Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »All you guys are NOT helping my urge for a puppy lol. DH wanted to wait til next summer, then he said Christmas, now he's saying my birthday (in October).
I know, I want one so badly too. I was so happy our friends all brought their dogs camping this weekend (there were six in total) so there was always one to play Frisbee with or cuddle by the campfire, but it made me so sad we don't have one yet (our condo board has a no pets bylaw, so we have to wait until we buy a house, hopefully within a year.)
Do you want a specific breed, or are you going to rescue?
I would love to rescue but I don't think it's going to be possible for us as there are only a few breeds that don't bother my husband's allergies (poodles and a few poodle crosses, and I'm not a big fan of purebred poodles.) So I think we'll be getting a labradoodle when the time comes, as we know he can live with one of those.0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed.
(Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.0 -
riderfangal wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.
Wow...that sucks for your son. No words, but hugs!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.
Wow...that sucks for your son. No words, but hugs!
It does suck for my son and thx for the hugs!! 0 -
I see Wonder Woman, also, @quiksylver296. Also, I'm a bit dyslexic (which another reason I have a hard time remembering full screen names) and I always call you "Quickysilver" in my head. That "y" seems to trip me up every time!
Confession: I have to go buy my husband a Father's Day card and gift after work and we're not even on speaking terms right now. This should be fun.
I hope you guys are doing better now. What is going on? I know a lot of people who are having relationship issues right now.
For us, the problem is what I've told him for years: we have three people in our relationship - me, him, and his EGO. Tired of dealing with the ego stuff. Didn't expect someone 10 1/2 years older than me to still have ego and maturity issues. But, it's not all him, of course. I've changed in the past 15 years. I don't complain about or talk about my marriage to anyone IRL, so in the spirit of the thread I just decided to take advantage of it and do a little personal whining.
Thank you for asking. How are YOU? I've been thinking about you and your situation as well.0 -
Confession - I find it extremely creepy that MFP tracks what I enter in my diary for their ads. I'm quite sure I haven't done any search on whipped cream, the only way it was picked up is because I had some at lunch. The other day just LOOKING at the calories of something in the app, an ad popped up for it.0
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »All you guys are NOT helping my urge for a puppy lol. DH wanted to wait til next summer, then he said Christmas, now he's saying my birthday (in October).
I know, I want one so badly too. I was so happy our friends all brought their dogs camping this weekend (there were six in total) so there was always one to play Frisbee with or cuddle by the campfire, but it made me so sad we don't have one yet (our condo board has a no pets bylaw, so we have to wait until we buy a house, hopefully within a year.)
Do you want a specific breed, or are you going to rescue?
I would love to rescue but I don't think it's going to be possible for us as there are only a few breeds that don't bother my husband's allergies (poodles and a few poodle crosses, and I'm not a big fan of purebred poodles.) So I think we'll be getting a labradoodle when the time comes, as we know he can live with one of those.
We want to rescue but my youngest and DH have allergen issues, so it'll be either a Labradoodle or Maltese mix. Probably a Labradoodle. I'd prefer a rescue, though 0 -
riderfangal wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.
Wow. I can't decide what's worse: that he actually DID this or that he so readily admitted it! Yikes. I am very sorry for you and your son having to deal with this, but it's best that there's no contact at all.
Can you imagine if he had your son for days or overnights the worry you would have not knowing if he was drinking or not?! This is definitely a case of, be grateful for whatever you can in a bad situation.0 -
Did he think that was a reasonable excuse?? Wow.riderfangal wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.
0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession: It's a hangry day, and I want chips...or Gardetto's.
I'm in trouble.
I hear you. It's workout off day & all I can think about is warm sourdough bread.
MUST. CONTROL. URGES.
me too, but to (kinda) contribute to the guacamole postings, I just want to face plant in a pile of it. LOVE it. I seriously think I like it better than ice cream. I've been known to eat a whole avocado with salt and a spoon. I want to eat ALL the things today, but by things I mean guac and cheddar cheese and sour cream.
