I've lost 111lbs but still not happy?

I'm a perfectionist, so I know where ur coming from. I don't think I'll ever be 100% happy with my body, but that's fine, it keeps me working out and striving for something. I'm not sure what ur workout routine has been, but for me, adding weights to my workout really helped. You can loose weight by eating less calories, but people confuse the number on the scale with a toned body.

I was once where you are right now---but now, fast forward 10 years, I look back at the photos of me from when I was unhappy and I looked really underweight and sickly. Sometimes we get into a mindframe where it's never enough and that gets dangerous. If you're unhappy with your stomach, why not try doing exercises that are specific to abs, rather than doing lots of cardio or weight training that focuses on other areas of your body?

first of all, massive congrats for your success- that must have been a long and difficult road. well done!

i know people do crunches and things like that to target their tummy area- it might be worth asking the women who seem to find the stomach a difficult area to shift weight from (i haven't got that far yet!).

but i was thinking about your psychological perspective on things..... i've said lots of times on here that i thnk people need to love their bodies when they're at the start of their journey. and as it changes appreciate those differences, but still love what you've got because it's the only body you're going to have.

or you could just bite the bullet and get one of those things william shatner wears- i think it's called a girdle!

i hope you get some better answers than what i gave! but be kind to yourself, and just be sure that once your stomach is to your liking that you don't just move onto something else.

I think it's probably hard for you to be objective about the way you look now, you've lost so much weight in a short time and it does take a while for your mind to catch up!

Can you treat yourself to a few sessions with a personal trainer who could give you some pointers on how to streamline the bits you don't like? A friend of mine did this before her wedding, she didn't need to lose weight but she totally transformed her arms in particular and defined her waist.

There's always incongruence between your actual body and your "ideal" body, I know that my "ideal" slim body would be something like Gwyneth Paltrow but I am short and hourglassy so even if I did have an amazing body it wouldn't look anything like Gwyneth's! It might be worth thinking about that, if you're comparing yourself to other people you'll always come up short and that applies to every aspect of life really! Hard to stop doing it though.

I know what you mean about other issues, I lost 3st in my early 20s and thought that if I was slim my life would be perfect - er no! I have been skinny once since and it was through pure misery so I've been cured of that misconception. Don't let the other things in your life devalue what you've achieved or spoil your enjoyment of eating well and exercising, we are our own worst enemys sometimes. Take a bit of time to reflect on what you've achieved. There is no need to be perfect, how you are now is more than good enough. You were good enough before you lost weight but now you are healthier and like the way you look so you're ace really! Good luck x

Hey all,

I seem to have a problem and not sure what to do really, I've lost 111lbs so far which is great, I should be happy I know this but I'm far from happy, whatever I do I am still not happy with my weight and/or body.

I started at 19 and a half stone, when I reached 12 stone I had planned to lose 6 more pounds as I thought that would have been all I needed to do to get rid of the last areas of fat (mainly around tummy), so 6 lbs later and now at 11 stone 6lbs my tummy still looks pretty much the same, what do I do? I can't keep losing weight like this and not seeing the results as I'll end up too skinny elsewhere.

Yeah, I'm happier with my body now than before I lost all this weight but I'm not feeling how I was expecting to feel at this weight, I still look in the mirror and still hate certain parts of my body.

Sorry if I sound ungrateful or selfish as I know a lot of people here would love to lose the amount I've lost, I am grateful, just not happy in myself.... :frown:


My other concern is this:
Losing this weight has been my main goal and I've been putting EVERYTHING into it, it's let me forget about other issues in my life as I've had the weight loss to concentrate on, now I'm nearing my goal it's getting to a point where all my other issues I was dealing with are going to be coming back and I know dealing with them again is going to be hard.

Wow. Where to start.. Okay. To begin with, I think that a lot of us gained weight because we were unhappy. Stressed, depressed, you get the idea. Then we feel even worse because we're unhappy with our bodies, and that additional unhappiness prevents us from making healthy choices, keeping the vicious cycle going. It is extremely difficult to break that pattern of self-destructive behavior, but you have gotten past that first hurdle, which is amazing & you should be proud of yourself. Unfortunately, however, that is only the first step.

Losing weight (especially the amount you've lost) is difficult, but it can be even more difficult to deal with the underlying issues that got you that way in the first place. It sounds as though you have issues with your body, which is not uncommon at all, especially for someone who has gone through such a radical change, and that you may also have some other issues. Obviously I can't diagnose you - I am not a doctor and I only know the bit that you've told us here. Also, when you get used to thinking about yourself in a certain way - I'm fat, I'm disgusting, I'm worthless, etc. - it can be really tough to learn to think about yourself differently. You changed your body, but your thoughts take more time.

I can tell you that you have to be patient, that you have to learn to love & appreciate yourself - even the sagging skin and stretch marks - until I'm blue in the face, but it sounds to me like what you really should try is talking to a doctor or therapist. I have dealt with my own issues, and I can tell you that, for me, getting help was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Looking at the photos that you just posted, your body looks completely normal - actually, you're pretty cute - and that makes me wonder where your negative self image is coming from. It might be that you just aren't able to process the huge change you've gone through, or maybe you are just too locked into the pattern of feeling negatively about your body. Whatever it is, you should seek out some help for dealing with whatever issues you have been ignoring whilst focusing on your weight loss, and with your continuing negative perception of your own body.

I see the tiny bit of loose skin you're talking about, but that's pretty much par for the course with extreme weight loss. Your skin stretched out and then back, but not quite all of the way. As far as I'm aware, the only way to remove excess skin is through surgery, but that seems like an extreme route, especially when your issue is so incredibly minor & barely even noticeable. (Not to mention that you'd then have huge scars to obsess over.) If your real problem is just with negative self image, which is my initial impression, then surgery won't fix your problem.

You deserve to be happy - unfortunately, losing weight isn't always enough to get you there. Do whatever it takes. Good luck!

Well done on your weight loss, thats fabulous!!!!!! looked at your pics and you deffo have no fat in your tummy area, unfortunately it is excess skin which i have too from 2 pregnancies and cant shift. like yourself, i look fine standing or laying flat but when it comes to being in a plank position i look down n see it just hanging the skin does shrink back as far as it can but unfortunately when it has been over stretched, it wont go back fully, (like an overstretched elastic band) we just got to try and live with it hun :flowerforyou:

Congrats on your weight loss. It takes a lot of dedication and hard work. You did great. Personally, I don't think you should lose more. You look great! Losing more weight, I think you may look skinny, and start to look sick. I suggest you to start maintaining your weight and start strenght training. I would strongly suggest something like P90X. It's a difficult program and being able to see improvement from week to week will keep you motivated and excited! You have probably seen some of the before/after P90X pictures on this forum.. they can be amazing if you put in the hard work. Or have a fitness goal in mind and focus on that. Like running a certain distance or playing a certain sport or getting a really ripped back. (I can't say anything about the excess skin on your tummy, I don't know if it will go away on it's own or if working out would help. Unfortunetely, it happens when the weight loss is too fast)

I know how you feel about getting to goal weight and ... 'what do I do next'! This has been a passtime and focus for the last 6 months. It's like a hobby of some sort, an addiction too. Try moving your focus to toning your body. You will notice a lean, nice muscle definition in no time!