Are you a positive person?
Iron_Mommy
Posts: 25 Member
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to comment in these forums. I try to be very positive and supportive, while keeping in mind that different things work for different people. I'm just so surprised by those people that make back handed comments (usually it's someone who's lost a lot or all of their goal weight) disagreeing or putting someone down because they are achieving their goals in a different way than they did. If you aren't contributing positively to a conversation, then why are you commenting at all? Being around negative people is something that has blocked me from keeping up with with my goals in the past.
SO... If you like to have supportive positive friends on here, add me!
If you are someone who reads this and thinks for second about writing something negative or off putting, save yourself some trouble and just block me right now!! Thanks
SO... If you like to have supportive positive friends on here, add me!
If you are someone who reads this and thinks for second about writing something negative or off putting, save yourself some trouble and just block me right now!! Thanks
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Good for you, I feel the same way. If you don't have something nice to say than don't say anything at all. Everyone is different and everyone has to find what works for them. I wish you much success in your journey.0
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Definitely positive person. I'm optimistic about everyone's chances at physical improvement. However, I won't pacify them if I feel anything they are doing doesn't benefit them. If they are doing a program I KNOW is just a fad or scam, I'll let them know it. Sometimes people will view that as "negative", but in truth it SHOULD create a positive reaction.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Positive here! Sent you a friend request. The way I lose weight might not be the same for you (you meaning everyone else), but I don't push it on anyone. All I want is to see active people staying under calorie goals and most importantly KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF!0
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I get a bit annoyed by the 'know it alls' on here, the one who just argue constantly with someone if the way they are doing something isn't the way they would do it. There's no harm in giving constructive criticism and guidance (esp if someone has taken on a diet or plan that is going to be really bad for them or its a fad etc) but some times people in here are so mean and dismissive it really gets my goat!0
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im a realist with an open mind. There is a lot I don't know about a variety of subjects, health and fitness being one of them, so I dont pretend that I do.
At the same time, if im doing something that is a red flag or incorrect, i would rather someone speak up and tell me so that i don't carry on with the same errors.
There is a difference between being critical and rude. If they want to be the latter, I can usually bypass any BS and investigate further into the crux of their advice.0 -
@allaboutthefood Agreed! And thank you, good luck to you as well.
@ninerbuff I totally understand that point of view. If someone is taking on a crazy crash diet, or using a bunch of fad diet pills of course they should be informed that it is bad for them and will almost certainly gain all the weight back. But, it needs to come from a positive tone of voice. Better yet, it needs to come from someone they trust or an expert. And people will take it negatively, but you are right that in those cases...the truth hurts.
@busyPK So glad to connect with you! I'll be cheering you on!
@Fivefarthings Exactly! That's what gets under my skin too!
@MisterZ33 I'm glad to hear it. One thing i've come to realize is that I need to educate myself more when it comes to health and fitness. And sometimes, not believe everything I read on the internet! lol
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Lolz.0
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It bothers me when people think that weight loss is a one size fits all. What works for you, might not work for me. Everyone needs to find what works for them and go with it.0
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It seems like you might be conflating "criticism" with "contributing negatively." Sometimes people do foolish things and pointing out those foolish things is a much more positive contribution than "Hang in there, you, just keep doing what you're doing. You deserve success.Iron_Mommy wrote: »If you aren't contributing positively to a conversation, then why are you commenting at all?
"
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Iron_Mommy wrote: »
@ninerbuff I totally understand that point of view. If someone is taking on a crazy crash diet, or using a bunch of fad diet pills of course they should be informed that it is bad for them and will almost certainly gain all the weight back. But, it needs to come from a positive tone of voice. Better yet, it needs to come from someone they trust or an expert. And people will take it negatively, but you are right that in those cases...the truth hurts.
If it needs to come from someone they trust or an expert then they should ask someone they trust or an expert. Coming to a public forum to ask advice and then expecting only positive affirmations that they are doing the right thing is unrealistic. As far as tone of voice goes, the longer you stick around the forums you will see that the "know it alls" typically are people who have done a lot of research and know their stuff. From what I have seen, most of the time it is just stated matter of factly. Putting sunshine and rainbows around what they are saying doesn't make it any more or less valid.
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This thread comes up so regularly that I have a standard copy/paste answer for it. Would you like to read it? I really don't care; I'm posting it anyway:It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) and let the mods deal with it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.