I bought a package of the Wholly Guacamole single serve packages. Sadness. I've never seen anything so TINY! To make it even worse, the miniscule container has a concave (inward) bottom so there's even less in there than I thought. When my spoon hit that bump in the bottom of the container I almost freaked out! Good thing they come in packages of 6. Three at a time should do the trick.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.
Wow...that sucks for your son. No words, but hugs!
Ugh, so sorry! 0 -
Yep... it was exhausting enough even without a breastfeeding aspect (I honestly don't know how women with multiples can handle such a circumstance if breastfeeding... having it be possible at all, from the standpoint of time, is one thing (and a feat worthy of some sort of breastfeeding logistics Olympic medal, at that (and multiples are not necessarily awake at the same time, or feed at the same time, or need a diaper change at the same time, etc. -- so it can turn into a kind of 'assembly line' -like actioning of tasks, and in an 'infinite loop' sort of seemingly-neverending fashion))... but to endure the physical and emotional demands of such, hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month -- (and OMG, the chronic sleep deprivation alone, from even one non-premie, non-breastfed child, is enough of a challenge for anyone -- but throw multiples into the equation (premies or not), let alone breastfeeding, and *holy, holy crap*) -- I seriously cannot freaking fathom it)...qn4bx9pzg8aifd wrote: »
A close relative of mine was unable to breastfeed her premie multiples, and each of those multi-month premies turned out just fine (better than, in fact)...riderfangal wrote: »
I didn't breast feed my son and sometimes I feel guilty about that especially because he was premature.kellienw335 wrote: »
Too funny! Breastfeeding, for me, was always uncomfortable. My son, the first kiddo, never took to it which was probably in part due to the fact that I wasn't that excited about it. I joked at the time that he was the first male to ever refuse...my chest area. LOL! I did BF, mostly pumped because I'm OCD, my daughter, the second and last kiddo, for about six months. I justified BF'd her because she had to go to daycare at six weeks while I was able to stay home with my son for the first eight months.I am on p 992. Here is my most embarrasing (or perhaps a tie) moment.
My most embarrassing moment.
...riderfangal, please don't feel guilty... premature or not, the little munchkins can get what they need, and do very, very well...
Goodness, I don't know how that would be possible for anyone! Multiples are hard enough, but add in premies and trying to nurse both?! Ugh. Talk about exhausting!
...and even if/when relatives and/or friends assist, it can still be a thoroughly exhausting reality for all involved... (nothing has ever tested my physical stamina like assisting a family with newborn premies (it remains the only time in my adulthood when the insomnia I'd otherwise done a tango with (and for as long as I could remember) didn't stand a chance... I was freakin' 'down for the count' when I dared to rest my head on a pillow (for any of the few random 'power naps' that seemed necessary in order to re-attain enough physical wherewithal to continue being physically upright)... and I was like a sleep-deprived 'zombie' so often while 'awake'))...
...assisting with the care of multiple premies was like a form of 'bootcamp', and tested the limits of my stamina like nothing before or since...
I have off-the-charts respect and compassion for those who raise children... and the depth of my empathy for those with newborn multiples cannot be put into words...
0 -
riderfangal wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
As a single mom I wish my son had a dad that gave a s*** like your husband does. My ex didn't he even bother answering the phone when my son called to wish him a Happy Fathers Day. He texted me later that it was because he got so drunk and passed out in his front yard that his neighbour called 911 because they thought he was dead.
Wow. I can't decide what's worse: that he actually DID this or that he so readily admitted it! Yikes. I am very sorry for you and your son having to deal with this, but it's best that there's no contact at all.
Can you imagine if he had your son for days or overnights the worry you would have not knowing if he was drinking or not?! This is definitely a case of, be grateful for whatever you can in a bad situation.
He does get him every second weekend that's the scary part. He usually doesn't take him that often thankfully. I get little or no sleep those times.0 -
Sometimes it feels better to get it out. I hope it helps!I see Wonder Woman, also, @quiksylver296. Also, I'm a bit dyslexic (which another reason I have a hard time remembering full screen names) and I always call you "Quickysilver" in my head. That "y" seems to trip me up every time!
Confession: I have to go buy my husband a Father's Day card and gift after work and we're not even on speaking terms right now. This should be fun.
