SO Sabotage
Igoligirl
Posts: 63 Member
help! My boyfriend Keeps sabotaging my attempts to change the way I eat and activity levels. He loves fast food and fried foods and complains when we exercise, even though he agreed to lose with me. We only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus. Any hints for a girl who wants to lose weight with her guy instead of being shot out of the air?
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Is he forcing the food down your throat? You can fit fast food/fried food into your diet if you want, otherwise just say a simple "no thanks".0
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how does he change the way you eat? There's a difference between someone not wanting to diet and exercise WITH you and someone truly trying to "sabotage" you, which I don't think happens very often. If you want to eat better and be active, then just do it - he doesn't have to go with you and you can cook your own food.0
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It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus0
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hint: You can control yourself. I hope.0
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Take responsibility for what goes into your mouth and stop blaming others.
I'm sorry if that's harsh but it's a necessary step otherwise you're doomed to failure.
There are plenty of options at "fast food" joints that can fit into a weight loss plan0 -
You don't have to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight.
Who does the grocery shopping?
Try new recipes from places like sparkrecipes.com or others. You'll find things you both like.0 -
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Why can you buy food for two but not food for one and one other? It's still food for two people. You just have to be more careful with perishable items.It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
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quiksylver296 wrote: »You don't have to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight.
Who does the grocery shopping?
Try new recipes from places like sparkrecipes.com or others. You'll find things you both like.
Thanks for the website! I'll try it. I buy the food but heh won't eat it and goes out to buy fast food and we can't afford that. I need some delicious recipes for home.0 -
Sit down and have a serious conversation on how you have goals that are harder to reach because you feel he is not being supportive. If he laughs at it or doesn't take you seriously it might be time to walk away. What happens when you are pursuing a degree and he interrupts study time or you are trying to save to buy a house and he kept spending your savings? You two need to get on the same page or your relationship is doomed.
Also, don't try to change him. If he doesn't want to exercise or eat what you eat that's his choice, not yours.0 -
Why are you eating rabbit food?? You should be eating people food. Split the budget down the middle, or find recipes you both like.0
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Start by eating what you've always eaten, but eat less of it. That should help your budgetary concerns. You don't need to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight. Also, does your BF actually want to lose weight himself? Unless he does, there is exactly nothing you can do to make him.It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
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Thanks for the adviceSit down and have a serious conversation on how you have goals that are harder to reach because you feel he is not being supportive. If he laughs at it or doesn't take you seriously it might be time to walk away. What happens when you are pursuing a degree and he interrupts study time or you are trying to save to buy a house and he kept spending your savings? You two need to get on the same page or your relationship is doomed.
Also, don't try to change him. If he doesn't want to exercise or eat what you eat that's his choice, not yours.
I am going to try and find some more recipes that the picky one and I can both eat
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quiksylver296 wrote: »You don't have to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight.
Who does the grocery shopping?
Try new recipes from places like sparkrecipes.com or others. You'll find things you both like.
This would be my suggestion, too. Otherwise bite the bullet, if you do the shopping then buy what you feel comfortable eating to accomplish your goals. My husband and I frequently eat different meals - he doesn't count calories and I do. Sometimes he doesn't like it, but really that's his problem.0 -
Start by eating what you've always eaten, but eat less of it. That should help your budgetary concerns. You don't need to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight. Also, does your BF actually want to lose weight himself? Unless he does, there is exactly nothing you can do to make him.It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
He does want to lose weight but he's unmotivated. He has 150 to lose0 -
Is that like wanting a job but not looking for one?
Start by eating what you've always eaten, but eat less of it. That should help your budgetary concerns. You don't need to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight. Also, does your BF actually want to lose weight himself? Unless he does, there is exactly nothing you can do to make him.It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
He does want to lose weight but he's unmotivated.
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Give up on him. He will lose when and if he's ready to lose. Don't push him to do what you want him to do. You really can't (and shouldn't even try to) force him to do something he doesn't want to do.
Focus on you. This may require some, "If you want to eat fast food with me, you'll need to eat at home because I'm not eating there," but you shouldn't be forced into something you don't want to do, either.
You guys will either have to find a balance or break up. So, if you're both committed to the relationship, try to find a balance.
If you can afford fast food, you can afford to cook.
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It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
Tell him that he has two choices. He can either eat what you cook, or he can get his own damn food. YOU are responsible for what goes in your mouth. Your SO is not sabotaging. He's just being a child.0 -
Sit down and have a serious conversation on how you have goals that are harder to reach because you feel he is not being supportive. If he laughs at it or doesn't take you seriously it might be time to walk away. What happens when you are pursuing a degree and he interrupts study time or you are trying to save to buy a house and he kept spending your savings? You two need to get on the same page or your relationship is doomed.
Also, don't try to change him. If he doesn't want to exercise or eat what you eat that's his choice, not yours.
I totally agree with this! He's your boyfriend, not your husband. Decide if this is behavior you can live with now.0 -
Start by eating what you've always eaten, but eat less of it. That should help your budgetary concerns. You don't need to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight. Also, does your BF actually want to lose weight himself? Unless he does, there is exactly nothing you can do to make him.It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
He does want to lose weight but he's unmotivated. He has 150 to lose
Doesn't sound like he does, it sounds like he said he does. If he really wanted to, he would. You can't control other people.