Honestly, I have a copy/paste set-up for a lot of the advice that I give on these forums. Because after the 13th time PER DAY that I've been shouted at by someone who didn't really want advice or obliquely insulted by threads like this one, no, I'm not able to stay very positive. And I've been called negative/mean/bully/troll for using copy/paste advice. So, there really is no winning for anyone who's active on this site.
If that wasn't positive enough for you, well, you're welcome to block me. Just as soon as the ignore function comes back. We've been waiting for it's return for about 9 months now.0 -
JenAndSome wrote: »Iron_Mommy wrote: »
@ninerbuff I totally understand that point of view. If someone is taking on a crazy crash diet, or using a bunch of fad diet pills of course they should be informed that it is bad for them and will almost certainly gain all the weight back. But, it needs to come from a positive tone of voice. Better yet, it needs to come from someone they trust or an expert. And people will take it negatively, but you are right that in those cases...the truth hurts.
If it needs to come from someone they trust or an expert then they should ask someone they trust or an expert. Coming to a public forum to ask advice and then expecting only positive affirmations that they are doing the right thing is unrealistic. As far as tone of voice goes, the longer you stick around the forums you will see that the "know it alls" typically are people who have done a lot of research and know their stuff. From what I have seen, most of the time it is just stated matter of factly. Putting sunshine and rainbows around what they are saying doesn't make it any more or less valid.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever seen around here is to read all posts in Kermit the Frog's voice. Not only is it entertaining to try, but it cuts through a lot of the tone that people tend to put onto another person's post.
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diannethegeek wrote: »This thread comes up so regularly that I have a standard copy/paste answer for it. Would you like to read it? I really don't care; I'm posting it anyway:It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) and let the mods deal with it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.
Honestly, I have a copy/paste set-up for a lot of the advice that I give on these forums. Because after the 13th time PER DAY that I've been shouted at by someone who didn't really want advice or obliquely insulted by threads like this one, no, I'm not able to stay very positive. And I've been called negative/mean/bully/troll for using copy/paste advice. So, there really is no winning for anyone who's active on this site.
If that wasn't positive enough for you, well, you're welcome to block me. Just as soon as the ignore function comes back. We've been waiting for it's return for about 9 months now.
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Iron_Mommy wrote: »Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to comment in these forums. I try to be very positive and supportive, while keeping in mind that different things work for different people. I'm just so surprised by those people that make back handed comments (usually it's someone who's lost a lot or all of their goal weight) disagreeing or putting someone down because they are achieving their goals in a different way than they did. If you aren't contributing positively to a conversation, then why are you commenting at all? Being around negative people is something that has blocked me from keeping up with with my goals in the past.
SO... If you like to have supportive positive friends on here, add me!
If you are someone who reads this and thinks for second about writing something negative or off putting, save yourself some trouble and just block me right now!! Thanks
That's one of the most negative positivity posts I've ever seen. Well done on upping the irony around here.0 -
I don't do sugar coating or misguided asspats. Ask my kids. Also it's ironic to me that you talk about being totally supportive and all sunshine and bunnies and yet here you are lashing out at people who don't have the same approach as you. I think that's called hypocrisy.
And the saddest thing of all ... the block feature no longer exists.
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diannethegeek wrote: »This thread comes up so regularly that I have a standard copy/paste answer for it. Would you like to read it? I really don't care; I'm posting it anyway:It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) and let the mods deal with it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.
Honestly, I have a copy/paste set-up for a lot of the advice that I give on these forums. Because after the 13th time PER DAY that I've been shouted at by someone who didn't really want advice or obliquely insulted by threads like this one, no, I'm not able to stay very positive. And I've been called negative/mean/bully/troll for using copy/paste advice. So, there really is no winning for anyone who's active on this site.
If that wasn't positive enough for you, well, you're welcome to block me. Just as soon as the ignore function comes back. We've been waiting for it's return for about 9 months now.
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Very very positive person here! Don't like negativity at all and don't work well with meanies or trolls. I try to keep them off my page as much as possible.
And anyone that's with me, about spreading positive motivation, positive feedback, and a general positive outlook on life, cheers to you, :drinker: and please feel free to add me. 0 -
I tend to be optimistic, but will not go along if I think what you are saying is a mistake. I will not attack you for your opinion, but will supply the correct information.
