binge eating pen pal??
estherssweater
Posts: 8 Member
Hello. Anyone struggling with bulimia and or binge eating disorders, I would love if we could be each others pen pals or something? I know I really need the help too:c
Thanks xx
Thanks xx
1
Replies
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Hi I Would be interested!0
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Guys I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea without a professional
Eating disordered thinking needs to be surrounded by "normal thinking"
You risk reinforcing each other's issues3 -
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Guys I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea without a professional
Eating disordered thinking needs to be surrounded by "normal thinking"
You risk reinforcing each other's issues
Yes, big time.
OP, if you are practicing binge eating and/or bulimia, you need to get professional help, including therapy.1 -
Guys I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea without a professional
Eating disordered thinking needs to be surrounded by "normal thinking"
You risk reinforcing each other's issues
Yes, big time.
OP, if you are practicing binge eating and/or bulimia, you need to get professional help, including therapy.
Therapy doesn't help. I tried and I always predict and over think what they're are going to say. It's so hard guys:( Thank you.0 -
estherssweater wrote: »Guys I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea without a professional
Eating disordered thinking needs to be surrounded by "normal thinking"
You risk reinforcing each other's issues
Yes, big time.
OP, if you are practicing binge eating and/or bulimia, you need to get professional help, including therapy.
Therapy doesn't help. I tried and I always predict and over think what they're are going to say. It's so hard guys:( Thank you.
Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist and possibly trying medication? I agree with rabbit-PMing each other about your binges is bound to end in reinforcing behavior.
In the least, friend some people with healthier mindsets who will not encourage your bingeing and/or purging.1 -
Maybe they are just looking for people that they can relate. just like how people who over eat discuss weight loss progress. they need support from one another to encourage themselves to eat more and be healthy. I don't think this is a bad idea. As long as they arent reinforcing eachothers negative behaviors, just some encouragement to eat and not overcompensate for eating. i see this exactly the same as us overweight people discussing their weight loss journy, just with opposite goals.0
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Maybe they are just looking for people that they can relate. just like how people who over eat discuss weight loss progress. they need support from one another to encourage themselves to eat more and be healthy. I don't think this is a bad idea. As long as they arent reinforcing eachothers negative behaviors, just some encouragement to eat and not overcompensate for eating. i see this exactly the same as us overweight people discussing their weight loss journy, just with opposite goals.
Except OP specifically mentioned eating disorders-which is surely not the "opposite" of weight loss. There is a difference between the occasional binge and having BED or bulimia. She also mentioned she left therapy-so she is still in the disorder. Going to strongly disagree.1 -
Maybe they are just looking for people that they can relate. just like how people who over eat discuss weight loss progress. they need support from one another to encourage themselves to eat more and be healthy. I don't think this is a bad idea. As long as they arent reinforcing eachothers negative behaviors, just some encouragement to eat and not overcompensate for eating. i see this exactly the same as us overweight people discussing their weight loss journy, just with opposite goals.
No it's not the same thing at all. I strongly believe you are incorrect in seeing no issues in this1 -
estherssweater wrote: »Guys I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea without a professional
Eating disordered thinking needs to be surrounded by "normal thinking"
You risk reinforcing each other's issues
Yes, big time.
OP, if you are practicing binge eating and/or bulimia, you need to get professional help, including therapy.
Therapy doesn't help. I tried and I always predict and over think what they're are going to say. It's so hard guys:( Thank you.
Find a new therapist.1 -
I see it as the OP wanting to overcome her eating disorder with the support of other people in her similiar situation. Remember you don't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder. She is struggling with bulimia which is basically binge eating and then over compensation for the binge. you either force yourself to vomit or work out for a very long time (hours and hours and hours). You don't know what her weight is and what her goals are.
also what i meant by "opposite goals" was to gain weight. i was jumping to conclusions that she was underweight. Don't we all talk to similiar people with our same goals? I have more people looking to lose weight on my profile. and i see a lot of the strength trainers being friend with others who lift.
Again, I did not see the OP wanting a friend so they can promote eachothers binges but to overcome them instead.
