Bad experience at the gym and feeling discouraged

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  • chelsy0587
    chelsy0587 Posts: 441 Member
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    I agree with others, report them, or ignore them... Sadly this is life and people will probably never stop being hateful or rude.

    For the most part though, you'll find that the regular crowd at the gym is kind and helpful. Some women can even be nice and support your progress... and THAT feels AWESOME!
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
    edited June 2015
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    You could always politely point out to them how ignorant they look paying for a gym membership only to hang around and gossip about other people. The only stupid people in a gym are the ones who don't want to work! There are no cool points for doing laps around the free weights, playing on your iPod. And no, an hour on the elliptical without breaking a sweat is not work. Go walk outside and quit taking up space. Tell them to keep their ill-gotten judgements to themselves and start obeying the time limits on the damn cardio machines. BOOM.
  • Talamasca1
    Talamasca1 Posts: 3 Member
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    Could you possibly plug your headphones in and put on your favorite playlist when they come in? Or focus on an encouraging video, meditation tape, etc., while on cardio machines?

    Also, I love this from bluefish86's brother: <<When he see's someone who is overweight at the gym, he'll say things like "Look at that person... they're killing it! That's how you make progress!">>
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
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    I have had gym memberships and I have always been a member of a fitness center too. the fitness centers are more sophisticated and this kind of stuff rarely goes on there. Lifetime Fitness, Healthtrax, YMCA fitness. ...they are fitness centers
  • SaintGiff
    SaintGiff Posts: 3,678 Member
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    Yeah, but no, to all of the "report them" people. No offense, but this is a grown up gym and not a playground during recess. Just... and I say this as the old fat guy who I know is the butt of myriad jokes in every gym I've ever disgraced with my presence, just change your attitude rather than worrying about theirs. Revel in your sweat. It is glorious. Wear whatever you want. Wear mismatched socks. Let people stare. Let people talk. Because here's the deal; you're not there to look good in the gym. You're in the gym to look good everywhere else. Trying to look good while you're in the gym is like trying to look good while you're having sex. You can look good doing it, or you can do it well, but if you're worried about the former you're going to fail at the latter. Look like a hot, sweaty, smelly mess in the gym. And give zero cares what people say about it. You'll end up looking much better than them everywhere else. And you'll be a much happier person.
  • Talamasca1
    Talamasca1 Posts: 3 Member
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    @sofaking6, I LOVE, LOVE your 3-step technique! :D
  • shedthesweater
    shedthesweater Posts: 279 Member
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    nicoleexo2015 wrote: »
    I like going to the gym and working out. I just dislike the attitudes of some people there and the competitive environment. I usually go to the gym late at night to avoid the crowds and it's usually the same people At my local gym. But lately there is a new group of people because a special price going on for new members. For example, a group of women would talk about everyone in the gym and very loudly. As if it is beauty contest in the gym. They even talked about me. When I work out I do sweat if I'm on the same fitness equipment for hour. I work out because I want to lose weight and I know I am fat. It gets very discouraging to have people judge you and you're trying so hard. I do have very low self esteem and things like this bother me probably more than most people.

    WOW! not sure if I'm shocked with the way people act these days, and the horrible words that come out of their insecure selves, but it makes me Sick! and you do not deserve this AT ALL!! take this to management for sure! I love my gym, I go between the same hours almost every morning, and I never hear anyone talking bad about anyone. We're all here trying to improve our health, or lose weight, tone up, whatever it may be, we have no right to judge someone else. We have no idea, why their larger, or what their goals are, maybe their sick, trying to get well. How DARE! these disgusting people who have nothing better to do than to talk crap about other's. Again due to their lack of self esteem, they have to carry on like this.

    You walk into that gym, with your head held high, and next time you hear it, you take it to a manager, and be firm about it. You are doing amazing by going there, taking care of YOU, and no one needs to bring you down.


    If you can go in the mornings I really think it's a more mature crowd at least at my gym it is. Try a different time if you feel you need to to stay away from any negative people. Most important is that you're happy, your paying a membership to attend this gym, and tell management, there are plenty of other gyms out there that you can choose if something isn't done.

