So freakin MAD

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cdskates
cdskates Posts: 49 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I've been exercising this week with my father. He's been "teaching" me how to run. Sounds silly, but I don't know how to form my stride or breathe while running without passing out in somebody's front lawn.

I'm a college student. I stay up late studying so I can make it through college and move on to bigger and better (haha...) things. In addition to late nights, I've been going running at 5:30am... We've been at this a total of 3 days (was storming Monday morning). I'm doing my best, but I'm really exhausted all the time and my body is SORE from all this exercise that I'm not used to.

Today, in addition to trying to learn MY stride so that I can run without wasting energy AND trying to breathe without hyperventilating, my father decided that we need to up the number of minutes we're running. I gave it my all. I mean, I ran until spots appeared before my eyes, and I felt like I couldn't breathe AT ALL. I did my best, but I'm way out of shape. Instead of saying "Hey, you're doin great, especially for the first week" because I am...He says "F*** this. You're not even trying. I've TOLD you how to breathe, I've TOLD you how to make your stride, and you can't even do that? Just go home. I'm done with you." I cried the entire way home.

THIS is why I'm GAINING weight. Everybody keeps putting me down no matter how hard I try. And I AM trying... I'm 20 years old. I weigh 200lbs. I've never run like this in my life. Even in gym class back in High School they were like "Eh, just walk the track a few times....call it done." Nobody will HELP me, I don't know how to eat right or exercise worth ANYTHING.

I am so close to just giving up. If my own FATHER can't believe in me, how am I supposed to continue?
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Replies

  • NicolePatriot
    NicolePatriot Posts: 621 Member
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    I'm sorry that your father is not a very good communicator and can't encourage you. You can't let it get you down. You have to do this for YOU! It can get really hard going through this journey by yourself but let us help motivate you! Also, you can find pretty much anything on google...you can do it, don't lose hope. It's hard but we're all here for you and only want you to succeed! Keep your head up, buttercup :):)
  • morawjo
    morawjo Posts: 74 Member
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    Try the Couch25K program. It really helped me and prior to it, I'd never run a day in my life...and was always the fat kid in gym that couldn't do anything. I can now run 30 minutes straight. It is a 9 week program that gradually teaches you to run. Give that a shot...and leave your Dad at home. You can do this!
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    he's been watching Jillian Michaels too much. tough love isn't always necessary.

    YOU ARE doing great!!!! just keep at it. don't run with him. but still run, prove him wrong!
  • losermomof3
    losermomof3 Posts: 386 Member
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    I am so sorry that your father is not being supportive. How ignorant! I am also sorry to hear that no one has been supportive. I understand how you feel. People have given up on me all the time, but it just makes me want to prove to them that I can do it with or without their help. You just got to push yourself. It will make you a stronger person. I hope that it goes better for you.
  • brandiqua
    brandiqua Posts: 2
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    Maybe running isn't your thing - try something else and above all YOU need to have faith in YOU and it doesn't matter if anyone else does. Try a bike, try tennis - try ANYTHING - find you're niche. It's out there and don't blame your dad - it is probably hard for him too. He believe in you or he wouldn't have tried in the first place. :)
  • MJLavaty
    MJLavaty Posts: 72 Member
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    So sorry : ( That really sucks. You can learn to eat right, exercise/run and lose weight. I have never been a runner and finally a couple weeks ago worked up to running a min out of every 5. I ended up screwing up my knee and now I can't get on the treadmill. I will get back on when I feel better. Don't let him make you feel so bad that you give up. Screw him if he is going to be that way! I know he is your father and you love and respect that opinion but things like this take time. He can't just snap his fingers and expect you to be the way HE wants you to be. Its amazing that you are trying to make a life change : ) You can find some amazing and supportive friends on here.
  • Just1forMe
    Just1forMe Posts: 624 Member
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    You have every right to be mad. Your dad sucks. Sorry....I don't usually talk like that, but in this case, the only other words I can think of are much worse. Do NOT listen to him. You don't need help from him. Everything you need to succeed is in YOU! Don't worry about breathing right...just move! It will get easier. If you don't truly enjoy running, then do power walking. Or some other thing that gets you moving. You can do this! Don't do it to "show" your dad...just do it for YOU!!! It sounds like you really want to succeed. If you have that, you can do anything! I BELIEVE IN YOU. Channel your anger into energy and use it to get this done! I'm so sorry that your dad
    said that to you. That was just wrong. If he is a decent person, he will realize it and apologize. You deserve better. ((((Hugs))))
    :flowerforyou:
  • breezymom81
    breezymom81 Posts: 499 Member
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    For me,I like to prove others wrong! If you can hire a trainer, or talk to the school about one, lots of collages have gyms and students going to school for nutrition/physical intern at them. It can be easier to have someone like this teach us things. Plus these people tend to be much more supportive. If that is not an option, ask a friend or looking gfor a jogging club on campus. There are lots of ways to find support. We all believe in you! It is time to put this in your own hands, don't blame others anymore, put that in the past and show everyone what you are made of! Feel free to freind me for support
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
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    That is so sad. You are doing great, dealing with college, while trying to get healthy. Your father probably just doesn't realize how he made you feel. Some fathers think it is tuff love and it will only make you try harder. Or he could have had a bad morning and took it out on you. All my kids try to play sports, their dad trys to teach them things and gets very frustrated when they don't do it just like they're told. We have decided it is best that dad don't teach them how anymore. We are paying for others to teach them.

    There is a great program called C25k. I found podicast that really work for me on www.c25k.com, they tell you when to run and when to walk, there is music played to keep you upbeat and ready to go. Maybe you should try that and only run with your dad once you have got the experience.
  • Xaspar
    Xaspar Posts: 726 Member
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    Try the Couch25K program. It really helped me and prior to it, I'd never run a day in my life...and was always the fat kid in gym that couldn't do anything. I can now run 30 minutes straight. It is a 9 week program that gradually teaches you to run. Give that a shot...and leave your Dad at home. You can do this!

