Warped body image?

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dizzzigrl
dizzzigrl Posts: 196 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone here struggle with body image after losing weight? I recently went from a bigger 12 to an 8, and when I look in the mirror, I still see that bigger girl! I will go to put clothes on and look at my jeans or shorts and think "there's no way these are going to fit" but they do. I am not an attention seeker, but I always have to ask my sister "are you sure this looks ok?" or "are you sure it's a good picture of me"? I am sure it drives her crazy! I would appreciate some advice from anyone else who has gone through this!
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Replies

  • futurecatlady
    futurecatlady Posts: 6 Member
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    I struggled with body image even when I was a size 2 in college. Gaining weight made the body image issue much worse for me... So far the process of losing it back off hasn't helped lessen it for me, it's just remained pretty stable at "negative".

    I don't know that I have advice, but it's something that effects a lot of people-- even void of weight loss or gain-- so you are certainly not alone!

    I try to focus less on what I see in the mirror and the size of my clothes, and more on how I feel about myself. The brain is a fabulous organ, but it can be deceptive.

    You've definitely made some great accomplishments!
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,691 Member
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    Warped body image is the title to the story of my life. Unfortunately I never feel good about myself. I went from size 10 or 12 to a 2 or 4 and still feel disgusted with myself every day. I know that what I see is not realistic but I don't know how to change it.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    It sounds like your brain hasn't caught up with your weight loss yet. Maybe putting some before and current pictures side by side will give you some perspective on how much progress you have made.
  • LVNF04
    LVNF04 Posts: 2,607 Member
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    Some people will tell me I look good in certain clothes but if I don't feel it I won't wear it. I can take a really long time to get ready, sometimes 30 to 40 minutes of trying stuff on to project a particular image that is unique and to my standards. Btw, not gay, maybe just a little ocd. Lol
  • chatterbox3110
    chatterbox3110 Posts: 630 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Yep, guilty as charged..... I've dropped from a 34 into an 18ish, ten stones weight loss so far, yet I still head for the back of the rail in stores for the largest sizes. My brain doesn't want to accept what my eyes can see and it can be soooo frustrating, but I suppose in time it will come to accept the new me.

    As jkal1979 said above , try putting photos side by side, that's what I've done recently (see profile picture) and I was shocked!
  • Urban_Princess
    Urban_Princess Posts: 219 Member
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    omg i'm in the same boat. went from an 18 to a 6 and i feel stocky all the time. I have to compare myself to everyone to have an idea of what I really look like now. it is terrible especially went I want to try on new clothes.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    it's not unusual. but if it's an issue that is lingering a therapist or support group might help you with the dysmorphia

    if it's all still sorta new, you are just getting the hang of the new you. you are a whole new shape. not knowing how long you were your old shape, I would say it takes time to get used to the change.
    congrats on the new you :)
  • ManiacalLaugh
    ManiacalLaugh Posts: 1,048 Member
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    Yep. Weight loss is largely in the head. For many of us, it's not just a matter of getting the numbers down on the scale; it's about getting our mindset right.

    I've been losing for three years now (I'm a bit of a turtle-paced loser and I've had a hiccup or two). I'm still coming to terms with being smaller than I was. In fact, I had to buy a pair of uniform-like pants online for work for an event and I didn't have time to order a pair that wasn't going to fit. Because of the panic of needing to do this quickly, I ordered a size up from what I normally wear thinking "it'll be easier; these will fit for sure."

    Nope. They were huge. I felt like I was wearing a potato sack around my waist the entire time. If I'd just had a little more confidence in myself, I could've ordered them correctly. It's a constant battle.
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
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    I'm hesitant to chime in because of my size, but here we go. I wear a 0/XS now, and I have for a couple years (used to be a 6-8/M most of the time) which I understand is objectively small and that I've never been "big" or even technically overweight...but I definitely don't feel smaller. More than that, I feel like I look a lot bigger than other people who wear the same size, which is probably not actually possible...but still. When I see people wearing the same thing as me I always, always wonder why I look so much bigger than they do.
  • katieshaheen66
    katieshaheen66 Posts: 16 Member
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    iLoveMyPitbull1225 wrote: »
    Warped body image is the title to the story of my life. Unfortunately I never feel good about myself. I went from size 10 or 12 to a 2 or 4 and still feel disgusted with myself every day. I know that what I see is not realistic but I don't know how to change it.

