You are fat says the woman driving down the street.
SillyCat1975
Posts: 328 Member
Me and my husband was walking down the street, it was hot as hades outside, I mean really hot, I wear a sports bra, I don't want to die of a heatstroke, I mean it's 85 degrees outside, I weigh 170 pounds, I know probably not sports bra appropriate ( because I'm heavy). So she comes up beside up in a gas station and yells out her window, "you need to wear a shirt' then they proceed to pull in, I should have held my tongue, I really should have. But, I couldn't, I said some pretty mean things to this random stranger as she sat there insulting me and my weight. That comment made me feel super awful about myself. I've lost focus of my weight loss goals,vI planned on 5 pounds by the end of July, I've not lost any weight in a month or so. I keep trying, I exercise and yet, I manage to eat my calories back, so here I am maintaining the weight that I am currently at. How would you handle and insult like that from a random stranger?
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IDK. Strangers tend to not talk *kitten* to me in real life to my face. Once I realize that I have down some reckless things in life that others would say you were by yourself for.
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I'm sorry that happened to you.
Generally speaking, I approach things with this in mind: What people think of me is none of my business.
That said, there are so many things someone could call me that would hurt me worse than "you're fat". Here's a good quote by JK Rowling:Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’?
When people comment on another persons appearance, it will always say more about them than it says about the person they are commenting on.0 -
Sounds like a two-fold issue here....You will probably get a lot of stock responses to your post (i.e. you won't always be fat, but she will always be a jerk, etc.). I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that this happened. I hate that people treat others so horribly.
You said that you have not lost any weight in the past month, despite exercising and eating your calories back. Can you tell us how much you are trying to lose (and your other stats) and what method you are using to log your food, determine your calorie intake/burn, etc.?0 -
I'd rather be fat than a cruel bully!
Don't let her derail you, she is a nobody. You can lose the weight but she will always be a cruel bully.0 -
It's probably a good idea to wear a shirt...because of skin cancer! I used to run at night so I could wear a sports bra without the risk!
But she's a jerk.0 -
People who look to throw insults are looking for one thing................a response. It may be the only thing they control in their own lives. Giving them a response gives them exactly what they want. Ignoring them bothers them more than one might believe.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I would have said something back too, police would have been called eventually. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Don't feel bad about it.0
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Why let her have any control over you, especially since you will most likely never see her again. She is a judgmental B****.
Quit renting her space in your brain. Get back to what you need to do for you. Get to moving more and controlling your portions.0 -
I'd like to say I would have come up with some smartass comeback, like, "And you need to wear a gag". But, quite frankly, I probably would have just given her the finger and kept on walking. Try not to let people like that get in your head. They're just ugly and pathetic.0
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You are brave! I am a reasonably lean 140, and I will not go shirtless unless at the beach....which is only one week out of the year!! LOL!! My 2 babies made my belly skin a bit too wiggly for me to feel comfortable in just a sports bra. But that's me. People who yell random comments at strangers are, well, cowards. They lack the courage to come and tell you to your face, so they just yell as they roll by. Ugh. Mean people suck.0
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Just don't give up. Maintenance is hell of a lot better than gaining, so don't diminish your hard work. You know what to do - you have done it and you can get back on track again.0
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The opinion of random people off the street is worth exactly what you paid for it: nothing.0
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Growing up in the New York area, my response would have been a common slang term meaning to have intercourse with oneself.0
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I would love to be 170!
But seriously- you cannot let her comment continue to torment you. All I can say is push that aside and use the anger/hurt feelings to re-focus in on your goal. A few quotes you may want to write out and keep on a mirror or someplace you can read before/after you run (however you choose to cover yourself): "I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. They have shown me exactly who I do not want to be." And a personal favorite: "Negative people need drama like it was oxygen... Stay positive and take their breath away." Hang in there and keep at it- you CAN make her eat her words someday! 
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Oh man! I'm really sorry that happened. She had a lot of nerve.0
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People who look to throw insults are looking for one thing................a response. It may be the only thing they control in their own lives. Giving them a response gives them exactly what they want. Ignoring them bothers them more than one might believe.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
This ^^ I'd probably just smile and wave as if they just said something nice.0 -
Fat shaming is a real problem. I've had similar experiences. Im sorry you had that happen. Ppl dont realize how hurtful it is and how unhelpful it is!0
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I would have flipped her the bird and told her to go eff herself. No one can make you feel bad about yourself. They can be a poor excuse for a person but you have to allow them to hurt you. And honestly why would you care what a poor excuse for a person says anyway. Obviously we are all here for our health but beauty doesn't come in a size or a shape it's what you are. Find a way to be strong and confident regardless of the number on the scale or the shape in the mirror and go outside in whatever clothing that you wish.0
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She got a response out of me, my husband who is a police officer pulled me away by my arm. I couldn't help but feel ashamed and hurt. My husband told me to let it go, that their opinion of me didn't matter. I do have a belly on me, I've had 4 kids, but it's not awful. I tend to look a little pregnant hence the reason why I am on this site. Thank you all for your kind responses. I'm trying to lose 20 more pounds as I have already lost 30 pounds. I don't know why I let her affect me the way she did.0
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Since they pulled into the parking lot that we was walking through, I did approach her vehicle, she told me I was fat, I told her she needed new teeth, that was ugly of me. I should have told her she needed a bag over her head but I didn't. Getting down on her level doesn't make me a good person.0
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I will seriously never stop being shocked by things like this.
Look, I'm not the nicest person in the world. I'm quite blunt and don't have a great filter and sometimes when I'm mad I do say stuff to hurt a person's feelings. But never on my absolute bottom-of-the-barrel worst day ever would I say something *to a stranger* *about their physical appearance*.
A person who acts like that must exist in a really poisonous mental and emotional place. OP, imagine how horrible you would have to feel before you would say something awful like that to someone. Now realize that the woman who said to you feels like that all of the time.
This also ties back to socio--political-religious issues where females are seen as property and therefore anyone has the right to comment on your appearance since you are not a fully autonomous being.
I WISH I had the confidence to show my jelly belly off the world, I really really do. We're about the same as far as our weight loss goals and where we're at but you are light years ahead of me when it comes to confidence, and I really respect you for that!!
Since I'm super mean, I would probably have gone with, "Nobody likes you at all, do they?" as a reply. It's super mean because it's true.0 -
I haven't had this happen, but I would blow kisses and wink.
Nothing upsets angry people more than absurd happiness.
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I think you're pretty.0
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I wouldn't acknowledge any person who said this to me. You never know - that may be the wacko that has a gun and is willing to use it if confronted. Just walk away.0
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Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?-1 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
Oh please. Mothers can whip out their tits in public to feed their babies but she can't rock her sports bra Brandi Chastain style so as not to die of heart stroke? People are funny.0 -
gothicfires wrote: »I would have flipped her the bird and told her to go eff herself.
+1azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
So because she didn't wear a shirt, she was asking to be insulted by a random stranger?
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It sounds like it was really hot outside and you were dressed in a sports bra to deal with it. I don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe she was 'jealous' of you, not really commenting on your weight. Maybe you looked 'cute' in your bra. Totally silly that people are so concerned with what you're wearing.0
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
People have no sense of decency anymore. Why, just yesterday I was at the soda fountain and I saw a gentleman there who did not remove his hat!0 -
Wait...did she say you were fat or just that you needed to wear a shirt?0
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