Those who have lost lots: how do you learn to accept the sagging and wrinkling?
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I just... I have to even if it gets me jail time."azulvioleta6 wrote: »
I've lost more than 90 pounds. I don't have any wrinkles and my only excess skin is around my belly. My breasts are the same size and not at all saggy. I really do think that weight lifting has helped. It's interesting that the people who claim that lifting makes no difference are also people who do little-to-no exercise.
At one point I thought my boobs were going to survive too. However, this dramatically changed the closer I got to goal. Literally overnight for me - bras became empty. I have lifted all throughout. I kick box, I walk. I have visible abs with loose skin.
Boobs are not a muscle (underlying). Mostly fat. Where fat is lost from, what happens to your skin is largely genetic and the sum of your history (pregnancy, prior obesity/weight loss history, ageing). Weightlifting and time will only mitigate so much. The rest you have to accept.
Breasts are not "mostly fat". If they were "mostly fat", women with very large breasts wouldn't continue to have them after losing a significant amount of weight.
There are actually tissue and glands in them. Some women have very little breast tissue and some have a lot of it. That ratio is why some women lose their boobs and some keep their boobs during weight loss.
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I just... I have to even if it gets me jail time."azulvioleta6 wrote: »
I've lost more than 90 pounds. I don't have any wrinkles and my only excess skin is around my belly. My breasts are the same size and not at all saggy. I really do think that weight lifting has helped. It's interesting that the people who claim that lifting makes no difference are also people who do little-to-no exercise.
At one point I thought my boobs were going to survive too. However, this dramatically changed the closer I got to goal. Literally overnight for me - bras became empty. I have lifted all throughout. I kick box, I walk. I have visible abs with loose skin.
Boobs are not a muscle (underlying). Mostly fat. Where fat is lost from, what happens to your skin is largely genetic and the sum of your history (pregnancy, prior obesity/weight loss history, ageing). Weightlifting and time will only mitigate so much. The rest you have to accept.
Breasts are not "mostly fat". If they were "mostly fat", women with very large breasts wouldn't continue to have them after losing a significant amount of weight.
There are actually tissue and glands in them. Some women have very little breast tissue and some have a lot of it. That ratio is why some women lose their boobs and some keep their boobs during weight loss.
Lol why would you get jail for that? Actually yeah. I hesitated over my use of that word. Stand corrected.
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I just... I have to even if it gets me jail time."azulvioleta6 wrote: »
I've lost more than 90 pounds. I don't have any wrinkles and my only excess skin is around my belly. My breasts are the same size and not at all saggy. I really do think that weight lifting has helped. It's interesting that the people who claim that lifting makes no difference are also people who do little-to-no exercise.
At one point I thought my boobs were going to survive too. However, this dramatically changed the closer I got to goal. Literally overnight for me - bras became empty. I have lifted all throughout. I kick box, I walk. I have visible abs with loose skin.
Boobs are not a muscle (underlying). Mostly fat. Where fat is lost from, what happens to your skin is largely genetic and the sum of your history (pregnancy, prior obesity/weight loss history, ageing). Weightlifting and time will only mitigate so much. The rest you have to accept.
Breasts are not "mostly fat". If they were "mostly fat", women with very large breasts wouldn't continue to have them after losing a significant amount of weight.
There are actually tissue and glands in them. Some women have very little breast tissue and some have a lot of it. That ratio is why some women lose their boobs and some keep their boobs during weight loss.
Lol why would you get jail for that? Actually yeah. I hesitated over my use of that word. Stand corrected.
For posting a pic I guess? I think it was pretty informative, personally!0 -
Double0
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Obies
I just... I have to even if it gets me jail time."azulvioleta6 wrote: »
I've lost more than 90 pounds. I don't have any wrinkles and my only excess skin is around my belly. My breasts are the same size and not at all saggy. I really do think that weight lifting has helped. It's interesting that the people who claim that lifting makes no difference are also people who do little-to-no exercise.
At one point I thought my boobs were going to survive too. However, this dramatically changed the closer I got to goal. Literally overnight for me - bras became empty. I have lifted all throughout. I kick box, I walk. I have visible abs with loose skin.