    Keep us posted, keep up the great work. Enjoy your evening!
  • Talamasca1
    Talamasca1 Posts: 3 Member
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    One more thing: if you have a smartphone, pull up this board while on cardio machines, or in between sets on the weight machines. Read a comment or two each time, and smile to yourself! (Even better--smile out loud so they see it!)
  • Noodle797
    Noodle797 Posts: 366 Member
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    Oh man, you are all so much nicer than I am!! I had a run-in with these women in the locker room shortly after I joined my gym. They would take up the whole bench with their bags & towels all spread out so I'd have to move to another bench across from my locker then they'd snicker to each other in none too quiet voices about how fat & gross I am. I tried to be civil for a long time (at least 2 weeks, I swear!), but finally I said, "Hey, you know, I can hear you; being overweight doesn't mean that I'm deaf. And if I have to choose between being fat & a decent human being or being thin & being a complete Cee U Next Tuesday like you two I guess I'd choose to be fat." They never ever said another word to me & they get lockers on the complete opposite side of the locker room from me now. Oh yeah, I learned how to defend myself ages ago & if they or anyone else doesn't like it too f-ing bad.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
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    shedthesweater wrote: »
    nicoleexo2015 wrote: »
    I like going to the gym and working out. I just dislike the attitudes of some people there and the competitive environment. I usually go to the gym late at night to avoid the crowds and it's usually the same people At my local gym. But lately there is a new group of people because a special price going on for new members. For example, a group of women would talk about everyone in the gym and very loudly. As if it is beauty contest in the gym. They even talked about me. When I work out I do sweat if I'm on the same fitness equipment for hour. I work out because I want to lose weight and I know I am fat. It gets very discouraging to have people judge you and you're trying so hard. I do have very low self esteem and things like this bother me probably more than most people.

    WOW! not sure if I'm shocked with the way people act these days, and the horrible words that come out of their insecure selves, but it makes me Sick! and you do not deserve this AT ALL!! take this to management for sure! I love my gym, I go between the same hours almost every morning, and I never hear anyone talking bad about anyone. We're all here trying to improve our health, or lose weight, tone up, whatever it may be, we have no right to judge someone else. We have no idea, why their larger, or what their goals are, maybe their sick, trying to get well. How DARE! these disgusting people who have nothing better to do than to talk crap about other's. Again due to their lack of self esteem, they have to carry on like this.

    You walk into that gym, with your head held high, and next time you hear it, you take it to a manager, and be firm about it. You are doing amazing by going there, taking care of YOU, and no one needs to bring you down.


    If you can go in the mornings I really think it's a more mature crowd at least at my gym it is. Try a different time if you feel you need to to stay away from any negative people. Most important is that you're happy, your paying a membership to attend this gym, and tell management, there are plenty of other gyms out there that you can choose if something isn't done.

    Keep us posted, keep up the great work. Enjoy your evening!

    GOOD RESPONSE. and YES do try in the morning because people do not drag themselves out of bed to screw off in a gym...they do it to work. Mornings are great!
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
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    I'm a snot. I would bust out some serious sweat, and then get off the machine and walk over to them, arms up, and just be all, "good workout, ladies! who wants a hug? bring it in, bring it in. whoooo! you smell that? that is sucCESS! YEAH!" ;)

    but reporting them would probably be a wiser option. blah blah blah. dust that shoulder off, and show them what you've got.
  • GuineaKitty
    GuineaKitty Posts: 97 Member
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    Girl if chicks hating on you you must be doing something right. Keep going and wear head phones (loud phones) and smile when the hate starts.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,521 Member
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    Don't worry, they won't last long. I've been going to the same gym pretty much everyday for 3+ years. Those types come and go...frequently.
  • Noodle797
    Noodle797 Posts: 366 Member
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    SaintGiff wrote: »
    Yeah, but no, to all of the "report them" people. No offense, but this is a grown up gym and not a playground during recess. Just... and I say this as the old fat guy who I know is the butt of myriad jokes in every gym I've ever disgraced with my presence, just change your attitude rather than worrying about theirs. Revel in your sweat. It is glorious. Wear whatever you want. Wear mismatched socks. Let people stare. Let people talk. Because here's the deal; you're not there to look good in the gym. You're in the gym to look good everywhere else. Trying to look good while you're in the gym is like trying to look good while you're having sex. You can look good doing it, or you can do it well, but if you're worried about the former you're going to fail at the latter. Look like a hot, sweaty, smelly mess in the gym. And give zero cares what people say about it. You'll end up looking much better than them everywhere else. And you'll be a much happier person.

