You are fat says the woman driving down the street.
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Girl, I don't know you, but I'm proud of you. You're out there in the blistering heat, working on getting your body back and you just encountered some negativity that meant to derail you. Don't let it. You are beautiful and you looking great even so far. Me and you both went through the same thing today kinda lol. This homeless-looking couple were walking by me outside, talking to themselves about my "booty shorts" and how they wouldn't wear them and just judging me, talking ish etc. The nylon shorts were loose and came way to my mid-thigh; even I had Under Armour shorts on under those for modesty. But, the guy kept looking back at me and they didn't think I heard them quite loudly. So I coolly looked at them and said, "you do know it's 103 degrees out here right?" and "by the way these are called running shorts... can't help that I'm blessed back there. I don't care what you think." Then the guy goes, "Yeah, it is hot out here..." LOL...I got in my air conditioned VEHICLE and drove the hell away, meanwhile they just kept pushing their baby stroller with a broken wheel down the street.0
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
Why isn't it appropriate? Boobs are covered so....explain please.0 -
Hope I'm not derailing here, but OP - you've made some awesome, very visible progress! Go you!
I am a little confused though. I've always considered the type of bra OP was wearing to be similar to a tank top. Not indecent at all, especially if one is actually exercising in it. Now, the sort of sports bras that look more like actual bras (underwire showing, cleavage galore, etc...) - I can see people being upset about those a bit.
I'm a bit prudish in some ways too, so I'm just surprised this is a thing, I guess.0 -
I mean, yeah, it's not nice to yell at someone regardless of what you're yelling - it's just... rude. Loud and rude. Mind, I'm a soft-spoken Canadian, so maybe that's just me.
But if she were yelling just about putting a shirt on, I get that. I don't like seeing any kind of chick walking around in a bra-only set up even in the middle of summer (35C here, 95F in freedom units) either. I won't say anything, but it does make me uncomfortable. You can wear a light-weight tank top over top your bra and that's much better in my mind.
Men are also a sore-spot (namely because it would be great if women could walk around topless without being arrested or jumped), but I find it easier to accept as it's not as immediately inappropriate.
If you're out for a run or something and wearing only a sports bra, I get that - that's somehow "appropriate" in my mind. But if it's just out for a walk to the store? No, please dress appropriately. Especially if going into a store. I do not want to shop for produce while standing next to a woman in only a bra. I wash my food, but still. Just... it doesn't feel quite right.
If she yelled that you're fat, though, that hurts. It's true, and it'll hurt. Hell, it'll hurt even when you're not fat anymore, ha ha! But some people will always yell at you no matter what you do. Smile, nod, say "thanks!" brightly and enjoy your day. You're good, you're fine - keep on keepin' on.
Hopefully, when you're all fit and rockin' them abs, you'll waltz past her in your sports bra (maybe while on a run, who knows?) and you can wave brightly to her and say "how do you like my top?".
...Then run like the dickens.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
This is a joke right. Blaming the victim. You do that too?
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I mean, yeah, it's not nice to yell at someone regardless of what you're yelling - it's just... rude. Loud and rude. Mind, I'm a soft-spoken Canadian, so maybe that's just me.
But if she were yelling just about putting a shirt on, I get that. I don't like seeing any kind of chick walking around in a bra-only set up even in the middle of summer (35C here, 95F in freedom units) either. I won't say anything, but it does make me uncomfortable. You can wear a light-weight tank top over top your bra and that's much better in my mind.
Men are also a sore-spot (namely because it would be great if women could walk around topless without being arrested or jumped), but I find it easier to accept as it's not as immediately inappropriate.
If you're out for a run or something and wearing only a sports bra, I get that - that's somehow "appropriate" in my mind. But if it's just out for a walk to the store? No, please dress appropriately. Especially if going into a store. I do not want to shop for produce while standing next to a woman in only a bra. I wash my food, but still. Just... it doesn't feel quite right.
If she yelled that you're fat, though, that hurts. It's true, and it'll hurt. Hell, it'll hurt even when you're not fat anymore, ha ha! But some people will always yell at you no matter what you do. Smile, nod, say "thanks!" brightly and enjoy your day. You're good, you're fine - keep on keepin' on.
