Does this make me shallow?

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Replies

  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    ThomasW13 wrote: »
    jaecamp1 wrote: »
    The requirements you set are yours and yours alone. If you don't feel you'd be a good match/compatible with someone that doesn't possess certain qualities why waste either of your time?

    There were certain requirements I had, then let some slide. Guess what issues have been completely demolishing my marriage? Yep, those dismissed requirements. Never again.

    This one here ^ been there. done that. lessons learned.

    Awww. Did she gain 3 lbs and lose her thigh gap?

  • 3AAnn3
    3AAnn3 Posts: 3,054 Member
    Tonight at the gym, there was a very attractive, muscular, fit man in maybe late 40's, early 50's. He was there with his wife who was probably 300 pounds. He looked very sad, but he was leading her around from machine to machine and helping her. I think you need those standards. But people sometimes bait and switch.
  • fanoula169
    fanoula169 Posts: 82 Member
    In short no not at all, you want a person with similar goals and if that includes fitness so be it
  • berndanddana
    berndanddana Posts: 114 Member
    I agree that the person you are choosing to go through life with should have similar goals. If fitness is a big priority to you, it stands to reason it should be important to your significant other too. As far as standards of beauty goes in a partner, that is shallow. After all, beauty is fleeting. If you're looking for someone to go through life with...age is gonna take a toll, no one escapes it. So in the end, I'd want a partner who had the same goals, who I could laugh with, and encourage and cheer on. Yes, I would enjoy that persons beauty while it lasted but it would never be a deal breaker
  • pechepanda
    pechepanda Posts: 7,939 Member
    no, people are attracted to people like them, its normal
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    I don't think it's shallow. There's nothing wrong with "wanting" something, especially when that something fits within your interests too (I'm a musician, I don't think I could date a bad musician or someone who really likes a band like...Maroon 5 or something). It also doesn't mean that you might meet someone amazing, who is a little over weight and does not work out-who you just fall in love with because you're a right fit.
  • LovingLifeInCalifornia
    LovingLifeInCalifornia Posts: 9,362 Member
    Gozzfitness wrote: »
    Initial attraction goes without saying..
    But when you only want to date people who are fitness driven and track their nutrition, does this make you a shallow person?

    I can't be the only one who sometimes pictures their future significant other to be a macro tracking gym nut, who's life without food scales is just unthinkable, right!?

    Someone make me feel normal :')

    I think everyone has a list. And preferences. Don't feel bad about it. But also keep in mind that you just never know who you can or will connect with. No one had thought my husband and I would last. On the surface, we were/are opposites, but we have been together for years.

    That being said, I think it's important to have some of the same interests, but remember that sometimes life throws a curveball and people change. Interests change. How will you feel if said person changes in a few years? What's a deal breaker? Going to the gym? Tracking macros?

    My husband and I started dating in college - we were both fit people...gym regulars.

    But then after full time jobs and kids? He went to the gym regularly still...and I got fat. 5 lbs here, 10 lbs there, another 10 sneaked in. I went to the gym off and on throughout the years, but I never quite got back to college weight. And then I ballooned to what I felt was just not okay. :( For whatever reason, that never seemed to bother him - just me.

    I finally did something about it.

    Fast forward to now: I'm the fitness freak tracking my calories and cardio/strength days. He's still doing his thing and wondering why I'm so obsessed with logging every day. He's still as fit as he was in college - if not more.

    I don't know if it makes you shallow. The thigh gap...yea- and height requirements, waist measurements, yes to those.

    But looking as fitness and health as a value? Not shallow to me. But like others said, it doesn't mean if a person values health, they'll look like a fitness model.



  • Misshodge64
    Misshodge64 Posts: 8,588 Member
    I don't think it is Shallow but if you only want to be friend and talk and hang around attractive people with money than i would probably do some soul searching.
  • Gozzfitness
    Gozzfitness Posts: 12 Member
    LovingLifeInCalifornia wrote: »
    Gozzfitness wrote: »
    Initial attraction goes without saying..
    But when you only want to date people who are fitness driven and track their nutrition, does this make you a shallow person?

    I can't be the only one who sometimes pictures their future significant other to be a macro tracking gym nut, who's life without food scales is just unthinkable, right!?

    Someone make me feel normal :')

    I think everyone has a list. And preferences. Don't feel bad about it. But also keep in mind that you just never know who you can or will connect with. No one had thought my husband and I would last. On the surface, we were/are opposites, but we have been together for years.

    That being said, I think it's important to have some of the same interests, but remember that sometimes life throws a curveball and people change. Interests change. How will you feel if said person changes in a few years? What's a deal breaker? Going to the gym? Tracking macros?

    My husband and I started dating in college - we were both fit people...gym regulars.

    But then after full time jobs and kids? He went to the gym regularly still...and I got fat. 5 lbs here, 10 lbs there, another 10 sneaked in. I went to the gym off and on throughout the years, but I never quite got back to college weight. And then I ballooned to what I felt was just not okay. :( For whatever reason, that never seemed to bother him - just me.

    I finally did something about it.

    Fast forward to now: I'm the fitness freak tracking my calories and cardio/strength days. He's still doing his thing and wondering why I'm so obsessed with logging every day. He's still as fit as he was in college - if not more.

    I don't know if it makes you shallow. The thigh gap...yea- and height requirements, waist measurements, yes to those.

    But looking as fitness and health as a value? Not shallow to me. But like others said, it doesn't mean if a person values health, they'll look like a fitness model.



    Thank you for the response :smiley:
  • Gozzfitness
    Gozzfitness Posts: 12 Member
    berndanddana wrote: »
    I agree that the person you are choosing to go through life with should have similar goals. If fitness is a big priority to you, it stands to reason it should be important to your significant other too. As far as standards of beauty goes in a partner, that is shallow. After all, beauty is fleeting. If you're looking for someone to go through life with...age is gonna take a toll, no one escapes it. So in the end, I'd want a partner who had the same goals, who I could laugh with, and encourage and cheer on. Yes, I would enjoy that persons beauty while it lasted but it would never be a deal breaker

    Ah beauty never fades in the eyes of love! :) thanks for your reply.. it's nice to know others have a similar outlook
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,276 Member
    edited July 2015
    Not shallow.

    Incidentally, I read that title as "swallow" at first.
  • Gozzfitness
    Gozzfitness Posts: 12 Member
    PurringMyrrh wrote: »
    Not shallow.

    Incidentally, I read that title as "swallow" at first.

    hahaha!! Nice XD
  • isulo_kura
    isulo_kura Posts: 818 Member
    Yes
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    Not shallow, but maybe a bit closed minded. Everyone can get more active and fit. It's not a genetic thing to be sedentary.

    I have a friend who once dropped a guy who was overweight. Fast forward about 5 years. He was engaged to be married to a friend of hers and had dropped about 50b and shaped up, and BTW, gorgeous - as she reported.

    So. You never know.

    On the other hand, I do find it difficult to envision that myself. :D
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