I hope you guys are doing better now. What is going on? I know a lot of people who are having relationship issues right now.
For us, the problem is what I've told him for years: we have three people in our relationship - me, him, and his EGO. Tired of dealing with the ego stuff. Didn't expect someone 10 1/2 years older than me to still have ego and maturity issues. But, it's not all him, of course. I've changed in the past 15 years. I don't complain about or talk about my marriage to anyone IRL, so in the spirit of the thread I just decided to take advantage of it and do a little personal whining.
Thank you for asking. How are YOU? I've been thinking about you and your situation as well.
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You are very wrong. Mr Shark says you're super great! Maybe take a break and concentrate on what's important to you this month. Weight loss can wait.Susieq_1994 wrote: »I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.
I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.
I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.
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qn4bx9pzg8aifd wrote: »
Yep... it was exhausting enough even without a breastfeeding aspect (I honestly don't know how women with multiples can handle such a circumstance if breastfeeding... having it be possible at all, from the standpoint of time, is one thing (and a feat worthy of some sort of breastfeeding logistics Olympic medal, at that (and multiples are not necessarily awake at the same time, or feed at the same time, or need a diaper change at the same time, etc. -- so it can turn into a kind of 'assembly line' -like actioning of tasks, and in an 'infinite loop' sort of seemingly-neverending fashion))... but to endure the physical and emotional demands of such, hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month -- (and OMG, the chronic sleep deprivation alone, from even one non-premie, non-breastfed child, is enough of a challenge for anyone -- but throw multiples into the equation (premies or not), let alone breastfeeding, and *holy, holy crap*) -- I seriously cannot freaking fathom it)...qn4bx9pzg8aifd wrote: »
A close relative of mine was unable to breastfeed her premie multiples, and each of those multi-month premies turned out just fine (better than, in fact)...riderfangal wrote: »
I didn't breast feed my son and sometimes I feel guilty about that especially because he was premature.kellienw335 wrote: »
Too funny! Breastfeeding, for me, was always uncomfortable. My son, the first kiddo, never took to it which was probably in part due to the fact that I wasn't that excited about it. I joked at the time that he was the first male to ever refuse...my chest area. LOL! I did BF, mostly pumped because I'm OCD, my daughter, the second and last kiddo, for about six months. I justified BF'd her because she had to go to daycare at six weeks while I was able to stay home with my son for the first eight months.I am on p 992. Here is my most embarrasing (or perhaps a tie) moment.
My most embarrassing moment.
...riderfangal, please don't feel guilty... premature or not, the little munchkins can get what they need, and do very, very well...
Goodness, I don't know how that would be possible for anyone! Multiples are hard enough, but add in premies and trying to nurse both?! Ugh. Talk about exhausting!
...and even if/when relatives and/or friends assist, it can still be a thoroughly exhausting reality for all involved... (nothing has ever tested my physical stamina like assisting a family with newborn premies (it remains the only time in my adulthood when the insomnia I'd otherwise done a tango with (and for as long as I could remember) didn't stand a chance... I was freakin' 'down for the count' when I dared to rest my head on a pillow (for any of the few random 'power naps' that seemed necessary in order to re-attain enough physical wherewithal to continue being physically upright)... and I was like a sleep-deprived 'zombie' so often while 'awake'))...
...assisting with the care of multiple premies was like a form of 'bootcamp', and tested the limits of my stamina like nothing before or since...
I have off-the-charts respect and compassion for those who raise children... and the depth of my empathy for those with newborn multiples cannot be put into words...
Could not agree with you more and good for you for being a help and putting yourself through that! That's really amazing.0 -
Sometimes it feels better to get it out. I hope it helps!I see Wonder Woman, also, @quiksylver296. Also, I'm a bit dyslexic (which another reason I have a hard time remembering full screen names) and I always call you "Quickysilver" in my head. That "y" seems to trip me up every time!
Confession: I have to go buy my husband a Father's Day card and gift after work and we're not even on speaking terms right now. This should be fun.
I hope you guys are doing better now. What is going on? I know a lot of people who are having relationship issues right now.
