Dealing with embarrassment...what's your trick?

I doubt anyone is looking at you, and if they are, then they caught you doing a healthful activity. No big deal.

Worrying about what strangers think about you, a person they don't even know, is to give up power over yourself. Don't degrade who you are and where you are going, by worrying about what strangers might think.

melimomTARDIS wrote: »

I doubt anyone is looking at you, and if they are, then they caught you doing a healthful activity. No big deal.

I agree. You really just have to keep telling yourself "Who cares what they think?" They will be falling all over themselves to compliment you and ask how you did it when the weight loss becomes obvious.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was squeeze my (at the time) 280 lb body into a swimming suit and go to the pool for a water aerobics class. After the first couple of times, the self consciousness went away completely.

There are gyms that cater more towards people making life changes rather than those already into it hardcore. Planet Fitness is one of them and even advertises 'no lunks' and has a reputation for kicking those that are more fit out when they are being aggressive with weights or gawking.

I happen to like lifting heavy and sometimes I make a little noise when I'm doing it. They don't appreciate me there. I've found a local iron gym that suits my needs.

Depending on your goals though, a local iron gym may be more suited to your needs.

I think most people are too busy thinking about themselves to notice others lol. Even when they do they don't particularly care. When I see people out walking/jogging most of the time I think to myself "good for them" or "it's too damn hot to be outside..." and go about my business.

I never worried about it. Just try to put it out of your mind.

Those people you work with see you all the time at work....they already know what you look like. If they are making judgments about your weight, they have already done so. What difference does it make if they also see you exercising? The point is, even if they do see you, you aren't doing anything wrong. In fact, you are doing something positive for yourself. And if they want to think something negative about that (I don't know why they would), it doesn't hurt you in any way.

I'm sure you have lots of random thought every day about strangers you see or people you know that you see...some positive and some negative. If you keep your thoughts to yourself, it has zero impact on those people. The same goes with their thoughts about you.

When I was in my 20s, I was trying to lose 80 pounds and I would walk every day in an empty parking lot next to my apartment building. Unfortunately there was a major road nearby, and sometimes guys driving past would yell things at me. The first time it happened, I burst into tears, but dammit, I kept walking. They actually motivated me to try harder. Ever since then, when I see someone who's overweight out walking, I silently cheer them on. I know it can take guts to get out there, especially when you are seeing people you know, but I bet that many more of them will admire you for trying to get healthy than will have negative thoughts or comments about what you are doing (and many of them will be jealous). Don't worry about what other people think, focus on making yourself stronger! You can do this!

gaelicstorm26 wrote: »

I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm down 18 pounds already but I would like to lose about 100 lbs total. I don't have a problem with motivation, I have a problem with what I think other people are thinking about me when I try to be active. I want to be more active but I find myself waiting until it's dark to do my thing.

How did you guys cope when you were first starting out and worried about what other people thought? I know it's a personal problem, but I walk in the neighborhood where I live as the surrounding older part of the neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks. There are a lot of people I work with who live right by me.

And tips? When will it get easier? Am I dumb?

No your not dumb, I struggle with the with the same thoughts ( I think most do) I try to reverse it and use the desire to show people I'm working hard at changing my body as my motivation. It's helped tremendously while running. The cars and head turns are the one thing that keep me going the last mile sometimes. I don't know how to make you think like that though, you just gotta do that for yourself and start caring more about what your doing and less about what people think....

"What other people think of me is none of my business." <--- it helped me a lot to remember that, particularly when I was over 300 lbs and my only form of exercise was to walk around my neighbourhood.

But you know what? I've had people yell out of their car window at me while I was huffing and puffing up a hill. I've felt judged by my size, and when I joined a gym, felt pity on the people working out behind me while my backside was jiggling on the treadmill. Where are most of these people now? I have no idea. But I know where I am - 155 lbs lower on the scale than I used to be. And for every person that judged me for being fat and working out, there were others that walked up and congratulated me on the effort I was putting in day after day, and those that told me they wanted to be more like me.

As for the people who saw me huffing and puffing and sweating, the ones who saw me in weird clothes and runners on 40 degree celcius days - the mothers at my children's Kindergarten and school, who I still see every week - well, they're just plain amazed and full of compliments. Did it matter that they saw me looking dreadful? Not a bit.