Fears about the journey
Livgetfit
Posts: 352 Member
I wonder if some of you might share with me that inner dialogue of fears you have felt along this journey? What worried you? Were these things realised and conquered? Were they unnecessary and if so, how did you come to know that & work passed it? Do any still linger? If so, how do you handle them?
I fear the nastiness I've had from family when I have lost weight in the past. Particularly one person who I have a complex relationship with. She has never thought anything of making snide remarks which from anyone else would mean nothing, but from her cut me deep.
I fear loose skin.
I worry about learning to love and accept a better version of myself. As a result, I worry about the weight coming back.
I worry that I'm obsessive and it will get out of control.
Yes, I'm a stresser.
I fear the nastiness I've had from family when I have lost weight in the past. Particularly one person who I have a complex relationship with. She has never thought anything of making snide remarks which from anyone else would mean nothing, but from her cut me deep.
I fear loose skin.
I worry about learning to love and accept a better version of myself. As a result, I worry about the weight coming back.
I worry that I'm obsessive and it will get out of control.
Yes, I'm a stresser.
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I'm worried that I'll become attractive.
Therapy helps though
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Biggest fear from most that I sense, but never hear is fear of success. Lots of people get so close, then bomb because subconsciously if they get to goal, they are now EXPECTED to keep it there. And just one bad day have many falling back and quitting or succumbing to the adage of "it's just too much to do" and revert to weight regain.
Fear is natural. So are people who will opine on what they think you should be doing. Realize they do it because of their own concerns and really not yours. You'll ALWAYS fight opposition regardless if you get there or not. That's just life.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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I worried for the longest time about my family's support, or lack thereof. It doesn't matter what I'm trying, I'm doing it wrong. I finally took a good, long, hard look at the relationships and decided that I don't benefit anything by letting them get to me, and realized the only way their opinions are going to stop is if I stop telling them my goals. It's been hard, as the support I thought I would have is non existent, but I've found it elsewhere. Sometimes in places I didn't expect. You have to do you. Don't tell them your goals. Don't tell them what you're doing. And when they ask, just say something vague like "Oh, I'm just moving more and eating less, you know". And change the subject. Leave the room if they won't let up on it. I've been told I've become a bit of a *kitten*, but I'm getting to be a skinnier *kitten*!!
Sorry, that was kind of a rant.
And I still fear the loose skin.
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Biggest fear from most that I sense, but never hear is fear of success.
This...but not because of the expectation of keeping it off.
I fear the loss of being able to hide behind that wall of fat...it will take away one of my biggest excuses to not try other things.
I have often sabotaged myself as if I am afraid of success. Last year I lost 80lbs...only between 15-20 left to lose. I threw in the towel and gained more than half of it back. Here I am again...trying to not only lose again but to finish this time. I have had to come back with a different mind set. This time it is not as much about losing the weight as it is about reaching that goal.
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The one thing you don't seem to fear is staying fat.
Until that fear is larger than the other fears, it's probably going to be a rough slog for you.
Good luck! :drinker:
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Not so much fear, but embracing change permanently
It is a life long lifestyle change!
But you can do it
You can embrace the new you and love yourself!
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fear of calling it a journey on the forums. seriously, people go nuts over that word. oh and also, being able to keep it off.0
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crazyjerseygirl wrote: »I'm worried that I'll become attractive.
Therapy helps though
This.
Basically, fear of getting more attention used to be an issue I struggled with, as well as simply fear of losing my excuse for being unhappy, for not doing various things. A bigger issue was trying and failing, since to try I'd have to admit to myself (and maybe others, if they noticed I was losing) that I wanted to lose weight, that I did care.
But I was far more scared of continuing to be fat and not living the life I wanted to than any of that, which is why I (finally) decided to take action.0 -
I fear I won't learn to cook healthy foods so they taste good.... making me turn back to unhealthy meals as the normal.
I fear my child will be over weight, which of course I cannot control anyhow... plus his dad is one of those lucky people that was born with a 6 pack and can eat anything he wants and not worry. (so far) So this fear may be completely null and void by the time he grows into a man.0 -
None, do it or dont do it. If i had any fear it was that I had let myself put on weight which made me a lot more at risk of things like cancer, heart attack , diabetes and stroke. I look at lots of your fears and tbh am a little nemused becayse my mindset is completely different. Id suggest you get some therapy and change yours, some self esttem or confidence calsses wouldnt do any harm.
1. Why do you value the opinion of snidey person when shes not very nice or helpful? Ignore her. All the more silly when losing weight will be good for you.
2. Loose skin happens, as a young person your skin will be more elastic. You dont have that much to lose so its a fear in your head and unlikely to turn out that way. Worry about it if it makes you feel better but a waste of time. healthy and a bit of loose skin is better than unhealthy and fat.
3. Being unable to accept yourself is just an excuse.
4. If you are worried abiut it coming back then take steps to ensure it does not. Dont be a victim.
5. Worrying about things that might never happen is a waste of time. By not starting then you are building up a whole raft of excuses to avoid commiting. Its up to you, uts straightforward and possible. If you dont and you wnat to then you choose to stay where you are, its 100% your choice.