For us, the problem is what I've told him for years: we have three people in our relationship - me, him, and his EGO. Tired of dealing with the ego stuff. Didn't expect someone 10 1/2 years older than me to still have ego and maturity issues. But, it's not all him, of course. I've changed in the past 15 years. I don't complain about or talk about my marriage to anyone IRL, so in the spirit of the thread I just decided to take advantage of it and do a little personal whining.
Thank you for asking. How are YOU? I've been thinking about you and your situation as well.
It does, thank you. I even feel badly for saying it here, but sometimes we all just have to vent.0 -
Ok, if it's doggy pic time again, here's my Flossie. She's a cocker spaniel/bichon cross, so she's good for allergies. Sweetest dog in the world.
Edit: Ooh, giant picture - sorry! Also, why does it look like an oil painting?? Kids been at my phone again???
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Also hoping for you that this can be resolved. Maybe you both need to take a step back and let her do whatever she needs to do for a while, making it clear that you won't be walked over, but you do want her in your lives. I'm sure that the mother is poisonous and not helping things, but one day she'll figure things out for herself. I'm sorry that your husband is so hurt - he sounds like a lovely man who doesn't deserve to be treated like this.Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
What's the latest on the cat?
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Confession: my actual MFP account has my real name as my username (first and last - oops) and I can't get MFP to change it, so I made a new account specifically to respond to this thread. Hi! I have been lurking since the beginning. I feel like a peeping Tom or something, but the reason I haven't started posting here is because I barely have enough time to keep up, let alone get involved (I've been SOOOO tempted. Love you guys! You are all SUPER GREAT!).
Anyway, the reason I'm finally posting is because I find myself relating to @MoHousdon 's step daughter and thought I'd offer an alternate perspective. I have no idea if this is the case, but might she be an introvert and/or shy and/or socially anxious? I am all of these things, especially around people I don't know well and can't even come close to imagining trying to integrate into a new family. I would be so overwhelmed at the very thought. I might want to, but I wouldn't be able to make myself do it. That said, maybe baby steps would be a better approach? I could probably bring myself to meet for coffee for an hour (especially if I could bring a trusted friend), but to come into your home or live there? No way! It makes me incredibly anxious just thinking about it. I would have to get to know you first and feel comfortable. Anyway, I just thought I'd throw that out there. I cringe every time I see someone throw out the word "selfish", because there could be a whole lot more going on here.
Had to get that out! Back to lurking, I go...
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.
I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.
I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.
Please keep coming back here. We have times when we are down on ourselves. I know that fasting has to be difficult. I would probably have the same reaction. Any chance you can plan what you will have to break the fast and stick to that? You are not worthless, you are worth more than you know.
Usually I do--I plan out the day as Suhoor (pre-dawn meal), Iftar (fast break meal), and then dinner. But lately I just haven't CARED, and after iftar I just mow down all kinds of food. Cookies, bread, hummus, peanut butter chips, just anything.
I just can't seem to bring myself to care enough to stick to my plan, it has nothing to do with hunger or anything like that, or even a reaction to fasting all day (keep in mind that I've been fasting for over 10 years, I'm very used to it--I don't usually react this way at all! I'm sure it isn't the fasting). I end up eating way over and then just deleting everything from my log for the day. :-/
No way I'm leaving this thread, I've been here since day one and I'm not going anywhere. 0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
It's a bit weird to me that she would get like this AFTER trying to find him. My mom had a restraining order against my biological father when I was little, and he signed away his legal right to me, but she would have let me get to know him if I'd wanted. Even now, if I decided I wanted to find him and have a relationship, she'd support me.
For what it's worth, I don't want to know him. I know enough about why there was a restraining order in the first place, and know he would occasionally run into my mom's younger sister (who is a terrible human being - not judgement, just fact) who would give him updates about me (without asking me, of course). I look at it like he never made the effort to follow up, even once I was an adult and my mom couldn't stop him.
I do sometimes wonder if I have half siblings somewhere, but I'm not sure I want to start that kind of relationship at this point even if I did. Too much pressure, you know?
I can imagine her being totally conflicted at only 19, when I'm still unsure at 31. Especially with a strong negative influence behind her. She may just need time (and space - possibly from both sides) to figure out what she wants.