Boobs are not a muscle (underlying). Mostly fat. Where fat is lost from, what happens to your skin is largely genetic and the sum of your history (pregnancy, prior obesity/weight loss history, ageing). Weightlifting and time will only mitigate so much. The rest you have to accept.
Breasts are not "mostly fat". If they were "mostly fat", women with very large breasts wouldn't continue to have them after losing a significant amount of weight.
There are actually tissue and glands in them. Some women have very little breast tissue and some have a lot of it. That ratio is why some women lose their boobs and some keep their boobs during weight loss.
Lol why would you get jail for that? Actually yeah. I hesitated over my use of that word. Stand corrected.
For posting a pic I guess? I think it was pretty informative, personally!
Let's hope logic prevails!0 -
I still have a long way to go, I know I'm going to have lose skin. If I stand up straight skin looks ok, but if I bend over it looks disgusting. Skin and fat hanging. It sucks knowing I'm doing all this hard work, and I'm still going to look disgusting naked.
However, with a shirt on you won't be able to tell loose skin other than maybe arms. And since I wasn't going shirtless at 350 anyways it is no difference. But I am wearing shorts now when I haven't in 10 years0 -
I just... I have to even if it gets me jail time."azulvioleta6 wrote: »
I've lost more than 90 pounds. I don't have any wrinkles and my only excess skin is around my belly. My breasts are the same size and not at all saggy. I really do think that weight lifting has helped. It's interesting that the people who claim that lifting makes no difference are also people who do little-to-no exercise.
At one point I thought my boobs were going to survive too. However, this dramatically changed the closer I got to goal. Literally overnight for me - bras became empty. I have lifted all throughout. I kick box, I walk. I have visible abs with loose skin.
Boobs are not a muscle (underlying). Mostly fat. Where fat is lost from, what happens to your skin is largely genetic and the sum of your history (pregnancy, prior obesity/weight loss history, ageing). Weightlifting and time will only mitigate so much. The rest you have to accept.
Breasts are not "mostly fat". If they were "mostly fat", women with very large breasts wouldn't continue to have them after losing a significant amount of weight.
There are actually tissue and glands in them. Some women have very little breast tissue and some have a lot of it. That ratio is why some women lose their boobs and some keep their boobs during weight loss.
This is exactly why my plastic surgeon told me not to worry too much about weight loss post-breast reduction. I went from a 40H/I to a 38C five years ago, and basically because she had to fit all of the non-fat stuff into my new breasts, there's very little fat in there anymore.0 -
What your incorrect assumptions lead you to believe has little effect on anyone else's feelings.Seems to me you already had accepted your overweight/obese body, why is it harder for you to accept a healthier, skinnier and saggy body.
I just see it as more of a consequence of your actions, just got to accept it and move on.
Thanks for dropping by to kick people when they're down.
What are you talking about?
What assumption? What kicking when someone is down?
I'm confused.
Don't worry. I didn't take it as a kicking. It's true. I did this to myself. However I'm conscious of all the reasons for it - food was the best tool I had in my arsenal for making me feel better. And now it's not.
I love this
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nicola8989 wrote: »In terms of practicality - have you tried dry body brushing? I'm a big believer in it - it really cleared up my cellulite when I did it a lot a few years ago, trying to get back in the habit now but as you know it's hard to treat your body well when you don't like it much. It improves your circulation and it's meant to help with loose skin. Also moisturiser with cocoa butter in really helps with any stretch marks etc. Palmers is great.
You know how I go to the gym and take walks and weigh everything and put loads of effort in, making me look like I'm a go-getter? I'll let you in on a secret. I'm really, really lazy. Monumentally so. While I might bother to slap a bit of Astral on my face and neck most days, the thought of moisturising the expanse of my belly makes me want to take a nap. But you're right. I should. And brush. And maybe take a collagen supplement. And at least put some effort in. The daft thing is, while I'm too lazy to slather on some Palmer's, if someone told me there was an actual gym-based exercise that would fix it, I'd be right on it. Even though that would take considerably more effort.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »LaceyBirds wrote: »I also want to mention that excessive loose skin and severely sagging breasts is probably a much scarier issue for single women who are still in the market for a relationship. Even at my age, one of the thoughts in the back of my head is that, once I am thinner, perhaps I might find somebody. But looking at my body, and knowing it will get worse, I probably should banish those thoughts. It's kind of sad.
