Accepting a thicker lower body?

artlover47
artlover47 Posts: 76 Member
edited November 21 in Health and Weight Loss
I am just a few pounds away from my goal weight after losing over 105 pounds throughout the course of seven years (progress was sidetracked by foot surgery, and two pregnancies/ breastfeeding), but my upper body is much thinner than my lower body. My current BMI is 21.5. I had anticipated more of an overall loss in fat even though I expected my legs would be my toughest area to slim down. I can now see my spine, shoulder bones, ribs, and my shoulder blades look "sharp." I am starting to get comments about being too "bony" up top. I am not large now...I presently wear a US size 4 because my waist and hips are no longer big, and I anticipate being a size 2 when I am through losing. However, my thighs and calves are still heavier than I'd like. If I thought that lowering my goal weight another five pounds would fix this - that it would all come off my lower body, then that would be fine, but that may not be the case as I'm aware you can't spot reduce or pick where you lose your weight. My wrists have always been much smaller than my ankles, relatively (wrists measure for small frame, ankles for larger frame) so my overall bone structure seems slightly unbalanced top to bottom anyway.

Here's the issue: At what point do I just accept that my body is going to be disporportionate and switch to maintainence? I feel like if I keep lowering my body fat, eventaully the legs will get to a size where I am satisfied, and I am OK with dropping a few more pounds. Yet those who see me everyday are begininng to worry about my upper body looking skeletal, and that's NOT the look I am trying to achieve. I'm not looking for advice on how to eat or exercise, just wondering if anyone else has a similar body type, and how you handled when to stop losing? At what BMI or body fat level did you see your legs finally get small if you are a pear shaped woman? Or did you embrace your stockier lower body shape?
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Replies

  • slaite1
    slaite1 Posts: 1,307 Member
    I lift weights. It is the only thing that has tightened up the look of my lower body-and helped to even out my overall shape. Even when I am very lean I have thicker legs. Years of lifting has shifted my view to embrace them.

    I get to have abs even when I'm heavier than I like, and my legs get this awesome curve to the quads when I'm on a cut. The BF loves them-and we consider my abs and booty a trade off for when I get lean and have zero boobs :smile: Embrace the thighs!
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    Why not lower it another 5 pounds (or whatever) and see instead of speculating?

    I'm sure it'd be pretty easy to bulk back up if you don't like it.

    BTW, my legs were first to go. Ended up looking like this guy for a while (round gut, no legs)

    hanker_for_a_hunk_o___cheese_by_coolhand_locke.jpg


  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I'm for embracing. I've hit menopause and I've read that the fat redistributes to the belly. I'm pretty sure I'm not exempt from that. It seems to me a body that is thicker below would be great for running, cycling, balancing, and leaping.

    Try spending some time gazing at your body with an uncritical eye, appreciating all the things it can do.

    Classic beauties all look the same but outlying beauties are lovely each in their own way. And are much more memorable.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    it sounds like youre a classic pear shape and theres not much you can do about that LOL

    if the issue is fat, you can lose it, but if its body SHAPE - you only have your genetics to thank. My lower half always has been, and always will be a size larger (sometimes 2! LOL) than my top half just due to bone structure. the only time they were the same size was when i weighed 250 pounds. ill pass on that, thanks. ;)