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I see it as the OP wanting to overcome her eating disorder with the support of other people in her similiar situation. Remember you don't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder. She is struggling with bulimia which is basically binge eating and then over compensation for the binge. you either force yourself to vomit or work out for a very long time (hours and hours and hours). You don't know what her weight is and what her goals are.
also what i meant by "opposite goals" was to gain weight. i was jumping to conclusions that she was underweight. Don't we all talk to similiar people with our same goals? I have more people looking to lose weight on my profile. and i see a lot of the strength trainers being friend with others who lift.
Again, I did not see the OP wanting a friend so they can promote eachothers binges but to overcome them instead.
Again, though, there is a world of difference between general fitness people and general people trying to gain or lose weight. OP has an eating disorder. She may not be LOOKING for someone to reinforce her behavior-but chances are that is exactly what will happen.
Support groups, etc for people with EDs are supervised by a clinician. Having a diagnosed disorder changes the game a bit.
OP-I hope you consider some of what is being said here and try to get help again
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It actually really helps having someone to relate to instead of having to give a watered down version of yourr issues.2
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I see it as the OP wanting to overcome her eating disorder with the support of other people in her similiar situation. Remember you don't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder. She is struggling with bulimia which is basically binge eating and then over compensation for the binge. you either force yourself to vomit or work out for a very long time (hours and hours and hours). You don't know what her weight is and what her goals are.
also what i meant by "opposite goals" was to gain weight. i was jumping to conclusions that she was underweight. Don't we all talk to similiar people with our same goals? I have more people looking to lose weight on my profile. and i see a lot of the strength trainers being friend with others who lift.
Again, I did not see the OP wanting a friend so they can promote eachothers binges but to overcome them instead.
Again, though, there is a world of difference between general fitness people and general people trying to gain or lose weight. OP has an eating disorder. She may not be LOOKING for someone to reinforce her behavior-but chances are that is exactly what will happen.
Support groups, etc for people with EDs are supervised by a clinician. Having a diagnosed disorder changes the game a bit.
OP-I hope you consider some of what is being said here and try to get help again
That's true that support groups are supervised. I just felt like everyone was jumping down the OP's throat for the wrong reasons.
I think we all would like them to succeed and over come their disorders. 0 -
I agree with find a new therapist and maybe instead of a MFP group, try an "overeaters anonymous" or other disordered eating group with a moderator that knows how to guide you.0
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I see it as the OP wanting to overcome her eating disorder with the support of other people in her similiar situation. Remember you don't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder. She is struggling with bulimia which is basically binge eating and then over compensation for the binge. you either force yourself to vomit or work out for a very long time (hours and hours and hours). You don't know what her weight is and what her goals are.
also what i meant by "opposite goals" was to gain weight. i was jumping to conclusions that she was underweight. Don't we all talk to similiar people with our same goals? I have more people looking to lose weight on my profile. and i see a lot of the strength trainers being friend with others who lift.
Again, I did not see the OP wanting a friend so they can promote eachothers binges but to overcome them instead.
Again, though, there is a world of difference between general fitness people and general people trying to gain or lose weight. OP has an eating disorder. She may not be LOOKING for someone to reinforce her behavior-but chances are that is exactly what will happen.
Support groups, etc for people with EDs are supervised by a clinician. Having a diagnosed disorder changes the game a bit.
OP-I hope you consider some of what is being said here and try to get help again
That's true that support groups are supervised. I just felt like everyone was jumping down the OP's throat for the wrong reasons.
I think we all would like them to succeed and over come their disorders.
I'm sorry but where exactly do you see "jumping down throats" I only see concern and advice1 -
I see it as the OP wanting to overcome her eating disorder with the support of other people in her similiar situation. Remember you don't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder. She is struggling with bulimia which is basically binge eating and then over compensation for the binge. you either force yourself to vomit or work out for a very long time (hours and hours and hours). You don't know what her weight is and what her goals are.
also what i meant by "opposite goals" was to gain weight. i was jumping to conclusions that she was underweight. Don't we all talk to similiar people with our same goals? I have more people looking to lose weight on my profile. and i see a lot of the strength trainers being friend with others who lift.