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Having gained and lost the same 40+ pounds twice, uh....yeah I fear it coming back. I fear that I hit a number, a body fat percentage, a whatever standard I had drummed up in my head, only to get there and realize that I'm still the same person I was before, only slimmer. I fear that I'm delusional to the point of believing that being thin means being emotionally secure. I fear that it may not be enough, and I fear that if I don't get out there and do more (whether it's running races, obstacle courses, 5k's, running stairs) that I'll fall into those same habits that got me all chunked out in the first place. I fear that changing the physical doesn't change the emotional aspect of my life......and really, it doesn't......so now I fear where I'm going from here \m/0
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I've been overweight for so long (all my life, it seems) that I fear not feeling like myself anymore after I lose the amount of weight I need to (approx. 110-120lbs altogether). Unlike some other people who are losing weight, I'm perfectly happy with myself and my body and I like who I am - I just want to be healthier. But I've identified myself as "the big girl" for so long (I'm also 5'11") that sometimes I feel like I'm not sure who I'll be when I'm just "the tall girl"... I'm sure I'll be able to work through it though, and I am not opposed to meeting with a therapist if I feel that will help.0
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My biggest fear is that I will always see me at my biggest weight in the mirror -- no matter how much weight I lose. That's a constant struggle for me.0
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My biggest fear is failing to make it to my goal. After I get there, I'll tell you if any new fears come up.0
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Fear of getting comfortable when I reach my goal and gaining it all back, like I've done in the past.0
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The one thing you don't seem to fear is staying fat.
Until that fear is larger than the other fears, it's probably going to be a rough slog for you.
Good luck! :drinker:
Evidently I do fear it, otherwise I would not be down 12kg. I titled this fear of the journey because I am well and truly on it. Why would I be afraid of "staying fat" when there is no possibility of that being the case?
It is not a "rough slog" for me but thank you ever so much for your negativity.0 -
MistressPi wrote: »
Thank you0 -
jackpotclown wrote: »
I also have a fear of people calling it a "journey."0 -
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My biggest fear is when I lose all the weight, reach all my goals, and get back to a good fitness level...
I'll get run over by a Domino's pizza guy and die on impact...LOL0 -
When I get below about 210, it becomes much more obvious that my face is uneven/unsymmetrical. I've had brain surgery, so my head was taken apart and put back together. I have an indentation along one of the incision lines under the skin and some of the screws used to hold my skull back together stick out.
From certain angles, it looks BAD. It bothers me way more than it should. I worry about what it would look like if I could ever get closer to my goal weight.0 -
Before I started, I wondered if it was going to be possible to lose the weight. I wondered if what so many told me was true ... that once you get into perimenopause, you won't be able to lose weight. I've always maintained that was nonsense ... that you should be able to lose weight at any age ... but what if "they" were right after all! And the thing is, it was when I hit perimenopause that I put the weight on. Maybe there was a connection.
Happily ... "they" were not right. I've lost 15 kg reasonably quickly and easily.
I am also concerned about keeping it off. I have spent most of my life slender, well within the normal BMI range. Gaining weight was new to me. But I see so many people who work hard to lose the weight ... and then put it all back on several months later. And I do like to eat! The reason I have spent most of my life slender was because I have also spent most of my life very active so I could eat whatever I wanted and would burn it off. But now that I am getting a little bit older, my activity level has dropped off somewhat so I can't eat so much anymore. The trouble is, I can easily envision a time where I say, "Oh forget it ... I'm having the Tiramisu!"0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »When I get below about 210, it becomes much more obvious that my face is uneven/unsymmetrical. I've had brain surgery, so my head was taken apart and put back together. I have an indentation along one of the incision lines under the skin and some of the screws used to hold my skull back together stick out.
From certain angles, it looks BAD. It bothers me way more than it should. I worry about what it would look like if I could ever get closer to my goal weight.
I can relate to this in some ways. Several years ago I injured myself in a way that left my stomach muscles in shreds. As a result I have a few hernias that have grown in size...one quite large.
At my heaviest the fat helped to cover them up somewhat. As I lose weight they become more pronounced. I admit...I hate it and at times find it quite embarrassing. I am 62 and look like I am about 6 months pregnant.
I am learning to live with that. I stand and look at myself in the mirror trying to learn to love myself...hernias and all. That is the first step. The next step is learning to buy clothes that fit instead of 2 or 3 sizes larger to cover up my stomach. I look now for clothes in the right size that is cut in a way to help conceal instead of hide...if that makes sense.
The one thing that I have had to ask myself (over and over) is would I rather deal with the fat and the health issues or learn to accept that this is the body that I have.
Just to add...I get discouraged trying to exercise. So many exercises require a strong core...which I don't have and never will. I work upper body...lower body...but having a weak core keeps me from progressing at times. I have to keep pushing myself not to give up and go back to being a couch potato.
Thanks for sharing your "fear".
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My biggest worry is that I've lost it all for nothing and my health will deteriorate. Because if it doesn't help, then what the hell was the point of skipping all that delicious food? I'd be so mad if I did all of this too late and for no reason. All the other worries pale in comparison and are trivial worries.
I worried about loose skin a little, now I have some and worry more about how bad it will look when I'm done. It's so very gross, the way it hangs. My butt, especially is scary and my thighs are hideous. What the heck will thirty or forty more pounds do?? Eek.
I worry a lot about regaining, but as time goes on, I worry less. I really have made lifestyle changes and I was never eating feelings, anyway, so it's not like I'd go back to it. It's just something to keep an eye out for.
If weight loss gets ridiculously hard, that will be the end. I'm a little vain, but not vain enough to knock myself out over five or ten pounds. But I'd like to be nice and thin, so there is a little worry that it'll get too hard to lose before I reach the look I want.
I have been having trouble seeing myself in this less-fat body, but I think that just takes time. Tiny worry that I'll never get comfortable with being thin. Fat is all I've ever known as an adult, though, so I'm banking on the fact that I just need more time.0 -
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As a comment for future: If you're fearing loose skin, look into donating it. I know a place around here will accept donations of skin for burn victims. Don't know if your area does that, but if they do, then loose skin shouldn't be feared anymore.0
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