    its not like anyone cares. LOL
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
    I agree with the psoet above- you sound like a classic pear-shape. You are in good company- Beyonce is a pear shape and considered extreamly sexy- also Kera Knightly is pear-shape too, just at a much lower body weight. So I'd say embrace your shape. It would'nt hurt to drop a few more pounds to see the effect- and if you don't liek it you cab always regain the weight.
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  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Do you lift? Thought of a body recomp?
  • canary_girl
    canary_girl Posts: 366 Member
    I am slightly heavier than you and have a similar body size. When I lose weight the first to go is my waist, next is upper body. I lift heavy and have found that weights have broadened my shoulders a bit giving me a more hourglass shape. Embrace it, I think it's hot.
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
    As an apple, I also say another argument for acceptance is that a pear distribution is a relatively healthy distribution. I think there are a lot of costs to seeking some ideal, it's like trying to wedge a square peg into a triangle hole.
  • Francine_rivas
    Francine_rivas Posts: 77 Member
    It's better than having a big belly and no legs. Embrace it!
  • ExRelaySprinter
    ExRelaySprinter Posts: 874 Member
    edited July 2015
    I am slightly heavier than you and have a similar body size. When I lose weight the first to go is my waist, next is upper body. I lift heavy and have found that weights have broadened my shoulders a bit giving me a more hourglass shape. Embrace it, I think it's hot.
    Yes, this^^.
    I'm a Pear too but have quite broad shoulders, so when looking at me - i don't really look Pear shaped.
    As others have said, maybe do some weightlifting to broaden your shoulders and try to incorporate some Lunges and Squats, to firm up your Legs.
  • artlover47
    artlover47 Posts: 76 Member
    Luckily, I look fairly hourglass shape except for the thighs. My hips slimmed down well. I am going to go ahead and try losing down to 115 and see what it looks like... I agree that gaining a bit back would be easy! LOL. As far as lifting, I talked to a trainer a my local gym and she advised me to wait until I get to my maintainence weight before I start lifting or using weight machines so that I won't be discouraged with a stall or a gain. She told me to give it a month, and call her on August 15 to see where I am. I do plan to try lifting, though, I have been reading up on it some. Thanks, all - we'll see how 115 looks.
  • bbontheb
    bbontheb Posts: 718 Member
    Looked at your pics and think you look fabulous! I'm way over weight still but am 5'2, and used to be about 115 before kids. I was always bottom heavy (bigger thighs, calves (like gigantic), an hips) I look weight up around my neck first etc. Interesting to read the comments here because I think I may be in the same boat. I'm trying to focus on being okay with it-it's much better than where I am coming from (204 at 5'2). May I ask how you find out about ankle size vs wrist size (small/large frame)?
  • TeaBea
    TeaBea Posts: 14,517 Member
    artlover47 wrote: »
    I am just a few pounds away from my goal weight after losing over 105 pounds throughout the course of seven years (progress was sidetracked by foot surgery, and two pregnancies/ breastfeeding), but my upper body is much thinner than my lower body. My current BMI is 21.5. I had anticipated more of an overall loss in fat even though I expected my legs would be my toughest area to slim down. I can now see my spine, shoulder bones, ribs, and my shoulder blades look "sharp." I am starting to get comments about being too "bony" up top. I am not large now...I presently wear a US size 4 because my waist and hips are no longer big, and I anticipate being a size 2 when I am through losing. However, my thighs and calves are still heavier than I'd like. If I thought that lowering my goal weight another five pounds would fix this - that it would all come off my lower body, then that would be fine, but that may not be the case as I'm aware you can't spot reduce or pick where you lose your weight. My wrists have always been much smaller than my ankles, relatively (wrists measure for small frame, ankles for larger frame) so my overall bone structure seems slightly unbalanced top to bottom anyway.

    Here's the issue: At what point do I just accept that my body is going to be disporportionate and switch to maintainence? I feel like if I keep lowering my body fat, eventaully the legs will get to a size where I am satisfied, and I am OK with dropping a few more pounds. Yet those who see me everyday are begininng to worry about my upper body looking skeletal, and that's NOT the look I am trying to achieve. I'm not looking for advice on how to eat or exercise, just wondering if anyone else has a similar body type, and how you handled when to stop losing? At what BMI or body fat level did you see your legs finally get small if you are a pear shaped woman? Or did you embrace your stockier lower body shape?

    This is ME

    I have been 106 pounds (5'5" tall) in search of the ever allusive "slim thighs." Even my face was skinny. I have to accept that I will never have slim thighs. I'm a pear. Some women are just like that. It does make maintenance much harder. Pick a weight you can live with. Strength train to firm up what you can. I'm older so I strength train before goal...I can't afford to lose more lean muscle.
  • berriboobear
    berriboobear Posts: 524 Member
    shell1005 wrote: »
    I have thicker legs, always have. You know what else I have, strong legs. I will admit I sometimes look at some other women wearing their cute little sundresses with their cute little legs and have a little pity party, but it's fleeting. My legs get me where I need to go. I also know that since I am sitting pretty at my goal weight....it's not fat (at least not much), it's the way my legs are shaped. I have strong, thick thighs. I have big, strong ankles.

    However, I am also continuing to work on my legs. I have noticed a change in the last few months as I have lost weight. I've also noticed a change because I am running 20+ miles a week. My legs are showing the work I am making them do. I don't think I'll ever have those legs of those girls in the pretty sundresses, but I can have the best legs that my mama gave me.


