Bad experience at the gym and feeling discouraged

I like going to the gym and working out. I just dislike the attitudes of some people there and the competitive environment. I usually go to the gym late at night to avoid the crowds and it's usually the same people At my local gym. But lately there is a new group of people because a special price going on for new members. For example, a group of women would talk about everyone in the gym and very loudly. As if it is beauty contest in the gym. They even talked about me. When I work out I do sweat if I'm on the same fitness equipment for hour. I work out because I want to lose weight and I know I am fat. It gets very discouraging to have people judge you and you're trying so hard. I do have very low self esteem and things like this bother me probably more than most people.
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Replies

  • jesusarolon
    jesusarolon Posts: 208 Member
    I have heard great things about Curves. Do you have one in your area?
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    Please remember that their bullying is a reflection of them and not you. I would complain to management if you hear them again, as I believe you have the right to be in a pleasant environment.

    You should be proud of your efforts - you are obviously working hard and making an effort to change. Please don't be discouraged by these women!
  • mamasmaltz3
    mamasmaltz3 Posts: 1,111 Member
    I would report them also. I'm sure you won't be the only one complaining. Nobody needs to put up with that.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,209 Member
    I'd be having a word to management if this is an ongoing thing. It's in the management's best interests to have people feeling comfortable in their gym.
  • leeyuhsee
    leeyuhsee Posts: 60 Member
    Ugh. They sound creepy. What sort of decent human being does that?
    I'm sorry it made you feel bad. You have every right to get angry/complain!
  • SillyCat1975
    SillyCat1975 Posts: 328 Member
    Please remember that their bullying is a reflection of them and not you. I would complain to management if you hear them again, as I believe you have the right to be in a pleasant environment.

    You should be proud of your efforts - you are obviously working hard and making an effort to change. Please don't be discouraged by these women!

    This!
  • blossomholly
    blossomholly Posts: 5,179 Member
    That's disgraceful, no one has the right to do that to you or others,you should defiantly report them or change gyms when your contract ends.
  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
    report them. They are making the gym environment uncomfortable for you.
  • Numb5kull
    Numb5kull Posts: 249 Member
    Just be grateful that the things you want to improve about yourself are a work in progress. They need improvement on the inside, which is a far less likely achievement to ever be realized.

    Just keep doing you.
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
    People judging others in the gym is the exact opposite of what they should be doing. These people are obviously insecure about themselves (hence the need to openly judge others, most likely speaking loudly so you hear them.)

    Just report them. Besides, they are probably going to have quit the gym within a month after they get their "beach bodies" along side their detox programmes they spent stupid amounts of money on!
  • ariloz02
    ariloz02 Posts: 2 Member
    I agree with talking to management but remember you're there for YOU!!! Be proud!!! :)
  • samantha0131
    samantha0131 Posts: 29 Member
    Aww hunny!! I'm sorry, I felt the same way went I went to the gym! I felt like the fat one and everyone is looking at me wondering why I am here, even tho it is obvious!
    Remember one thing!!!
    Weight is a number and it can come off, but bad attitudes and manners don't change!! There is always going to be those people who love to judge other people and it sucks!!
    I have a hate/love relationship with the gym, I like what they have but i always hated feeling like I was being judge, so I go on walks now and been working it off.
    I know I shouldn't care either but we do, so now I just keep to myself and do my own thing.
    I even do workouts at home (YouTube) and participate in a lot of online activities so I interact with People who motivate me and I can help motivate them!!
    You're doing great!! You're trying every day!! Keep having faith in yourself, we will show the world we can do this! Hugs!!!
  • heidyballer
    heidyballer Posts: 1 Member
    Wow! Shame on them! That is truly discusting. Please know that I am sooo proud of you.
  • lewispwest
    lewispwest Posts: 498 Member
    I'd be judging them that they are standing around talking crap about people rather than sorting themselves out. Then again you can lose the weight, they'll always be b!tches!
  • Emmatyan
    Emmatyan Posts: 87 Member
    I just always remember my mother. She is overweight and doesn't take any care about her appearance at all, but she's always so eager to judge the slightest flaws in other people.
    People are there in the gym to work as hard as they can and sweat, and if they don't, it means they are wasting time there.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Take your phone along a couple of times and record their comments. Then play it for management. Usually there is an employee of the gym around---haven't they been listening to this group? You have every right to train in peace. Best. B)
  • mwyvr
    mwyvr Posts: 1,883 Member
    edited June 2015
    Report them.

