Chubby girl sets out to become fitness model

I’m just an ordinary girl. I’ve done no incredible things in my life so far. I have extraordinary dreams like anyone else, but I guess I just stopped chasing them a long time ago as they seemed way out of reach. I’m just trying to take life day by day, focusing on making a living and planning for the future.

I’ve been overweight most of my life. Growing up, being ‘skinny like the other girls’ was always my biggest wish. From a very early age onwards, losing weight was my main focus. But like so many other girls and women who try to lose weight, I failed. Not once, not twice, but every single time. Here’s the thing: I turned to food to deal with stress, emotions, and problems, as sugary and fatty foods comforted me when no one was around. I knew I had a problem when I couldn’t control what I ate anymore – I couldn’t just eat one piece of chocolate, but had to have the entire block. Some may call it greed, but I know it’s not. It’s dependence. In fact, after years of slowly getting worse, it turned into binge eating disorder. This has been my dirty little secret for many years. I exercised and dieted extensively after a period of food binges to make sure I didn’t gain too much weight. But it never lasted. I needed food not just to feed myself, but also to help me cope with life. Exercise didn’t come either naturally. Slowest runner during PE class, last one picked on every team - you get the idea. By the time I hit 21 and had been unsuccessful at trying to lose weight for nearly 9 years, I gave up on myself. I accepted the fact I wasn’t athletic and had been unable to lose weight. I accepted the fact I would always be the chubby girl. The ‘fat’ girl. I even accepted that I would never be able to live life the way I wanted to and that I would have to settle for less. Until I realised I was paying the ultimate price for this acceptance: I was sacrificing my happiness and my dreams.

I have given myself one year to become a fitness model. Right now, I have 31% body fat, I weigh 156 pounds and I’m 5”6, but I want to transform my body into that killer body I’ve always dreamed of having. I want to feel confident and proud, accomplished and happy. I want to inspire myself, and all the other girls and women out there who think it’s impossible or too late to chase their dreams. I want to prove that you don’t have to be ‘stuck’ inside a body that makes you feel insecure and unhappy, and that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. I am aware I have the odds against me as I am not your average fitness-loving, high-metabolism, junk food aversive role model. I’m just an ordinary girl. I’ve done no incredible things in my life so far. I have extraordinary dreams like anyone else, and for once in my life, I’m going to chase them.

I will try to keep updating this post on a weekly basis too, which will probably be every Monday. All the support/motivation I could get is very welcome!

With love,
Anne Gislaine x

[Edited by MFP Mods]