The fun meal vs success balancing act
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BFDeal
Posts: 3,160 Member
I see this all the time. A user will post, "I'm going out to dinner tonight at a restaurant that doesn't list their nutritional info. Help!!" The answers you get are pretty stock.
Order the whatever obviously low calorie choice without sauce, cheese, dressing, with a side of air and steamed veggies. Box up half right away because going hungry is fun. Eat light the rest of the day leading up to it. Pretend the sound of your grumbling stomach is the noise your abs make as they show through. If you order dessert split it with the table. Yawn. I think I'll just stay home.
Maybe you'll have a few "Got nuts! It's just one day!" mixed in there. Usually from people that literally look like they've only went nuts with food one day ever (and by nuts they mean they order fried rice instead of white *gasp*) implying the real answer is "just eat out less." So, question for the collective: Where does success and being able to order a "fun" meal when eating out meet? Any reasonably fit people out there who go out every week, have a few beers, order whatever they want (not following the above rules of dieting and eating out) but still do pretty well?
Order the whatever obviously low calorie choice without sauce, cheese, dressing, with a side of air and steamed veggies. Box up half right away because going hungry is fun. Eat light the rest of the day leading up to it. Pretend the sound of your grumbling stomach is the noise your abs make as they show through. If you order dessert split it with the table. Yawn. I think I'll just stay home.
Maybe you'll have a few "Got nuts! It's just one day!" mixed in there. Usually from people that literally look like they've only went nuts with food one day ever (and by nuts they mean they order fried rice instead of white *gasp*) implying the real answer is "just eat out less." So, question for the collective: Where does success and being able to order a "fun" meal when eating out meet? Any reasonably fit people out there who go out every week, have a few beers, order whatever they want (not following the above rules of dieting and eating out) but still do pretty well?
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Me me me!
It doesn't sound like you want to hear it, but what "works" for me is balancing out the calories over the week. I ate half a large pizza hut pizza on Sunday, and my weight didn't change at all- That's because I went on a hike and had a light breakfast!
I have a drink or two or three probably 4 nights a week (think what you want, I don't care, and my doctor knows) but it fits in with my calories. This is really the best way to do it FOR ME. I eat out 4x/week average. The other days I have prepped my lower calorie lunches (I made a really awesome greek salad w/steak btw, this is not some boiled chicken and broccoli) for work to enable myself to eat out.
Does that answer your question?0 -
The worst thing you can do is get locked into the idea of 'good foods' and 'bad foods', it can create all sorts of disordered eating patterns and at worst a full blown eating disorder.
Regardless of how your achieving your goal it shouldn't be so restrictive that you lose sight of the fact that food is just.... well food. You should be able to go out with friends and family and be able to enjoy the time you spend with them instead of experiencing high levels of anxiety at what you're going to eat or at worst avoiding social interaction just to ensure you don't fall off the wagon or 'ruin your diet'.
Having come from a very restrictive diet protocol I've now switched over to IIFYM/flexible dieting and it has made the world of difference. I eat what when I want (yes I do a little forward planning to make sure it all fits) but 'being normal' AND being able to stick to my fitness goals has made me a happy little camper. It also removed any of the horrendous cravings I had previously to using IIFYM as a way to meet my goals.
I do get 'free meals' at times (what many people refer to as a cheat meal) but to be honest they're not really a big deal anymore as I eat what I want daily anyway. Best answer I can give.0 -
I don't think there is one right answer for all people. My maybe unhelpful answer is to figure out what works for you.
I dine out infrequently, and as such it's usually a fun date night out with Mrs Jruzer. In that case I get what I want and don't worry too much about calories. Someone who dines out more frequently, either because they eat with clients or go out with friends or whatever, will have to be more careful.
What's important to realize is that one meal won't "derail" anything, unless you let it. Several hundred, even several thousand, calories are a minor blip in the overall scheme of things.0 -
Good responses so far. OP, I'm going to try to carefully say that I think this is more of a mindset issue for you. When you say "fun meal vs success" I think you see these as completely opposite things. They are not. If by "fun" you mean all out, crazy high calorie food in large quantities, I'm going to suggest that long term weight loss maintainers don't equate that with "fun" anymore. An occasional higher calorie restaurant meal is completely different than eating whatever you want to abandon.
IMHO, as long as you see your calorie intake number and the foods you "cannot" eat as negative you will have a hard time finding success. If you HATE something you do, how successful do you expect to be at it? I may be completely off base, but given your post history, I still read it as you resenting having to make sacrifices or changes to lose more weight. Resentment will not lead to success.
Either way, at some point I hope you find the answers you are looking for and find contentment with were you are.0 -
I eat out once or twice a week, go out for drinks once usually, and eat things like ice cream, biscuits etc. in small portions regularly. I've just got good at the calorie maths. I know I can't always have everything I want. I know where I can save calories in order to put them towards the fun stuff, and when to dial back the fun a little to allow for a varied healthy diet the rest of the day/week. I have days where it all goes a bit overboard, but it's what you do 95% of the time that counts really.