    Same with me. I went from a size 8 to a 2 and still feel overweight. My bigger struggle is comments from others - before I would get subtle comments about being overweight, and now I am getting comments saying that I am too thin, and family members start bringing me plates of food at functions.

    I know I have come a long way, and need to be proud of that. Losing 40 pounds is a big deal and a huge accomplishment!
  • dizzzigrl
    dizzzigrl Posts: 196 Member
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    peleroja wrote: »
    I'm hesitant to chime in because of my size, but here we go. I wear a 0/XS now, and I have for a couple years (used to be a 6-8/M most of the time) which I understand is objectively small and that I've never been "big" or even technically overweight...but I definitely don't feel smaller. More than that, I feel like I look a lot bigger than other people who wear the same size, which is probably not actually possible...but still. When I see people wearing the same thing as me I always, always wonder why I look so much bigger than they do.

    So true!!! I was at a concert the other night and a girl was wearing a similar outfit to what I had on (I was wearing a romper type thing that was shorts and a strapless top - my friend talked me into wearing it even though I was uncomfortable lol) she was quite a bit bigger than I am but I couldn't help but to think that was exactly how I looked in my outfit. Don't get me wrong, I admire her self confidence for wearing it, but it did not flatter her - and she was probably slightly larger than my old size. My sister had weight loss surgery so she understands what I am going through but probably wanted to kill me when I asked her if that was how I looked, and then kept my jacket on for the rest of the night.

  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,196 Member
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    That's pretty normal. You've not lost a huge amount of weight. Imagine dropping from a 22 to a 10. :)

    It still weirds me out to notice people wearing clothes that I also own and to realize that I am not in the biggest possible size anymore.
  • dubird
    dubird Posts: 1,849 Member
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    For me it was the opposite. I was a much lower weight in college and didn't start gaining weight until I stopped working at a restaurant and went full time at a desk job. Even at my heaviest, my mental image was college weight, so it was always a horrible shock when I looked in the mirror. Now, I'm much closer to what my mental image is and I feel better. Only advice I have is to give your brain time to reformulate what your mental image is. It'll take a while, but it'll happen. Maybe have current pictures of you and your friends/SO around where you work as a reminder that this is what you look like NOW. That might help reset your brain's image of you.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    I have. Honestly it's mostly held me back when it comes to dating. I just didn't bother. I felt I was too big to be attractive to date. It is better now. Time is a big factor. It will take time for your brain to catch up.
  • Gska17
    Gska17 Posts: 752 Member
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    Definitely. I went from a 12 to a 4/6 and I really can't see it sometimes. Photos help!
  • laurajo521
    laurajo521 Posts: 91 Member
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    This is to any of you who are not comfortable in your own skin or feel like you're not seeing your true self in the mirror, or really anyone on such a major weight loss journey: If you can, at least go to a therapist once or twice. Believe me, you can lose all the weight in the world but if you are not in the right place mentally or haven't dealt with what made you overweight in the first place, it's not going to work long-term. The best thing I ever did for myself was to invest in therapy and deal with the underlying emotional issues surrounding my body image and obesity.
  • Angierae75
    Angierae75 Posts: 417 Member
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    I had a breast reduction five years ago and I still look at shirts and go "this isn't going to fit" and then it fits or it's too big. It takes time.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Patience is key here. Look at the before photos.
  • rory0516
    rory0516 Posts: 16 Member
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    I've gone from a size 8 to drowning in 00 jeans... I look in the mirror and I honestly see very little difference. It's like I know I have lost weight and I know I'm somewhat thinner but I don't see myself 50 lbs lighter and yet the rest of the world seems to.
    I just wish I could see what they see...
  • MorganMoreaux
    MorganMoreaux Posts: 691 Member
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    peleroja wrote: »
    I'm hesitant to chime in because of my size, but here we go. I wear a 0/XS now, and I have for a couple years (used to be a 6-8/M most of the time) which I understand is objectively small and that I've never been "big" or even technically overweight...but I definitely don't feel smaller. More than that, I feel like I look a lot bigger than other people who wear the same size, which is probably not actually possible...but still. When I see people wearing the same thing as me I always, always wonder why I look so much bigger than they do.

    Girl I'm in the same boat. My largest was 6/8 and now I'm a 0/2 and feel large. I tried on a form fitting dress the other day and was shocked how large my hips looked to me (everyone else thought I looked great). I have literally no fat on my hips and I know that I am by no means large or overweight, but I still feel big. I have always felt this way, even as a young girl (4 or 5). I have learned to acknowledge the feeling and tell myself it's in my head and move on.

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