Why is it always about fellas?

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2

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  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,733 Member
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    Mr_Stabbems wrote: »
    fitmap73 wrote: »
    Also consider that the current boss could be manipulating her. It depends on the man, and the relative difference in looks/age, but men in authority can emotionally manipulate a "work wife" to work irrationally hard and stay irrationally loyal.

    did you mean PEOPLE in authority?

    Feeling stabby like you....

  • cbarn025
    cbarn025 Posts: 939 Member
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    You are already wrong from a martial point of view in my opinion. You have allowed yourself to develop such strong feelings for another man that it's impeding your career growth. That's something I think you need to address within yourself. The only reason you're torn is b/c you have feelings for this man. If you're boss was a female and everything else held constant ask yourself would it really be that hard of a decision?
  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,733 Member
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    PS- guilt trippers: work chemistry is not a crime. (It's not necessarily love or lust).
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,579 Member
    edited July 2015
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    My opinion is your success in anything you do is based on what you put into it. While it may be nice and fun to work with someone you like, it may also be the same reason it holds you back. Unless it's an owner of a business, a boss usually has their own boss. So what would your previous boss think of you ascending and taking his job?
    Yes there is also the issue of not knowing who you're working with at your new job, but still exceeding in it would bring notice.
    IMO, I have acquaintances at work. I don't party or hang out with them after nor do I invite them to parties with my friends or relatives. Seems harsh? Maybe, but I've been around lots of work environments and don't get caught up in the drama that many of my peers did with one another, then try to get people to take sides.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    I slept my way up the corporate ladder. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm now head Janitor. Who's laughing now. :)
  • Mr_Stabbems
    Mr_Stabbems Posts: 4,773 Member
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    slideaway1 wrote: »
    I slept my way up the corporate ladder. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm now head Janitor. Who's laughing now. :)

    did you have to redefine the use of the broom handle?
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    Mr_Stabbems wrote: »
    slideaway1 wrote: »
    I slept my way up the corporate ladder. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm now head Janitor. Who's laughing now. :)

    did you have to redefine the use of the broom handle?

    I don't think he Janitors in that way, ifyaknowwhatimean? "Head" janitor.
  • Mr_Stabbems
    Mr_Stabbems Posts: 4,773 Member
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    :o
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    Mr_Stabbems wrote: »
    :o

    Pretty much
  • cole_carter
    cole_carter Posts: 174 Member
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    My approach to this type of mental puzzle is to let fate decide. I would accept the position and then tell my boss that although I like my present job and the people, I accepted this other job for better pay and opportunity. Then I would see if I got a counter offer. If not, then you have your decision. This approach would but you in a position of greater power in this drama.
  • Timelordlady85
    Timelordlady85 Posts: 797 Member
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    If it ain't broke, don't fix it lol
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Just go and don't do anything that burns your bridges. That includes indulging in the crush, divulging the crush, or crushing your boss. If your boss is as cool as you think he is and you leave as gracefully as possible not crossing any boundaries he may be open to re-hiring you if as ppl here have hinted the new environment doesn't justify the perks.

    I've been re-hired in the past after thinking the grass was greener only to find it was smelly as fertilizer after all. It can happen.
  • Owlie45
    Owlie45 Posts: 810 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Your thoughts aren't all that matter. What does your SO think about you wanting to stay because of your boss?
    Change sucks but if you can be going up you should do it.
    MyChocolateDiet wrote: »
    Just go and don't do anything that burns your bridges. That includes indulging in the crush, divulging the crush, or crushing your boss. If your boss is as cool as you think he is and you leave as gracefully as possible not crossing any boundaries he may be open to re-hiring you if as ppl here have hinted the new environment doesn't justify the perks.

    I've been re-hired in the past after thinking the grass was greener only to find it was smelly as fertilizer after all. It can happen.

    Yes
  • grangerka
    grangerka Posts: 21 Member
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    Thanks everybody for the advice. Here it is - Monday again - I'm feeling much better and (almost) ready to make a decision ;)
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    grangerka wrote: »
    Does it always really come down to a man?!

    This is why men have rule the world. Certain natural and biological (and social) mandates enforce this.

  • SuperSnoopy
    SuperSnoopy Posts: 3,464 Member
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    But is that correct, should it be like that in this day and age?
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,407 Member
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    grangerka wrote: »
    fitmap73 wrote: »
    Take the new job. You're married and already too emotionally attached to your boss. It's time to go, and be happy you've got a great new offer.

    That's what my rational side is telling me to do! screaming even.

    Because you don't want your marriage to suffer, which may already be the cae because you are spending a part of your emotional energy on this guy, which means hubby isn't getting his rightful share.
  • Soopatt
    Soopatt Posts: 563 Member
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    I would go to the new job if I were in your shoes - not because I would find it easy to walk away from a great working relationship but because I think you are hinging too much on that. What if your current boss goes somewhere else or gets promoted and you no longer work together? Then you gave up a great opportunity for something that you have no idea would last. Also, ask yourself, would he (your boss) give up a great career move for you? I am going with no.

    Seeing as gender is already in this discussion, I think it is far more likely that a women will hitch her wagon to a man than vice versa. I think that is a pity.

    You had a great season, but move on and make great new connections. Back yourself that you can get on with anyone.

    There is no judgment in this. I have wanted to jump the bones of many a boss of mine and I don't think its an issue if it stays in your head - but I moved on when the right opportunities came along. I separated fantasy from reality.
  • Mr_Stabbems
    Mr_Stabbems Posts: 4,773 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Soopatt wrote: »
    I would go to the new job if I were in your shoes - not because I would find it easy to walk away from a great working relationship but because I think you are hinging too much on that. What if your current boss goes somewhere else or gets promoted and you no longer work together? Then you gave up a great opportunity for something that you have no idea would last. Also, ask yourself, would he (your boss) give up a great career move for you? I am going with no.

    Seeing as gender is already in this discussion, I think it is far more likely that a women will hitch her wagon to a man than vice versa. I think that is a pity.

    You had a great season, but move on and make great new connections. Back yourself that you can get on with anyone.

    There is no judgment in this. I have wanted to jump the bones of many a boss of mine and I don't think its an issue if it stays in your head - but I moved on when the right opportunities came along. I separated fantasy from reality.

    Good points, good dress/costume.

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