You are fat says the woman driving down the street.

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SillyCat1975
SillyCat1975 Posts: 328 Member
in Motivation and Support
Me and my husband was walking down the street, it was hot as hades outside, I mean really hot, I wear a sports bra, I don't want to die of a heatstroke, I mean it's 85 degrees outside, I weigh 170 pounds, I know probably not sports bra appropriate ( because I'm heavy). So she comes up beside up in a gas station and yells out her window, "you need to wear a shirt' then they proceed to pull in, I should have held my tongue, I really should have. But, I couldn't, I said some pretty mean things to this random stranger as she sat there insulting me and my weight. That comment made me feel super awful about myself. I've lost focus of my weight loss goals,vI planned on 5 pounds by the end of July, I've not lost any weight in a month or so. I keep trying, I exercise and yet, I manage to eat my calories back, so here I am maintaining the weight that I am currently at. How would you handle and insult like that from a random stranger?
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Replies

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    IDK. Strangers tend to not talk *kitten* to me in real life to my face. Once I realize that I have down some reckless things in life that others would say you were by yourself for.

  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    edited June 2015
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    I'm sorry that happened to you.

    Generally speaking, I approach things with this in mind: What people think of me is none of my business.

    That said, there are so many things someone could call me that would hurt me worse than "you're fat". Here's a good quote by JK Rowling:
    Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’?

    When people comment on another persons appearance, it will always say more about them than it says about the person they are commenting on.
  • LeanButNotMean44
    LeanButNotMean44 Posts: 852 Member
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    Sounds like a two-fold issue here....You will probably get a lot of stock responses to your post (i.e. you won't always be fat, but she will always be a jerk, etc.). I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that this happened. I hate that people treat others so horribly.

    You said that you have not lost any weight in the past month, despite exercising and eating your calories back. Can you tell us how much you are trying to lose (and your other stats) and what method you are using to log your food, determine your calorie intake/burn, etc.?
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
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    I'd rather be fat than a cruel bully!

    Don't let her derail you, she is a nobody. You can lose the weight but she will always be a cruel bully.
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
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    It's probably a good idea to wear a shirt...because of skin cancer! I used to run at night so I could wear a sports bra without the risk!

    But she's a jerk.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,529 Member
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    People who look to throw insults are looking for one thing................a response. It may be the only thing they control in their own lives. Giving them a response gives them exactly what they want. Ignoring them bothers them more than one might believe.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • MsJulesRenee
    MsJulesRenee Posts: 1,180 Member
    edited June 2015
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    I would have said something back too, police would have been called eventually. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Don't feel bad about it.
  • retirehappy
    retirehappy Posts: 4,752 Member
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    Why let her have any control over you, especially since you will most likely never see her again. She is a judgmental B****.

    Quit renting her space in your brain. Get back to what you need to do for you. Get to moving more and controlling your portions.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    I'd like to say I would have come up with some smartass comeback, like, "And you need to wear a gag". But, quite frankly, I probably would have just given her the finger and kept on walking. Try not to let people like that get in your head. They're just ugly and pathetic.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    You are brave! I am a reasonably lean 140, and I will not go shirtless unless at the beach....which is only one week out of the year!! LOL!! My 2 babies made my belly skin a bit too wiggly for me to feel comfortable in just a sports bra. But that's me. People who yell random comments at strangers are, well, cowards. They lack the courage to come and tell you to your face, so they just yell as they roll by. Ugh. Mean people suck.
  • sophomorelove
    sophomorelove Posts: 193 Member
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    Just don't give up. Maintenance is hell of a lot better than gaining, so don't diminish your hard work. You know what to do - you have done it and you can get back on track again.
  • allbarrett
    allbarrett Posts: 159 Member
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    The opinion of random people off the street is worth exactly what you paid for it: nothing.
  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 909 Member
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    Growing up in the New York area, my response would have been a common slang term meaning to have intercourse with oneself.
  • thecoker
    thecoker Posts: 34 Member
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    I would love to be 170! ;) But seriously- you cannot let her comment continue to torment you. All I can say is push that aside and use the anger/hurt feelings to re-focus in on your goal. A few quotes you may want to write out and keep on a mirror or someplace you can read before/after you run (however you choose to cover yourself): "I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. They have shown me exactly who I do not want to be." And a personal favorite: "Negative people need drama like it was oxygen... Stay positive and take their breath away." Hang in there and keep at it- you CAN make her eat her words someday! B)
  • Gska17
    Gska17 Posts: 752 Member
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    Oh man! I'm really sorry that happened. She had a lot of nerve.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    People who look to throw insults are looking for one thing................a response. It may be the only thing they control in their own lives. Giving them a response gives them exactly what they want. Ignoring them bothers them more than one might believe.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    This ^^ I'd probably just smile and wave as if they just said something nice.
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
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    Fat shaming is a real problem. I've had similar experiences. Im sorry you had that happen. Ppl dont realize how hurtful it is and how unhelpful it is!
  • gothicfires
    gothicfires Posts: 240 Member
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    I would have flipped her the bird and told her to go eff herself. No one can make you feel bad about yourself. They can be a poor excuse for a person but you have to allow them to hurt you. And honestly why would you care what a poor excuse for a person says anyway. Obviously we are all here for our health but beauty doesn't come in a size or a shape it's what you are. Find a way to be strong and confident regardless of the number on the scale or the shape in the mirror and go outside in whatever clothing that you wish.
  • SillyCat1975
    SillyCat1975 Posts: 328 Member
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    She got a response out of me, my husband who is a police officer pulled me away by my arm. I couldn't help but feel ashamed and hurt. My husband told me to let it go, that their opinion of me didn't matter. I do have a belly on me, I've had 4 kids, but it's not awful. I tend to look a little pregnant hence the reason why I am on this site. Thank you all for your kind responses. I'm trying to lose 20 more pounds as I have already lost 30 pounds. I don't know why I let her affect me the way she did.
  • SillyCat1975
    SillyCat1975 Posts: 328 Member
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    Since they pulled into the parking lot that we was walking through, I did approach her vehicle, she told me I was fat, I told her she needed new teeth, that was ugly of me. I should have told her she needed a bag over her head but I didn't. Getting down on her level doesn't make me a good person.

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