Can't sleep

123457

Replies

  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Cant Sleep? Story of my life! :confused:
    Thats why I have 45,782 Posts! :tongue:
  • s_y8s
    s_y8s Posts: 1,849 Member
    GreenGoddess22 wrote: »
    Okay, so this evening I went to a bar with my friend (and neighbor), her good friend's husband is in a local band. They play at a variety of small local bars just for fun on the weekends. The wife had a table reserved for a handful of friends so we all sat down and introduced ourselves to the people already seated. The man next to me introduced himself, explaining he was a childhood friend of the husband. I noticed this friend had a scar on his neck, but didn't think much of it. When the band took a break we could all hear each other so I started chatting with the man. He told me this crazy *kitten* story about how his ex-wife tried to kill him FOUR TIMES!!! First, she hired a hit man to cut his throat while he walked on the beach, it didn't work, he assumed it was some random mugger and not his wife. The second time she tried to secretly drug him with tranquilizers, but tall that did was make him sleepy. He still didn't suspect anything at this point. The third time he slipped him ricin, that didn't work, he just felt sick and was still unsuspecting. The fourth and final time she tried to shoot him while he napped on the couch. She used a potato as a silencer (???). That is when he realized it was his wife trying to kill him. Turns out the wife was actually a lesbian and she and her lover had been plotting this!! The wife got 11 years in federal prison for attempted murder!!! He was on Montell Williams and some reality show about almost being killed by a spouse. I thought he was screwing with me until I Googled him.

    No matter how hard your day has been, at least your lesbian wife isn't trying to murder your *kitten*! ;)

    Wow...that's crazy.
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    s_y8s wrote: »
    skahtboi wrote: »
    What did the buffalo say to his boy when he was leaving to go to college?

    I don't know


    Bison
  • s_y8s
    s_y8s Posts: 1,849 Member
    skahtboi wrote: »
    s_y8s wrote: »
    skahtboi wrote: »
    What did the buffalo say to his boy when he was leaving to go to college?

    I don't know


    Bison
    Haha cute!

  • Winston817
    Winston817 Posts: 1,335 Member
    s_y8s wrote: »
    GreenGoddess22 wrote: »
    Okay, so this evening I went to a bar with my friend (and neighbor), her good friend's husband is in a local band. They play at a variety of small local bars just for fun on the weekends. The wife had a table reserved for a handful of friends so we all sat down and introduced ourselves to the people already seated. The man next to me introduced himself, explaining he was a childhood friend of the husband. I noticed this friend had a scar on his neck, but didn't think much of it. When the band took a break we could all hear each other so I started chatting with the man. He told me this crazy *kitten* story about how his ex-wife tried to kill him FOUR TIMES!!! First, she hired a hit man to cut his throat while he walked on the beach, it didn't work, he assumed it was some random mugger and not his wife. The second time she tried to secretly drug him with tranquilizers, but tall that did was make him sleepy. He still didn't suspect anything at this point. The third time he slipped him ricin, that didn't work, he just felt sick and was still unsuspecting. The fourth and final time she tried to shoot him while he napped on the couch. She used a potato as a silencer (???). That is when he realized it was his wife trying to kill him. Turns out the wife was actually a lesbian and she and her lover had been plotting this!! The wife got 11 years in federal prison for attempted murder!!! He was on Montell Williams and some reality show about almost being killed by a spouse. I thought he was screwing with me until I Googled him.

    No matter how hard your day has been, at least your lesbian wife isn't trying to murder your *kitten*! ;)

    Wow...that's crazy.

  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    Cant Sleep? Story of my life! :confused:
    Thats why I have 45,782 Posts! :tongue:

    Really?? And here I thought all along it was just that you were super talkative.
  • Winston817
    Winston817 Posts: 1,335 Member
    GreenGoddess22 wrote: »
    Okay, so this evening I went to a bar with my friend (and neighbor), her good friend's husband is in a local band. They play at a variety of small local bars just for fun on the weekends. The wife had a table reserved for a handful of friends so we all sat down and introduced ourselves to the people already seated. The man next to me introduced himself, explaining he was a childhood friend of the husband. I noticed this friend had a scar on his neck, but didn't think much of it. When the band took a break we could all hear each other so I started chatting with the man. He told me this crazy *kitten* story about how his ex-wife tried to kill him FOUR TIMES!!! First, she hired a hit man to cut his throat while he walked on the beach, it didn't work, he assumed it was some random mugger and not his wife. The second time she tried to secretly drug him with tranquilizers, but tall that did was make him sleepy. He still didn't suspect anything at this point. The third time he slipped him ricin, that didn't work, he just felt sick and was still unsuspecting. The fourth and final time she tried to shoot him while he napped on the couch. She used a potato as a silencer (???). That is when he realized it was his wife trying to kill him. Turns out the wife was actually a lesbian and she and her lover had been plotting this!! The wife got 11 years in federal prison for attempted murder!!! He was on Montell Williams and some reality show about almost being killed by a spouse. I thought he was screwing with me until I Googled him.