Hopefully, when you're all fit and rockin' them abs, you'll waltz past her in your sports bra (maybe while on a run, who knows?) and you can wave brightly to her and say "how do you like my top?".
...Then run like the dickens.
I wasn't going into the convenient store, just cutting through the parking lot, I normally run in this top, so yeah, it get so hot, even walking in this top is hot, if it's 75-80 degrees, then I shirt myself. So there was no shopping, just her yelling at me. I would never wear that into a store, that is for exercise purposes only. It wasn't just a bra, it's something I see many people working out in or walking around. I'm about comfort, I get support from the neighbors as I do run around the neighborhood, they see me daily and comment on my progress, offer me water, and just stop in the road to give me words of encouragement, which I am thankful for someone seeing my hard work pay off.
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SillyCat1975 wrote: »I wasn't going into the convenient store, just cutting through the parking lot, I normally run in this top, so yeah, it get so hot, even walking in this top is hot, if it's 75-80 degrees, then I shirt myself. So there was no shopping, just her yelling at me. I would never wear that into a store, that is for exercise purposes only. It wasn't just a bra, it's something I see many people working out in or walking around. I'm about comfort, I get support from the neighbors as I do run around the neighborhood, they see me daily and comment on my progress, offer me water, and just stop in the road to give me words of encouragement, which I am thankful for someone seeing my hard work pay off.
I hear ya - I was just explaining my own feelings re:"shirtless" women out in public. I'm a young woman myself and while it should usually mean that I'm okay with us being out and about in sports bras, I'm not. To each her own.
Though now I'm confused - you were wearing a shirt and she still said to put a shirt on? From what I can tell in your original post you said you weren't wearing a shirt - just a sports bra?
Did this woman actually yell at you that you were fat, or is that what you're interpreting from her words?
Either way, I am not trying to get you to feel guilty or worthless. I just want to help you look at this in an objective manner and see that either this lady was just more prudish (and rude) than you, or that she is insecure enough in her own right to feel the need to comment on your body.
I'm glad your neighbors support you - I just want to make sure you're not going to let one nasty lady ruin your groove. I wish my neighbors supported me like yours do you, except when I run in the mornings they're usually all still asleep, ha ha! The seniors at the gym who call me "little miss muscles" is quite a compliment, though. It is awesome when others recognize your hard work.
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
uh oh. lol!
I'm sorry this happened to you.
I live in S. Florida, Just yesterday I saw a young lady who was extremely overweight (obese), wearing a Handkershif (sp) shirt. The ones where only your boobs are covered and her whole back is out, and some stomach; no bra strap in sight... she was getting on the public bus. I thought to myself "Oh My, what confidence" (sp). Some people are just not as hung up on showing skin as others. "Live and let live".
I'm very conservative in the way I dress. I like to look sexy without showing alot of skin.
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I mean, yeah, it's not nice to yell at someone regardless of what you're yelling - it's just... rude. Loud and rude. Mind, I'm a soft-spoken Canadian, so maybe that's just me.
But if she were yelling just about putting a shirt on, I get that. I don't like seeing any kind of chick walking around in a bra-only set up even in the middle of summer (35C here, 95F in freedom units) either. I won't say anything, but it does make me uncomfortable. You can wear a light-weight tank top over top your bra and that's much better in my mind.
Men are also a sore-spot (namely because it would be great if women could walk around topless without being arrested or jumped), but I find it easier to accept as it's not as immediately inappropriate.
If you're out for a run or something and wearing only a sports bra, I get that - that's somehow "appropriate" in my mind. But if it's just out for a walk to the store? No, please dress appropriately. Especially if going into a store. I do not want to shop for produce while standing next to a woman in only a bra. I wash my food, but still. Just... it doesn't feel quite right.
Honestly that is so messed up. You seriously think that lady tummies have cooties that will jump onto your food and make it toxic?0 -
Honestly that is so messed up. You seriously think that lady tummies have cooties that will jump onto your food and make it toxic?
Oh no, not at all. But I don't know where some ladies' tummies have been in my area - I'd rather not risk it with the population that's around here. I'd have the same concerns over a man topless and hovering over things I'mma put in my mouth.
Again, to each their own. If you want someone lying on your food, that's your wont. I prefer a bit more of an unadulterated taste myself.0 -
Honestly that is so messed up. You seriously think that lady tummies have cooties that will jump onto your food and make it toxic?