Again, I did not see the OP wanting a friend so they can promote eachothers binges but to overcome them instead.
Again, though, there is a world of difference between general fitness people and general people trying to gain or lose weight. OP has an eating disorder. She may not be LOOKING for someone to reinforce her behavior-but chances are that is exactly what will happen.
Support groups, etc for people with EDs are supervised by a clinician. Having a diagnosed disorder changes the game a bit.
OP-I hope you consider some of what is being said here and try to get help again
That's true that support groups are supervised. I just felt like everyone was jumping down the OP's throat for the wrong reasons.
I think we all would like them to succeed and over come their disorders.
Feedback that goes against what someone asks is often seen in a negative light-particularly on public forums. No throat jumping-just honesty.0 -
estherssweater wrote: »Guys I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea without a professional
Eating disordered thinking needs to be surrounded by "normal thinking"
You risk reinforcing each other's issues
Yes, big time.
OP, if you are practicing binge eating and/or bulimia, you need to get professional help, including therapy.
Therapy doesn't help. I tried and I always predict and over think what they're are going to say. It's so hard guys:( Thank you.
How Yoga Can Help End Binge Eating
One breath at a time, end the suffering of binge-eating
...According to Juliano, yoga gives people the skills to stay with what they are feeling, rather than turning to food to escape. People who are obese or suffering from eating disorders have a tendency to dissociate from their bodies -- to choose not to feel what they are feeling when they are angry, anxious, or sad. Often, they turn to food to numb themselves. "There's this sense that I have to feel better right now, " Juliano says. "There is a complete intolerance of what is happening right now." This need to escape unpleasant feelings triggers a binge.
When you eat to escape what you are feeling, you lose touch with the experience of eating, as well. This is one reason binges can spiral out of control. "You have no understanding that you are full, way past full, into uncomfortable, because you're so out of it," Juliano explains. "You have no connection to what you're eating. You're eating a pint of ice cream and can't even taste it. Or you go to make yourself some toast and before you know it, half the loaf is gone."
Mindful yoga directly challenges the habit of dissociating from your body and your present-moment experience. "The whole point of yoga is to stay connected to your body. You learn it through practice, through breathing, and through breathing through the sensations."
Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201007/how-yoga-can-help-end-binge-eating0 -
Thank you.I can see where the concern is in reinforcing behavior. If you've never had an ED maybe you do not understand but it's not easy to just go to a new therapist or join a group. Everyone recovers in different ways, I am not comfortable being with a group of people & discussing my issues. A support group can always backfire because there could be someone thinner than you or with seemingly worse problems and you feel you don't deserve to be there,not worthy enough for help etc. Therapy..I just hate it so much! I don't want help from someone who went to school,got their PhD in psychology and now it's their "job" to help me. It makes me feel like a insignificant person who will be filed away at the end of the day. It never helped in the past anyways:c I WANT help with this ED I've been going through since I was 8 by someone who actually understands me. I'm not looking for reinforcement,just someone to msg when I feel like crap and want to binge and can tell me it's not worth it because it will only make me feel worse. Someone who needs the same friendship because they're going through it too.
I use to be severely underweight from restricting, I gained weight back from emotional eating after being treated badly at work. That's a horrible way to recover as it was not by choice, and now it's turned into this vicious cycle of binge is one things purge-restrict-binge and so on. Again, I am so greatful for the concern and also to cocoa1020 thank you for understanding... Trust me guys, there is nothing better than having a friend to talk to. Being on here is already helping0 -
I just see you on here like everyone else. We all have different goals on here. yes having the ED makes it a little more complicated but at the end of the day we are all here for the same reason and that is TO GET HEALTHY!!! We just have to take a different path. Some us need to walk on the weight loss path. Others need to gain weight.
I'm not sure if nutritionist help with ED's but why dont you try seeing one of them to help plan out meals and teach you a healthy way to eat?
You can always try looking for another psychologist. One that is more warm towards her patients and doesnt make you feel like another number/file. Remember there are good doctors and bad ones. You need to find one that is right for you. I'm sure there is one out there.