Exactly. A partner who has seen you at different sizes and been by your side as you have lost weight will be used to the changes. For anyone new, I can only imagine that a warning beforehand is going to be necessary. Once you reach a healthy weight, how you look with clothes on might (will) suggest that what's underneath looks vastly different to the reality. All that sagging, puckering, wrinkling, flapping, folding and so on could come as a hell of a shock.
I've never warned anybody "beforehand." I've never received any negative comments. In addition to weight loss, I also have ten different surgical scars on my abdomen. It's really quite bad.
Most men don't care as much as we think they do.
Self-consciousness can be a real mood and confidence killer, though, and it isn't always rational. (And sometimes it is rational, because it's rational to make comparisons. if your body is objectively different from the norm in ways that are commonly perceived as negative, it's hard not to make those attributions about your body.)
Nobody's cared about belly or legs or thighs that I've noticed - those are more issues I look at when I sometimes nitpick alone, but don't really interfere as far as inhibitions. Boobs, no one's overtly behaved in anything but a positive way. One guy, though - he was nice and everything, but he did admit to seeing what I was talking about (this was soon after I hit GW, and this was after a bit of wine - I don't think he'd have allowed himself to say that sober, super nice guy, and I wouldn't have talked about it otherwise.) Better to stay mum for sure - just calls attention to things they might not have noticed otherwise, and signals lack of confidence. (Which you might feel, but it's not great to show it imo).
But after that, it was hard not to think about it or to not let it affect how I felt (and behaved, a bit)."azulvioleta6 wrote: »
I've lost more than 90 pounds. I don't have any wrinkles and my only excess skin is around my belly. My breasts are the same size and not at all saggy. I really do think that weight lifting has helped. It's interesting that the people who claim that lifting makes no difference are also people who do little-to-no exercise.
At one point I thought my boobs were going to survive too. However, this dramatically changed the closer I got to goal. Literally overnight for me - bras became empty. I have lifted all throughout. I kick box, I walk. I have visible abs with loose skin.
Boobs are not a muscle (underlying). Mostly fat. Where fat is lost from, what happens to your skin is largely genetic and the sum of your history (pregnancy, prior obesity/weight loss history, ageing). Weightlifting and time will only mitigate so much. The rest you have to accept.
I think W/L for me has helped to compensate to a large degree - swap one physical dissatisfaction for another I can feel proud of - I'm strong. I think everyone that has lost a large amount of weight hits the same point as the OP at some stage but you get through it. You have to really because going back isn't going to make you happier.
I could be 250lbs+ and out of breath with no loose skin or be the best I am with what I've got and be a strong example of that grace and wisdom.
I try and look at my body as a story of my life. See this scar? This mole? This skin disorder? Loose skin? It's all a story.
Great attitude
I think it's a bit harder to feel ok about having a body story as a woman, though... Hard to shake the idea that men's stories signal the development of "character", growth, etc, while women's body-stories mean loss of youth, beauty, all of that. I don't want to feel this way. And I don't think this way in any other area of life. And it's easy for me to tell myself to think differently, but when it comes to just knee-jerk feelings, I don't know, they just come
Sometimes, I like to imagine that all of us are the pioneers of weight loss technology. We are the cusp of a world where obesity no longer exists (I have great imagination). There will be elders with loose skin that mark the end of an era and we will be revered lol.
Eta: I have two girls (and three boys)... I'm very conscious of being a good model of self/acceptance for them..maybe that helps too. I know my own mother and grandmother were that for me.