    Yeah, I second this!
  • kctbo
    kctbo Posts: 29
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    I use to think "I am going to stay fat until my family (father) learns to love who I am". I changed that mind set in January. I told myself "I am going to do this for ME, I am going to get myself healthy....I no longer care what everyone else says". Since I have been taking care of myself, I have lost 24 pounds. My family have said some postiive words....but you know what....know that I look at them, they have no room to talk. Anyways, what I am getting to...YOU CAN DO IT! We will help you. Do not give up!
  • gidgeclev
    gidgeclev Posts: 103 Member
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    Don't run with your dad, try and find a female running group for encouragement and support or a female friend to go running with. Men are just far too competitive. I would question the benefit of running so hard that you get spots before the eyes, it's supposed to be fun otherwise you won't stick with it.
  • IamBrande
    IamBrande Posts: 237
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    I dont think it is very practical, to just take off running, with high expectations if you have not ever ran or exercised before. I think you are setting yourself up, for failure. you do not need your father to run. do your own thing. Get up , go run, put your Ipod headphones in your ears, and time yourself for a 20min Run (10 min one way, 10min back) ....OR join a C25k group on here (google c25k to learn what it is about)..... You have to build endurance to run... I have a very good endurance, and I've been working out for years, however, Runnning? Sucks, and "I" dont really like it to much, I doubt I could run 10 minutes without falling over in someone's lawn!!

    As far as you "not knowing how to eat healthy".... I do not mean to offend you but I am calling that bullcrap. Healthy food are taught to every elementary school student....

    You know healthy from unhealthy............. you chose to make the unhealthy choices....

    be strong.... reach for an apple instead of that candy bar.... order the Salad instead of the Big Mac

    Eat more steamed veggies and less starchy pasta....

    you know HOW to eat healthy, you just chose not too.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    First off... you shouldn't be running three days in a row, especially when you're just starting!

    Send your dad over here. Lemme slap him upside the head for you. :noway:
  • DarkDiva2005
    DarkDiva2005 Posts: 140
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    Wow your Dad sounds like my Mom. I understand how deep those words cut, and I'm sorry darlin. But we are here for you, let us be your cheerleaders! :) Don't let others put you down, your doing this for yourself not for anybody else. :)
  • jtrepagnier
    jtrepagnier Posts: 1
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    Do not resist the temptation to learn how to run. I hope that your dad is a great one and let his parenting skills slip on this attempt to teach and guide you. Fathers hold the key to your heart and being a father myself, I understand how this occurence has affected you. In my experience, it is best to talk to your father, but wait until you stop being angry. Don't give up on your health because of what "one man" has said; even if he is your pops. I believe that you can do it! We are here to encourage you!! Trust in Jesus, he is the Way!!
  • barbacasec
    barbacasec Posts: 106
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    Do it by yourself. :)
    I find running alone very relaxing. Try the C25k plan... eases you into running so you can work on your breathing and stride.
    What a better way to prove to everyone that you you can do it by training and then running a 5k race!!

    I know it hurts when people put you down and say you arent trying when you feel you are. Been there done that but you know what... I turn it into motivation to show people that I can do it. !!!
    When ever I feel I am going to stop or dont "feel" like working out I say to my self
    are you going to prove everyone right and give up or are you going to prove them wrong and then I keep going!!!

    Your dad should be happy that you want to try... and he should let you go at your pace not his.... thats why I suggest running alone... unless you can find someone else who is just starting out to help push.. yes sometimes it is better to train with people who are faster etc than you becuase it pushes you to do more - but it can also backfire if you dont get to thier level fast enough......

    PLease keep going and just take it one day at a time.
    Good luck!!
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
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    I started out walking, then walking faster, now I run...but I have not made it more than 1mile at a time. I believe in you and know you can do this. Just start out slower, let your body catch up with you.

    I do all my exercising on my own now. I have tried to get people to join, but noone ever stays. Just give it YOUR best! Not what someone/anyone EXPECTS of you. Do what your body is comfortable with. You will get there, I promise!!

    If you need encouragement/someone to talk to, feel free to add me and we can push through this :happy:
  • jml107
    jml107 Posts: 27
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    I'm 20 years old and started this year at 224 pounds. Thanks to dieting and exercise I am down to 181 and still dropping. Running isn't for everyone. I found my favorite way to get cardio in is either biking outdoors, working out on a stationary bike at the gym, or rollar blading. You have to find what is right for you and you can't kill yourself instantly. All that'll do is lay you up in a hospital. :) I'm sure you can lose weight, you just have to find something you enjoy doing. If running is something you love go out without your dad and find your own pace. If he's an avid runner his pace is probably too much for you anyways and all it is doing is forcing you to break yourself. Don't give up!
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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    There's always speed walking...
    I never ran, ever, ever....I was always a big chested girl, but when I was 26 I finally decided to take my Doc's advice and do something about all the pain I had over the years and had a reduction.
    I continued to walk (even though one of my goals after the surgery was to run) and one night when no body was looking I pushed the button on the tread mill and didn't let up. I was running. It actually felt really good. So I slowed down, walked a little bit more, and then pushed the button again and started running. I don't do it continuously, I still cant handle running for more than 5 minutes, but mixing up a walking routine with small bouts of running does help, well at least with the "feeling sooo out of breath" part. (At least for me anyway) Just a suggestion.
    But it's the whole who cares what anyone else expects from you...do it for you, and when you succeed, feel giddy about it and then do it again. :) Good Luck.

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