    No matter how hard your day has been, at least your lesbian wife isn't trying to murder your *kitten*! ;)

  • GreenGoddess22
    GreenGoddess22 Posts: 3,818 Member
    Not to sound like a total pervert, but I kinda want to touch @bobbyh2o84 just to see how hard those muscles and abs feel. My God, you are built like a brickhouse!!
  • missouriangel
    missouriangel Posts: 102 Member
    That is crazy and the bison was cuuteeee!...lol
  • Luke_I_am_your_spotter
    Luke_I_am_your_spotter Posts: 4,179 Member
    still cant sleep?
  • s_y8s
    s_y8s Posts: 1,849 Member
    Jersey__Devil wrote: »
    still cant sleep?

    Another sleepless night. Too much caffeine today
  • missouriangel
    missouriangel Posts: 102 Member
    Nope always awake...lol
  • Luke_I_am_your_spotter
    Luke_I_am_your_spotter Posts: 4,179 Member
    tell ya what...you give me your phone #, ill call and talk about nothing but space for an hour. I GUARENTEE you will be sleeping within 10-15 minutes
  • Winston817
    Winston817 Posts: 1,335 Member
    Ok...now if I fall asleep. .I'm going to be dreaming of lesbian zombies chasing me trying to kill me....now I'm totally screwed ;)
  • s_y8s
    s_y8s Posts: 1,849 Member
    Jersey__Devil wrote: »
    tell ya what...you give me your phone #, ill call and talk about nothing but space for an hour. I GUARENTEE you will be sleeping within 10-15 minutes

    Lol
  • GreenGoddess22
    GreenGoddess22 Posts: 3,818 Member
    Winston817 wrote: »
    Ok...now if I fall asleep. .I'm going to be dreaming of lesbian zombies chasing me trying to kill me....now I'm totally screwed ;)

    LMAO. Seriously though, just divorce him! Why try to kill him?!

  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    skahtboi wrote: »
    FabulousFantasticFifty wrote: »
    Cant Sleep? Story of my life! :confused:
    Thats why I have 45,782 Posts! :tongue:

    Really?? And here I thought all along it was just that you were super talkative.

    That too! :tongue:
  • Jrodasff
    Jrodasff Posts: 334 Member
    Jersey__Devil wrote: »
    tell ya what...you give me your phone #, ill call and talk about nothing but space for an hour. I GUARENTEE you will be sleeping within 10-15 minutes

    Ask a girl for her number on MFP. Lol brilliant!
  • missouriangel
    missouriangel Posts: 102 Member
    :p y'all are funny
  • Winston817
    Winston817 Posts: 1,335 Member
    GreenGoddess22 wrote: »
    Winston817 wrote: »
    Ok...now if I fall asleep. .I'm going to be dreaming of lesbian zombies chasing me trying to kill me....now I'm totally screwed ;)

    LMAO. Seriously though, just divorce him! Why try to kill him?!

    Now an army of zombie divorce attorneys are after me....see what you started! ;)
  • Luke_I_am_your_spotter
    Luke_I_am_your_spotter Posts: 4,179 Member
    ffjrodas wrote: »
    Jersey__Devil wrote: »
    tell ya what...you give me your phone #, ill call and talk about nothing but space for an hour. I GUARENTEE you will be sleeping within 10-15 minutes

    Ask a girl for her number on MFP. Lol brilliant!

    lol
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    Why are y'all whining about zombies?? You have had ample time to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. What were you doing all of that time???
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    Heck...even the Pentagon prepared: http://foreignpolicy.com/2014/05/13/exclusive-the-pentagon-has-a-plan-to-stop-the-zombie-apocalypse-seriously/
  • bobbyh2o84
    bobbyh2o84 Posts: 74 Member
    bf5jnd4ur7vg.jpg
    Been working hard at it!!
  • s_y8s
    s_y8s Posts: 1,849 Member
    Another sleepless night due to caffeine
  • alpha_515
    alpha_515 Posts: 222 Member
    You're probably on a never ending low carb diet I presume ?
  • s_y8s
    s_y8s Posts: 1,849 Member
    alpha_515 wrote: »
    You're probably on a never ending low carb diet I presume ?

    I am on low carb, how do u know? Haha I can't sleep because I took pain reliever with caffeine in it :(
  • BlondieSays
    BlondieSays Posts: 331 Member
    skahtboi wrote: »
    Why are y'all whining about zombies?? You have had ample time to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. What were you doing all of that time???

    <3
  • alpha_515
    alpha_515 Posts: 222 Member
    s_y8s wrote: »
    alpha_515 wrote: »
    You're probably on a never ending low carb diet I presume ?

    I am on low carb, how do u know? Haha I can't sleep because I took pain reliever with caffeine in it :(

    haha cause most low carb/keto people complain of sleep. You need to have a high carb days atleast 2-3 times a week, it's brain food. Produces serotonin in your brain, makes you feel good and induces sleep.
  • s_y8s
    s_y8s Posts: 1,849 Member
    alpha_515 wrote: »
    s_y8s wrote: »
    alpha_515 wrote: »
    You're probably on a never ending low carb diet I presume ?

    I am on low carb, how do u know? Haha I can't sleep because I took pain reliever with caffeine in it :(

    haha cause most low carb/keto people complain of sleep. You need to have a high carb days atleast 2-3 times a week, it's brain food. Produces serotonin in your brain, makes you feel good and induces sleep.

    I've been sleeping fine, it's because of the caffeine. I wasn't thinking
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