I love this
I think your kids are lucky 0 -
Okay, so my highest weight was 240 and I'm about 160 right now. I've kept the majority of that weight off for almost four years. When I first hit my goal in 2011, there was definitely some loose skin/sagging, and I felt really bad about it. But I kept lifting heavy and maintained my weight, and after about two years, everything just sort of tightened up? There's definitely still some loose skin in my upper arms and my inner thighs, but that's about it. It depends on your age and genetics, as far as I know. Honestly, I have compared pictures of the first time I got to my goal weight (157) vs now (161ish) and I look much tighter and smaller now. My butt flattened out like a pancake that first time I hit goal. It took time and some heavy weights to get it to where it is now. I don't know, I'd rather have slightly saggy skin than be obese. Your results might vary0
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Not sure if it's genetics or what, but while I do have some sagging skin, I don't have a lot of wrinkles. I am not done with my weight loss so I'm currently adding in some weight lifting to my workout in the hopes of replacing some of that with muscle. I know that won't completely eradicate loose skin but I'm okay with that. I liked myself before the weight loss I can't imagine that changing now.0
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Boobs have varying amounts of fat. Some women have a lot of fatty tissue. I have little. I can actually feel the ducts in my breast during TOM. (TMI alert!) My boobs don't get hardly any bigger when I get fatter because all my weight goes on my butt, thighs, and middle. I get more back fat than I do boob fat. I look a lot chestier skinny for that reason.
If you have a higher percent of fat in your boobs and put on more there, though, you'll lose more from there.0 -
Op - don't lose heart.....letting your skin catch up with the weight loss can make a lot of difference to the end look of your skin. I have seen other threads mentioning giving it at least 2 years at goal before you see the final outcome of how your skin will look - so patience is required. Another bonus is we never run out of Collagen.....the amount does diminish but never ceases to work.
Sadly, though, it comes down to genetics, the rate at which you lost the weight and just sheer good luck. Good moisturizing, adequate hydration, maintaining a good strength training progamme along with extras such as dry brushing, massage may all help your situation.
This is where the slower the weight loss the better for allowing skin to has the chance to bounce back as much as it can - if you had kiddlies though there is the chance that you have sustained damage to the underlying muscle/skin attachments and that can be especially evident when doing planks, no matter how much you work on the tummy area that muscle detachment really needs medical help.
I have lost 160 lbs and been maintaining that loss for nearly 3 years and it is inspiring that you have found so much benefit and enjoyment from your strength training - I love your positive attitude towards your new, swift body.
Congratulations on your hard work and best wishes for your continued success.0 -
MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Boobs have varying amounts of fat. Some women have a lot of fatty tissue. I have little. I can actually feel the ducts in my breast during TOM. (TMI alert!) My boobs don't get hardly any bigger when I get fatter because all my weight goes on my butt, thighs, and middle. I get more back fat than I do boob fat. I look a lot chestier skinny for that reason.
If you have a higher percent of fat in your boobs and put on more there, though, you'll lose more from there.
Ha I'm glad you said that. I was going to clarify but I got thread fatigue
ETA: I will clarify though that whether or not you exercised during weight loss does not change what happens to the boobage because it's not muscular (underlying only) and was my main point in regards to azures comment. A little lift at the back - yes. The front end? Nah. Depends on fat and tissue and blah blah distribution.
Exhausted now lol0 -
You don't know what you're going to end up with yet ..as it can take up to 2 years to recover as much as it's going to
But in the long term you could have cosmetic surgery
I do know what you mean ...but patience and then decisions
Does anybody know: can they do a boob lift without implants? I may need a reduction too but right now they are kind of flat and saggy with nips that look like Marty Feldman eyes (looking in two completely different directions).
I've heard some doctors can do a lift by removing fat from other parts of the body and injecting it into the breasts instead of using implants, but only a few doctors can do it and it's a lot more expensive.
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Congratulations on your weight loss, @Pootler74! Job well done!
I've been fat to obese with fluctuating weight my entire life! I lost 75 pounds about ten years ago, gained 30 some odd back over a five year period, then went on a quest to lose that weight and maintain for the rest of my life. I actually lost 44 pounds, am at the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult (the same weight I was at 11, by the way), and I have been maintaining for about a year and a half. I'm 53.
I run, but I also incorporated weight lifting three times a week into my exercise routine, and have been heavy weight lifting for about two years.