    If that doesn't give you enough satisfaction, walk up to them and tell them to go **** themselves.

    But I'd try reporting them first. You deserve to be there as much as anyone... and you know that. Frankly if you can ignore them or laugh at them that would be stronger medicine for you. Double down and do your own thing. They'll disappear soon enough.
  • Karen_can_do_this
    Karen_can_do_this Posts: 1,150 Member
    What a pack of evil biatches
  • unrelentingminx
    unrelentingminx Posts: 231 Member
    Wear your sweat with pride. It's proof that you are working hard to mould your body into something new. If these women after their 'workout' barely have a hair out of place or a smudge in their makeup then they are wasting their time and money being there. Don't waste yours by being putting off doing your thing because of their narrow-mindedness.
  • Onyx1303
    Onyx1303 Posts: 5 Member
    Be proud of your sweat, you earned it!!!!! But yeah I would definitely report them as well absolutely disgraceful, they should be getting their buts moving instead of standing and gossiping.
  • michaelabennet
    michaelabennet Posts: 8 Member
    "Sweat is just your fat crying" so someone told me once.

    You should be proud that you are actually in the gym working out and not standing around gossiping like others. Definitely report them, but keep your head up and carry on. :)
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    get a pair of big headphones and twist their necks...in your mind (it's illegal to do this for real!!!)
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    report them.

    theyll quit soon anyways, i imagine. if mgt rushes the process along, all the better.
  • TomBristow
    TomBristow Posts: 22 Member
    You're not alone. I was at a gym class about 6 months ago, and it was a Boxfit class, which I've actually been doing for about 5 years on and off so I knew what I was doing.

    Anyway, I hadn't been in a few months and this random guy comes up to me and says "You're going to struggle today. You're going to hate this". I had no idea who he was - but he was saying it in a way as if he was trying to get under my skin.

    I still haven't forgotten it and I can't wait to get fit and prove him wrong.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Another thing to remember--I've been swimming for 20 yrs and have seen alot of jerks (both male and female) come and go. I've outlasted them all. I try to remember this when someone really is crass and bugs me. These people exist and they eventually go away. Tell yourself that you're in this for the long haul, and they are just passing blips on your screen. B)
  • ohmscheeks
    ohmscheeks Posts: 840 Member
    You are not being overly sensitive. It sounds like a good opportunity to practice standing up for yourself - How you go about that is totally up to you. Confront them, report them, just do something (within your realm of control)... It is scary, but worth the investment in your self-esteem.
  • ChiffonLaRue14
    ChiffonLaRue14 Posts: 40 Member
    Sorry to hear that. I sometimes go to the gym to join my brother when he works out and I often see groups of women like the ones you mentioned. All they do is stare at people and gossip. My bro jokingly calls them a "hunting party" as some of these women actually go to the gym to flirt. Best thing to do is ignore them. It can be annoying but you already win the moment you don't let them get to you.

    Besides, you will be enjoying your own healthy success real soon. Since I am a big, imposingly tall girl I actually tend to stare women like these down but as I'd said ignoring them is easier.

    People can be cruel to those of us who are doing our best to lose weight/ keep fit but as the other posters had said, it only shows what kind of crappy people they are. Please keep on keeping on and don't give up :)

    Best of luck!

    - Arianna
  • bluefish86
    bluefish86 Posts: 842 Member
    My brother is a personal trainer. When he see's someone who is overweight at the gym, he'll say things like "Look at that person... they're killing it! That's how you make progress!".

    Don't pay attention to shallow people that judge you on your looks. There are much better people out there that are willing to judge you on your character.
  • Zowiesb
    Zowiesb Posts: 19 Member
    Horrible people but I know how you feel. Were they working up a sweat? If not then they are doing it wrong and you're doing it right (that's what I tell myself). You never know they might stop going to the gym eventually. But don't pay attention to them. You are working hard and doing it right. Be proud of that and not embarrassed by other people's actions.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    leeyuhsee wrote: »
    Ugh. They sound creepy. What sort of decent human being does that?
    I'm sorry it made you feel bad. You have every right to get angry/complain!

    Well they're not decent humans in this situation are they?