously. Some guy at my last gym went bananas after he went out of his way to get my attention (I was on the leg press, with my earbuds in listening to music, you know, BUSY), to ask me why I wasn't smiling. I was SO annoyed. Really? You stopped me in the middle of exercising to ask me to smile? Why? I told him I wasn't smiling because I was there to work, not to look pretty for anyone there. As I went to put my earbuds back in, he tried grabbing my arm to argue with me. I yanked away and went to the counter to let someone know and he followed yelling about how I was a *kitten* and he was just trying to make "conversation".


Yeah. Okay.


The problem usually with people who tell strangers to smile, is that they feel these strangers are obligated to do so. It's obnoxious entitled behavior.

What a psycho!

senecarr wrote: »

Tigg_er wrote: »

zyxst wrote: »

Tigg_er wrote: »

MonsoonStorm wrote: »

They are just trying to be friendly and break the ice.

Don't overanalyse things.

I think that concept is a little to hard for some people to understand. lol

Because introducing yourself is so 20th century.

Then maybe the person may think your a pervert or something,,,or you want to get them in bed ,,,or you want to rob them ,, or you want to run their life,or steal their camera or hell pick anything out.

For some reason this sounds like "I'm a nice guy"-ism.

Then you not reading it right.

We're talking smiling people, not donating an organ.
You grumpy *kitten* people keep on scowling that way the happy people know who to avoid.

undergloom wrote: »

I'm not scowling; I'm in a deep state of profound introspection.

Can't br in

undergloom wrote: »

I'm not just going to give you a smile; then it's valueless. Do something to earn it, you freeloader.

emdeesea wrote: »

maeld51 wrote: »

We're talking smiling people, not donating an organ.
You grumpy *kitten* people keep on scowling that way the happy people know who to avoid.

Try being told to "smile! It can't be that bad" on a day you've been to the doctor and been told you can never have children, or on a day you've lost your job, or on a day when your beloved pet has been put to sleep.

We can't always be happy. A tiny bit of social understanding from strangers would be appreciated sometimes.

I have been told to smile by a stranger on a very bad day. I was grateful for the opportunity to realize that I was walking around spreading negativity.
I have been told the things you listed, lady parts gotta go, you're fired, my beloved Sampson being put down.
Life, I'm happy to be alive.
I'm going to smile.

The Social Understanding you talk about, is mostly absent on this thread.