    This. It's so easy to compare myself to others, and I do it more often than I realize. While I'm still learning to accept myself (we all have those down moments), I have also come to terms that my natural shape is more thick on the bottom. I still have fat to lose, so I'm working on that... but jeans have always been a headache. Those waist and thigh measurements just don't work for me, haha!

    Self-love. Embracing and working it to the best you can <3
  • jessicarobinson00
    jessicarobinson00 Posts: 414 Member
    Even after I hit maintenance, my body continued to change shape for months. Your body will need to adjust to the "new you," so don't fret. You may be pleasantly surprised. :)
  • limitles
    limitles Posts: 39 Member
    I am also pear shaped. I don't really have hips anymore, but all the booty and thighs.
    I'm close to goal now, have abs and great shoulders, the thighs don't change much,
    I'm a size 8 in pants and a size 2-4 in shirts.

    Lifting will definitely help you. I have increased my shoulders and arms and look
    much more balanced than before. I would encourage you to start now and learn
    the basics with good form; squat, bench press, shoulder press, row, deadlift.
    Find a good program.

    The bad: Your legs will probably never get slim. I have big ankles, big calves, big
    thighs. I find that everything gets smaller, so they always look large in comparison
    to the rest of me.

    The good: Your upper body will balance you better and adding muscle will make you
    look less skeletal at smaller sizes. You can add muscle to your lower body which
    will make it look better despite the size. You will get strong and look more fit!
  • pmm3437
    pmm3437 Posts: 529 Member
    So, you've been losing but not lifting even for muscle sparing reasons. You've most likely lost mass due to this, and in all probability that loss was disproportionate, since we typically perform more work with our lower bodies than our upper bodies, during normal daily activity.

    Sadly, the damage is already done ... waiting another month wont change that. But there isn't any reason to wait either. You know the landscape, and I doubt a couple lb. fluctuation is gonna throw you off track.You've only got 3 lbs. to go to reach goal, you could probably reach that in a week just by forcing less water retention ( less sodium, fewer carbs ).

    Eat at maintenance and train for a couple months, I'm pretty sure you'll see and like the improvement, and you can still make it into that size 2.
  • artlover47
    artlover47 Posts: 76 Member
    I do 5 lb hand weight exercises occasionally, and things where I lift my own body weight, but mainly I lift my toddler girls all day! I also push them on hills in a double stroller which works my arms and back as well. I personally don't mind my upper body - it is the other people who are bothered by it. My husband thinks I look fine, and he's the main one I trust to tell me when to stop or what needs improving. I'm pleased with my shape except for the thighs, and I honestly think the extra weight loss will see another inch to inch and a half come off my legs which may be all I need to feel OK with them. I'm mainly interested in the weight training for the health benefits of more muscle, not so much the look. I don't aspire to look super muscular. I may wait to start the weights because I'd liketo figure out my "normal" maintenance calories as a baseline before I start adding calories for lifting. I am also not going to switch to a high protein diet. I actually do organic farming, so I eat tons of fruit and veggies that I grow. I am not changing that. I'm happy with my macros and they work for me. As far as losing muscle mass, I could've stood to lose some - I am smaller now and don't need as much muscle to move my body as I used to! Sorry - I don't buy into the idea that lifting is the only way to be fit. Thanks for all the input, though.

    As far as the frame measurements, just google it and find some online calculators. I tried several different ones, as some ask for more detailed measurements than others. The ones that only ask for height, weight, wrist or elbow measurements and sometimes waist always put me at small frame because they are only factoring my smaller upper body. The ones that look at more body parts are more accurate for me. Same on body fat calculators.
  • adriaticsea
    adriaticsea Posts: 20 Member
    shell1005 wrote: »
    I have thicker legs, always have. You know what else I have, strong legs. I will admit I sometimes look at some other women wearing their cute little sundresses with their cute little legs and have a little pity party, but it's fleeting. My legs get me where I need to go. I also know that since I am sitting pretty at my goal weight....it's not fat (at least not much), it's the way my legs are shaped. I have strong, thick thighs. I have big, strong ankles.

    However, I am also continuing to work on my legs. I have noticed a change in the last few months as I have lost weight. I've also noticed a change because I am running 20+ miles a week. My legs are showing the work I am making them do. I don't think I'll ever have those legs of those girls in the pretty sundresses, but I can have the best legs that my mama gave me.