Plan well balanced meals, practice portion control. There is a whole lot of food between rabbit food and fast food. I am the only one in the house that counts calories. I make dinner, take my portion, and my husband can take as much as he wants. I give my daughter a decent portion of everything, and she eats what she wants. If you feel generous, have him give you suggestions about what he will eat, and plan it in to your calorie allowance. My husband wants Sloppy Joes for Father's day. He will have two huge buns smothered in meat sauce. I will have one with a side salad, maybe open faced if I haven't planned well enough to fit in the whole bun.
skinnytaste.com is also a favorite recipe site of mine.0 -
help! My boyfriend Keeps sabotaging my attempts to change the way I eat and activity levels. He loves fast food and fried foods and complains when we exercise, even though he agreed to lose with me. We only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus. Any hints for a girl who wants to lose weight with her guy instead of being shot out of the air?
Time to break up0 -
In that case, attempting a full dietary overhaul is really going to end badly. You can both start seeing progress just by making small changes to your normal diets. If you're cooking, start by using a little less oil or cheese or whatever. Add a salad to your meal and cut out one calorie-heavy side. Make baked potatoes instead of mashing them with butter/cream/cheese. If you're going out for fast food, get small fries instead of large fries, get a kid's meal, or add a salad with some light dressing or something so you're still getting enough volume of food to feel full.
Start by eating what you've always eaten, but eat less of it. That should help your budgetary concerns. You don't need to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight. Also, does your BF actually want to lose weight himself? Unless he does, there is exactly nothing you can do to make him.It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
He does want to lose weight but he's unmotivated. He has 150 to lose
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I have a husband and a 21 YO son...
Neither is that interested in losing weight or exercising...so I do the grocery shopping and buy food for all of us.
Chicken, hamburger, ham, salmon etc.
Froot loops, granola bars, chocolate bars (those are for me)
Milk, cream for the coffee, yogurt
You know "regular food". I still lose weight...it's not about what you eat it's about how much.
We also eat at fast food places...my son and I had Dairy Queen today...I am still in goal.
When he see's your success he can decide for himself what he wants to do.0 -
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No, he wants to be less fat. He doesn't want to lose weight. HUGE difference. People who want to lose try to do it. People who say they'd like to lose, but don't really work at it don't really want to lose.
Start by eating what you've always eaten, but eat less of it. That should help your budgetary concerns. You don't need to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight. Also, does your BF actually want to lose weight himself? Unless he does, there is exactly nothing you can do to make him.It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
He does want to lose weight but he's unmotivated. He has 150 to lose
If he says he wants to, he's kidding himself. You have to leave him be and focus on you.
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If he isn't motivated, that isn't your problem. He is a big boy and he will have to make that decision himself. You don't need him in order to workout. Nor should food be the issue. If you cook, he eats what you buy and fix. If he wants fast food, then separate the food budget and each gets whatever he or you want. You eat what you want and he can go to McDonalds!0
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It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
No, it isn't. This is what my husband and I do during the week, since he works a late shift and eats dinner at a different time. He plans out and cooks his dinners, I plan out and cook mine.
And yes, a lot of fresh fruits/veggies gets expensive, you can go with mostly frozen fruits/veggies and get fresh in limited quantities. Also, you can get meat cheaper if you buy family packs/during sales -- when you get home, open the packages and portion the meat into one- or two- serving sizes and wrap in aluminum foil, then throw the packets into your freezer. Then you can pull out the smaller portions of meat for that night's dinner.
If your boyfriend doesn't like what you plan to eat, he can do his own grocery shopping and cooking.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »You don't have to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight.
Who does the grocery shopping?
Try new recipes from places like sparkrecipes.com or others. You'll find things you both like.
Thanks for the website! I'll try it. I buy the food but heh won't eat it and goes out to buy fast food and we can't afford that. I need some delicious recipes for home.
Eat the food you buy. Or don't. He's not sabotaging anything other than your budget. He's just not going along with your eating plan.
Perhaps you can find a compromise?
Or,
Maybe try eating what he wants (for dinner) just less of it (assuming you like the taste), then eat what you want for breakfast and lunch?
Something.
I dunno. I know my husband and I compromise about food all the time. As with everything else.0 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »You don't have to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight.
Who does the grocery shopping?
Try new recipes from places like sparkrecipes.com or others. You'll find things you both like.
Thanks for the website! I'll try it. I buy the food but heh won't eat it and goes out to buy fast food and we can't afford that. I need some delicious recipes for home.
Eat the food you buy. Or don't. He's not sabotaging anything other than your budget. He's just not going along with your eating plan.
Perhaps you can find a compromise?
Eat what he wants (for dinner) just less, then eat what you want for breakfast and lunch?
I dunno. I know my husband and I compromise about food all the time. As with everything else.
That's a good idea about meals0 -
Your post is very helpful, thank you so much
In that case, attempting a full dietary overhaul is really going to end badly. You can both start seeing progress just by making small changes to your normal diets. If you're cooking, start by using a little less oil or cheese or whatever. Add a salad to your meal and cut out one calorie-heavy side. Make baked potatoes instead of mashing them with butter/cream/cheese. If you're going out for fast food, get small fries instead of large fries, get a kid's meal, or add a salad with some light dressing or something so you're still getting enough volume of food to feel full.
Start by eating what you've always eaten, but eat less of it. That should help your budgetary concerns. You don't need to eat "rabbit food" to lose weight. Also, does your BF actually want to lose weight himself? Unless he does, there is exactly nothing you can do to make him.It changes because we only have so much money for a budget and he won't eat "rabbit food". It's way out of my budget to buy two separate menus
He does want to lose weight but he's unmotivated. He has 150 to lose
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