Oh no, not at all. But I don't know where some ladies' tummies have been in my area - I'd rather not risk it with the population that's around here. I'd have the same concerns over a man topless and hovering over things I'mma put in my mouth.
Again, to each their own. If you want someone lying on your food, that's your wont. I prefer a bit more of an unadulterated taste myself.
So there are what, bugs and things that go on tummies but avoid arms, legs, hands, necks, faces and hair? Which are those?0 -
So there are what, bugs and things that go on tummies but avoid arms, legs, hands, necks, faces and hair? Which are those?
That doesn't quite make sense to me - try again?
I'll go with a response to what I think you're writing, though. I get that other things touch the food - I just don't need to see a shirtless person next to me in the store. There is nothing wrong with it, I just have my preferences much like I'm sure you do in some things.
It's like this - in the gym, I don't give two *kitten* about what the girls around me are wearing. You could waltz around in booty shorts and a bikini top, I don't care as long as you're lifting heavy (if not, I'm judging hard, but I won't say anything). But someone else might. Does this make them "wrong"? No, it makes them different from me. Are they "wrong"? No, they're just different.
Preferences exist. Does this offend you?0 -
Eh some people suck. Either grow a thicker skin or get a tank top.0
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Well, you can hideout and feel sorry or you can take it as a challenge. Say, I'll show them! When I am done, I'll be fitter and better looking than they are! If anything, mean comments give me more drive to succeed. So get back on track and show them what you're made of.0
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SillyCat1975 wrote: »I wasn't going into the convenient store, just cutting through the parking lot, I normally run in this top, so yeah, it get so hot, even walking in this top is hot, if it's 75-80 degrees, then I shirt myself. So there was no shopping, just her yelling at me. I would never wear that into a store, that is for exercise purposes only. It wasn't just a bra, it's something I see many people working out in or walking around. I'm about comfort, I get support from the neighbors as I do run around the neighborhood, they see me daily and comment on my progress, offer me water, and just stop in the road to give me words of encouragement, which I am thankful for someone seeing my hard work pay off.
I hear ya - I was just explaining my own feelings re:"shirtless" women out in public. I'm a young woman myself and while it should usually mean that I'm okay with us being out and about in sports bras, I'm not. To each her own.
Though now I'm confused - you were wearing a shirt and she still said to put a shirt on? From what I can tell in your original post you said you weren't wearing a shirt - just a sports bra?
Did this woman actually yell at you that you were fat, or is that what you're interpreting from her words?
Either way, I am not trying to get you to feel guilty or worthless. I just want to help you look at this in an objective manner and see that either this lady was just more prudish (and rude) than you, or that she is insecure enough in her own right to feel the need to comment on your body.
I'm glad your neighbors support you - I just want to make sure you're not going to let one nasty lady ruin your groove. I wish my neighbors supported me like yours do you, except when I run in the mornings they're usually all still asleep, ha ha! The seniors at the gym who call me "little miss muscles" is quite a compliment, though. It is awesome when others recognize your hard work.
I was out without a shirt, when it's not a thousand degrees (lol) here, then I wear a shirt. Of course it is a hot summer so I can't see wearing a shirt as I am anticipating my stomach to continue to decrease (hopefully) She said the something like "That's nasty you need to put a shirt on" and well since the only thing showing other than my stomach, I can only assume that she was talking about my stomach. I don't know what else she could be talking about as it's not as small as I would like it to be. I appreciate your opinion on the matter, I know we all have them, I just wish this woman would have kept her mouth quiet, it was quite hurtful and while I portray the attitude and I truly thought I didn't care what people thought of me, in reality I guess I do.
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So there are what, bugs and things that go on tummies but avoid arms, legs, hands, necks, faces and hair? Which are those?
That doesn't quite make sense to me - try again?
I'll go with a response to what I think you're writing, though. I get that other things touch the food - I just don't need to see a shirtless person next to me in the store. There is nothing wrong with it, I just have my preferences much like I'm sure you do in some things.
It's like this - in the gym, I don't give two *kitten* about what the girls around me are wearing. You could waltz around in booty shorts and a bikini top, I don't care as long as you're lifting heavy (if not, I'm judging hard, but I won't say anything). But someone else might. Does this make them "wrong"? No, it makes them different from me. Are they "wrong"? No, they're just different.