    This. It's so easy to compare myself to others, and I do it more often than I realize. While I'm still learning to accept myself (we all have those down moments), I have also come to terms that my natural shape is more thick on the bottom. I still have fat to lose, so I'm working on that... but jeans have always been a headache. Those waist and thigh measurements just don't work for me, haha!

    Self-love. Embracing and working it to the best you can <3

    Oh I can definitely relate in re to the jeans issue! Self-love all the way!
  • WestCoastJo82
    WestCoastJo82 Posts: 2,304 Member
    artlover47 wrote: »
    I do 5 lb hand weight exercises occasionally, and things where I lift my own body weight, but mainly I lift my toddler girls all day! I also push them on hills in a double stroller which works my arms and back as well. I personally don't mind my upper body - it is the other people who are bothered by it. My husband thinks I look fine, and he's the main one I trust to tell me when to stop or what needs improving. I'm pleased with my shape except for the thighs, and I honestly think the extra weight loss will see another inch to inch and a half come off my legs which may be all I need to feel OK with them. I'm mainly interested in the weight training for the health benefits of more muscle, not so much the look. I don't aspire to look super muscular. I may wait to start the weights because I'd liketo figure out my "normal" maintenance calories as a baseline before I start adding calories for lifting. I am also not going to switch to a high protein diet. I actually do organic farming, so I eat tons of fruit and veggies that I grow. I am not changing that. I'm happy with my macros and they work for me. As far as losing muscle mass, I could've stood to lose some - I am smaller now and don't need as much muscle to move my body as I used to! Sorry - I don't buy into the idea that lifting is the only way to be fit. Thanks for all the input, though.

    As far as the frame measurements, just google it and find some online calculators. I tried several different ones, as some ask for more detailed measurements than others. The ones that only ask for height, weight, wrist or elbow measurements and sometimes waist always put me at small frame because they are only factoring my smaller upper body. The ones that look at more body parts are more accurate for me. Same on body fat calculators.

    I don't think the bolded is what people are saying, though. I think they are saying they had a similar problem to you and found lifting helped them re-shape their bodies. @ILiftHeavyAcrylics did a blog post where she described essentially your same issue - her top was getting too thin, but wasn't happy with her bottom half. I'd encourage you to check it out.
    If you are sure that you don't want to change anything that you are doing, then it sounds like practicing some self-love/embracing your bottom half will be what you need.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    I'm on the border of an overweight BMI and people are already started to feign shock that I have more to lose. People tend to get crazy and say we are thinner than we are. I think they think it's some kind of compliment.

    If you're not sure whether or not you should keep losing, ask the doctor. They'll always tell you how low is too low.

    My hips and thighs seem to lose slower than the rest of me. If it turns out that I must accept additional weight there, then I guess I'll have to...but is don't want to! I didn't come this fat to be chunky! I want thin. What I get may not be what I want, though.

    Do your best and then suck it up and deal. That's kind of my motto.

    Can't do better than your best! :)
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited July 2015
    I'm a pear - if all you do is lose more weight - enough to drop an inch from your thighs - your upper half will be super scrawny, and you'll still probably have fat on your legs. That was my experience when I was at a BMI of 19 (and didn't do much resistance training).

    No one's saying you need to look like a pro bodybuilder, if you don't want to. You can be selective about how much you work on your muscles. You can just build up enough to give your legs shape, and stop when you're happy with the result. It's going to look like what you might call "toned", that's all. (This is a good resource if that's your aim.) Bonus is, your bones will thank you.

    I think the time to accept your shape is now, though. Because even if you do what's recommended in the post I linked to, you're still going to be a pear, just a "toned" one.
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
    In my opinion the pear shape is most flattering. I wish you'd love it more on yourself. My waist is 28.5" and my hips are 42" and I honestly love it because it makes me feel feminine. If only I could lose the 14" arms and a little more on my waist I'd be happy. You have come such an amazingly long way and should see how awesome you are! I'd kill for your problems lol but to each their own. I wouldn't try to lose any more weight if I were you and just go to maintaining your cw while doing heavy lifting in the gym to try to tighten up your legs if they really bother you.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited July 2015
    artlover47 wrote: »
    Luckily, I look fairly hourglass shape except for the thighs. My hips slimmed down well. I am going to go ahead and try losing down to 115 and see what it looks like... I agree that gaining a bit back would be easy! LOL. As far as lifting, I talked to a trainer at my local gym and she advised me to wait until I get to my maintainence weight before I start lifting or using weight machines so that I won't be discouraged with a stall or a gain. She told me to give it a month, and call her on August 15 to see where I am. I do plan to try lifting, though, I have been reading up on it some. Thanks, all - we'll see how 115 looks.

