SO, when does the self confidence come?

callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »

i was confident fat.

i just feel and look better now.

LOL

Same here - I mean, I'm still overweight, but confidence isn't an issue. It isn't tied to my weight, so if it's something you struggled with before, I can see it still being an issue now, even after the weight is gone. You've done an awesome thing and should be very proud of yourself. I'm not to the end of my weight loss yet, but I've seen several other people on the forums mention that they saw a therapist once they got to their goal weight, because mentally and emotionally, it can be a very taxing experience and sometimes you still need a little help getting your head right, even though you've accomplished getting your body "right." Congrats & I hope you can find that peaceful place where you're happy with who you are. It's a great place to be.

jemhh wrote: »

wolfsbayne wrote: »

Honestly, I had more confidence when I was heavier. I think it may have been because I wasn't overly concerned with my size and looks and now I am more so concerned and never satisfied.

Same here.

Ditto....though my issue is that now I feel like a walking false advertisement. The excess skin makes my body look grosser than it ever did as a fat person. Everyone says "But you look good in clothes", or "but you can't tell with clothes on" (this depends on which clothes....if I wear clothes that cover the majority of my body, which is extremely uncomfortable in the summer, you can definitely tell.) but that just means what you see is no longer what you get

It doesn't matter how much weight I lose, I won't have or be self-confident. If you ever get yours OP, good job.

People are talking more about body image, which I get, but for me, shifting thoughts about your body to what you *use * it for is really helpful. You think about how strong your legs feel and what they did instead of what they look like

usmcmp wrote: »

It's something you build separately. Self confidence doesn't come from weight loss.

I agree with this. Weight loss can only reveal what was already there.

Good luck! :drinker:

I just wanted to say congrats!!!! You should be super proud of yourself and hardwork. I'm just starting my journey all over again after a knee injury. One day at a time

It is interesting that in many goals in life.. it takes so much work and time to get to them.. it is the journey that is cool..when one arrives at the goal is almost like a let down. There's an expectation of a feeling of "arriving" and it doesn't.
Look at things in a practical sense. It is amazing and wonderful that you lost your weight..it was hard and took dedication and discipline to do that and the people around you are impressed even if you don't realize the fact. TAke some time and reflect and reward yourself.

A lot of times, the lack of self-confidence comes when one starts carrying around the dysfunctional baggage that others have left at their feet, through acerbic language that cuts deeper than any knife.

Another way that lack of self-confidence can become an problem, is when one starts taking physical and or emotional inventory and bases it on a myopic presentation from others.

A lot of people work on getting their physical body in shape without working on the focal issues that brought them to get overweight in the first place, whether it be physical, mental or spiritual. The weight comes off but the underlying problems are still there. The difference is the temporary distraction of focusing on the weight loss itself, instead of dealing with the complete person. Often times, this triggers the yo-yo affect, where people find themselves going in circles wondering why they can't maintain the progress they had when they were so focused on losing weight.

As if being a flawed human isn't hard enough sometimes, we are constantly bombarded with various forms of media, that enforces the ideology, that self-worth and societal acceptance is based on having a certain body type or physical characteristic. And over time many people start embracing the dysfunctional logical fallacy premise being posited by the media at large. And with the constant advertising / rating changes, those who have inadvertently attached themselves to the shallow advertising gimmick(s) without realizing it, suddenly find themselves confused and frustrated as to what is good and acceptable, as far as society is concerned (whatever the heck that is supposed to mean).

Confidence comes from within. It is accepting yourself for who you are, both good and bad. It doesn't mean that you see yourself as perfect or dismissive of certain areas of life that need attention. It simply means that you see inside yourself as you really are. There is no rationalization of the irrational. There is no comparison to others. You see yourself and realize that you are just as worthy of love and happiness as any other person, in spite of not pleasing everyone or holding up to some mythical societal expectation.

Ever meet someone that hates silence and hates to be by themselves for any length of time?

Ever meet someone who is constantly going from one relationship to another without any real alone time?

Ever meet someone who has a lot of confusion, frustration, or heartache with another, and does everything in the world but talk with the person that is at the center?

Often times, that is because a lot of people find it scary to be face to face themselves. In the quiet, the loudness of the heart and soul can be heard. And a lot of times, a person isn't ready or willing to listen to what they already know to be true and needful.

Don't compare yourself to others. That is a recipe for frustration and disappointment.

Be who you are and be proud of yourself. Be honest with yourself.

Casting off the skewed image of what is good or the proverbial "norm," as well as the baggage from the past, that others left at your feet and you started carrying, will help you to take that first step towards getting to know yourself and coming to accept and love yourself; self-confidence.