I do have the luxury of being able to fit in about 5 hours of moderate exercise though, as well as walking where I can. If I didn't run 10-15 miles a week, go to the gym twice, swim, and walk on my work breaks I would have to sacrifice a lot more fun stuff. I would consider myself reasonably fit, my BMI stays around or under 20 and I can run a 10K in 50 minutes without feeling like death. Staying that way does not affect my social life or my ability to enjoy tasty food.0 -
No, I would say that I cannot go out once a week and ignore the calorie issue for both the meal and dessert without planning for it or making up for it in some other way. Is that what you mean?
We go out to eat a lot (or at least we used to up until a few weeks ago when we decided to embark on a Summer of Austerity.) Going out to me is not really a special event, which means that ordering a dessert or decadent dish doesn't really cross my mind most of the time. The times when it does cross my mind are few and far between but even then I don't really go too nuts. Last year on my birthday we went to the Cheesecake Factory, for example, and I knew that I wanted a piece of Godiva chocolate cheesecake and that I would neither share it nor leave any on the plate. So instead of a bigger meal I got a 300-400 calorie salad. I just end up working toward a balance naturally these days.0 -
No, I would say that I cannot go out once a week and ignore the calorie issue for both the meal and dessert without planning for it or making up for it in some other way. Is that what you mean?
Agreed. I think that would be an unrealistic expectation. You can enjoy heaps of calorific food and drinks in a totally uncontrolled way on a regular basis OR you can lose/maintain a healthy weight. You couldn't go out and spend money in a similarly uncontrolled manner biweekly without putting cash aside before or reining in afterwards and not expect to encounter financial troubles sooner or later.
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Just work it into your weekly calorie allotment. I'll usually have something "bad" - like ice cream - once a day or so.
Several days out of the year - Christmas, Super Bowl, Easter, etc. - I'll eat what I want and not worry about calories, sugar, etc. Takes so much stress out of it.0 -
Good responses so far. OP, I'm going to try to carefully say that I think this is more of a mindset issue for you. When you say "fun meal vs success" I think you see these as completely opposite things. They are not. If by "fun" you mean all out, crazy high calorie food in large quantities, I'm going to suggest that long term weight loss maintainers don't equate that with "fun" anymore. An occasional higher calorie restaurant meal is completely different than eating whatever you want to abandon.
IMHO, as long as you see your calorie intake number and the foods you "cannot" eat as negative you will have a hard time finding success. If you HATE something you do, how successful do you expect to be at it? I may be completely off base, but given your post history, I still read it as you resenting having to make sacrifices or changes to lose more weight. Resentment will not lead to success.
Either way, at some point I hope you find the answers you are looking for and find contentment with were you are.
I think I really needed to read this because I totally get what you are saying, here. In fact, I would go so far as to say a light bulb went on over my head. I am going to work on my mind set. So thanks to the op for the post and thanks, also, for this reply. It's amazing how far your wake of influence can spread in a good forum. I appreciate it!
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wmcmurray61 wrote: »Good responses so far. OP, I'm going to try to carefully say that I think this is more of a mindset issue for you. When you say "fun meal vs success" I think you see these as completely opposite things. They are not. If by "fun" you mean all out, crazy high calorie food in large quantities, I'm going to suggest that long term weight loss maintainers don't equate that with "fun" anymore. An occasional higher calorie restaurant meal is completely different than eating whatever you want to abandon.
IMHO, as long as you see your calorie intake number and the foods you "cannot" eat as negative you will have a hard time finding success. If you HATE something you do, how successful do you expect to be at it? I may be completely off base, but given your post history, I still read it as you resenting having to make sacrifices or changes to lose more weight. Resentment will not lead to success.
Either way, at some point I hope you find the answers you are looking for and find contentment with were you are.
I think I really needed to read this because I totally get what you are saying, here. In fact, I would go so far as to say a light bulb went on over my head. I am going to work on my mind set. So thanks to the op for the post and thanks, also, for this reply. It's amazing how far your wake of influence can spread in a good forum. I appreciate it!
Thank you for saying that. I was really struggling with how to word this and wasn't sure if it made sense at all.
I do have to say I learn something new from these forums every day.0 -
I have ice cream once in a while, but I tend to just follow macros and just be wise about what I eat. I always have to keep in mind that there's more to life than just fitness.0
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Good responses so far. OP, I'm going to try to carefully say that I think this is more of a mindset issue for you. When you say "fun meal vs success" I think you see these as completely opposite things. They are not. If by "fun" you mean all out, crazy high calorie food in large quantities, I'm going to suggest that long term weight loss maintainers don't equate that with "fun" anymore. An occasional higher calorie restaurant meal is completely different than eating whatever you want to abandon.
IMHO, as long as you see your calorie intake number and the foods you "cannot" eat as negative you will have a hard time finding success. If you HATE something you do, how successful do you expect to be at it? I may be completely off base, but given your post history, I still read it as you resenting having to make sacrifices or changes to lose more weight. Resentment will not lead to success.