Here's hoping that she comes around!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.
I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.
I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.
Please keep coming back here. We have times when we are down on ourselves. I know that fasting has to be difficult. I would probably have the same reaction. Any chance you can plan what you will have to break the fast and stick to that? You are not worthless, you are worth more than you know.
Usually I do--I plan out the day as Suhoor (pre-dawn meal), Iftar (fast break meal), and then dinner. But lately I just haven't CARED, and after iftar I just mow down all kinds of food. Cookies, bread, hummus, peanut butter chips, just anything.
I just can't seem to bring myself to care enough to stick to my plan, it has nothing to do with hunger or anything like that, or even a reaction to fasting all day (keep in mind that I've been fasting for over 10 years, I'm very used to it--I don't usually react this way at all! I'm sure it isn't the fasting). I end up eating way over and then just deleting everything from my log for the day. :-/
No way I'm leaving this thread, I've been here since day one and I'm not going anywhere.
I'm glad you're back!! I was going to message you today if you hadn't posted in here to make sure you were ok.
For the eating thing, just keep on trying.
You ARE worth looking after!!0 -
I see Wonder Woman, also, @quiksylver296. Also, I'm a bit dyslexic (which another reason I have a hard time remembering full screen names) and I always call you "Quickysilver" in my head. That "y" seems to trip me up every time!
Confession: I have to go buy my husband a Father's Day card and gift after work and we're not even on speaking terms right now. This should be fun.
I hope you guys are doing better now. What is going on? I know a lot of people who are having relationship issues right now.
For us, the problem is what I've told him for years: we have three people in our relationship - me, him, and his EGO. Tired of dealing with the ego stuff. Didn't expect someone 10 1/2 years older than me to still have ego and maturity issues. But, it's not all him, of course. I've changed in the past 15 years. I don't complain about or talk about my marriage to anyone IRL, so in the spirit of the thread I just decided to take advantage of it and do a little personal whining.
Thank you for asking. How are YOU? I've been thinking about you and your situation as well.
I meant to ask...did the card and tequila work?0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »
I don't if this works!
ETA: it did! This was Charlie and I at the end of our day at the zoo
this is before we set off:
Lunchtime:
this was charlie at the end of the day:
and i might be a little bit biased, but i do think he really is a beautiful kid
ADORABLE!0 -
We live just outside the area that cable internet reaches to, so our only viable option is satellite internet. For the price, I just decided to get a smart phone instead. My husband doesn't care at all about internet and would be happy if I didn't insist on having Direct TV! My in-laws live about 3 miles from us and have wi-fi, but they were having modem issues this weekend!0 -
Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Where are you going in Florida?? I will also be there next week!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.
I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.
I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.
Please keep coming back here. We have times when we are down on ourselves. I know that fasting has to be difficult. I would probably have the same reaction. Any chance you can plan what you will have to break the fast and stick to that? You are not worthless, you are worth more than you know.
Usually I do--I plan out the day as Suhoor (pre-dawn meal), Iftar (fast break meal), and then dinner. But lately I just haven't CARED, and after iftar I just mow down all kinds of food. Cookies, bread, hummus, peanut butter chips, just anything.
I just can't seem to bring myself to care enough to stick to my plan, it has nothing to do with hunger or anything like that, or even a reaction to fasting all day (keep in mind that I've been fasting for over 10 years, I'm very used to it--I don't usually react this way at all! I'm sure it isn't the fasting). I end up eating way over and then just deleting everything from my log for the day. :-/
No way I'm leaving this thread, I've been here since day one and I'm not going anywhere.
Good thing. We would all miss you if you weren't here. I loved your book by the way. Maybe it is time for a break and reevaluate a bit.
0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.
I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.
I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.
This makes me so sad. You are not worthless. You are an important part of this thread, that's for sure!! Keep reading and posting...hang in there!!0 -
You are very wrong. Mr Shark says you're super great! Maybe take a break and concentrate on what's important to you this month. Weight loss can wait.Susieq_1994 wrote: »I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.
I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.
I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.
+10
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