    I love this so much ^^^^^. I swim every morning & lift a couple of times a week and I've had coversations with my mom about it. She said she'd love to swim but she'd look too fat in a swimsuit & I'm like, hey! i weigh 100lbs more than you! & i don't give a rat's rear end what I look like when I work out, I'm there to work, not worry about what other people think about me. I'd say that 99% of the people at my gym are awsome, but there are always going to be a few turds to contend with. That's the reality of living in this world unfortunately. If you're the confrontational type like me you call them out & 4 out of 5 times they're really embarrassed about it & avoid you because they know they're turds or if you're non-confrontational you ignore them because honestly why should the opinion of some dim-wit you don't even know matter?
  • nicoleexo2015
    nicoleexo2015 Posts: 98 Member
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    Thank you all for your responses and I really do appreciate it. All of the advice and tips are very helpful. I was just so down yesterday and that didn't help . I'm pretty sure somebody reported them because how they were gossiping about so many people and playing in the gym. I am just going tune people out like that with music and headphones. And just stay focused on my goals.
  • NesCastanon
    NesCastanon Posts: 101 Member
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    F those people. You are trying to do you and Fu*K what they are talking about. Go on and get your workout on.
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,531 Member
    edited June 2015
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    nicoleexo2015 wrote: »
    Thank you all for your responses and I really do appreciate it. All of the advice and tips are very helpful. I was just so down yesterday and that didn't help . I'm pretty sure somebody reported them because how they were gossiping about so many people and playing in the gym. I am just going tune people out like that with music and headphones. And just stay focused on my goals.

    You know, they sound like "newbies." Give them a month, or even the summer, and I betch'ya they will eventually leave. If they are too busy gossiping & being busybodies, then they sure as heck aren't working out. And those who pretend can only pretend for so long before it gets too much for them to even bother showing up! Meanwhile, you'll be there doing your workout thing, and getting smaller & smaller. And I bet too that you can run circles around them.

    BTW, I've never been in a gym that is that catty before. Or maybe I have, but I had my headsets plugged into my ears & watched the TV while I was on a machine or something like that. Or maybe I had a hot guy teacher in the cardio classes. <3 All am saying is, get in there and do your thing. Keep after it. :)

    (eta: LifeTime Fitness has hot guy instructors lol too busy watching them)
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Im sure its all been said, so i agree with the ones who said
    1. Sorry you felt sad, but its 100% down to you how you react.
    2. You know why you are exercising it which is 100% good for you so focus on that.
    3. Get some headphones and ignore.
    4. Dont worry, its not worth it.
  • luluinca
    luluinca Posts: 2,899 Member
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    I started back at a gym, after about two decades at the age of 63 and 70 lbs over weight. The very first day I tried to be friendly with an older couple there thinking they would be friendly just because we were about the same age..............LOL. They snubbed me in a very obnoxious way and continued to snub both my husband and myself for a year. Luckily I'm not an overly sensitive old lady............I've learned.............but it was surprising.

    Fast forward 21 months and now I'm sort of the darling granny of the gym who can dead lift 165 lbs and hangs out with lifters and trainers young and old.......the joke's on them. Of course now they want to be friends, but unfortunately while I may not be super sensitive I do have a very long memory, so they can try buddying up to someone else.

    Do your thing, wear your headphones, dress comfortably (not fashionably), and work. There's a big payoff on the other side of that and it has nothing to do with the gym meanies.
  • cuppykat
    cuppykat Posts: 16 Member
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    nicoleexo2015 wrote: »
    Thank you all for your responses and I really do appreciate it. All of the advice and tips are very helpful. I was just so down yesterday and that didn't help . I'm pretty sure somebody reported them because how they were gossiping about so many people and playing in the gym. I am just going tune people out like that with music and headphones. And just stay focused on my goals.

    Just in case, I would suggest talking to management so that the complaints pile up.

    Some people are just miserable on the inside. I feel bad for them, they must be so bitter. I recently had someone start making fun of me when I was outside jogging minding my own business. I can only imagine how pathetic this person's life is and feel glad it ain't me!

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