Either way, at some point I hope you find the answers you are looking for and find contentment with were you are.
I agree... the 'fun' quotient is totally independent of calorie intake... for me, the fun of going out is the company and the conversation, so I don't feel deprived if I stay on the lighter side of a menu.
That's not to say that I don't let myself go once in a while, but nearly always within the framework of the strategies outlined in the OP.0 -
I've had success going out once, even sometimes two nights a week and ordering whatever i want and drinking as much as I want- lost almost 70 pounds over 6 months doing that (plus going to the gym 3-4 days a week). My success only because hindered when those one-two nights a week meals became, 2 nights, plus brunch, plus a midweek happy hour... I've since stopped doing that, but I'm still losing weight going out 1-2 nights a week as long as I eat correctly for every other meal and hit the gym.0
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I balance my calories for the week too. I'm very close to my goal and mostly maintaining, but I try to keep a 300-400 calorie deficit every day, so if I go over once or twice during the week, I still have a deficit overall, even if it's only 1000 calories like last week.0
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if I have lots of extra calories, i'll eat what I want. but if I don't, my goals is more important than me eating the alfredo instead of the baked fish0
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I'm not sure if I fit your criteria of "reasonably fit" or not, I lost my weight, met my goal, and am now in maintenance with a healthy weight and BMI.
I am a working, married, mother of two busy with extracurricular activities and with a varied social network, so yeah, there are plenty of opportunities to go out to eat, sometimes just grabbing fast food in between ball games. I eat out for lunch at least once a week at work, usually Qdoba or a wrap place. I probably eat dinner out either with my family (at a local Mexican or Italian place or neighborhood bar & grill) or with friends once a week or so. We also get ice cream or gelato as a family at least once a week. I don't know if I would consider my meal choices at those places particularly boring or crazy, I just eat what I feel like eating. Sometimes that's a burger and fries, sometimes it is chips/salsa, fajitas and margaritas. Are those "splurge" meals? I don't know, it isn't that different than how I eat at home.
This weekend for example - I went out to dinner with a friend Friday night to a Greek restaurant, I had hummus, roasted chicken, potatoes, vegetables, and 3 glasses of wine. Saturday night, we had a bbq at home, made burgers, corn on the cob, chips and guacamole, had a few beers. Sunday made a huge breakfast for Father's Day, and then for dinner we had ravioli and homemade sauce, wine and dessert. I was over my calories for the week, but not enough to lead to any weight gain.
Not sure if that answers the original question or not... I try to plan ahead as much as possible, and if I know I will be eating out at some point in the day or week, I make a little extra room for it if I can in the preceding meals.
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I eat out a couple times a week, and pretty much order whatever I want. I balance my calories over a week-ish and tend to mostly hit my calorie goals. (I don't really drink often, because I have a beer/wine allergy and suffer from severe scotch snobbery.) I find it's easy for me to skip ordering calorie dense options when I need to because I've just had them a day or so ago.0
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Why does it have to be one of two extremes? Does it really have to be either nibbling on green salad without dressing or eating the entire menu? The way I handle things is by splurging less that day (I don't mean starving, I mean focusing on eating low calorie but satisfying things following my hunger). If I'm able to look at the menu before going out I just make mental notes on what I really feel like having then build my day and meal around it, keeping in mind that I will be eating at maintenance that day.
Example:
The other day I went out for Italian and I really wanted fettuccine alfredo (which is quite heavy)
I could have eaten a large bagel, fried eggs and orange juice for breakfast and fried eggplants for lunch totaling a 1000 calories, but I opted for things I like but are lower in calories leaving the aforementioned menu for another day and made these choices:
Breakfast: A tuna salad (tuna+tomatoes+garlic+pickles+lemon juice) about 200 calories
1 pm snack: a Greek yogurt and mint sandwich with a tomato about 80 calories (where I come from we eat Greek yogurt plain as a spread)
Lunch: a big bowl of oatmeal which was very satisfying 300 calories
So that's 580 calories and my allowance for that day at maintenance was 2200. That meant I had about 1600 calories for that dinner. That was enough to accommodate the fettuccine alfredo (about 800 calories) and left me with enough calories to spend on other things with some to spare - I basically ordered everything I felt like having that night.
Had I been hungrier and spent a couple hundred more calories during the day I would have had to "trim" my bonuses around my main carving, the alfredo, for example ordering zuppa inglese instead of tiramisu to save 150 calories (since I like both), and ordering lighter appetizers. It would still have been a "fun" meal that contains everything I like and enjoy. I didn't have to stuff myself with 3 meals and 5 desserts to the point of nearly bursting for it to be fun, and I also did not have to fool myself into thinking the smell of food is all the food-fun I'm allowed to have.
I don't go out often, but even if done weekly this still works. One day at maintenance would only slow down your loss by about 0.14 of a pound (assuming a 500 calorie deficit). In the grand scheme of things that's nothing and you're not even gaining on that day, just maintaining.0
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