Like "no food is the enemy" or "too much of anything is bad" and what I always tell people "what works for me may not work for you because everyone is different" then of course offer what works for me.
On the other side, I get very busy and am not always the most supportive. However, at this point I need to be more involved as I slipped back. So I will send a friend request, but and leave it up to you
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Oh and I almost forgot to say this:
Life is way too short to focus on the bad, stop and smell the roses. There is a rainbow behind every storm cloud, you just have to look harder to find it sometimes.0 -
I'm completely for meeting a person where they are in the journey, offering well wishes, and letting them know they're not alone.
I don't think it's fair though, to call constructive criticism "negativity." If someone is doing something that isn't working (e.g. taking "miracle" fat burners), then why shouldn't we give them that information straight? If someone thinks they're going to lose weight without eating on a deficit, they should probably know that this isn't going to work.
This is coming from someone who has been trying to lose weight since waaaaaay before MFP existed. I've been fed almost every piece of misinformation that has ever been advertised as a "diet strategy". I would have loved to have saved just a little of the amount of time I've wasted on the ideas like "fat makes you fat," "carbs make you fat," "calorie counting is for losers," or "drink this shake and solve all of your problems." Getting this information a little earlier would've saved me so much pain.
I don't necessarily care about the form of package this information comes in as long as it isn't personally insulting, such as, "You wanker, you're an idiot for weighing in ounces and not in grams," or similar language. I left MFP once because I did run into that sort of attitude - and trust me, the average poster on here right now, tough or not, does not exude anything close to that level of negativity.0 -
See...here's the thing: It's not usually someone who IS "accomplishing their goals in a different way." It's more like someone who wants to launch into some foolish or ineffective method that at best unnecessary or at worst harmful, or has already implemented said method and can't figure out why it isn't working.0
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jennifer_417 wrote: »See...here's the thing: It's not usually someone who IS "accomplishing their goals in a different way." It's more like someone who wants to launch into some foolish or ineffective method that at best unnecessary or at worst harmful, or has already implemented said method and can't figure out why it isn't working.
Agreed. The last poster I was "tough" on was someone who takes Phentermine with Red Bull (heart attack waiting to happen), goes days without eating, and when she does, she eats gas station food. She wants to find another "magic" fat/carb blocker and has no interest in logging correctly or eating a balanced diet. This is a moribidly obese person who needs to get healthier now. When the advice started pouring in (some with perfectly pleasant language), she ignored it and argued. She doesn't need positivity. She needs to have her eyes opened.0 -
diannethegeek wrote: »This thread comes up so regularly that I have a standard copy/paste answer for it. Would you like to read it? I really don't care; I'm posting it anyway:It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) and let the mods deal with it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.
Honestly, I have a copy/paste set-up for a lot of the advice that I give on these forums. Because after the 13th time PER DAY that I've been shouted at by someone who didn't really want advice or obliquely insulted by threads like this one, no, I'm not able to stay very positive. And I've been called negative/mean/bully/troll for using copy/paste advice. So, there really is no winning for anyone who's active on this site.
If that wasn't positive enough for you, well, you're welcome to block me. Just as soon as the ignore function comes back. We've been waiting for it's return for about 9 months now.
This, so much.
This is a public forum. If you don't want advice, don't ask for it.
It's also impossible to infer tone from text alone. Most likely, the negative "tone" you hear is yourself projecting your own issues and insecurities into whatever you're reading. Just because the advice is not what you want to hear, doesn't mean that it's negative or that it's condescending or mean.0 -
OP only wants unicorns and rainbows. Got it!!!
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diannethegeek wrote: »This thread comes up so regularly that I have a standard copy/paste answer for it. Would you like to read it? I really don't care; I'm posting it anyway:It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) and let the mods deal with it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.
Honestly, I have a copy/paste set-up for a lot of the advice that I give on these forums. Because after the 13th time PER DAY that I've been shouted at by someone who didn't really want advice or obliquely insulted by threads like this one, no, I'm not able to stay very positive. And I've been called negative/mean/bully/troll for using copy/paste advice. So, there really is no winning for anyone who's active on this site.
If that wasn't positive enough for you, well, you're welcome to block me. Just as soon as the ignore function comes back. We've been waiting for it's return for about 9 months now.
So much this
But also positivity for positivity's sake makes me throw up in my mouth a little
Jus' saying ...takes all sorts
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