The important thing is that you reconize that you have a problem and you are working to get better. If you want you can add me as a friend go for it but I'll leave that up to you. Most of my status's are about losing weight and trying to control what I eat and exercising etc and I wouldn't want my status's to reinforce any negative behavior.
good luck 0 -
wow ..just wow
cant believe that people think its a good idea to stimulate 2 people who have a serious problem to support each other.
Really?0 -
TheOwlhouseDesigns wrote: »wow ..just wow
cant believe that people think its a good idea to stimulate 2 people who have a serious problem to support each other.
Really?
Agree0 -
estherssweater wrote: »Thank you.I can see where the concern is in reinforcing behavior. If you've never had an ED maybe you do not understand but it's not easy to just go to a new therapist or join a group. Everyone recovers in different ways, I am not comfortable being with a group of people & discussing my issues. A support group can always backfire because there could be someone thinner than you or with seemingly worse problems and you feel you don't deserve to be there,not worthy enough for help etc. Therapy..I just hate it so much! I don't want help from someone who went to school,got their PhD in psychology and now it's their "job" to help me. It makes me feel like a insignificant person who will be filed away at the end of the day. It never helped in the past anyways:c I WANT help with this ED I've been going through since I was 8 by someone who actually understands me. I'm not looking for reinforcement,just someone to msg when I feel like crap and want to binge and can tell me it's not worth it because it will only make me feel worse. Someone who needs the same friendship because they're going through it too.
I use to be severely underweight from restricting, I gained weight back from emotional eating after being treated badly at work. That's a horrible way to recover as it was not by choice, and now it's turned into this vicious cycle of binge is one things purge-restrict-binge and so on. Again, I am so greatful for the concern and also to cocoa1020 thank you for understanding... Trust me guys, there is nothing better than having a friend to talk to. Being on here is already helping
I hear you. I don't like therapy, either. I also hate the idea that someone HAS to listen to me. But you know what happens when I don't go? I get worse. And you know who calls me out on it? Someone who does NOT also have a mental health disorder.
No one is saying you are looking for reinforcement-I sincerely believe you have the best intentions. But when the bad times hit-you would be better served by a professional. Or, in the very least, someone without an ED.
Our minds are funny things-and it takes a lot of work to get better from any mental illness. We all do things we shouldn't do when our particular monkey is on our back. I know it's nice to have someone nice to relate to-but I also know how understanding and forgiveness can turn into enabling and triggering.
You're, of course, going to do what you want. But maybe just reflect on everything you said-and think about where it is coming from. Your ED is powerful, don't run away from those that want to help you.1 -
Instead of PMing people, why not join an eating disorder support group?
A list of support groups organized by state can be found here:
http://www.anad.org/eating-disorders-get-help/eating-disorders-support-groups/
There is also Eating Disorders Anonymous. They have both physical and online meetings.
http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/0 -
Does anyone commenting on here have an eating disorder? If not, maybe this is why you're showing concern in this way:c I do really understand and appreciate all that you're saying. BUT I can tell you only have an idea of what an eating disorder is like. God, I'm going to be like this forever. I'm sorry I wish I could eat normal like you guys instead of either restricting or binging, hurting myself. I don't know anymore.I'm just so so tired. Sorry and thank you.0
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I think I've come a long way through. I use to frequent proana and promia sites with the intention of self destructive behavior. I saw on IG how so many girls and boys support each others recovery without triggering. If you attended an impatient or therapy session for ed you would see how brutal it is, very much about forcing weight gain and regulating eating when those are only symptoms... Ed is allll mental. It's hard to make an outsider understand and help you in a battle against your own mind,when they never had to do it themselves or not presently going through the same thing.0
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AuroraGeorge8393 wrote: »Instead of PMing people, why not join an eating disorder support group?
A list of support groups organized by state can be found here:
http://www.anad.org/eating-disorders-get-help/eating-disorders-support-groups/
There is also Eating Disorders Anonymous. They have both physical and online meetings.
http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/
These are good links
You need to surround yourself with people who have normal reactions to food and normal sense of their physicality
Many of your posts is your illness talking
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estherssweater wrote: »Does anyone commenting on here have an eating disorder? If not, maybe this is why you're showing concern in this way:c I do really understand and appreciate all that you're saying. BUT I can tell you only have an idea of what an eating disorder is like. God, I'm going to be like this forever. I'm sorry I wish I could eat normal like you guys instead of either restricting or binging, hurting myself. I don't know anymore.I'm just so so tired. Sorry and thank you.