Preferences exist. Does this offend you?
You saying you're nervous about something jumping off of women's stomachs onto the food at the grocery store was pretty offensive to me. My stomach is quite clean.
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460mustang wrote: »Well, you can hideout and feel sorry or you can take it as a challenge. Say, I'll show them! When I am done, I'll be fitter and better looking than they are! If anything, mean comments give me more drive to succeed. So get back on track and show them what you're made of.
Not going to feeling sorry, I've walked/ran 20 miles in the last 2 days, I am determined to make it to my goal weight which is 150.
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Honestly that is so messed up. You seriously think that lady tummies have cooties that will jump onto your food and make it toxic?
Oh no, not at all. But I don't know where some ladies' tummies have been in my area - I'd rather not risk it with the population that's around here. I'd have the same concerns over a man topless and hovering over things I'mma put in my mouth.
Again, to each their own. If you want someone lying on your food, that's your wont. I prefer a bit more of an unadulterated taste myself.
You moved the goal post. First you comment
What does the quote I copy have to do with people lying in your food?I do not want to shop for produce while standing next to a woman in only a bra. I wash my food, but still. Just... it doesn't feel quite right.
Also the quote I copy is hilarious. Its funny because it makes no sense either.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
uh oh. lol!
I'm sorry this happened to you.
I live in S. Florida, Just yesterday I saw a young lady who was extremely overweight (obese), wearing a Handkershif (sp) shirt. The ones where only your boobs are covered and her whole back is out, and some stomach; no bra strap in sight... she was getting on the public bus. I thought to myself "Oh My, what confidence" (sp). Some people are just not as hung up on showing skin as others. "Live and let live".
I'm very conservative in the way I dress. I like to look sexy without showing alot of skin.
Yup. I'm from Florida and see a wide variety. I don't get the body-shaming--it's hot out, and it's okay to dress for the weather no matter what your size. The only thing I judge are the people in obviously wet swimsuits wearing them all day. That's just gross.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
I'm sorry, this is quite possibly one of the most poorly-constructed arguments I've ever heard.
A sports bra is different than a regular bra. It covers more than a bathing suit top in most cases, and I see nothing wrong with wearing one while exercising either in public or at home. And if walking is your exercise and it's 100+ degrees F outside, then definitely wear what you will to keep as cool as possible.
Also, men work out shirtless all the time. No one ever says anything to them about it. What if they're wearing an undershirt and working out? Would you say, "Undershirts are meant to be worn UNDER clothing"? The kind of thinking in your quoted post is doing absolutely nothing to combat the over-sexualization and shaming of women who are simply just trying to be comfortable in the heat. We should be able to wear what we want without hearing insults from people who think the way that you do. If you don't like it, look away. The person yelling the insult was entirely at fault in OP's story, and OP should not be blamed for wearing a sports bra while exercising in public.
To the OP, I agree with most of the posters here. The person who called you out must lead a very sad life. Don't let it get to you. You do you! You have come a long way so far and you are trying to improve your life. Don't worry about what a few ignorant people may think.0 -
SillyCat1975 wrote: »I was out without a shirt, when it's not a thousand degrees (lol) here, then I wear a shirt. Of course it is a hot summer so I can't see wearing a shirt as I am anticipating my stomach to continue to decrease (hopefully) She said the something like "That's nasty you need to put a shirt on" and well since the only thing showing other than my stomach, I can only assume that she was talking about my stomach. I don't know what else she could be talking about as it's not as small as I would like it to be. I appreciate your opinion on the matter, I know we all have them, I just wish this woman would have kept her mouth quiet, it was quite hurtful and while I portray the attitude and I truly thought I didn't care what people thought of me, in reality I guess I do.
I agree, what she said is very hurtful. (Out of personal curiosity - was she older? I find old women tend to just say "that's nasty" to pretty much everything - if you're thin it's "eat a sandwich" if you're fit it's "muscles are for men" and if you're fat it's "you must be lazy" - they're just *kitten* in general, ha ha!)
It could be possible that, no matter what size you could have been, that it's the fact that you were wearing just what she thought was a bra that made her say it. I've had friends out in summer with only a bikini top on and they're underweight and they've been told they look nasty and need to put a shirt on.