    Waiting to hit maintenance before starting to lift is rather bizarre advice. I'd use another trainer.

    Congrats at being 5 # away from goal!

  • KimmyKicksAss
    KimmyKicksAss Posts: 60 Member
    tomatoey wrote: »
    You can just build up enough to give your legs shape, and stop when you're happy with the result. It's going to look like what you might call "toned", that's all. (This is a good resource if that's your aim.) Bonus is, your bones will thank you.

    That link was pure gold! Thank you so much!!! (and thanks for the 2 hour tangent I found myself in and worth not cleaning the house =P )

  • Jocampgrl
    Jocampgrl Posts: 59 Member
    shell1005 wrote: »
    I have thicker legs, always have. You know what else I have, strong legs. I will admit I sometimes look at some other women wearing their cute little sundresses with their cute little legs and have a little pity party, but it's fleeting. My legs get me where I need to go. I also know that since I am sitting pretty at my goal weight....it's not fat (at least not much), it's the way my legs are shaped. I have strong, thick thighs. I have big, strong ankles.

    However, I am also continuing to work on my legs. I have noticed a change in the last few months as I have lost weight. I've also noticed a change because I am running 20+ miles a week. My legs are showing the work I am making them do. I don't think I'll ever have those legs of those girls in the pretty sundresses, but I can have the best legs that my mama gave me.

    this is true for me also. sometimes i get down on my shape and was known as the "girl with big legs" in school but i rarely get sprained ankles, can backpack with the best of them, and am pretty tough. Would i love to have a smaller bottom half? sometimes. I try to focus on making sure my legs are strong and not just big and this definitely helps me be at peace with my legs.
  • thingofstuff
    thingofstuff Posts: 93 Member
    I am a 5'7.5" pencil/pear with with tiny wrists, ankles, and calves and am pretty small everywhere else EXCEPT my butt and thighs. I've managed to book jobs as a runway model for the last 4 years despite having major booty and thighs in comparison to the vast majority of girls in this industry. It doesn't matter how thin I get, my hips are always around 38-37" instead of the industry standard of 35", and I have come to accept that. I have found that strength training defs tones and tightens, but 25 normal squats a day, on top of whatever else you do, is kind of an easy, simple, and fast way to incorporate butt and thigh maintenance in a crazy busy life and can be done at home (even right before you get in the shower). I'm a cardio fanatic and will jazzercise the house down over strength training any day. Short story long, work to tone, but don't fight your nature. It's a battle you cannot win and will only destroy yourself in futile struggle if you keep losing weight just to shrink your thighs.
  • SunnyPacheco
    SunnyPacheco Posts: 142 Member
    shell1005 wrote: »
    I have thicker legs, always have. You know what else I have, strong legs. I will admit I sometimes look at some other women wearing their cute little sundresses with their cute little legs and have a little pity party, but it's fleeting. My legs get me where I need to go. I also know that since I am sitting pretty at my goal weight....it's not fat (at least not much), it's the way my legs are shaped. I have strong, thick thighs. I have big, strong ankles.

    However, I am also continuing to work on my legs. I have noticed a change in the last few months as I have lost weight. I've also noticed a change because I am running 20+ miles a week. My legs are showing the work I am making them do. I don't think I'll ever have those legs of those girls in the pretty sundresses, but I can have the best legs that my mama gave me.


    This. It's so easy to compare myself to others, and I do it more often than I realize. While I'm still learning to accept myself (we all have those down moments), I have also come to terms that my natural shape is more thick on the bottom. I still have fat to lose, so I'm working on that... but jeans have always been a headache. Those waist and thigh measurements just don't work for me, haha!

    Self-love. Embracing and working it to the best you can <3

    Oh I can definitely relate in re to the jeans issue! Self-love all the way!

    +1
    I've always had a smaller waist and wider hips/thicker thighs. Jeans have always been a problem. Either too big in the waist or too small in the legs. Since I've started weight training I've actually been trying to grow my booty and the legs grow right along with it. I'll probably never be able to find jeans that fit now lol. Working on growing my shoulders helps even out my proportions though and I'm loving how my body is looking these days! Just embrace your curves!
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    Do you even lift? Thought of a body recomp?

    FIFY

    ^^^thats what you need to do ....compound progressive lifting IMO
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