what are you looking at? where do you get your self image?

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  • Chiquita_Banana
    Chiquita_Banana Posts: 500
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    you are the best hun =D i have a number but i will know my goal when i see it... =)
  • Tobi1013
    Tobi1013 Posts: 732 Member
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    Thansk so much for this! I am definitely coming out of that place where I only saw the stuff I didn't like about myself and really loving the woman I am becoming...each and every day. It takes time, but getting there has been amazing! Do I still look at myself in the mirror after my shower and lament my belly fat and flabbier-than-I-would-like-them-to-be arms? Yes, but those thoughts are now immediately followed by thoughts of what I used to be and how far I have indeed come.

    Cheers to you, Mr. Awesome, and all of the gorgeous men and women of MFP!!!
  • LadyPersia
    LadyPersia Posts: 1,444 Member
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    This was wonderful! Thank you.
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    What do I look at when I look in the mirror? A beautiful, happy, lovely girl. It took me a really long time to be happy. I have only been able to take losing weight seriously when I started taking responsibility for my actions and forgiving my "tormentors" of the past. I will never ever forget how bullied I was. I was too tall, too fat, and the sad part is that in High School I was only about 45 pounds overweight. Now I am 180 pounds overweight. Well, now only 165 lbs overweight. The bullies may not have made me fat, but they contributed to the low self-esteem that helped push me to overeat so much.
    I love myself. I love what God has done for me. I actually like my body and I lose weight to be healthier and wear cuter clothes! I don't compare myself to celebrities or other people. I don't always like what I see in the mirror, but I can see the changes since I have lost 15 pounds. This is how I think of it: It took me a long time to gain the weight, so it will take me a long time to take it off. 10 pounds a month is a reasonable goal.
    Women and girls who look in the mirrow and see ugliness are letting those around them color their thoughts. Honestly, it isn't celebirites most of the time, it is usually our own families that make us feel the most awful. Be brave and remember that if you don't love yourself, it doesn't matter how skinny you are you will be unhappy.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    Wish I could say that I developed on my own, but my self image comes from my parents. I was raised to have respect for myself and others.

    Very happy with my accomplishments and how I turned out.

    Took some detours and travelled some bumpy avenues, but I wouldn't change a thing.
  • ddalhoff
    ddalhoff Posts: 48
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    Very well said!!!! You are a smart man:wink:
  • LonelyPilgrim
    LonelyPilgrim Posts: 255 Member
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    I'm not sure where the bad juju comes from.

    You know those skinny mirrors they have in department stores? I wish I could buy one for my house. Maybe that would help fix my entire attitude about my body on a daily basis.

    All I know is that I'm overly critical about my body and I don't know why. I work in an ER, and on a VERY regular basis, I will have women come in to be seen and when I ask their height and weight they'll be either my same height or shorter, and will actually weigh more than me, but in my mind when I saw them, I think they're 20 lbs lighter than me. I don't know why my brain has this discrepancy. Why I think a woman who weighs more than me looks "thin and great" but when I look in the mirror all I see is the wobbly bits and the muffin top? Very frustrating to be sure.

    I think I just have a F*d up brain, and not sure how to fix it. There have been only 2 comments in my entire life that I took as negative about my body, and somehow, although they should be far far far outweighed by the positive comments, the 2 negative ones are the ones that stick in my head. sick!!!

    I see the sickness, but I can't remedy it.

    the sad part is, even when I was really skinny (like irregular periods I was so skinny) I still wasn't happy with my body because then my boobs went away and my stomach still wasn't flat (2 big babies left me with a little excess skin that seems it never wants to shrink back down).

    I see pictures now and I think I looked great. Heck, i even see pictures from my honemoon last year, where I'm the same size as I am NOW and i think I look great. But look in the mirror and...I don't see it.:frown:
  • C_Bran
    C_Bran Posts: 254
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    "......and let the Church say Amen......"
  • MeliciousMelis
    MeliciousMelis Posts: 458 Member
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    "......and let the Church say Amen......"

    AMEN!!! :)
  • RobMacca1
    RobMacca1 Posts: 51 Member
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    totally agree with what you are saying, there is actually an illness linked to a percentage of these people (men and women) the name i cant remember (morph - something) but its basically something in your head which when you look at yourself you dont see a slim, skinny, toned or even normal shape body, u add pounds on because thats your perception of what you look like anyway and see weight, fat, and plumpness that arent actually there.

    im going to research more into this an report back with my findings.
  • MeliciousMelis
    MeliciousMelis Posts: 458 Member
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    My self image has been an evolving one. I don't give much credence to what anyone else thinks of me, and I really do appreciate that self image isn't just what we see....but what we feel and what we believe.

    To quote:

    "I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same." -- Fabienne, Pulp Fiction
  • LonelyPilgrim
    LonelyPilgrim Posts: 255 Member
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    My self image has been an evolving one. I don't give much credence to what anyone else thinks of me, and I really do appreciate that self image isn't just what we see....but what we feel and what we believe.

    To quote:

    "I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same." -- Fabienne, Pulp Fiction

    Love that Quote Melicious! It really stuck with me after watching that movie, and I've used it many times.. now if I could just get my brain to re-believe it! When I was in high school and into my early 20s I was heavier than I am now, and I thought--make that KNEW--that I was HOT. I had ZERO body issues.

    then something awful/strange happened. I decided to start running (because my dad and brother were starting, so I thought, what the heck) ... and as I started naturally losing weight because of the exercise, I started getting more and more body conscious and unhappy with my body. The more I started losing, the more obsessed I became with losing more. So messed up!
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    I hear what your saying and completely agree.

    However, there are MANY men who do not share that same view. And with the mixture of media, where somone who is a size 6 is considered "plus size" being shoved down our throats with every tv show, magazine article and and ad on the internet (take at look at the ads the run here on MFP) it does not surprise me at all.
  • SoFancySoBlessed
    SoFancySoBlessed Posts: 224 Member
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    VERY WELL SAID! I LOVE IT! I DONT COMPARE MYSELF TO ANYONE, I AM ON THIS JOURNEY TO BE THE HEALTHIEST THAT I CAN BE FOR MY TWO BOYS!!! THANKS FOR THE REALITY CHECK! :heart:
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    The closer people get to the right (healthy) weight for them, the easier it is to look at women in fashion magazines and films and think "Why don't I look like that?" When you are bigger you just know you'll never look like them so it's a pointless comparison, but once you are close, it's impossible not to compare yourself unfavourably. I would kill to look like my little sister, whereas she used to worry endlessly about having big ankles compared to Nadia Auermann and Kate Moss. I would never even think of comparing myself to them, as there's no point, but for my sister, who did a bit of modelling and is very beautiful, it irritated her she would never be in their league, as she was so close.

    It may not be sensible, but it's the way most people are. As long as there is someone more beautiful, we think we aren't good enough. And there always is.

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