Are humans meant to be monogamous creatures?
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I believe that depends on whether you believe in love or if its just simply a chemical reaction. I think its only natural to have attraction to many but the desire to follow through when you already have something you want is not something all have.0
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Choice and sacrifice.0
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I believe in chemical reactions, compatability, and wanting to solidify your future for both you and offspring.
..... Odd, since I've always considered myself a romantic! But I believe monogomy is a choice and sacrifice you make for someone you have chosen to be with for life. If the trade off is worth a permanent friend and partner for you, that could be romantic too!0 -
If it was in our nature we probably wouldn't see such high divorce rates and such.0
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If it was in our nature we probably wouldn't see such high divorce rates and such.
I think this might be more of a shift in values in our generation. People nowadays are told to never be satisfied until you get what you want and are raised watching fairy tale movies and such. Older generations made things work, they fixed what was wrong until they were happy with what they had. At least that's my view on it.
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There was divorce and cheating going on back then too. I think the shift in values was just that it became okay with society to be divorced. Seems like in the later times you were considered defective if something like that happened to you. Now that it's more acceptable it's more rampant.0
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Good points, maybe it depends on the person. I know personally I like the thought of growing old with somebody.0
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Michael_Lucas wrote: »Good points, maybe it depends on the person. I know personally I like the thought of growing old with somebody.
Me too
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So what gets your motor running is imagining the other person getting old? LOL!0
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Caught me, old people fetish! But no, just going through life with a best friend seems pretty awesome. I'm of the opinion you get out of relationships what you put into them.0
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I hear what you're saying and I don't disagree. I just feel that if monogamy was in our nature we wouldn't get the urge to pro-create with everyone. Going through life with a best friend is awesome but the primal urge never goes away. You can make the choice to fight off the urge but it's there...... that's my only point and I think it's the point of the OP.0
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I think its human nature to struggle with choice.
Should I eat healthy or pig out on junk.
Should I exercise or watch TV..
Should I sleep with that blonde or stay faithful to my wife.
Should I work hard for a rewarding career or do nothing with my life.
Should I quit smoking or continue till I die.
Should I drink till I die of liver failure or show moderation.
Should I experiment with drugs like my friends or stay clean.
Just because there is temptation doesn't mean its the way things should be. Having an urge to do something especially something is a part of what makes us human but acting on it is what defines us in my opinion. Peer pressure and attraction aren't excuses for we all chose and we are truly responsible for our own actions.0 -
Very well said akiba.0
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So you are saying that humans are meant to be monogamous creatures?I think its human nature to struggle with choice.
Should I eat healthy or pig out on junk.
Should I exercise or watch TV..
Should I sleep with that blonde or stay faithful to my wife.
Should I work hard for a rewarding career or do nothing with my life.
Should I quit smoking or continue till I die.
Should I drink till I die of liver failure or show moderation.
Should I experiment with drugs like my friends or stay clean.
Just because there is temptation doesn't mean its the way things should be. Having an urge to do something especially something is a part of what makes us human but acting on it is what defines us in my opinion. Peer pressure and attraction aren't excuses for we all chose and we are truly responsible for our own actions.
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Although I believe that a person can find "the one", a soulmate if you will... I also believe that some free spirited people can never be emotionally satisfied by a single person.
Therefore, I don't think you can make an all inclusive statement when it comes to monogamy.
Right and wrong is subjective and highly influenced by society.
All I can say is, I judge no one. Do what makes you happy, be a good person and always take the feelings of others into consideration when involving yourself in a relationship.0 -
Humans are very fickle. When we are not being stimulated in a relationship, we go find someone else. This just doesn't apply to romantic relationships. Thats why its so hard to find loyalty now-a-days. On my part, it's not a sacrifice. I would love to spend every single day with the one person I'm in love with.0
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sw33tp3a11 wrote: »Humans are very fickle. When we are not being stimulated in a relationship, we go find someone else. This just doesn't apply to romantic relationships. Thats why its so hard to find loyalty now-a-days. On my part, it's not a sacrifice. I would love to spend every single day with the one person I'm in love with.
That's a good point. Maybe sacrifice is a harsh word. I took it as "something given up for a greater cause".
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Btw... google says we are monogamists... LOL!
Serial monogamists to be exact.0 -
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sw33tp3a11 wrote: »
haha... just some more interesting reading.....
On the basis of a comprehensive study, David Barash and Judith Lipton (link is external) conclude that there is no evidence that monogamy is somehow "natural" or "normal" for humans; on the contrary, there is abundant evidence that people have long been prone to having multiple sexual partners. However, they also reject the claim that monogamy is unnatural or abnormal, especially since it is the way most people have been living in recent times. Human beings are enormously flexible creatures and exhibit adaptability in dealing with the issue of monogamy and romantic exclusivity. Accordingly, they argue that "what makes human beings unusual among other mammals is not our penchant for polygamy, but the fact that most people practice at least some form of monogamy."0 -
Although I believe that a person can find "the one", a soulmate if you will... I also believe that some free spirited people can never be emotionally satisfied by a single person.
Therefore, I don't think you can make an all inclusive statement when it comes to monogamy.
Right and wrong is subjective and highly influenced by society.
All I can say is, I judge no one. Do what makes you happy, be a good person and always take the feelings of others into consideration when involving yourself in a relationship.
Completely agree.0 -
In my opinion, based on my own feelings and experience - no, we are not intended to be monogamous. I think there is a difference between sexual partners though and the family unit that is best suited for raising children and having security and companionship and someone with whom to grow old. I broached this subject on this forum a while back and got some interesting responses for sure. In the end though, I don't judge and hope not to be judged/0
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People are advanced animals, that being said I don't think monogamy is for every person. It's a choice one makes. Most people are not lucky enough to find that one true love. I was very fortunate in the fact that I found my soul mate so to speak. I could never love someone as deeply as I do my wife. The problem With today's society is that everything is just click away and we expect all things to be easy.and.have therefore lost that will to hunt for what we want. The fight has been taken out of this generation.0
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If I find a wife that can pay my bills, she will be my cash for life.0
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Michael_Lucas wrote: »Good points, maybe it depends on the person. I know personally I like the thought of growing old with somebody.
You can still grow old with the one you love without being in a monogamous relationship.0 -
No! Polyamory for everyone!0
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It's a choice. "Meant to be monogamous" implies some sort of biological compulsion or imperative, which is clearly not the case considering how many relationships end because of infidelity, not to mention the existence of polygamous relationships in various cultures and religions throughout history.
Monogamy is a choice. Some people simply just aren't suited for it. Which I see nothing wrong with, as long as they're upfront about their needs/tendencies/expectations/etc with their partners from the start.
I personally fall under the monogamous category, though. I think polygamous relationships are interesting, but definitely not for me. Frankly, relationships are complicated enough even when there're just two people involved.
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