We'll never know for sure what this woman was referring to - but we can choose how to react to it. May I suggest choosing to see her reaction as one she'd have had towards any woman, fit or not? It may not be true, but we'd never know. So why not choose the option that benefits you most?
And I understand completely about not caring what people think of you. I go through much the same. I put on my workout stuff in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and think I'm progressing well. Then I get to the gym and see myself in the mirror there and immediately feel like I'm inadequate some days. It's important to recognize how other people make you feel - it's also important to remember who you are, who you want to be and stay true to what you want to do.
If you want to wear your sports bra out 'cause it's hot as balls, do so. It's hot as balls - you do what you gotta do! Eventually, you'll rock that top in a bod hotter than the weather.
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SillyCat1975 wrote: »460mustang wrote: »Well, you can hideout and feel sorry or you can take it as a challenge. Say, I'll show them! When I am done, I'll be fitter and better looking than they are! If anything, mean comments give me more drive to succeed. So get back on track and show them what you're made of.
Not going to feeling sorry, I've walked/ran 20 miles in the last 2 days, I am determined to make it to my goal weight which is 150.
Good for you! Not much you can do to those people, but it is irritating. Wish they could mind their own business.0 -
incorrect.azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
men can walk around shirtless- then women can to.
nipples aren't anything that exciting- so taking off your shirt and walking around in a sports bra shouldn't cause ANY sort of turmoil what so ever.
Being said- I agree- shirt because of cancer.
although I hate running with a shirt on.. it's completely annoying.
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SillyCat1975 wrote: »Me and my husband was walking down the street, it was hot as hades outside, I mean really hot, I wear a sports bra, I don't want to die of a heatstroke, I mean it's 85 degrees outside, I weigh 170 pounds, I know probably not sports bra appropriate ( because I'm heavy). So she comes up beside up in a gas station and yells out her window, "you need to wear a shirt' then they proceed to pull in, I should have held my tongue, I really should have. But, I couldn't, I said some pretty mean things to this random stranger as she sat there insulting me and my weight. That comment made me feel super awful about myself. I've lost focus of my weight loss goals,vI planned on 5 pounds by the end of July, I've not lost any weight in a month or so. I keep trying, I exercise and yet, I manage to eat my calories back, so here I am maintaining the weight that I am currently at. How would you handle and insult like that from a random stranger?
I would've ignored them because I'm not going to waste my time on people who shout things at strangers. People who shout insults at strangers are just low, nasty and not worth engaging.
You know you chose a clothing item that is perfectly appropriate for the activity you were doing in your climate. You were breaking no laws. Your outfit was less revealing than many swimsuits that are worn in public. It doesn't really matter how much you weigh. The person just wanted to be mean to someone. You get to decide your comfort level with what you wear not some idiot driving by. You are a human being at any size and do not have to shroud your body in sweltering layers in summer just because you have a larger stomach. Random crazy lady's hang ups about clothing or bodies don't really matter.
I am a fairy conservative dresser and I don't have an issue with your outfit on a public street in summer.
Keep going and put this far behind you.0 -
incorrect.azulvioleta6 wrote: »Bras are meant to be worn UNDER clothing. Even on someone very thin and fit, this is really not appropriate attire unless at the gym or actively on a run.
While her comments were meant-spirited, it sounds like you know that you shouldn't be dressed that way in public, right?
men can walk around shirtless- then women can to.
nipples aren't anything that exciting- so taking off your shirt and walking around in a sports bra shouldn't cause ANY sort of turmoil what so ever.
Being said- I agree- shirt because of cancer.
although I hate running with a shirt on.. it's completely annoying.
I do wear sunscreen most of the time, I worked in Oncology for a long time and seen the effects of Melanoma. I used to do tanning beds all the time about 5 years ago. I look back now and regret those decisions that I made due to the fact that I could potentially pay for it now. I inspect my skin for moles, and changes, I made a promise to God last year when I had a spot taken off of me that If I was ok then I would never tan again. So far, I've kept that promise, I want to live for the kids I have. Being vain in the past was one of my worst personality traits that I could have had.
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I had a very witty sassy friend (great person)but she had gained some weight and out on the town one night a girl came up to her and said somthing ugly about her weight and she turned around nd looked her up and down and said Ow huny!!! I can lose the weight but you cant do nothin about that face ! I thout it was great
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