I used to suffer from anorexia; too scared to eat more than 700 calories a day, (and so would usually eat between 300 and 500) would regularly become faint, pass out, so weak I couldn't go to work or even get out of bed some days, lost my period, grew hair where there shouldn't be hair, brittle nails, had to wear gloves even in the summer because I was so cold. Used to frequent all the pro-ana sites too.
My best friend was also anorexic. We would get together, drink wine and talk about our illness. At the time we had this 'us against the world' attitude-no-one understood what we were going through, and it was this that bonded us even more strongly. We thought that we were supporting each other, as we understood what each other was going through.
Nope. In hindsight, and it took us until the point we decided to move in together that we realized we were actually just fuelling each other's illness. We weren't looking for support, we were looking for validation that the way we were living was Ok. And it wasn't. I recovered just over a year ago, and in that year I gained two stone, which was a bit too much, which is why I am here; to learn how to do this the healthy way.
Honestly, if you are serious about recovering and learning how to lose weight the healthy way, this is the best place to be. In my experience, I thought that talking to people with the same or similar disorders as me would help, but it just dragged me down further. Even now, I still have 'bad days' where I convince myself that the only way I will lose weight is to not eat anything, start starving myself. But it is the people here, the people who are happy, fit, the people who will advise, share recipes and push themselves to their physical limits that really inspire me to be a better person (a person who eats!).
Speaking from experience, my advice would be not to seek out a disordered penpal; go speak to someone before you waste too much of your life to this illness, and draw inspiration from those men and women here who lift heavy, run fast and eat healthy, because God Damn, most of them look a hell of a lot better (and happier!) than I did when I was all skin and bone and grossly out of proportion!1 -
NoIdea101NoIdea wrote: »estherssweater wrote: »Does anyone commenting on here have an eating disorder? If not, maybe this is why you're showing concern in this way:c I do really understand and appreciate all that you're saying. BUT I can tell you only have an idea of what an eating disorder is like. God, I'm going to be like this forever. I'm sorry I wish I could eat normal like you guys instead of either restricting or binging, hurting myself. I don't know anymore.I'm just so so tired. Sorry and thank you.
I used to suffer from anorexia; too scared to eat more than 700 calories a day, (and so would usually eat between 300 and 500) would regularly become faint, pass out, so weak I couldn't go to work or even get out of bed some days, lost my period, grew hair where there shouldn't be hair, brittle nails, had to wear gloves even in the summer because I was so cold. Used to frequent all the pro-ana sites too.
My best friend was also anorexic. We would get together, drink wine and talk about our illness. At the time we had this 'us against the world' attitude-no-one understood what we were going through, and it was this that bonded us even more strongly. We thought that we were supporting each other, as we understood what each other was going through.
Nope. In hindsight, and it took us until the point we decided to move in together that we realized we were actually just fuelling each other's illness. We weren't looking for support, we were looking for validation that the way we were living was Ok. And it wasn't. I recovered just over a year ago, and in that year I gained two stone, which was a bit too much, which is why I am here; to learn how to do this the healthy way.
Honestly, if you are serious about recovering and learning how to lose weight the healthy way, this is the best place to be. In my experience, I thought that talking to people with the same or similar disorders as me would help, but it just dragged me down further. Even now, I still have 'bad days' where I convince myself that the only way I will lose weight is to not eat anything, start starving myself. But it is the people here, the people who are happy, fit, the people who will advise, share recipes and push themselves to their physical limits that really inspire me to be a better person (a person who eats!).
Speaking from experience, my advice would be not to seek out a disordered penpal; go speak to someone before you waste too much of your life to this illness, and draw inspiration from those men and women here who lift heavy, run fast and eat healthy, because God Damn, most of them look a hell of a lot better (and happier!) than I did when I was all skin and bone and grossly out of proportion!
Great post. Thank you for sharing.1
This discussion has been closed.
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