I have less sag and loose skin than I thought I would, having been very overweight my entire life. I have some loose skin in my tummy area, still have some wings, and my butt could use a little lift. However, I will tell you that I have less loose skin today than I did even a year ago. It's not perfect, but I can see the tummy muscle more and my wings not flying as much as they were. While I know I will never have this tight little body, I am happy with all the progress I've made.
Oh, and the boobs. Yep, those sag too, but guess what? I went from a 38 DD to a 34/36 C, so I'm happy there. I actually am not overwhelmed by too much boob now!
Keep doing what you're doing and be patient and enjoy the process of being the beautiful person you are!0 -
I just... I have to even if it gets me jail time."azulvioleta6 wrote: »
I've lost more than 90 pounds. I don't have any wrinkles and my only excess skin is around my belly. My breasts are the same size and not at all saggy. I really do think that weight lifting has helped. It's interesting that the people who claim that lifting makes no difference are also people who do little-to-no exercise.
At one point I thought my boobs were going to survive too. However, this dramatically changed the closer I got to goal. Literally overnight for me - bras became empty. I have lifted all throughout. I kick box, I walk. I have visible abs with loose skin.
Boobs are not a muscle (underlying). Mostly fat. Where fat is lost from, what happens to your skin is largely genetic and the sum of your history (pregnancy, prior obesity/weight loss history, ageing). Weightlifting and time will only mitigate so much. The rest you have to accept.
Breasts are not "mostly fat". If they were "mostly fat", women with very large breasts wouldn't continue to have them after losing a significant amount of weight.
There are actually tissue and glands in them. Some women have very little breast tissue and some have a lot of it. That ratio is why some women lose their boobs and some keep their boobs during weight loss.
Jail? I doubt it.
Boobs are mostly fat, for sure. It would be great if they were muscle.
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MamaBirdBoss wrote: »Boobs have varying amounts of fat. Some women have a lot of fatty tissue. I have little. I can actually feel the ducts in my breast during TOM. (TMI alert!) My boobs don't get hardly any bigger when I get fatter because all my weight goes on my butt, thighs, and middle. I get more back fat than I do boob fat. I look a lot chestier skinny for that reason.
If you have a higher percent of fat in your boobs and put on more there, though, you'll lose more from there.
I was well endowed my entire life, so it surprised me when I lost a lot of weight from my boobs by the time I hit maintenance. It all seemed to come off at the end, though.
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My boobs, they used to be magnificent E cups. Gawd, I loved them. Now they are empty, sagging, wrinkled little bags that I thought I would not get until I was geriatric.
....Has anyone else got to this point and learned to love themselves naked, accept the battle scars and feel comfortable in their new skin?
(1) go buy really good, well fitting bras. From companies like Panache. Spend $80 on it. Have it fitted by a true expert. You will never care again about what they look like not in a bra, because they will look ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS in one. Better than they did before.
(2) Building muscle in your back and shoulders and rear will help tighten up the tummy. It probably will never be perfect without surgery, but it'll get better, I promise. I lost 100 lbs. and still couldn't wear shorts because I had skin flaps that sagged over my knees. MY KNEES.
Saggy skin is way better than being obese. Every day of the week. We're always critical of our "flaws." I'm proud of you. Be proud of you. Go ride a bike. Go hiking. Love every minute of the things you can do now that you couldn't do before. Cross your legs. Walk without hearing your calves brush against each other.
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I'm OK with my baggy baps and saggy stretch marked stomach. I only look like this through my own actions. It's me and who I am. I don't even dye my starting to grey hair so the bits I can cover are totally cool with me.
I do understand how it can be upsetting and I think reconstructive surgery should be a little less expensive. Sure there's a psychological need for it but I think that also should be addressed when someone chooses to make themselves obese and cause health problems to themselves.
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Me tooelcollins24 wrote: »I have excess skin on my stomache which i hate. I almost think its worse than what the fat looked like at times! Of course its not...but i wish i didnt have the excess skin all the same!!
I have begun to accept it more with time. Instead of being ashamed of how i look, i should be proud of my achievements. Easier said than done!
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